We had this come into focus when our daughter got married. All her college friends treated it like some kind of destination wedding. They came for a week, toured SF & spent a few days at different beaches, they did all the touristy things. I think they had a good time & we gained a greater appreciation of the place we sometimes take for granted. Amber in SJ

Yep, definitely needs its own day or two Amber in SJ

Or you could convince your family to go to Yosemite and do this:

My SF recommendations are: Legion of Honor Museum, Kirby Cove, Chinatown & Ghirardelli Square Kirby Cove in particular is a big insider secret that I am going to let out of the bag (J/K) You go past the Golden Gate, park, and take a little hike (about a mile but it is all downhill on the way; just don't think about how you are going to get back) it is a lovely pebbled beach (put flip flops in your bag; this is no place to go barefoot.) with a log swing that you sit on & swing out over the ocean. The view looking back at the GG is stunning. When you are ready to head back into SF you will go back over the GG. If you want to see the redwoods without the craziness of Muir Woods, go to Big Basin Redwoods. Stop in Felton, and take one of the little steam trains either through the redwoods or all the way to Santa Cruz. For beaches, I am not the biggest fan of Santa Cruz itself. If you are a roller coaster/ amusement park person then the Boardwalk is cool. If you are there for the beach then Natural Bridges, New Brighton, Sunset or Manresa are prettier, cleaner & less crowded. Both Natural Bridges & Pacific Grove are butterfly sanctuaries for Monarch butterflies. They stay over the winter & millions of them hang in thick clusters from the trees. I wish we could do a WTM meet up. This is what our beautiful Central Coast looks like: Natural Bridges State Park

Ha! So true. And keep an eye on your neighbors so the renters don't turn it into a grow house and accidentally burn it to the ground. Which is what happened on one of the cul-de-sacs 2 blocks away across the street from our Elementary school.

I know that location, location, location is what people say, and I like our little neighborhood, but it is not the nice/ fancy part of town. The school district is terrible (one of the many reason we homeschool.) We couldn't afford in the good school districts like Cupertino or Santa Clara. There is a 4 lane expressway on the other side of the sound wall in my back yard. I just can't wrap my head around it. My adult children will never be able to live near us. Amber in SJ

First a disclaimer: This is not meant to come across a braggy or in any way offensive. I am just expressing my shock. We bought our first and only house here in CA in the Bay Area in 1997, on a little cul-de-sac. It was the first time our house had been sold other than to the original owners in 1972 when our area was changed from orchards to residential. Our house is a 3/2, 1168 sq, on a decent for our area lot (6880 sq ft) Two months ago the elderly couple who were the original owners of the house next door sold their house for $800K to a realtor. I was in shock. Nothing in that house had been upgraded since the 70s. Shag carpet, popcorn ceiling, crackle finish mirror paneling, rock fireplace, the whole disco shebang :) Their lot is significantly smaller than ours, but their house is bigger because of the 2nd story (4/2, 2256 sqft) A construction crew of some kind showed up everyday for three weeks and the house went on the market Saturday for $1.12 Million. I walked through the open house on Saturday. The walls were freshly painted, popcorn ceiling gone, kitchen cabinets painted, appliances replaced with the most basic type, shag carpet & linoleum ripped out & replaced with cheap laminate and the single pane windows were replaced with low-end double paned. I happen to know their plumbing is still galvanized not copper. Nothing high end, no granite or quartz counters, no fancy master bedroom suite, no walk in closets, no fancy tile, no gourmet kitchen, no fancy windows or lighting, literally nothing I would expect to find in a million dollar house. When the realtor (who is also the owner now) came by during the open house Dh went out & chatted him up and said he has multiple offers, several over the asking price. He said in the last 6 months the longest he has had a house on the market is 11 days. I don't even know what is going on in the economy right now that this could make any sense at all. It actually gives me stress because I think this is not sustainable and a big correction must be coming. What would you expect in a million dollar home? What kind of property or amenities would you consider worth a million dollars? If you went dream shopping for a million dollar home what would it be like? Amber in SJ

Well, here is my almost embarrassing cliche.... We met in high school. I was 16; he was 17. We started dating the next day! I had previously dated someone completely inappropriate so my parents really liked Dh. When he graduated & went to uni he gave me a promise ring set with a pearl and three little diamonds. We did the long distance thing for a year. I graduated & went to the same university. As a parent I am horrified at my decision making, but my parents weren't paying for anything so the decision was mine. Two years later during one of our visits to our home town he let my parents know he was going to propose and asked for their blessing. He also told his parents and took his mom ring shopping. Dh's extended family, with whom he lived, doubled down on their efforts to break us up, because I was not the "right' flavor of Christian for them. We were engaged for a year. I turned 20 three weeks before our wedding. That was 28 years ago. When our adult dd let us know she & her then boyfriend were getting serious, we invited him to come stay with us for the Christmas holidays. His family is in England so he wasn't going home. When they arrived here he took dh aside & let him know he planned to propose, so we helped him plan a romantic setting (on the beach for my ocean loving daughter.) They were home for almost 3 weeks, so we had a chance to get to know him & see how he treated our daughter & how he fit into our family. I am glad it worked out that way. It was very reassuring to see what a lovely person he is. He proposed at the end of the three weeks. We joke & say if he still wanted to marry her after sharing a room with her 11yo brother for three weeks, he's a keeper. My adult daughters happen to be talkers so I get waaaaay more details than I want about the people they are dating so it would be weird if I didn't know about a serious relationship. I am not sure I think a couple is obliged to let their families know, but I'd be a little taken aback if it were sprung on me. Amber in SJ

Me too! Around here a 2 bedroom apartment is around $3K/ month. For the OP. Hang in there. Keep the lines of communication open with your sister so you feel comfortable saying something like, "I would be so disappointed to get rid of the cleaning service. Maybe we could find a compromise." Possibly she doesn't understand that for you the cleaning service represents more than fewer chores for you. Amber in SJ

August has been a mixed bag so far. August 4th is our anniversary. Dh planned a get-away for us in Pacific Grove. Normally it is prohibitively expensive but he got about 65% off because he paid back in May for a Sunday-Tuesday (not prime vacation days) deal. We kept things inexpensive by packing foods from home when possible and sharing entrees when we ate out. Monday night just happened to be a farmer's market/ street fair, so we ate some fantastic food pretty cheaply. We borrowed guest passes to the Monterey Bay. One thing I like to do when we visit very expensive areas is to check out the thrift stores. I found a fancy designer scarf that was exactly what my outfit needed for $1, I found a Bible from 1814 in Dutch (dh's ancestors are from Holland and we have the old wooden shoes to prove it :)) and I found a cool graphic novel that ds has been looking for for $.25. On the not so frugal side it is time to start up regular dance classes which means new togs. Tights, leos, leggings, shorts and on Saturday, pointe shoes. Amber in SJ

This is the product I was talking about on the wedding tablecloth thread https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UFG6260/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B00UFG6260&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=1713835751726239774&pf_rd_r=AR520M8E93C2CSD91DR2&pd_rd_wg=NTszQ&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_w=3MYmc&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pd_rd_r=ff73706a-a0aa-11e8-b24b-87b97a220140 I dislike ironing so I don't do it. This has made mine & my children's lives look like I am more together than I am. When you find out your son didn't hang up his scout shirt the last time he wore it & it has been wadded up in a drawer and the scout court of honor is in 30 minutes. This will do the trick. Put the shirt on a hanger, spray and smooth or tug out wrinkles. When the performance t-shirt that is supposed to be worn for picture day has been stuffed in a dance bag. Put on a hanger, spray lightly & smooth. Ready to go in a few minutes. I always take this when I travel. Even in tight quarters when I can't unpack, but live out of my suitcase for a week, I can take out tomorrow's outfit, spray lightly, smooth out & drape over a chair. I have never had anything stain, but I'd be careful on anything that would water stain like silk or acetate. True confessions time: I have sprayed this on an item that was being worn in a "costume emergency," backstage at a ballet. There wasn't a problem on dance costumes. It won't give you that starched & pressed feel but I don't like that anyway. It smells like fabric softener. I don't mind it & neither do my kids. End of infomercial :) Amber in SJ

Not only that, but as soon as you say the word "wedding" the price almost doubles. If you were to call it a large family party or something of that sort the cost would be much less. It is crazy and a little bit sad. Amber in SJ

Use a handheld steamer or generously spray with Downy Wrinkle Release and give them a good snap & shake and then hang on the line. We also set up the tables the night before so once they were on the tables, they got another light spray of the wrinkle release & sat on the tables overnight. The tables looked great the next day. HTH Amber in SJ

Dh is Mr. DIY, so we have never had anyone working on our house for an extended period of time, but we always know when a neighbor is having work done because the fancy porta-potty shows up in the driveway :) Amber in SJ

Dh spends plenty of time in various parts of Asia for work. He says in Japan many of the engineers go out and get falling down drunk almost every night. Some of the bosses join them, and then the next day it is business as usual and everyone acts like nothing happened. We are LDS, but Dh is a convert so he has been drunk exactly once. A cousin took him out on his 21st birthday (2 months before our wedding) and he got so sick he never drank again. I was pretty happy about it because his family tree is heavy with people with mental health issues exacerbated by addiction issues. As for social drinking, my grandparents came home from work every day and had a martini around 5:30pm (I got to eat the olives) and had a glass of wine with dinner. When we'd go out on the boat they would have a beer with lunch. It was very prescribed what was to be consumed when and on what occasion. On the other hand Dh's grandpa would start with a highball around 4:30 and keep drinking until he went to bed, but it was self medication for sure. Amber in SJ

Dd is taking an online French class. The teacher sends an email with a link to a private virtual classroom. It utilizes her webcam and microphone so the kids can see the teacher and each other in boxes around the teacher like the Brady Bunch graphic. They can hear each other as well, but have to take turns talking or their microphones won't work. They can also type in comments or questions to the teacher. The biggest problem is the teacher is on the East Coast & we are on the West, so her 10am orientation meeting was at 7am. The regular class time is 11am PST for us, so that won't be as bed. Amber in SJ

Ring #1 My Dh & I have completely different tastes in jewelry. Actually we have very different tastes in everything. We got married pretty young and I told him I wanted something small and plain. I was working at a preschool at the time and my hands were always in playdough, or paint, or slime, when they weren't at home in bread dough or making meatballs. He took his mother ring shopping for me because the woman has more jewelry than any one human being should so he thought he would know, and got me the opposite of what I wanted, so I was taking my ring on and off 50 times a day just so it wouldn't get gunky. 90% of the time it went into my pants pocket. When we got married I told him I didn't want my wedding ring attached to my engagement ring, because the band was plain and I could wear that one alone and leave the other ring in my jewelry box. I can't sleep with rings on so my wedding band was always on the ring stand on my night stand, and to be honest I forgot to wear it to work about 50% of the time. At the time we were living in a rental owned by Dh's grandparents. Around our 1st anniversary my MIL wheedled a key out of the grandparents, went into our bedroom and took my wedding ring & engagement ring to the jeweler and had them soldiered together as a "surprise!" I was back to putting it into my pants pocket while doing gross things. About two years after we got married it went into my pants pocket and the pants went into the washer & the ring never came out. Ring #2 MIL was aghast that I had lost my wedding ring so she gave me a wedding band that belonged to Auntie Gen. I had never met Auntie Gen, because she had passed away before I came into the family. Turns out Auntie Gen married her first cousin & was very abusive to her husband & kids & eventually committed suicide. My MIL seemed to take great delight in telling me all the horrible details about how awful Auntie Gen was. Dh's Grandma (Auntie Gen's sister) would cross herself and make the "evil eye" sign every time she saw me with the ring on. I returned the ring to MIL. Ring #3 two years later MIL was still upset that I didn't care to wear a wedding ring and it got worse when I was pregnant. She had a new ring made from the very nice diamond that came from the engagement ring that my FIL gave her (they divorced after Dh & I got married)and gave it to me. Every time she saw me she would admire the ring and tell me she wished she hadn't given me the ring. She also told me she wished she had never divorced my FIL because the man she ran off with turned out to be a cheater (shocker, I know) At the end of that pregnancy when I was too puffy to wear shoes much less rings, the ring went into my jewelry box for safekeeping and disappeared. It was literally there one day and not there the next. I have my suspicions due to the previous actions of MIL, but we just changed the locks without telling her and nothing was ever said. Ring #4 By now we had been married for 5 years. Dh really wanted me to wear a wedding ring. I asked for another plain band. He got me a band set with 5 diamonds across the top. They are set almost flush, they don't have any scratchy bits or things to catch. That is the one I have worn every day for the last 23 years My parents had matching etched gold bands. We lived on a ranch and one day my mom was feeding mash to a calf and her wedding ring slid right off her hand and down the calf's throat. She followed that calf around for weeks but never found it. My dad couldn't wear his ring for safety reasons so she had his cut down and wore it every day for the next 40 years, until she passed away in 2016. Also when my little brother was in the 3rd grade he saved up $7 and bought my mom a sterling silver ring that had some flowers etched around the band and she wore that one every day as well for the next 30 years. Amber in SJ

I have never had the raw cauliflower smell bad after it was cut up. They sell it cut up at the grocery store too & have never noticed a smell. My guess would be something was in the container before the cauliflower went in. Cooked broccoli has a distinct smell, though Amber in SJ

I do tons of "dump dinners" for whatever good protein is on sale. The idea being to buy chicken in bulk when it is on sale and dump it in a freezer bag with the ingredients so it can be dumped into a crockpot & shredded, or roasted in the oven or grilled. One thing I really like to do is prep the week's worth of veggies after I go shopping. We always eat veggies plain steamed, roasted or grilled. I cut up broccoli, cauliflower, squash or green beans and put in zipper bags. One bag/ meal to be steamed in the microwave. I cut up a mixture of lettuce & spinach and put it in a giant Rubbermaid produce saver. It stays fresh all week & people help themselves to salad for lunches or dinner. I make myself an egg & veggie frittata on Monday & eat it for breakfast all week. If I am going to turn on the oven I bake a load of potatoes and keep them in the refrigerator. They can be cubed or shredded for hashbrowns, or potatoes O'Brian or whatever I need them for during the week. Amber in SJ

I made it through Angela's Ashes and These is My Words, but skipped Sarah's Key and Eleni. With those four in one year I bowed out of that particular book club. Amber in SJ

My guys just got back from a week long backpacking trip in Tahoe. They were supposed to go to Yosemite but were diverted because of the fires. Each of them had a bear can for food. Dh likes to layer the bear cans according to when each meal will be eaten. For breakfast they ate instant oatmeal and had a hot apple cider every morning. For lunch they had nut butter on tortillas (gluten free for Mr Food Allergies, Dh) For dinner Dh had Wild Zora brand meals due to his food allergies For dinners Ds had cheese tortellini, instant refried beans (more tortillas,) and loaded mashed potatoes. Each entree was made in by adding boiling water to a freezer bag with stuff in it. He had Mountain House dinners for the other nights. They packed freeze dried fruit and homemade trail mix for snacks. Your trip sounds so fun Amber in SJ

We don't have an Aldi's, so I haven't tried them out. I have shopped, very infrequently, at Wal-Mart for groceries and been disappointed in the quality, particularly the produce. every time. Costco's organics are often cheaper that other store's conventional meats & produce the very small amount of dairy we have and we also wait for the annual coupon on children's allergy medication and stock up. It is really just a matter of knowing your prices. Sometimes Costco will have a coupon that will bring things down lower than the local Safeway. Costco & Trader Joes are in the same shopping center with a Wal-Mart super center, just up the road. I am not a fan of Wal-mart's business practices and I am thankful I have other choices available to me. Amber in SJ

Someone got into our car and filled the air vents with confetti. Like pounds of the stuff. It was obnoxious and messy and lasted for years. Dh & I were students and I went back home a month before our wedding to plan and he had the responsibility of moving all of his stuff and my stuff into what would be our first place together. It was a studio with hardwood floors throughout except in the tiny kitchen & bathroom. Dh had to pile all of our stuff into the kitchen & bathroom because the hardwood floors were being refinished and curing while during the week before & the week after the wedding while we were on our honeymoon. A family member who lives near the new place thought it would be funny to jimmy open a window and spray the inside of the house with silly string and blast in several party cannons of glitter & confetti. She didn't know that the newly varnished floors were still sticky. The record heat baked the colorful silly string onto the walls and the glitter & confetti into the varnish. We didn't have the $$ to get it professionally cleaned so we had to spend hours upon hours cleaning, scraping, re-painting, sanding & revarnishing the floors. The person who did it never apologized or offered to help with the clean-up. Dh's cousin had a feet washing ceremony as a part of the wedding & the groomsmen slipped goldfish into the basin. It was awesome. Amber in SJ

This is me with engagement/ wedding rings. I am currently on my 4th set. I told Dh, "Stop buying me rings with diamonds! I can't take the guilt. I just want a plain band." He doesn't listen. I think it is genetic. My mom accidentally fed her wedding ring to a calf. Amber in SJ

The relevant question is would you pay the full estimated amount if it were your son's fault or if it happened in a parking lot & someone was a jerk and left no note. Or will you pay the full estimated amount if the old dude flat out refuses to pay? If the answer is yes, that you consider that to be a reasonable amount to pay if you were paying it, then by all means ask the old dude & let the chips fall where they may. I do believe that your son can expect a loss of this relationship or at least a cooling. If the answer is that you would attempt to find a cheaper solution like a DIY or a auto repair school (I didn't know that was an option) then I might figure out what that cost would be and offer that solution to the old guy. My reaction may be colored by the fact that last year, my 20yo dd in her 2002 Mercedes scratched the bumper of a 2016 Prius. It was totally her fault. There was zero (and I mean ZERO) damage to her car. We saw the photos she took of his bumper with her phone at the time of the accident. It was on the level of the photo you posted. He refused to not go through the insurances. He would not give us an estimate, would not let us pay and insisted on notifying his & our insurances. Which he was perfectly within his right to do but the consequences were devastating to DD. He found a body shop to quote $4,700 for total bumper replacement. Our insurance just ate it and tripled (tripled!) our premium. She is in college and works 2 jobs. She can't not drive or not have insurance. She certainly couldn't afford the price hike. She pays for her part on our policy. We have had this auto insurance longer than we have been married (28 years) & have never submitted a claim. Because we couldn't it afford either we had to find other insurance. Sometimes our insistence that someone receive the full consequences of an accident can have catastrophic consequences. I have no idea about the other person's situation and you won't know unless you ask. Amber in SJ