We've attended the same church for 20+ years and seen it grow from itty-bitty to near-mega. We have the largest family in the church (8 kids), but I can tell you that there would not have been any difference in the way we are treated now. For a new family, I imagine it must be intimidating. But if God is the one that called you there, just hang around and take the extra time to forge relationships. As far as the "they should learn to control their kids" comment goes, that should be unacceptable in any church. Unfortunately, people are people, Christian or not. My family frequently runs across that sort of person in the grocery store and I always say in a hurt/dismayed/shocked voice: "What a horrible thing to say!" Sometimes you've just got to take it upon yourself to educate the masses. ;) Just because someone has a big family doesn't mean they are called to children's ministry, and you can always say smile and say no. Might there be another ministry that you could give back to your church? I believe finding some way of getting involved with helping others is vitally important - maybe not everything is always going to be exciting, but it's so necessary for the well-being of the church as a whole as well as yourself. And as far as hospitality ministries (babysitting, meal delivery, etc.) go, it always takes someone to start (or at least coordinate) them! :D