I think it is hard because they see them come back with something else a week later, a month later, and so on, over and over again. That doesn't mean that it applies to all individuals, but people in medicine tend to take on that POV as they see the trajectory end up similarly for many patients.

Any luck with a patient advocate?

No. They pretty much say the same, "Well, she is 100 yrs old". It is because of this attitude of not wanting to do much with a 100 yr old that caused damage to her kidneys which is now causing more problems. It is a mess.