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Everything posted by Greta

  1. I am aware of that, and I said it was an example. I wasn't attempting to imply that's the proper way to refer to anyone with a PhD. My husband works at a national laboratory, so it's a common phrase there. But I've also heard people referred to as "a PhD" many times, which while maybe not technically great is still preferable to "girl" imo.
  2. While I find it grating that women often get referred to as girls (having grown up in a place where grown white men referred to grown black men but never to each other as "boys" and it was clearly intended to be dismissive and insulting, for me referring to women as girls has the same connotation) I probably wouldn't have called it out in that way. I hate face to face confrontations, but I would probably try to do it face to face non-confrontationally, so as not to leave a written record. I think putting it in writing ups the level of seriousness, and it might put you in an uncomfortable situation if the coworker gets upset about it. That said, however, I do share your frustration and your desire to not let these things pass unchallenged. Language matters.
  3. I think it's relevant because it gave the co-worker an easy and more respectful and more appropriate way to refer to her, but he (or she) chose not to use it. "The postdoc I interviewed," for example, is a phrase I've heard my husband use several times. I've noticed that sometimes women who have earned titles still have to fight to be referred to by those titles, whereas for men, people seem to grant them their titles more naturally.
  4. It is hardly cognitive dissonance to think that there is a difference between legal protections which give a relatively powerless group more power to negotiate with the entity which has power over them, versus the expansion and extension of rights of an already very powerful entity. You may not approve or agree, but that doesn't make it cognitive dissonance.
  5. Personally, I like the tiniest bag I can get away with. So these may not work for you. But I have loved both of these:
  6. No, it's a very harsh phrase to my ears. Just yesterday we were in a store where a mom was repeatedly scolding her boys telling them to shut up over and over and over again, and it was extremely uncomfortable. (In part because she was being a lot more loud and obnoxious than they were! They were just being normal little boys.)
  7. I am very much enjoying the book - you’re a good writer!
  8. Thank you for posting this! It had some names I’m familiar with, and many that are new to me which I look forward to checking out. And thank you for posting this - I watched that documentary last night and I enjoyed it so much! Awhile back I was reading an opinion piece somewhere about how a well-written and insightful article in a magazine for teen girls had been met with utter astonishment because people couldn’t believe that such a frivolous magazine had effectively written such a serious piece. And the point of the editorial was that simply by virtue of the fact that the magazine is aimed at teen girls, it was prejudged and dismissed as “frivolous”. Things that women and girls are interested in are viewed as less important, less serious, less valid than the things that men and boys are interested in. And that made me realize that I had been avoiding romance because it’s “frivolous” even though deep down I wanted to read it! So I’ve been reading it ever since, and I love it, love it, love it!. (Coincidentally, I’m reading one of your books right now! :D )
  9. Recipes are most welcome and appreciated too! I’m particularly looking forward to using it for potatoes but I’m interested in any and all ideas!
  10. I'm hoping for an air fryer for Mother's Day this year. Can anyone recommend a particular brand? Or one(s) to avoid? Thanks!
  11. Oh, yes, I agree! I realize scholarships are harder to get now than they were when I did it, which is exactly what I've told my daughter. But I've still encouraged her to try. There are some excellent scholarships available at our biggest state school with GPA's and SAT scores that are very attainable for dedicated students.
  12. I think most of what comes to my mind has probably already been said (I've only skimmed the replies), but I'll give you my $0.02 anyway, along with lots of hugs and sympathy for an unbelievably stressful situation. First off, have a talk with your 14 year old right now explaining that she's going to need to work hard in high school to get what scholarships she can, and that she's going to need to go to the local community college for her first 2 years (if that's an option where you live) and attend an in-state university, etc*. Fourteen is not too young to have that talk. I was 15 when my parents told me I was on my own and they weren't going to help pay for me to go to college. It made me absolutely determined to do it successfully myself, and it ended up being a very good thing for me. I got a full academic scholarship to the state university of my choice, and I would not have worked hard enough to get that without them telling me "this is on you". Second, I would be extremely hesitant to sell the house in your situation. I think that would cause me more stress than it would relieve. You would be going from earning rental income to paying rental income, and that just doesn't seem like a good long-term strategy. Instead, I would encourage you to try to negotiate with your credit card company (companies?). You actually might be able to work out a lower interest rate with them. Or you might qualify for cards with zero interest for six months, or other offers like that, and can use that time to pay it down as much as you possibly can, or possibly even "move" the debt every six months if you can get another offer like that. I saw you had a really terrible offer from one debt consolidation company, but I would urge you to keep looking because I feel you can surely find something better than that. Third, if I understand correctly, your husband is running three businesses. Is there any possibility that he could sell one or more of those businesses to another local entrepreneur? Or to a hard-working employee of one of those businesses (if he has any) that might want to take over? And then maybe with the time that would free up, he could get a more steady job instead? Obviously not knowing details I don't know how viable an option that is, but I wanted to throw it out there for consideration. * Instead of "etc." I should have said "or whatever advice is appropriate to your situation". It's not that the particular things I listed are what you should say to her, but I meant it more as examples of what I would say to my dd if we were in similar circumstances.
  13. Here's Dr. Greger's video about his Daily Dozen checklist, in case anyone is interested: I use his checklist (and I usually go for the 60 minutes of vigorous exercise rather than the 90 minutes of moderate, just because that was already my habit before I discovered his checklist!). Other habits I am working on are: Meditation. I just started this in January at the advice of my therapist. Her "orders" for the first month were 5 minutes twice a day, and she told me that 5 minutes was a limit, not a minimum. She wanted me to simply establish the habit, and not get overwhelmed by the demand. I think it was a very nice way to gently introduce the practice. She recommended these guided meditations: But, PeachyDoodle, I love your therapist's recommendation about the reminder notes to just breathe! That is brilliant! Reading a little non-fiction every day. Limiting/reducing screen time. Now that the weather is warming up: spending time outside in my yard every morning, watering the plants, listening to the birds. Walking my dog.
  14. I really like that app for the same reason: it helps me focus on all the great things I get to eat each day, and it just kind of naturally pushes not-so-great things out of the diet without the focus being on what I'm missing or avoiding. I think it's a very helpful tool.
  15. I'm glad you posted this, because my mom has IBS. I'm going to let her know that it helped you. I HATE how humongous they make some capsules and tablets! I choose liquids or powders when possible, because I have a very hard time swallowing big pills.
  16. Oh, interesting, I didn't know that. Thanks! Feverfew didn't seem to help me, unfortunately, but I did not know about bromelain!
  17. I take turmeric and ginger to help with my migraines. They both help (I've tested them individually and together. Honestly ginger works best, but turmeric helps too.) I haven't really noticed any other benefits from it, but I'll keep using it, because it works for what I wanted it! I believe there are some contraindications that people should be aware of, though. I've read that people who are on blood thinners, and people with gall or kidney stones should not take it.
  18. Two things convinced me to change my eating habits. The first was the Blue Zone studies which showed that the populations that live the longest eat lots of plant foods, and very little animal foods. The second was Dr. Michael Gregor's book How Not to Die. I went strict vegan to try to make up for the damage that I'd done to my body with 12 years of keto. But strict vegan is probably not necessary for most people. I think for the average person, I would recommend reducing processed foods and fast foods, and making things from scratch at home; and increasing fruits, veggies, legumes, and whole grains while reducing meat and dairy.
  19. I'm sorry that your recovery is going slowly, Jess. I sure hope you feel better soon. :grouphug:
  20. Thank you all so much for the help. I really appreciate every reply. I do intend to ask about organ prolapse, but overall I am feeling much more optimistic about things.
  21. :grouphug: I'm so sorry.
  22. I appreciate you pointing this out, Selkie. My doctor didn't mention this, so I will ask the surgeon about it at the consultation, and do some more reading online as well.
  23. I had wondered about those things specifically, so that's good to hear!
  24. Wow, that would be amazing! I am so glad that happened for her, but I think I probably shouldn't get my hopes up for that. I'll be happy if it at least doesn't make them worse. Thank you!
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