I haven't had time to listen to the podcast (yet, I hope to at some point) so I'm not clear on the particulars of the situation. But I can tell you that at the times in my life when I was uncomfortable with a man who was clearly pushing boundaries, I was very much afraid that reacting strongly on my part would escalate the situation. When you're dealing with someone who is stronger than you and who is physically capable of overpowering you, there is a very real possibility that a "**** off!" or a slap across the face will turn an inappropriate situation into an outright dangerous one. Don't poke the bear, you know? I'm not talking about situations where I had to actually physically defend myself (I've never been in such a situation, thank God) but situations where I was afraid it might turn into that. And I knew that if it did turn into that, I could not win. So I tried to keep it from going that direction by evasion instead of direct confrontation. I didn't (and still don't) have any martial arts training. Perhaps I would have handled things differently if I had. Perhaps I wouldn't have. It really depends on so many factors. It is a delicate and tricky conversation to discuss how women can better protect and defend ourselves without it coming across like this stuff is women's responsibility, or to sound like victim-blaming. But I think it's a conversation worth having, so I hope that it will continue.

Thank you for this! I just went vegan in August, but my husband and daughter are still omni. I can get them to eat vegan dinners with me three nights a week, but they still want meat (hubby especially) the other four. So this is a huge help! Hubby really likes meat substitutes. I don't really feel like I "need" them personally (I'm quite happy with veggies, rice, potatoes, beans, etc.) but I'm happy to eat them when he wants them. So thank you, OP, for starting this thread, because I'd never heard of soy curls! We've tried Beyond Meat and several varieties of veggie burgers, and we like those. I tried jackfruit once but it gave me a terrible migraine (that's just me, I'm sure it wouldn't do that to most people!) which was a bummer because I really liked the taste and texture. So, I'll definitely have to look for soy curls the next time I'm at Sprouts or Whole Foods. Thanks!

I agree. That article that you linked referred to legalized prostitution as “commercialized rape†and I think that’s true. And if 88% of porn depicts violence and aggression, then that’s basically commercialized rape too. And when that becomes universally available and widely consumed, of course it is going to bleed over into public life and threaten women’s roles and our very safety. How could it not?

Yes, using the cannabis example, when I was younger I was very pro-legalization. But there were taboos in place, in my mind and in society, that are now breaking down. My feelings on that issue are far more complex now. I think that people do get the idea that if something is legal, then it's basically okay, benign, not really a big deal. Perhaps because in an increasingly secular culture, we look more to the law and less to religion and history for our mores? Well said.

Both of those articles were good, and the latter one included some good links as well. This topic is thoroughly depressing. My very innocent 18yo daughter is doing math homework with her dad right now, and I'm just trying not to panic about what her future holds. I always thought that my generation had it sooooo much better than my grandmothers' generation, because we didn't have to put up with as much overt chauvinism and discrimination as they did. But I never imagined that my daughter's generation would have to survive the kind of misogyny that is now spreading through our culture like the black plague. It makes me just want to hide her away from the world. (I don't mean that literally, of course, I'm just whining. Because I'm scared.)

Well that’s a very different picture than what was painted for me (friend of a friend kind of thing, I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone personally who has done that). That’s too bad, but I suppose not surprising. :( That is very telling, isn’t it, that women don’t own or manage the clubs.

Thanks, I’ll try that one!

Oh, then I agree! (ETA and I’m sorry I misunderstood you.) It’s not a subject I’ve researched, but I’ve certainly gotten the impression that stripping is far, FAR safer for women than prostitution or porn. And I’ve even heard that their median income is much higher, though they are selling “lessâ€. I find that interesting.

No. Countries with legalized prostitution are associated with higher human trafficking inflows than countries where prostitution is prohibited. The scale effect of legalizing prostitution, i.e. expansion of the market, outweighs the substitution effect, where legal sex workers are favored over illegal workers. On average, countries with legalized prostitution report a greater incidence of human trafficking inflows. Criminalization of prostitution in Sweden resulted in the shrinking of the prostitution market and the decline of human trafficking inflows. Cross-country comparisons of Sweden with Denmark (where prostitution is decriminalized) and Germany (expanded legalization of prostitution) are consistent with the quantitative analysis, showing that trafficking inflows decreased with criminalization and increased with legalization. From: https://journalistsresource.org/studies/international/human-rights/legalized-prostitution-human-trafficking-inflows This source also says that legalization markedly increases the occurrence of prostitution, legalization does not reduce the rates of murder and violence against prostitutes, and legalization does not change the typical power dynamic between the buyers (educated and financially well-off) and the providers (uneducated and poor). As to the question in bold, we should not automatically believe the claims of anyone trying to sell us a product. Maybe their claims are true, but maybe they aren't. I sincerely hope that their claims are true. But personally, I'm just not willing to risk it in this particular case, because the benefit to me is vastly outweighed by the potential harm to others. For others who do choose to be porn consumers, it is my profound wish that they will at least try to seek out ethically produced materials. As to the question in blue, I do accept that one genre is preferable to another, and I specifically stated that I would like to see revenge porn and porn that depicts violence disappear. I have no idea how to make that happen, though.

The fact that there is so little regulation of the porn industry, a multi-billion dollar industry, so little enforcement of what regulation there is, so little research done about the effects of that "work" on the "workers", and so little research done about the effects of the industry on society at large, all of that leads me to believe that rate of abuse and exploitation is so high, that that's where the focus needs to be, not on the relatively small percentage of ethically-produced porn (assuming such a thing exists at all). That's what I was trying to convey by saying "negligible". I agree with you, though, that porn isn't going anywhere. I think that there should be better protections for the actors in the industry. I think that there should be better safeguards in place to protect minors from porn exposure. I think that we need to crack down on revenge porn. I think that the violence and aggression towards women that is depicted in porn needs to stop. But I don't see any of those things happening. Money talks, and money + misogyny has, sadly, always been a winning combination.

But the reason The Rock was chosen and not Jimmy Fallon is that The Rock is near an extreme end of the physical spectrum, the end that's capable of pounding most of the rest of us into dust if he chose to do so. I choose not to watch porn for the exact reason I cited: as a consumer, I have no way of knowing if the people being depicted are there of their own free will or if they were coerced, manipulated, or even forced. That is completely unacceptable to me. I will not support such an industry. I do enjoy steamy romance novels and occasionally* even outright erotica, because no one gets harmed in the making of a book. I follow the industry enough to know about stories like the one I linked to. ETA: Also, I am morally opposed to prostitution, for the same basic reason: most prostitutes were coerced, manipulated, or even forced into it. Prostitution, in most places in the US, is illegal, and generally regarded as immoral. Why does prostitution become okay when it's filmed and distributed? There are other reasons that I'm against porn and prostitution, but the primary one is the treatment of the women involved. * I think I've read two novels classified as erotica in my entire life. lol So, "rarely" probably would have been a better word. But I do like romance novels, and read them fairly often.

But wasn't that the whole point of that thing about treating everyone like The Rock? Only treat people with respect if they can beat the crap out of you? There's no inherent reason to treat a 4'11" 98-pound woman with respect, so you have to pretend she's a gigantic man in order to do so?

Oh, I think it's possible. It's just not reality. As Sandwalker pointed out, consumers have no way of knowing if what they are watching involved true and free consent or not. This story made headlines and involved lawsuits. How much more rape and assault goes on in porn that never gets reported? How much more porn than that involves coercion and exploitation, if not outright rape? Too much. Far too much. I suspect that the tiny percentage of women who are there giving true and free consent is so small as to be negligible.

Thanks! I have a couple of Panache bras but I've never tried their sports bras.

I don't know if you checked out the link that Sadie provided, but this article talks about Erika Lust specifically. https://www.culturereframed.org/links-between-the-handmaids-tale-and-porn/

I’m so glad to know that an organization like this exists. Thank you so much for posting this!

As little faith as I have in the police to handle rape cases properly, and believe me that’s very little, I guess I’m even more skeptical about institutions who have a vested interest in protecting their image and/or income, and in pretending it never happened. (Edited for grammar)

But it's not an either/or choice, is it?

Gotcha. Thanks, Katy!

So do I! I feel like a good bra offers lift and support, while a sports bra just smashes them against your chest. :lol: I don't wear them any longer than I have to. But if I'm buying the wrong kind, someone please educate me!

Oh, it's fine. I don't actually do yoga anyway. :lol: I mentioned that only because the OP had mentioned it. But basically they are more flexible and give you more freedom of movement than a "standard" constructed pant with a zipper, though they pretty much look like a standard pant, right?

Wow, do those give you enough freedom of movement for things like yoga? They look like ordinary pants! Might have to try those.

Maybe something like these? https://www.titlenine.com/product/copenhagen-pant-regular-212003.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=&from=fn https://www.titlenine.com/product/long-sleeve-samba-v-t-shirt-solid-452510.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=&from=fn

I love the bosque! So beautiful. I live in the foothills, which is beautiful too, in a very different way. If places can have "signature scents" then New Mexico's is definitely the roasting chile that's in the air in the late summer and fall. I love that smell. First of all because it means good food. And secondly because it means an end to the long, hot summer! :D When I lived in upstate NY, I thought the signature scent there was the lilacs. That fragrance would absolutely fill the air in the spring, marking a blessed end to the long, dreary, gray, cloudy, oppressive winters. (I've gotten quite spoiled to all of this NM sunshine!)

The new policy still seems perfectly generous to me. I've never understood the need for an unlimited return policy - it's just too easy to abuse. I used to work at a small retail clothing chain that had that policy. People would literally wear the clothes for ten or twelve years, and then return them for a full refund. Ridiculous.