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Mrs. A

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  1. My 5 year old is like this and my 7 year old used to be. For them, it is that something is wrong and they do not have the coping skills to handle it or even recognize what is wrong. For example, if my 5 year old is too tired or hungry he is prone to a tantrum over the tiniest thing. He certainly doesn't calm down in 5 or 10 minutes, More like a half hour plus. It usually has to do with not having the right words to solve an issue so he just has an outburst. We have work a lot on it and he has been getting better but it is a lot of work.

    Yes, 5-10 minutes is the norm, but she has definitely had times when she's gone on much longer. Today at church we had a good 20 minutes at least.

  2. Oh my. You have one of THOSE kids.

     

    I get it. I have one of THOSE kids too. It's hard.

     

    Reading the Explosive Child totally changed my world.

     

    Really she could have a major behavioral issue, but most likely, she's just got some lagging coping skills. The above book will revolutionize your world and help you learn to help her.

     

    Some kids never throw tantrums. some kids outgrow them in the toddler preschool years. Some kids have tantrums for....a very very long time. All are well within the range of normal.

    Oh my gosh - THOSE kids, plural? You mean mine is not the only one in the world?! Hallelujah! I seriously thought I was alone. I've never come across another kid irl who was like this. It's always a relief to have company, even if the reason isn't so great.

    • Like 4
  3. So my 5year old dd has these really explosive tantrums sometimes when things don't go her way. I'm really starting to suspect something is up, but I'm not really sure what that something might be? Can anyone help me brainstorm what I need to look at in order to figure out what's going on?

     

    Sometimes she's sweet as can be, Can play by herself really well, loves to practice new skills over and over. And about half the time she can handle disappointment and "no". The other half of the time she can go into these screaming fits over the slightest little thing that didn't go as expected. Any and all attempts to calm her down at that point are hopeless. I usually have to take her to her room and let her have it out there because her screams are deafening. Seriously. When I do that she typically calms down very quickly and comes out of her room ready to be sane once more. Usually within 5-10 minutes. So I don't know if it's a behavioral thing, or maybe some kind of sensitivity that triggers these tantrums, or... ? Any thoughts?

  4. My phone won't let me access my email. It either tells me my username/password are incorrect, or that it can't reach the server. Same thing on my kindle fire. I can access email from my pc and I know the password is correct. I've tried deleting the accoubt and setting it up again, manually entering the settings (tried both Pop3 and Imap) and still nothing. I'm at a total loss.

     

    I can't seem to find anything helpful by googling. Does anyone know anything about this?

  5. Is this a dentist who sees a lot of Medicaid patients? I ask because there are some who are notorious for suggesting caps and similar when they are not necessary. In any event, I would definitely seek a second opinion, maybe for someone who does not take your insurance and would not be doing the work.

    I'm pretty sure they do have a lot of Medicaid patients. We went to this new one after our regular dentist suggested it because she felt like dd's decay was more than she was equipped to handle since she mostly has adult patients. She didn't do an actual exam on ds, but did see the beginnings of the decay in front and suggested that both of them be seen by the pediatric dentist. I'll definitely be speaking to her about this new dentist's suggestions because I trust her opinion.

  6. I took dd, age 5, and ds, age 2, to the dentist today, knowing that there was some decay, but not realizing the full extent. The dentist suggested putting caps on both of them, which we've been through already with dd8. I really don't want to have them go through the whole surgery thing and I know the caps will make me cry, but if we have to we have to. I asked about other options though and she told me about something called Silver Diamine Fluoride, which is applied to the decay and halts it, thus allowing the dentist to just keep an eye and pick and choose which teeth to treat if problems develop in future. The downside to that is that the spots where it's applied turn black and look ugly. Plus we'll have to pay out of pocket since it's not covered by our insurance.

     

    I feel like such a failure as a mother - I have no idea if any of this was preventable or not, but surely it was at least a little bit preventable. I really never prioritized dental care for myself, so it wasn't something I was thinking about with my older kids but I should at least have learned my lesson when we went through this with dd8. I thought I tried harder since then, but somehow it still wasn't enough. The mommy guilt is really hard to bear right now.

     

    So anyway, if anyone has experience with SDF that they can share I'd appreciate it.I never heard of it before today so I feel like I can't compare the 2 options very well.

     

    And if anyone has words of comfort I'm totally open to hearing those as well!

  7. I'm not sure she necessarily needs an extra consequence. As long as you stand by what you said and make sure she follows through with the chores you've given then the length of time she spends doing them is really its own consequence in a sense.

     

    If the crying and whining is incessant and really irritating you might think about possibly sending her to her room to gripe alone so you don't have to hear it, and then when she's done have her finish the chores at that time.

     

    It might help to have something fun to follow up the chores to help motivate her. The other kids could have access to the fun thing as soon as their chores are done so that if she's still complaining she'll see them moving on while she's still not done. It would drive home the point that her dragging it out is only hurting her own opportunity to participate in said fun.

    • Like 5
  8. I'm on my third bujo now. I just use a simple 50 cent comp notebook so there's no fear of "messing up". I use it for a pretty wide variety of things - menu plans (I do 6 weeks at a time), gift idea lists, school ideas, new recipes, notes from podcasts or books, books read, phone numbers, cute things the kids say that I want to remember, etc. It's basically a big brain dump, but with the index it's very easy to find stuff when I need it again. I sometimes do a weekly spread which includes school plans, other times (especially during breaks from school) I don't bother with the weekly.

     

    Sometimes I don't use it for months at a time, other times I use it daily. What's nice is that I am free to use or not use as I please and it's easy to pick back up right where I left off. My first one spanned a little over a year, the second one was about 1.5-2 years. This third one is new so I have yet to see how long a span it will cover. I often reference my old ones, both with The index and with folded pages.

     

    I don't bother with a yearly or monthly calendar. I just use my pain old wall calendar for that. I also don't typically take it anywhere with me. It stays in one place on the dining room table so I always knew where to find it. Sometimes I try to make it pretty, but must of the time it's pretty messy.

    • Like 3
  9. So, so sorry to hear this. Fire is devastating and being displaced is a horrible feeling, but in all things God prevails. Update if you can!

    We have found a long-term temporary home as it were. A Carpatho-Russian parish nearby has been without a priest for quite some time - we are without a building for at least a year. So both our bishop and theirs have given their blessings for us to worship there until we are able to rebuild. We had our first liturgy together there this morning. I'm so thankful that we have an actual church to worship in!

     

    Thanks to all of you for your prayers. :)

    • Like 2
  10. Just seeing this here, but I saw it in my newsfeed last week. So very sorry this happened. I heard (if this is indeed the same parish) that the relics of St. Mary of Egypt were not destroyed by the fire even though the icon in front it and the reliquary were both destroyed.

     

    How is everyone in your parish family holding up? I can't imagine what that would do to our parish as we're pretty dispersed throughout a large region.

    Yes, that's us. That was one of the first questions my dd asked - "are the relics of St. Mary of Egypt ok?" - we had only received them from our bishop just last year.

     

    We are doing ok. It's really heartbreaking when I see the pictures. I was just there the Thursday before it happened and was in the nave by myself to get something from the chanter's stand (a piece of music which I took home that I did not have other copies of - thankful that that was saved too because it was special to me) and I was so present and aware of how much I love the place and how beautiful it was. It was like I had a chance to say goodbye.

     

    The night before last we had a vesperal liturgy for the feast of our patron, St. Matthew. It was held in a funeral home and it was one of the most beautiful liturgies I think I've ever attended.

     

    The support we've received from other parishes in the area is so generous and really wonderful. We're currently still trying to figure out where we'll hold our liturgies on Sundays but there are a few possibilities that look hopeful. Our parishioners are very scattered all over the area and I don't know how it will all work out, but God is good and I'm sure He is with us.

     

    Sent from my LGMS550 using Tapatalk

    • Like 4
  11. There was a fire this morning. The entire building is damaged and the iconostasis was ruined. I'm not sure what will happen next but for now we don't have a physical parish. I'm thankful that we live in an area with many Orthodox parishes within reasonable driving distance, but somehow there's a feeling of homelessness all the same. :(

  12. I don't tend to use weekly spreads like I used to, but it's still my catch-all for everything I want to remember. I find myself referencing my old bujos all the time for recipes, school plans/ideas, etc. I'm on my 3rd one now and plan to keep on going. I love browsing beautiful pictures of fancy bujos but mine is a plain old comp notebook with just plain old ballpoint pen. It works and I love it. <3

    • Like 2
  13.  

    Oh, I would love for you to dive into that one!

     

    Ha! I'll do my best.

     

    So we (Orthodox) tend to understand sin as a symptom, a sign of a broken communion with God. We were created to be in communion, and with the Fall that communion was broken and we've been suffering the effects ever since. So Christ became one of us, united Himself to us in death and taking on a body bound by the natural laws of corruption (decay) and death. He took that on and rose victorious over death so that He could restore that communion and heal the disease that eats away at us all. Yes, there is choice involved on our part - I've often heard the church likened to a hospital where we come, sick and suffering, to be healed. The medicine is there for us to take, Holy Communion, Confession, the other sacraments, prayer, fasting, almsgiving, etc. The extent to which we participate in all these things will have a direct impact on how much we are able be in more perfect communion with Christ. Obviously there are those who become legalistic about "following rules" and that's yet another symptom of illness really, but legalism is not what it's about at all. Really what we ought to be keeping in mind is that by our cooperation with the remedy we are participating in (though not effecting) our healing. Synergy, like I mentioned above.

     

    So good habits, practicing physical acts of virtue, play a big part in that. It's much better to cooperate and take the prescription given in order to be well than to fight taking icky medicine and continue to get worse. Lol

     

    I guess on the outside this can appear to be the same thing as a legalistic attempt to save ourselves, but from the inside it's very differernt. I guess it's another example of how knowing reality is not the same thing as observing our physical environment.

     

    I don't know if that's at all helpful, and I'm not even sure I've explained very well, but I find more and more that these ideas are very foreign to many people and it's hard to know what to say sometimes. Hth.

    • Like 2
  14. I agree with your entire post. I wanted to share something in my personal life that highlights the truth of your statement.

     

    When we moved to Brazil, I didn't know a single word of Portuguese. But I longed to go to Mass every single day. I couldn't understand a single word said, but it didn't matter. I just wanted to be there with Eucharist, with Christ in His body, blood, soul, and divinity. It was a physical and spiritual connection that was not based on any words or anything else. It was the actual physical experience of the Mass and Eucharist. Unless you actually experience the sacraments than discussion is limited to an intellectual exercise.

     

    It is hard to explain "the real-ness of the reality" of sacraments, but your post pointed out a vital part of sacramental life that cannot be understood through just words.

    Yes! Exactly. My own parish does all services in English, but often when traveling we end up in parishes where the liturgy is in Greek or Slavonic. And it's still home - just being there and partaking of communion is enough. And on a related note, when we have to miss church because of illness or something I *feel* it in a way that really can't be described. It's almost like the physical absence of a loved one.

    • Like 1
  15. Lisa, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I see that your signature says you are an Orthodox Christian. Do you see your beliefs on this topic aligning more closely with the Catholic and Lutheran perspectives represented here than what you know of Protestant beliefs? Do you agree that a sacramental view of reality makes virtue ethics non-problematic?

    I do agree with much of what's been said already. I would also say that it's not only the Protestant lack of a sacramental VIEW of reality, but that in combination with no actual EXPERIENCE of sacramental reality. In other words it takes more than just an intellectual understanding. But you have to live it to experience it and that means doing, which brings us back to works. So if there's already a struggle with the false faith/works dichotomy, then it's hard to move forward in that understanding and experience.

     

    I was actually reading an old blog post by my favorite blogger where he points out that virtue is more the power to carry out the manifestations of character rather than the qualities of character themselves. So if that's the case then good habits become even more important.

     

    Another thought I had is that the Orthodox have a concept that's probably pretty foreign to Protestants (based on my limited understanding) and that's the concept of synergy. Basically it means that while God is the only one who actually *saves* us, we are called to work with Him as He effects that salvation. We have a part to play and it's not merely an acceptance of salvation. It's an active work that begins at baptism and continues from then on. For Orthodox salvation is just the beginning. Our ultimate goal is theosis - becoming like God. So we have to work toward that hand in hand with Him. Christ is Risen and has already saved us all. Death is overcome. So now begins the work of becoming whole once more, as we were meant to be. And it IS work. We don't just sit back and say that everything is finished. The foundation of the relationship has been laid (or maybe we should say re-laid) and now we must build on it.

     

    I suppose one's understanding of sin plays a big role here as well. That's probably a whole other thread in itself. :)

     

    So yeah, I think there are several things that contribute to the fact that virtue ethics is not problematic from my pov :)

     

     

    (And by the way, I just realized that you are the Rosie from Education Unboxed! And I wanted to tell you that your videos are awesome and have been SO helpful!! Thank you!!!)

    • Like 2
  16. Another way to look at good works/virtuous deeds is to see them in light of our relationship with Christ. Good works are the way in which we actively pursue that relationship, so if we love Him, or want to love and know Him better, we have to learn to speak his "love language". We pray, fast, and give alms, follow the commandments, in order to deepen the relationship. It becomes a joyful outpouring of love rather than an obligation or a proof of anything.

    • Like 2
  17. I'm really stuck right now in trying to figure out how to handle the issues of failure and sinfulness and virtue and grace with my kids. We deal with perfectionism and pride and selfishness and laziness, etc. every day (as I'm sure all families do), and I sure wish I had a solid foundation to stand on when speaking with my kids about it.

     

     

    I think it's important to remember that training in virtue doesn't mean that we will end up with a "product". The pursuit of virtue only begins in this life, it doesn't end here. Our faults and our sins will beset us our entire lives, so instead of looking to FIX problems (with the implication that once it's fixed it's done and over with), we have to focus on EQUIPPING our kids to struggle with the temptations and faults that they will face throughout their lives. They need tools to help them through the struggle and they need us to step up and model how to use those tools (the most important of which would be repentance!).So instead of focusing on the sin and a perceived lack of grace, you might try to frame the situation as an opportunity for practice and learning. And when they (and you) mess up, just get back up and try again next time.
    • Like 3
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