I was thinking they had to be taken *before* you graduate from high school, so that would necessitate taking them earlier if she graduates earlier. But Carrie pointed out that you can still take the SAT after graduation. The CC only requires you to take their own placement exam, so not needed for that.

Our issue isn't really with the university itself, but with the crime rate. Of the two big state schools, one has a pretty decent program in the area of study she's interested in. But it's also a pretty crime-ridden campus/neighborhood, and we're nervous about the thought of sending her there for reasons of personal safety. Other people who live here, though, would tell you that we're overreacting and being ridiculous. I've noticed that people who grew up here always say, "oh, it's bad everywhere". But when you have always lived in places that weren't bad and then you move here, it seems pretty shocking. I guess it's all relative. But we'd feel a lot better about sending her to a safer campus.

Well, I certainly respect the fact that we can't know all the facts of the situation. Putting myself in her daughter's shoes, if I felt that waves of disapproval were radiating from my mother in front of my children, I'd do something to try to put an end to that as well. It would have to be VERY bad before I would threaten to cut off contact, but as you so rightfully pointed out, not knowing details, I can't evaluate their situation. That is very hard. An aunt of mine died a few years ago, and my grandmother (her mother) was devastated when my uncle started seriously dating another woman, and wanted to introduce them. At first, my grandmother refused to meet her, because it was so painful to her to think of her daughter being "replaced" in that way. My Mom and another aunt had a heart to heart with her and told her that for the sake of the relationship with a son-in-law that she loves very much, she needed to put her feelings aside and accept the situation. So she did. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for her to do so, but she did it. The loss of a spouse, whether through death or divorce, is painful for the entire family. So I have no trouble imagining that your friend/neighbor is still reeling. I just hope that she won't let her pain over losing a son-in-law cause her to lose a daughter too. My heart goes out to her, truly, and the whole family. I hope they find peace.

Perhaps you posted this earlier and I missed it, but may I ask, what exactly is it she's being asked to do that goes against her conscience? What, specifically, is this pressure she's under?

You're absolutely right. And since I know that, I have no excuse for not wording my post more thoughtfully. Exactly! The truth is, I kind of idolize the police a bit. I've had nothing but good experiences with them, and I think that line of work is truly a noble calling. And that's why it upsets me so much to read stories of such horrifying abuses of power by the police. And the response by good decent cops has been largely disappointing to say the least. So now the whole profession is tainted, not by the few bad apples, but by the apathy so many of the good ones.

My concern is this: who polices the police in this country? The police! I don't know whose brilliant idea that was, but it was doomed from the beginning to result in abuse and corruption. And black people have paid the bulk of the price for that abuse and corruption. Let's not kid ourselves about that. So now we have a movement in response to that incredibly unjust situation, and what is the police response to that movement? "Blue lives matter"??? That sounds to me like an attempt to deflect attention away from the problems that led to this horrible situation in the first place, and paint themselves as the victims. And yes, of course I realize that individuals officers have been the victims of horrible, inexcusable violence. I'm not trying to sweep that under the rug or say it doesn't matter. My point is that that response seems to me like they are trying really hard to sweep the injustices committed by the police under the rug and say they don't matter. There are a lot of good cops out there who are trying so hard to serve the public good and are even willing to put their own safety and lives at risk to do so. They are heroes. There are some truly atrocious, horrible cops out there who use their badges as licenses to bully, rape, and kill. The good cops need to do a better job of weeding out the bad cops. They accepted responsibility for that. That's what Internal Affairs is supposed to do. They have failed miserably. It's time for a change. And I'd like to see some of those good cops saying, "you know, this isn't working. We need an EXTERNAL, independent organization to handle allegations of misconduct by the police." THAT would impress me. "Blue lives matter" does not.

Dreaming? London! Realistically? Fort Collins, CO. Quite a difference, I realize. London's never going to happen for me, so about Colorado.... I love the western US for the sunshine. I love the mountains, because mountains. My husband is super outdoorsy and would be like a kid in a candy store there. Fort Collins is a fun little town with a good amount of culture and fun things to do for its size. Plus it's very close to Denver. I would love to live in a bigger city, but my husband would prefer a smaller town (kind of funny because it's the opposite of how we grew up. He grew up in a major city, I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma). But Fort Collins seems to kind of offer the best of both worlds, so I think it would be a great fit for us both. And it was the board members here who pointed us to it when I was asking for places where we could possibly relocate! We had visited it briefly many years ago, but we went back this time last year and stayed longer and got to know it, and fell in love with it. Did you have any particular region or other criteria that you would be looking for?

Well, I've used the calculator at the FAFSA website, and it says we won't qualify for any need-based grants or scholarships (that didn't surprise me) and it also gives me a pretty meager amount for loans, which surprises me, but I guess I don't know how that works. IF we send her to a public university in a state where we have residency, AND IF my husband's income stays where it is, we'll be able to pay for everything ourselves without help. But there are no public unis in our state that we want her to attend, so that kind of stinks. And we've talked about relocating, but of course that kind of messes up this whole CC plan, and is probably an argument *against* early graduation (we can continue doing Kolbe regardless of what state we're in, but she can only attend CC for free here). Long story, but there's also a chance hubby is going to be forced into early retirement in 2017, so who knows what will happen then. We may have no choice but to relocate. And our income may change dramatically, changing the amount of aid she would qualify for. So this whole thing is a mess! The more I think about this the more my head hurts! :lol:

Oh, thanks for mentioning this. I just have the 2007 one called "The New Rules of Lifting for Women". It looks like Strong is only $13 at B&N so I'll just go ahead and buy it if it's an improvement. ETA: I misspoke on the price. That $13 is a pre-order for the paperback which won't be available until November. I'm too impatient for that. The hardcover is still less than $20, and that's a lot less than the $100 program I was considering, so not a problem.

It is hard. And I certainly don't mean to sound unsympathetic to parents who are living in the midst of the struggle to stand firm in what they believe while also loving children who believe differently. I think there is a whole spectrum of possible responses to that scenario, and while obviously a lot of them would be different from what I might choose, that doesn't mean I don't respect those choices or have any sympathy for those who make them. But I can't wrap my brain around the practice of shunning. God didn't shun us when we sinned, He became one of us to reconcile with us! So it just seems so completely antithetical to the whole spirit of Christ to me (not to mention our every instinct as parents - every God-given instinct). I don't get it. And I don't think I ever will. By the way, I'm not saying that YOU were ever advocating that. I grew up Jehovah's Witness, so I've seen the fruits of that practice. And it breaks my heart.

I think you answered your own question here: Bingo. That's what that whole speck in your brother's eye thing was about: our first job is to make sure we ourselves are doing the right thing. It isn't our calling to be the world's moral police. It isn't even our job to be our children's moral police once they are grown. But it is, always will be, our job to love them. For me, the whole foundation of my faith is God's unconditional love for us, and desire to reconcile with us. We turned our backs on him and chose sin, but He didn't give up. He loved us so much that He became flesh, He became one of us, lived among us, died horrifically as one of us, and came back to life as one of us so that we could be reconciled with Him. It's like, we turned and walked away from Him, but He ran after us, embraced us, and said "there's nothing you can do that will ever make me stop loving you." That's the whole point of the story. Without that, my faith disintegrates. So how could I possibly ever use my faith as a reason to turn my back on my child? When the whole definition of my faith is a God who loves unconditionally?!? God commanded us to love unconditionally too (love your enemies), but it's hard for us to do so. But we're in luck, because he gave us once instance where it is easy and instinctive to do so: with our children. As parents we have a beautiful opportunity to give the kind of love we have received. I pray that I never waste that opportunity. (edited for a grammar mistake, but there may be more!)

I did not know that! Thanks, Carrie.

My husband hikes with weight, and he uses bags of sand or, believe it or not, kitty litter! He found this bag of kitty litter at Costco that was really compact and heavy. So he bought it for that purpose. We have no cats. :lol: He's also got ziplock baggies full of sand, which he then puts into nylon stuffsacks.

Thank you Laurie, this is a great help! I've been doing bodyweight squats and planks and such, so I'm ready to start adding weight. I think I'll give NROL for Women another look.

Why does it have to be so complicated??? I guess I'd better check with some of the colleges she's looking at about this too. I never imagined that the DE credits wouldn't count! Weird! Thanks for your help!

Wow, is that common? The colleges we've looked at have admissions requirements and applications for transfer students on their websites, so I assumed it was no big deal. Am I assuming incorrectly?

My husband (who incidentally is super encouraging with exercise, an avid exerciser himself, and who will buy me whatever exercise clothing and equipment I want) talked me out of Girls Gone Strong, because he pointed out that there are a number of great weight-lifting books out there for $20 or less each. I'll keep my eyes on the GGS website in case they ever run a special at a reduced price or something, but otherwise, I think I'll pass for now. I actually already own The New Rules of Lifting for Women, so I should use it! I read it, but then never did it. Why? Okay, two percentage points sounded like a lot to me, but maybe it isn't as bad in reality as it is in my head. :) Thanks for the suggestion about Craig's List!

Yet another vote for location.

Has anybody here ever subscribed to FitFusion? My daughter hates going to the gym, and we've been spending a lot of money on a gym membership for her. I'm wondering if she might like FitFusion better. She isn't an enthusiastic exerciser anywhere, but she prefers home and outdoors stuff over the gym. And it's a fraction of the cost of our gym membership, so it seems worth a shot. Slache, thanks again for your help, but I have to admit I'm intimidated by P90X, and I *do* prefer the gym over a home workout. So I think I'm going to hold off on that for now, but keep it in mind for the future (when I'm in better shape - thinking positively here!). One of the employees at the gym yesterday was offering a free, quick body fat percentage test, using one of those bioelectrical impedance devices. I don't know how accurate those are, but I do know what my body fat measured on one of those a year ago, and yesterday's measurement was two percentage points higher. :( I guess that gives me a goal to work toward.

Good point!

Thanks, Slache! I'll exchange the Jawbone tomorrow, and I'll check into P90X more right now. :)

Slache, you are such a help! Thanks for this and all your posts. Two extreme days per week may not cut it for me either, so I need to be prepared for that possibility. I'm fighting middle-aged weight-gain and flabbier, weaker muscles. I feel like I'm falling apart here, and I'm only 42! I want to nip that in the bud NOW. Plus, I had to go on a medication which causes weight gain. I need the medicine, and it's worth it, but that is so not a fun side effect. Maybe I should try P90X! You must be a mindreader because I just bought a Jawbone a few days ago! I'm having some trouble with it, though, so I'm either going to have to contact customer support tomorrow or just exchange it. I think it's faulty. I set a morning alarm on it, and it only worked the first day (though I set it for Mon - Fri). I set the inactivity alert for 15 minutes, and that worked for three days and then stopped, even though my settings in the app still say it's on. It does seem to be counting my steps pretty accurately, but I don't know why those features aren't working. And the inactivity alert was the main reason I bought it. I already had a Misfit that did most of the other stuff, but I wanted something that would remind me to get up a do a few jumping jacks once I've been sitting for a bit. And it's not doing that. :( It must have features that I don't even understand yet, because it sounds like it did a ton of stuff for you! So I need to get this figured out. Thanks again for your help, you are the best! :grouphug:

Maybe it's not something that's covered by the law because it's a judgement call? For me, if the median is wide enough that I won't be blocking traffic while I'm waiting there, then I do it. If it isn't, then I wait until both ways are clear. I've certainly never heard that it's illegal to do that. And I see people doing it all the time. So I hope it it's legal!

I'm not sure that Tony and I will get along. :lol: If I'm understanding the GirlsGoneStrong philosophy, you do a *few* intense workouts (heavy weights and HIIT) each week, a few medium-level workouts (moderate cardio), and as much low-intensity activity as you can incorporate into your life (gentle yoga, walking, etc.) That kind of appeals to me. I know the higher intensity stuff really stimulates your body to change, but I also think it has to be done in moderation in order to avoid injury, adrenal fatigue, etc. And I *know* that I need to simply be more active, be in motion more, and sit less. But I'm still not sure that I want to drop a hundred bucks for their program. I don't know, maybe having invested that much in it will motivate me to put it to good use!

Wow, I am impressed! The first thing I do in the morning is grab my coffee and sit down in front of my computer. I don't stay too long, because the need to cook breakfast for the family gets me up, but still, I could do better. I suppose I could put my coffee in a thermos or travel cup and go for a little stroll around the neighborhood. It wouldn't have to be a vigorous walk, but it would still be better than sitting, wouldn't it? Thanks for sharing this, Sarah, very inspiring!