Greta
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Posts posted by Greta
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10 minutes ago, StellaM said:
It's flipping insane to suggest not calling girls (in a girls school!) 'girls'. There is absolutely nothing wrong with addressing female (sorry Greta!) children as 'girls'.
No need to apologize to me -- you used female as an adjective! That gets the Greta Stamp of Approval (for what little that's worth, lol!).
And I think it's crazy that girls "shouldn't" be called girls and women "shouldn't" be called women. These are the appropriate terms for their respective groups! This need to avoid those terms and use terms like "female" (as a noun!) instead absolutely mystifies me.
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21 minutes ago, goldberry said:
I confess that what you are saying here would never even occur to me. I think it sounds awkward and would prefer woman. But it wouldn't even blip on my radar that anyone would be offended.
Well, it’s certainly not the worst thing that women routinely get called! :-) (But yeah, I really hate it. I’d much, much rather be called a girl than a female.)
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45 minutes ago, mytwomonkeys said:
The military (to my knowledge) is very deliberate and intentional in using the word female cadet. Im sure part of it is about stripping identity, as you’re in the military and conformity is really an important aspect of that. A “woman” soldier just doesn’t sound as stripped down as a female soldier. At least that’s my guess as to why they do it.
Oh, thank for for posting this, because I may have completely misunderstood Bluegoat! Female as an adjective (female soldier, female singer, female athlete) is perfectly appropriate and doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Female as a noun in a contex where the person would not use male, THAT is what bugs me. “The guys are in the den watching the game and the females are out back on the patio.” The NFL marketer who made a statement about “the role of the female in the household”. That crap drives me up the wall.
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3 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:
The word “females” bothers you, but you don’t understand the politicalization of the word “women”?
No, I don't understand what is so politicized about the word woman that it should be avoided. I truly don't get it.
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1 hour ago, happysmileylady said:
It feels formal. In a casual setting, I would “that guy I interviewed” as opposed to “that man I interviewed.” So as weird as it would feel to say “that man” that’s why it would feel weird to say “that woman.” It has nothing to do with “woman” as a word...as much as it is about being casual.
Kind of like “boss man” vs “my supervisor.”
Okay, I appreciate your explanation. Personally, neither "the man I interviewed" nor "the woman I interviewed" sound formal to me, they both sound like perfectly normal phrases that one might expect to hear in the workplace. But I guess I'm the odd one out! :-)
ETA: Hmm, in a work email, I would certainly use “my supervisor”and not “the boss man”. And this was a work email that the OP was talking about. In a professional setting, isn’t it generally better to go too formal than it is to go too casual?
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4 minutes ago, Bluegoat said:
Well, it was't meant to be mean, I think it was actually policy or at least how people were trained - it was meant I think to avoid any politicized words.. So "All me to the left showers and females to the right". It just always sounded to me like they were talking about lab subjects.
I am really fine with most things people say, if they aren't jerks. I've known enough people who said "women" in a way that was sleazy to care too much about that.
I'm sure it isn't deliberately or consciously meant to be mean. But it is. If they were consistent about it (males and females) it would be one thing. But in my experience, people aren't consistent about it at all (men and females).
Is the word woman considered "politicized"? I'm not sure I understand that.
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2 hours ago, Bluegoat said:
When I was in the army, women were always called "females" which I never liked, but really, it's not my choice.
Okay, see, I find "girl" annoying in certain contexts, but I find this kind of use of the word "females" absolutely ENRAGING, and I am sorry you were subjected to it. At least if I'm being called a "girl" my humanity is being acknowledged. But "female" could mean a dog, a cow, an ostrich, or a naked mole rat. I am a WOMAN. I really don't understand why so many people are hesitant to use the word woman! I think it's a clear sign of a misogynistic culture when the standard word for an adult female human being is avoided, like it's icky or tainted or something. The coworker could have said "the woman I interviewed" and it would not only have been more accurate and appropriate, there is simply no reason NOT to say that.
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21 minutes ago, regentrude said:
I have never heard people refer to a person with a doctorate as being "a PhD". A PhD is something people have.
Yes, it sounded odd to my ears the first time I heard it. But I've heard it a lot. Seems more accurate to just say "a doctor" but I guess it's to distinguish a PhD from an MD . . . ? Anyway, I apologize for being unclear and getting off track. The point is, coworker could have said "the doctor I interviewed" or "the [job position] candidate I interviewed" or "when I interviewed Dr. Smith..." or any number of things that would have sounded better than "girl".
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1 minute ago, regentrude said:
No, this is not correct. "Postdoc" is not a term that can be used to refer to any person who has completed a doctorate; it is not a synonym for "holder of a doctorate" but refers to a specific academic position. In most fields of industry it would not be an appropriate term to refer to the person.
I am aware of that, and I said it was an example. I wasn't attempting to imply that's the proper way to refer to anyone with a PhD. My husband works at a national laboratory, so it's a common phrase there. But I've also heard people referred to as "a PhD" many times, which while maybe not technically great is still preferable to "girl" imo.
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While I find it grating that women often get referred to as girls (having grown up in a place where grown white men referred to grown black men but never to each other as "boys" and it was clearly intended to be dismissive and insulting, for me referring to women as girls has the same connotation) I probably wouldn't have called it out in that way. I hate face to face confrontations, but I would probably try to do it face to face non-confrontationally, so as not to leave a written record. I think putting it in writing ups the level of seriousness, and it might put you in an uncomfortable situation if the coworker gets upset about it. That said, however, I do share your frustration and your desire to not let these things pass unchallenged. Language matters.
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2 hours ago, marbel said:
T
I'm not sure what the woman's educational level had to do with it. It almost sounds as if you wouldn't have been bothered if she'd been a high-school graduate. I'm not being snarky, just honest in my opinion.
1 hour ago, marbel said:I'm not picking on you, but I've noticed this in a few posts and I'm going to ask again (not specifically you, Mommyof1):
Why is her educational level important here?
Is it upsetting to have an adult woman called a girl, or just a highly-educated adult woman? Is it OK to call a 40-year-old receptionist with a high-school diploma (and no more) a "girl?"
What am I missing here?
I think it's relevant because it gave the co-worker an easy and more respectful and more appropriate way to refer to her, but he (or she) chose not to use it. "The postdoc I interviewed," for example, is a phrase I've heard my husband use several times. I've noticed that sometimes women who have earned titles still have to fight to be referred to by those titles, whereas for men, people seem to grant them their titles more naturally.
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Personally, I like the tiniest bag I can get away with. So these may not work for you. But I have loved both of these:
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2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:
I'm so glad you liked the movie! I loved it, and yes, so often people equate for women with less important. And yay, hope you like the book :)
I am very much enjoying the book - you’re a good writer!
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On 4/17/2018 at 12:09 PM, hornblower said:
One booklist you might want to check out is https://bookriot.com/2017/12/12/feminist-romance-novels-from-romancenovelsforhillary/
(& the twitter hashtag romancenovelsforhillary )Thank you for posting this! It had some names I’m familiar with, and many that are new to me which I look forward to checking out.
On 4/17/2018 at 4:29 PM, Ktgrok said:Romance is a feminist genre :)
It's for women, by women, and about women. It's such an incredible world, honestly. Even my editors are women :)
This movie is EXCELLENT and dives into those issues, and honestly even if a person didn't like books at all it's a fun watch just for the "women helping women" vibe it has. I highly recommend it. https://www.netflix.com/title/80061315
This article deals with the issue as well, but warning, the source has rude language https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/the-case-for-romance-authors
And thank you for posting this - I watched that documentary last night and I enjoyed it so much! Awhile back I was reading an opinion piece somewhere about how a well-written and insightful article in a magazine for teen girls had been met with utter astonishment because people couldn’t believe that such a frivolous magazine had effectively written such a serious piece. And the point of the editorial was that simply by virtue of the fact that the magazine is aimed at teen girls, it was prejudged and dismissed as “frivolous”. Things that women and girls are interested in are viewed as less important, less serious, less valid than the things that men and boys are interested in. And that made me realize that I had been avoiding romance because it’s “frivolous” even though deep down I wanted to read it! So I’ve been reading it ever since, and I love it, love it, love it!. (Coincidentally, I’m reading one of your books right now! :D )
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1 hour ago, Angie in VA said:
I am not at home now, so I can't post the brand, but we got one deeply discounted b/c the box was torn up. I like it fine, but don't keep out so I don't use it as much as I'd like to.
OP, do you prefer a separate thread for recipes/things to make in an air fryer? I don't want to hijack your thread.
I have mostly made sweet potato french fries (store bought, frozen) and kale chips in ours.
Recipes are most welcome and appreciated too! I’m particularly looking forward to using it for potatoes but I’m interested in any and all ideas!
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I'm hoping for an air fryer for Mother's Day this year. Can anyone recommend a particular brand? Or one(s) to avoid?
Thanks!
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2 hours ago, katilac said:
I agree that a college talk is needed, but I would not couch it in terms of having to work hard to get scholarships. Kids can work hard all day long and still not get scholarships. Potential scholarships can be (should be) part of the long-term discussion, but you have to be careful not to present it as "if you work hard enough, you will get scholarships" because that is definitely not a certainty or even a probability.
Oh, yes, I agree! I realize scholarships are harder to get now than they were when I did it, which is exactly what I've told my daughter. But I've still encouraged her to try. There are some excellent scholarships available at our biggest state school with GPA's and SAT scores that are very attainable for dedicated students.
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I think most of what comes to my mind has probably already been said (I've only skimmed the replies), but I'll give you my $0.02 anyway, along with lots of hugs and sympathy for an unbelievably stressful situation.
First off, have a talk with your 14 year old right now explaining that she's going to need to work hard in high school to get what scholarships she can, and that she's going to need to go to the local community college for her first 2 years (if that's an option where you live) and attend an in-state university, etc*. Fourteen is not too young to have that talk. I was 15 when my parents told me I was on my own and they weren't going to help pay for me to go to college. It made me absolutely determined to do it successfully myself, and it ended up being a very good thing for me. I got a full academic scholarship to the state university of my choice, and I would not have worked hard enough to get that without them telling me "this is on you".
Second, I would be extremely hesitant to sell the house in your situation. I think that would cause me more stress than it would relieve. You would be going from earning rental income to paying rental income, and that just doesn't seem like a good long-term strategy. Instead, I would encourage you to try to negotiate with your credit card company (companies?). You actually might be able to work out a lower interest rate with them. Or you might qualify for cards with zero interest for six months, or other offers like that, and can use that time to pay it down as much as you possibly can, or possibly even "move" the debt every six months if you can get another offer like that. I saw you had a really terrible offer from one debt consolidation company, but I would urge you to keep looking because I feel you can surely find something better than that.
Third, if I understand correctly, your husband is running three businesses. Is there any possibility that he could sell one or more of those businesses to another local entrepreneur? Or to a hard-working employee of one of those businesses (if he has any) that might want to take over? And then maybe with the time that would free up, he could get a more steady job instead? Obviously not knowing details I don't know how viable an option that is, but I wanted to throw it out there for consideration.
* Instead of "etc." I should have said "or whatever advice is appropriate to your situation". It's not that the particular things I listed are what you should say to her, but I meant it more as examples of what I would say to my dd if we were in similar circumstances.
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Here's Dr. Greger's video about his Daily Dozen checklist, in case anyone is interested: https://nutritionfacts.org/video/dr-gregers-daily-dozen-checklist-2/
I use his checklist (and I usually go for the 60 minutes of vigorous exercise rather than the 90 minutes of moderate, just because that was already my habit before I discovered his checklist!).
Other habits I am working on are:
Meditation. I just started this in January at the advice of my therapist. Her "orders" for the first month were 5 minutes twice a day, and she told me that 5 minutes was a limit, not a minimum. She wanted me to simply establish the habit, and not get overwhelmed by the demand. I think it was a very nice way to gently introduce the practice. She recommended these guided meditations: http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations But, PeachyDoodle, I love your therapist's recommendation about the reminder notes to just breathe! That is brilliant!
Reading a little non-fiction every day.
Limiting/reducing screen time.
Now that the weather is warming up: spending time outside in my yard every morning, watering the plants, listening to the birds.
Walking my dog.
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On 4/12/2018 at 4:06 PM, Paige said:
What I liked about Dr Greger's book was that it told me what to eat and not just what not to eat. I have his app on my phone and try to eat as much of the good things on his list a day that I can and don't really pay attention to what not to eat. It's super easy and simple and I work well with check lists. I've been consciously avoiding meat and minimizing dairy but if DH or other family members make lasagna or something else with meat and cheese I will eat it and not care. It's no big deal. By focusing on fitting in all the good foods, however, I find I'm naturally eating less of the foods that aren't as good for me because I'm full and there's not that much time in the day.
I really like that app for the same reason: it helps me focus on all the great things I get to eat each day, and it just kind of naturally pushes not-so-great things out of the diet without the focus being on what I'm missing or avoiding. I think it's a very helpful tool.
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16 hours ago, IfIOnly said:
Oops, I forgot something else that's improved. Warning, TMI ahead.
I have IBS and caffeine especially sends me running to the bathroom. I get pain and cramping followed by loose stool not long after drinking the caffeine whether it's soda, coffee, or tea. Large amounts of chocolate mess with me too. Since starting the turmeric, I may have a cramp or two after the caffeine but do not need to use the restroom anymore. So, that's great. Maybe it'll get even better over time.
I'm glad you posted this, because my mom has IBS. I'm going to let her know that it helped you.
10 hours ago, dsmith said:My uncle has had good results, as well as a few friends of his. I went to the health food store to buy some, and when I got home realized there was no way I could swallow the darn capsules. They are huge!! I have melted capsules into a cup of bone broth, but not consistently enough to say I feel a difference. I'm too irritated to find myself a smaller capsule at the moment. I still have 25 of these to go and they were expensive, so I'm going to finish them if it kills me, lol.
I HATE how humongous they make some capsules and tablets! I choose liquids or powders when possible, because I have a very hard time swallowing big pills.
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2 hours ago, IfIOnly said:
I think diabetics need to be careful as well to monitor blood sugars while supplementing. I've read reviews that turmeric has helped people lower or no longer need their insulin meds. On the flip side, those with low blood sugar/hypoglycemia need to be careful as well.
Oh, interesting, I didn't know that.
40 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:Greta--if you are responding to ginger, you might also try bromelain (pineapple) and feverfew. Just a heads up from my personal adventures in herbalism.
Thanks! Feverfew didn't seem to help me, unfortunately, but I did not know about bromelain!
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I take turmeric and ginger to help with my migraines. They both help (I've tested them individually and together. Honestly ginger works best, but turmeric helps too.) I haven't really noticed any other benefits from it, but I'll keep using it, because it works for what I wanted it!
I believe there are some contraindications that people should be aware of, though. I've read that people who are on blood thinners, and people with gall or kidney stones should not take it.
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Two things convinced me to change my eating habits. The first was the Blue Zone studies which showed that the populations that live the longest eat lots of plant foods, and very little animal foods. The second was Dr. Michael Gregor's book How Not to Die. I went strict vegan to try to make up for the damage that I'd done to my body with 12 years of keto. But strict vegan is probably not necessary for most people. I think for the average person, I would recommend reducing processed foods and fast foods, and making things from scratch at home; and increasing fruits, veggies, legumes, and whole grains while reducing meat and dairy.
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She's 18!
in The Chat Board
Posted
Happy Birthday to your daughter! My only is also 18, and we'll be finishing our homeschooling journey next week. I don't have as many years of homeschooling under my belt as you do, but I have homeschooled her all the way through, since kindergarten. I can't believe it's almost over!
I'm not ready for this chapter of our lives to end!