They’ve already been mentioned but I’ll give an additional vote for Jane the Virgin, New Girl, and The Good Place. I’m going to look into some of the other suggestions. Great thread.

And I’m crying now, which is lovely because you are all so lovely! I truly can’t thank you all enough for the kindness, the prayers, and the shared joy!

Thank you all! I really do appreciate the warm welcome back. It's so nice to be here. My avatar pic is a quick pencil sketch that my daughter did of me quite a number of years ago now. Let's all just pretend that I still have the long, thick hair that I did when she drew that, okay? 🤣

Hello, all of you dear wonderful people whom I have missed so much! Since it has been so very long, I wanted to check and let you know that I am still around, and doing exceptionally well considering my circumstances. For those who are new and don't know what I'm talking about, or don't remember the details, in August of 2018 I got a most unexpected diagnosis: lung cancer, stage 4, terminal. It was a complete shock because I was in pretty good health except for a mild but persistent cough. I'd never smoked a cigarette, been around second-hand smoke, or worked around volatile chemicals; and our home tested negative for radon. But by the time I experienced that first symptom, the cancer had already spread to my bones (vertebrae, hip, shoulder) and brain - multiple lesions in every part of my brain, so many they didn't bother to count. Over the course of just a few days, I went from planning vacations and home improvements and retirement to planning my funeral and writing goodbye letters to all my loved ones. My oncologist said that the average life expectancy after a diagnosis like mine was 12 months, but it could be anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. Now here we are, about 19 months later, and I'm doing better than we could have hoped. My first course of treatment was radiation to my brain, and then I started chemotherapy and immune therapy. The first four months or so I had to be on a fairly unpleasant chemo drug, but now I am on a milder one. I receive it and an immune therapy drug every three weeks, indefinitely. And the treatment is working! My last brain scan showed only one lesion left! Just one! And my last body scan showed that the tumors in my bones are all either stable or shrinking, and the big nasty one in my lung that started it all is shrinking. None of that is to say that I'm on my way to remission. Unfortunately, that is not something I can expect. My care is palliative, not curative, but it is giving me more time, and my quality of life is very good because I have had few complications or side-effects. And the complications and side-effects that I've had have been very tolerable, though I admit I can get grumpy and frustrated at times. When that happens, I try very hard to remind myself that at least I don't have to have a pleural catheter anymore - I hope that none of you even know what that means, just trust me, it isn't pretty! 😂 Truly, I have been so incredibly blessed and fortunate, in my life in general, and through this illness as well. My husband and I are closer than ever. My daughter is living at home, for which I am so glad, and attending her second year of university. My mother came and cared for me during the worst times, in the way that only a mother can. So many friends and family members have reached out to me in kindness and generosity. And Christ has been my rock and my comfort. My sanity, in fact. Though I have certainly done nothing to deserve any of this, I am blessed beyond measure. I know I am not the only board member here who is suffering with cancer or other illness, so I feel awkward that I've made this all about me. But I wanted to give you all and update, and I'm going to browse the boards and look for updates on all of you. I sincerely hope that those who are sick are finding healing and comfort, and that all of you are staying as protected and safe as possible in the midst of this pandemic. With much love, Greta

I agree with you completely. We recently lost a very sweet, beloved dog to brain cancer. They deduced that it was brain cancer based on symptoms (and I saw two different vets for this to be more confident about the diagnosis). They also offered an MRI to be certain of the diagnosis, and treatment options to extend life. We decided instead to pass on both the MRI and the cancer treatment, and to put him on prednisone to reduce inflammation and make him as comfortable as possible for the time he had left. I won't lie, finances were part of that decision. His treatment was going to cost about what a year of my daughter's college expenses cost, and that was just unreasonable for us. But it wasn't just that. It was also a quality of life issue. We did not want to put him through the trauma of treatment. He got to spend his last few months at home with his family where he was happy, rather than frightened and uncomfortable in vets' offices. He passed away peacefully in his sleep here at home. We have no regrets about our decision. And the vets who treated him were all supportive and understanding of that decision. Different vets have different philosophies about this sort of thing, and that is of course understandable. But your vet needs to respect your decision. I hope that she will stop pressuring you, but if not, it might be time to look for a different vet. And a second opinion might put your husband's mind at ease too. Just a thought.

Thanks, I'll check.

Oh, I didn't even think about whether the shelter could still "list" her as available even while we still have her. Great suggestion, I will find out today. And I'll look into Petfinder too. Thank you!

It is the city shelter, and it is a kill shelter, but they said they only euthanize in the event of either untreatable medical problems or behavior problems so extreme that adoption is not possible. Since she would be a *wonderful* dog in a situation where she's the only dog, I don't think she falls into that "adoption is not possible" category at all. So I think they could find her a better home, and I would certainly be open to the possibility of fostering her in the meantime. We've been keeping them separated except when supervised by at least two of us, and it seems to be working alright. (Though it's not something I would want to do for YEARS to come, it would be fine temporarily.) To be honest, my husband is such a big softy when it comes to dogs that I don't think he's up to the level of training required here. He would disagree, but that's my opinion. It's more like our dogs have him trained to give biscuits on command and do what they want! And under normal circumstances I would be willing to try (and I'm the one who is home all day, so it could work), but I've developed a medical condition that is probably going to be more ongoing and serious than I originally thought, and it looks like the next few months are going to be full of doctor's appointments and unpleasant outpatient procedures and me being in a generally weakened/distracted/worried state. Probably not the best time to have adopted any dog, but definitely not one with a behavioral problem. And if this is a common breed trait, then that makes me think I'm not up to training it out of her anyway. It's very hard to train against a dog's nature/instincts. I'm sure that professionals can do that, but I'm not sure I have either the time or the money that would require right now. The shelter said that we have 30 days to return her. So I could take that time to try to find her a better home. And I'm going to have to make it clear to my husband that it just isn't worth risking the safety, health, and lives of our other dogs.

Thank you all so much for the replies. I did the psychological work of accepting that we have to take this dog back (couldn't actually do it yet because of some medical issues of my own, but could potentially do it today), and now my husband is fighting me on this, saying that she's trainable and we can't take her back to that place. ?

I asked my husband, because he's been there. He said it's not a place you want to be in summer. Go in the spring or fall. And if you are really into mountain biking, four-wheeling, rafting, hiking, and/or rock climbing, then yes it is absolutely a great destination.

Thank you, Pawz4me. I was hoping that you would reply because, though I don't remember the particulars of your background, I was thinking you had a lot of experience with dogs. What you said about the "honeymoon period" was something that I had wondered about. Our little chihuahua mix, for example, can be a bit feisty and ornery at times. But the first couple of weeks she was here you never would have guessed it! She was a perfect little angel. So I was thinking that if this is the new dog's behavior when she's timid and unsure and still trying to learn how things work here, she may end up completely unmanageable when she's more comfortable and confident. It really is too bad. I've never had to take a dog to the shelter before for any reason. It's going to be hard.

Oh, that's just awful. I'm so sorry that happened, but I do appreciate you being honest with me. Since I last posted, I discovered that the little dog (chihuahua mix), who ironically is the more bold and fearless of our two old girls, was hanging out in the laundry room, looking longingly into the main part of the house like she was afraid to come in. I've got the new dog confined to the dining room/kitchen right now, so that little dog could come back into the house, but you're right, that's just not do-able for very long. It's looking increasingly like this situation is just not tenable, and she needs a different home. No young children, but you're certainly right that it could be an unsafe situation for them too.

She's really super sweet . . . with people. I think she would be a wonderful dog for a family where she's the only dog (or perhaps like you said, the only female dog if that's her problem). It breaks my heart to think about taking her back to the shelter, but it might be necessary for the safety of our dogs, and if the right family adopts her, she might end up happier that way too. Doesn't mean I won't cry like a big ol' baby, but... my first obligation is to the dogs we already had. Thank you ALL for the help! I'll talk to my hubby about it more tonight, and we'll see how things go for awhile longer before we make a decision, I suspect.

Yes, we have several doggie “gates” installed in our house, so we can keep them separated.