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Medicmom2.0 last won the day on April 28 2018

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  1. Riley was DS8’s dog, and our younger one is very bonded with DD6. We are kind of thinking maybe getting a puppy that is DS8’s and letting them bond and work together would help DS8 heal. I hadn’t thought about it until the breeder messaged me with condolences and offered a puppy but it may be the best thing.
  2. DS8 has a better day at school, but his routine was to come home and decompress with his dog. He tried cuddling with our other dog, but she’s depressed herself and not very cuddly to start with. She’s five and still thinks she’s a puppy—she’ll chase balls all day but isn’t very comforting for DS. He’s very upset right now. Our younger dog’s breeder has reached out to me and offered a puppy half price from her litter. As she only has a litter once every few years, it is amazing she has a litter right now and some unclaimed puppies. She’s an amazing, homeschool mom who loves Golden retrievers and is passionate about the breed. I was not intending to get another puppy so soon, but it may be the best thing for DS8. He loves animals, especially golden retrievers, and working with and loving on a puppy may be the best thing for him. We’re going to pray about it as well as ask our vet if they think it would further upset our other dog. The puppies wouldn’t even be ready for another month, so it would give us some time to adjust.
  3. We explored all that. He could no longer walk, and was obviously miserable, so we didn’t want to put him through anymore pain just for us. If the tumor had been lower, they said we could have amputated, but it had eaten through the femur shaft. I just couldn’t watch him suffer.
  4. We are leaving soon. DS8 is going between uncontrollable sobbing and stimming. I am not a dog person, but Riley has my heart. A few years ago, when DS8 was about 5, he started sleep walking. One night I was sleeping soundly and Riley came upstairs and insisted on getting me up. He was so persistent I followed him downstairs. DS5 had slept walked outside to the back deck and was asleep in the snow. The temperature was -10. Our other dog, also a golden retriever, followed him out and was covering him with her body. Riley came upstairs to get me. I know they’re dogs, but these Goldens are my angels. Riley has comforted DS8 through so many meltdowns and anxiety issues where I never could. He keeps asking if there’s anything we could do, but when Cornell says it’s too far advanced, there’s no other options. Now I’m crying, and I have to go put him in my car and go to the vet.
  5. My DS8, with ASD, started his new school today. I’ve already heard from the teacher that it was rough, which is typical for him and a new place. Then we found out this morning that our oldest beloved golden retriever has a tumor that has eaten through his femur bone. He is obviously in a lot of pain and we have chosen to put him to sleep tonight. We feel it’s better than to drag it out because he’s in so much pain and my son’s autism will cause him to obsess about all of it. Please pray for us. The last school deterioration was caused by the trauma of losing his beloved teacher, counselor and psychologist. We got Riley just before DS8 was born and they are very bonded; Riley is basically his emotional support dog. And on the day he started at a new school....this is going to be so hard.
  6. Last year I asked the same question on here and was unanimously advised to quit. I’d taken the job in a moment of frustration with my current job and it was not at all what was promised or described. More than that, my instincts just kept saying leave. So a week into it, I did. Unfortunately my treasured shifts at work had already been given away, and I’m not overly happy with the schedule I have now, but that’s the price you pay. There were several things going on that I could not have known or imagined that would have made that job very difficult or impossible if I stayed. My instincts were right. Quit before you get farther into it. Then enjoy your cruise and focus on job hunting when you get back.
  7. This transcript is what I had read and could not find. I don’t think any of the reactions are abnormal or even unhealthy. Abused children still love and care for their abusers. I hope they can all find some measure of peace. Given their ages, I don’t have a lot of hope these parents won’t get out after 25 years. They’ll be old(states tend to parole older people due to lower recidivism as well as the incredible cost of medical care of elderly in the prison system) and it’s likely one or more of the children will testify at the parole hearing that they want their parents out and will care for them.
  8. The oldest gave a pretty damning statement, but some of the other children asked for lighter sentencing and the restraining order to be lifted.
  9. The older children gave statements at the sentencing, but it was all our parents loved us/loved each other/did the best they could. The whole thing is just so horrific I can’t even read much about it.
  10. Given all all the information, this sounds like a reasonable solution. A GED and trade program will lead to a job and also allow for him to go to college later on if he chooses to later on. The parents can’t babysit him and he’s really too old to force anything. My uncle did something similar. He did wind up graduating the summer afterward, but he had been held back a year and was 19 anyway and just so over school. The wisest thing my grandparents ever did was just let him leave school in January of the year we would have graduated high school(we’re about the same age). It preserved their relationship, he decided on his own to take the missing classes later , learned a trade and got a job. He decided to go back to school in his late 20s and get a degree. It just took him a while.
  11. Is he correct? Can he just go to the CC for a trade; and that’s what he wants to do and is suitable for? Maybe that is really the best situation for him, though I suspect he’s going to find he at least needs a GED to get into the trade program.
  12. It’s not the program I really wanted, but once I toured that classroom I knew it wasn’t the best fit for him. It was mostly nonverbal children with autism, and DS8 is very verbal, though it’s mostly information dumping, and lonely. The classroom he’s going to is emotional disturbances, and while it’s not the greatest location for us, the classroom is best for him. Also, I was offered and accepted the job I interviewed for today! It is a regional family advocate position, supervising family advocates, and is perfect. I’m finally using that MSW I haven’t touched in years and will be supporting and advocating for families with children with developmental disabilities and emotional/mental health needs. I’m taking a huge pay cut, but I can stay working as a paramedic a day a week and we can afford the pay cut at this point. oh—and the job, which came out of the blue last week and I was recruited for(didn’t apply, it was a friend of a friend recommendation), is in the same town DS8’s new class is in. So I truly feel like everything is meant to be.
  13. This sounds even more to me like something that cannot wait until the end of the month the month. If she’s truly irrational during an anxiety attack and you cannot take her safely in a car, call 911. It happens more than you’d guess.
  14. Gently, this sounds like an impossible situation. If your MIl’s anxiety is so bad that you can’t leave her, and her doctor cannot get her in until the end of the month, I would consider taking her to the ER for an evaluation. If it’s pure anxiety, a psych admission for medication management may be warranted. Or they may be able to give you some meds short term. Or a myriad of medical reasons that need attention. Your 17 y/o needs some grace. The whole household is overwhelmed, she doesn’t feel well and doesn’t have her room. I’d be having cranky meltdowns too.
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