I didn't read all the replies yet, so I may be reiterating here...but in my psych class I just took last semester, it said in my book that there are studies out there suggesting that boys with older brothers have a higher likelihood of being gay. It didn't really say if just having one older brother made a difference, or having many older brothers meant more of a chance. This is interesting to me, as I have five boys. My 2nd oldest is only 9 now, but my husband and I have discussed in private that it seems he's already showing tendencies. I'm interested to read this thread. I do know that I have a personal friend who has a transgendered child. Her son starting having severe depression issues at a very young age - around 4 or 5 yrs old I want to say? He would say he hated being a boy-that he wasn't a boy. Once he tried to cut off his penis. She took him to specialists and child psychologists. The final diagnosis was her son has Gender Identity Disorder. The best thing she could do for him was to let him be a girl. So she did. Everything about her son is girly now...and she's very girly. :) She is also very happy. The mom has a blog about it if anyone is interested. She made the blog with the intent to educate.

Wow sounds like you had a great hospital! Mine wasn't bad - not as bad as other's I've heard. Yikes. There was great breastfeeding support - no bottles or pacifiers even given to my babies at all (I've had all five in a hospital). And there is even a lactation consultant that works in the postpartum unit to help nursing moms. However the nurses are all well-versed in breastfeeding and will do a good job helping with basic latch issues. If they can't solve it though, they call for the lactation consultant. :) However we JUST this year finally got rid of the nursery. Before then the babies would mostly be in mom's room, but would go to the nursery if she wanted the baby to or if the nurses thought mom needed to sleep. My babies always stayed in my room though. I think once they kept one of my babies for a couple hours after his hearing test to let me get a quick nap. They brought him to me as soon as he started fussing and wanted to eat though. Now though, my hospital doesn't even have a nursery. ALL babies must room in with mom. :) We also have room service like meals. We have a menu in which we call the number and order what we want when we want to eat. Its soooo great. I was nervous the first time and just ordered a small amount, I didn't want to be a pig! lol The lady on the other end said "is that all you want? New moms usually order a lot more!" lol. The rooms are pretty standard though. Uncomfortable bed, annoying TV that you have to just push one button to go through all the channels (so if you miss one you have to keep going through them all to come back to it. lol) In fact they used to be mostly shared rooms (AAACK!) until just this year when the new rooms were upgraded and made only private. YESSS Even my Dh can stay the night now! :) I am using a midwife but she only delivers in the hospital - so I get all the same care, even using an epidural if I want. :) She can even assist with c-sections. I considered the birthing center, which was not connected to the hospital and which you'd have to go home after about 2-4 hrs after having the baby. The idea of not having to sleep in that uncomfortable hospital bed for 1-2 nights was nice. As well as not having nurses come in every couple hours and take the baby's or my temp - usually waking him up and me getting VERY little sleep... lol But I do like being away from home (I have five rowdy boys) for a couple days and getting food brought to me during that time (and not feeling the least bit guilty about it!). I also like having baby closely monitored incase something DOES go wrong that I'm not trained to catch or notice.

As a mother to five boys - I've seen what boys (or most boys, some boys...I don't want to make a generalization lol) are capable of. Once my 7 yr old put the cat in the dryer to make his friends laugh. Thankfully the friends didn't think it was very funny and I was told right away before the cat got hurt. uggh! BB guns can be dangerous - they do hurt, to people and to animals. A child should never use a BB gun without adult supervision. It says that right on the package. Even if the XH got him the gun, he shouldn't be using it out in the backyard alone. If my sons' got a BB gun as a gift, it would be put up and they'd have to ask permission to use it in which I'd have to supervise them at that time. We do have a BB gun actually. We take it camping with us. The boys are only allowed to use it when DH is right there with them, and my oldest is 12. They are taught right away proper gun safety and respect for it. My sons are also in Scouts and to get their shooting badge they had to show proper use of a BB gun. They were even required to wear eye protection and follow all the safe techniques such as not pointing it towards people (always towards the ground when not aiming), keeping the safety on when not aiming, etc. Anyway, my point is (long time getting there lol) a BB gun is not just a toy. It really should be treated as a weapon and the child should learn proper safety rules. For the whole dog issue, it was totally unacceptable to shoot the neighbor's dog...but we have big rules here that NO animal (from a chipmunk to a bird and so on) should be shot with a gun (unless they plan on eating it!). You bet I have my sons watch episodes of Animal Cops to show them what animal cruelty looks like and how animals hurt and suffer just like we do. :( The best course of action here I think would be to have your son apologize himself to the neighbor (he's the one that did it afterall), and you should apologize for your initial reaction as well and let the neighbor know what your son's consequence would be. For me I would be taking the gun away - not sending it back to dad's house ,but taking it away. Maybe its special to him because his dad got it for him, fine you don't have to destroy it. But I'd be putting it up, hiding it, until he's a few years older and shows more responsibility. I really like the idea of another poster's that he should volunteer to help at an animal shelter, or walking dogs, scooping dog poop...something with animals. I hope this doesn't come off as attacking...I really do just want to help.

I think there are real reasons to be offended by certain questions - such as if a woman has a history of infertility it can be upsetting to be asked when they are going to get pregnant again...etc. However, I don't get why "are you having more kids" is offensive to most people. Perhaps it depends on the tone. I ask that question often to my friends, women I know. I ask it because I just love kids and I think having new babies is so exciting. I just ask because I'm curious if they are done having kids or if they are planning more. When someone asks me if we're going to have any more children, it doesn't bother me as long as they aren't being rude or condescending about it. If they are honestly asking and happy for us regardless if we have more or not...then I'm happy to answer. If I feel they are mocking me then my answer is pretty vague, such as "I guess we'll just have to wait and see!" I also don't mind when people ask me if we'd like a girl with this pregnancy. Or if we were trying for a girl, etc. After TONS of those type of questions it does get a bit old, but I just give the same answer everytime to avoid having to come up with new ways to say it. lol What I don't like are the condescending questions that are said to make fun of our large family, or show the person's disapproval in large families. uggh SUch as..."Are you crazy?" or "What are you thinking?" Or "How are you going to handle a new baby?" and so on...those can get pretty offensive.

I think the reasons behind why words are spelled a certain way is important...it helps with spelling issues later on. Also, I try to pick spelling programs that incorporate vocab also. However, there are ways to help with spelling and vocab without a separate spelling program. For example, in the child's reading you could pick out 20 words that they are not familiar with and have them define them and do a little spelling test at the week, etc. Just one example. I know there are a lot of spell checking programs everywhere now...but I think its so important to be a good speller. Too much kids these days I see on Facebook, etc. who are NOT good at spelling.

OMG The interet just ate my entire post just as I was about to push send. It has been one of those days. Beyond frustrated. So you're not going to get the full version, probably better for you. And my witty humor is gone. Now the angry frustrated version of me is left. :glare: The short of it is that I need help brainstorming how to better organize my children's daily work and completed work. We're going into our second year and last year's method didn't work very well. The children also go to an ALE program for classes and are required to report once a week on what they did the previous week on a different subject each week, so one week it may be math, the next week language arts. Science, history, etc etc we don't have to report on. Whew. I was thinking of a binder idea with the week's work in it, that stays in the binder, somehow, when they complete it so that when I grade the binders I can take out all the week's completed work and put it into a folder for that week/subject to show at the weekly progress meeting. And then maybe I'd have a folder of weeks already prepared with copies/torn out pages to stick straight into the binder for the next week. I have a lot of ideas bouncing around my head however, and none of them are quite making sense. I also only have 8 days before school starts...so I don't have tons of time to research a whole new organizational system. I know that I want to keep things more planned/prepared then I did last year...especially with a new baby coming in the spring. I also want a fairly simple system that will be easy to get going. I don't want to deal with stacks of completed work in an inbox again like we did last year...I'd rather just grade completed folders at the end of the week or something like that. I just don't exactly know what I want, and that's the problem. lol So...please help? :001_huh: Thanks! :)

I have to submit a learning plan by MONDAY (yeah I put it off until the last minute lol). Well my son's copy of TT Prealg. hasn't arrived yet. I need to figure out how many lessons there are total in this book (so that I can figure out how many lessons he needs to do a week to complete the book by the end of the year) and 2) is there testing in this program? How often do they do a test (end of unit, each lesson, etc?) Also, how much time do you typically spend per lesson? Thanks!!!!

Ours does! Our is finished - carpeted, two bedrooms, bathroom. It is accessible through the garage or a spiral staircase that goes up to the main level. It does have heat down there, but no air conditioning. It has window wells (like buried windows) as well. The boys rooms are down there right now, and our room used to be down there. In the summer, even on the hottest days, its always natrually much cooler. Our air conditioning up stairs BROKE in the middle of summer last year. I'm in WA state, and our temps here get about 90's to low 100's in the dead of summer. We hung out in the basement the whole time because it was so much cooler. In the winter too, even just running one baseboard heater, it stays nice and toasty downstairs.

First, on the possible adoption - just be sure not to pressure her at all to make a decision. This is entirely up to her and things could work out just fine if she did keep the baby. I was in a much tougher spot when I got pregnant at 16. Things were not easy in the beginning, but they worked out just fine soon enough. I could never imagine not having my son now. I would just worry about your niece deciding to let your family adopt her baby because she's in a hard place in life now, but then in a few years when she's stable really regretting that decision and maybe even trying to take over on the parenting of the child again. Obviously she would be a part of the child's life, but would you let the child know that cousin so-in-so is actually his bio mom, or would that be a secret from him/her? You really have to think about your husband and your's decisions on certain matters like that - how much you'd want your niece involved in baby's life, do other family members (like her parents) support this decisions as well and so on. *hugs* Tough decisions!

Definitely not. We have a rule against rated R movies in our house.

Thanks all! Oh and I just realized I posted this in the wrong folder. oops! I meant for it to go under General. Sorry! Thanks for the tips though! I can have my mom come for a week, and maybe my mother-in-law for a week also (she didn't come last time though). I tried to get more independant curriculum for this next year, but some of it still will require a lot of my time. It will be an adventure! :)

Oh and the times were mostly just for my schedule, but we didnt always stick to them. Mostly we just used the every 30 min "time slot" to help organize our day. We usually spent right around 3 hrs or sometimes a bit more per day.

I just finished our first year homeschooling...I bounced between no timed schedules to using timed schedules. I was homeschooling a 7, 9 and 12 yr old by the way. I found that schedules with times on them were not often followed. What worked more for me seemed to be when I would set the timer for 30 minutes and I had a set daily schedule of which subject was done each 30 min time slot. If it was something that required more work, like math, then they did it for two 30 min time slots. If they finished their work early, they had a bit of free time (get a snack, color, go to the bathroom, etc). And I rotated it so that when one child was doing math and needed my help, the other two were doing more independent work like journaling or reading. Here is an example of the schedule I followed mostly towards the end of the year: (Sorry about the formatting...I couldn't figure out how to get it to stick) 8:00 am School: Alex-Read Brayden - Math Instr. Owen - EtC Babies - Play 8:30 am Alex-Piano/Journal Brayden - Math Indep. Owen - EtC Babies - Play 9:00 am Alex - Read/play babies Brayden - Piano Owen - Math Instr. Babies - Listen to stories 9:30 am Alex - Spelling /Math Inst Brayden - Read/Journal Owen - Math Indep. Babies - Play 10:00 am Alex - Math Indep. Brayden - English Inst/ Indp. Owen - Break / Read Babies - Play 10:30 am Alex - English Inst/Indp. Brayden - Break / Spelling Owen - Journal /Handwriting Babies - Play 11:00 am Alex - Writing / WG Brayden - WWE Owen - WWE / FLL Babies - Play 11:30 am Alex - Help prepare lunch Brayden - Handwriting Owen - Spelling Babies - Lunch 12:00 pm Lunch After lunch was Story of the World time when the little two went down for naps usually.

After I had my m/c a few months ago, I got PG about two months later. I was pretty cautious at first, but I had my first appt yesterday at 9 weeks and baby looked great, saw the heartbeat, and measured a few days ahead too! Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good about it. :) We may just have a baby in February! I'm curious though what to expect when it comes to homeschooling next spring with a new baby? We are in a homeschool program in which they have to report their progress each week. However, they did say that if a family goes on vacation or doesn't do school for whatever reason that week then its okay to just report it as that. So I'm wondering if taking two weeks off of homeschool will be enough, and then slowly work into it? I will probably have the kids do their work on the couch around me where I can feed the baby and help them too. I did get Teaching Textbooks for my older two sons - so that's less work for me. And my 12 yr old is taking an English, Science, History block at the homeschool program two days a week (and the other boys will be taking classes two days a week on those same days too). I'm just curious what to expect so that I don't get my expectations too high of how I "think" things should be and when/if I fail I beat myself up too much. lol Thanks!

Writing was an area my boys lacked in last year. It was our first year homeschooling, so I've learned a lot last year. :) I think writing is super important - in fact one of the most important skills in my opinion. TOO many kids these days can barely string enough words together to make a coherent sounding sentance (as is evident on Facebook lol)! I hear SO much about IEW. Frankly though, its a bit overwhelming. There are SO many programs. For example, I just found the Ancient-History based writing lessons on Rainbow Resource. That looks GREAT! It goes along with our Story Of the World vol. 1 and its for grades 3-8. I could use it for my two oldest boys. Also, I have access to the teacher videos for free at my boys' homeschool program. I guess my question is 1) how teacher intensive is IEW? Does it require a lot of hand-holding or is it fairly independant? and 2) what can you tell me about all of the different options for IEW? and 3) is all that's needed are the student books? Thanks!!!

Thanks so much for all the ideas! :) I'm looking into all of them. Question - are the First Language Lesson combined with Writing With Ease thorough and complete enough for Language Arts (no other supplement programs needed for grammar, writing..)? Even in the older grades like 4th grade? Thanks!!

I'm trying to follow the WTM book for this coming fall. I see in grammar (for the 4th grade level) the only recommendations are Rod & Staff and Voyages in English. I've done both of those and Rod & Staff was too teacher intensive and way too much writing for a boy who hates writing (so we ended up doing a lot of oral exercises). I like Voyages in English but felt it was lacking in areas - which is what WTM says also. So that's all that's suggested in WTM though? What other suggestions do you ladies have? I'd need nonsectarian books. Also, I'm trying to lean towards more independent work for him. OH and for 2nd grade also. :) Thanks!!

This was the reason we ultimately decided not to do it. I still think it sounds like a great program, however, my DH just couldn't justify the $3000 (first year, so buying the needed guides, memory cards, etc + my oldest would have been in Challenge A which is more money then Foundations). :( We had four of school age, and one would have been in the nursery. My Dh kind of made the ultimate decision, but I supported him on it. He just didn't feel the price was worth the quantity/quality. Basically you're paying for one day a week to have other parents (who went to a 4-day training or so) tutor your kids for a couple hours. <--- These are his words. I guess when we originally decided to do the program he thought they were bringing in "professionals" from the CC program who'd been more extensively trained. ALSO, in our area its the FIRST year doing it here so there was a large level of uncertainty if it would even work in this area and the teachers were ALL going to be new to the program. If I could do it though - I'd try to see if I could be a teacher so that my costs would be less. :) We went one day to visit the "test run" program and my boys loved it. My 7 yr old keeps asking when we'll go back. :(

No one?

I like the idea of covering the different cycles with the reading, history, and even science. However - being that I'm not starting at kindergarten level...how does that work? Do I start all of the boys on the first cycle? Or do I start them on their correct grade level cycle? I will have a 2nd grader, 4th grader, and 7th grader in the fall.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement! :) I am feeling better, because of what you all said and because of what my kids said too. I asked them today if they had a choice, would they go back to PS or stay home and do their homeschool program. The little ones I knew what their answer would be already because my 3rd grader had such horrible experiences with school and the principal that ruined him for life I think. :( Also my 1st grader just loves being home and doing things with his brothers. He had a good kindergarten experience last year, but he couldn't wait to be home like his brother (who I had taken out of school early while I let his other brothers finish last year first). I was right. They chose to stay at home and stick with their homeschool program. But I was surprised at my 12 yr old's answer. He was the one who loved middle school and was pretty upset when we took him out. He kept asking if he could just go back. He even came up with a list of reasons why he should go back. I felt horrible. I felt like I was ruining his life. :( So when I asked him today how he felt the year has gone and if he had a choice again, would he choose his old PS middle school or stick with the homeschool program. He chose to stick with his homeschool program. He likes his new friends, he says the classes are fun. I was pretty surprised...if he would have said he wanted to go back to PS I would have probably folded at that moment - that's the kind of week I've been having. BUT all the kids unanimously said they want to stay w/ their homeschool program and stay at home. I knew the first year would be hard, and I knew to expect burnout towards the end. I do have exciting plans for next year and am going to be following WTM suggestions (with the notebooks and learning outlines, etc) a lot more closely. I am also going to focus more on independent work. Unknowingly, I picked out curriculum this year that was pretty teacher Dependant (like Rod and Staff, Saxon math, etc). I've altered it to make it as independent as possible, but I feel they aren't learning as much without that instruction. SO I have chosen programs that give that instruction without me needing to do a lot of planning or...instructing. lol (Like CLE, and Teaching Texbooks) To answer questions asked above... No there are no charter schools here. :( I believe I read somewhere that my state (WA) hasn't yet passed laws to allow charter schools. bummer. But what they have at their homeschool program is pretty close. Its a pretty great program actually, even if its funded by the government. :P lol Also, we're not doing CC. :( I was really wanting to do that and my boys were looking forward to it. It was exciting thinking of the sense of community and being able to go to classes with their cousins. However, DH just couldn't come to terms with it being worth the $$. I tried to explain it to him, but he said it sounded like the content and quality wasn't up to par with the prices. The prices aren't bad...but for four kids they add up...to over $3,000. Plus any other curriculum we'd need to cover that CC didn't cover. DH would have agreed to it and we could have afforded it - but the bottom line was that he didn't feel it was worth it. :( So we have one full day (9-2pm) out of the house a week at their beloved homeschool program, and one half day (9-12pm). I don't think the 3-day week is working...especially with my 12 yr old. Some of the classes I've signed him up for with the program are going to required quite a bit of work to continue at home as well (I have him enrolled in a block of "middle school" English, History, and Science that all work together on the same cycles...a four yr cycle I believe it said. Sounds pretty Classically minded?). So I'd realllly like to try doing some afternoon homeschooling after they get back at noon from their half day. Even if we just cover math, reading and English that day. Anyway, I get SO excited talking plans and curriculum and organization. The problem just comes down to actually doing them. Reality. And my boys' constant bickering and whining and talking back that makes me want to shut myself in my room all day and ignore it all. :( So we're working on that. Someone suggested the "Have a New Kid By Friday" book. I've just started reading that. Thanks again for all the suggestions!!

Well its pretty much to a close now, although I still want to do some things with them throughout the summer to keep their minds fresh. :) Here's my problem though. Every. Single. Day. was a struggle this year. :( I feel like I'm not organized enough, motivated enough, creative enough, or patient enough to be a homeschool mom. Is it really true that anyone can homeschool, or are some just not cut out for it? The fact I've had to face is that I'm lazy. I can't make myself stick to a routine or schedule if I tried. I'm still working on this because I think things would be less chaotic and things would get done more if we did have a schedule or routine of some sort. But I keep trying and failing. Ive been so stressed out with my kids. I'm so happy on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and the weekends. I finally figured out its because on those days the boys don't have to do school work. They go to a homeschool program on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and we don't do school on weekends. My goal was to challenge them, have them learn more then they would in the PS. However I feel like I haven't taught them anything this year. I feel like they basically got a year off. :( I think we only completed half of their math/English books. (partially though because I changed their math and English a couple times in the beginning of the year, so they got a late start on the programs we finally stuck with). It was a rare week to actually do school all three days. My oldest is going into 7th grade in the fall. I'm scared crapless that I'll hold him back by not making sure he's being taught what he needs to. I am ashamed to say that I actually fantasize about what it was like for them to be in PS and for me to have five quiet days a week to actually keep the house clean. The reasons we decided to homeschool are becoming fuzzier and fuzzier. The biggest one I keep hanging on to is that we didn't want them in today's PS system because of the influences and the way society has changed. We want them to have certain values and morals and it seems today's youth have stripped all those away. But I've met many strong in faith families from our church who send their kids to PS. Their kids turn out great. And they learn a lot of lessons on how to be strong in faith and values in the face of opposition. In some ways, it makes them stronger. But it can go the opposite direction too...and that's what I'm afraid of. Its a scary thing to know that your decisions can affect the path of your child's future. Either keep homeschooling and raise wonderful, well-adjusted kids who haven't had to deal with peer pressure and temptations thrown in their face every day - OR the other path here is that they could fall behind in their studies because of my iniquities and/or grow up to hate me and hate their brothers due to having to be stuck with them all the time and not going out and making their own friends. None of my boys have actual good friends that they hang out with beyond scout or soccer activities. OR Send them back to PS and risk them making the wrong friends, getting into trouble, even drugs, and who knows what else. OR they could do great, grow up wonderfully and we'd all be happy. Wahhhh! I don't know what to think/do. I'm a shy introvert by nature, and that doesn't seem to make for a good homeschool mom. The great homeschool moms I see are out there in the community, involving their kids in various activities and events, making playdates for them and their friends, taking them hiking, for walks or bicycle rides, etc etc. I'm just not like that. :( I get stressed out too easily with all these little kids taking them anywhere outside the house. So...after my big whine...what are your thoughts? How do you do it?

I hope you see this (OP) but I'm usually a thread killer so you likely won't. lol I just wanted to post that I was a young teen mom at 17, so not legally an adult yet. Not to get into a huge long post, but my parents had concerns about my boyfriend too. It was really stressful for a time. I needed my mom's help but I just couldn't live in the house with her and try to learn to be a mom and an adult at the same time. What really helped me was when my parents helped me to get an apartment of my own. I still needed their guidance and help, but they did just enough and then stood back to let me figure out the rest. Living separately from my parents meant that I had to figure out how to make money and provide for my child myself. My boyfriend wasn't much help in that area. So I got a minimum wage job at a local restaurant and applied for government help. That was temporary until I started to make more money. My boyfriend did eventually show his true colors, as my parents always warned me. But I just had to figure it out on my own. My point is that you need to find the balance between supporting and helping your daughter, and letting her grow up and take responsibility herself too. But don't just push her out of the nest and expect her to fly. It will take time. So I think that you are NOT a bad mom, but a GOOD mom. Its good that you are there to offer help and support. Just try to make sure that you really encourage your daughter to take responsibility before coming to you first. And realize that the more you push on the boyfriend issue, the more she'll feel like pulling away from you. At least, I remember how I was in that situation. At its worst, the final point came to my mom giving me an ultimatim...my parents or my boyfriend. My boyfriend offered to take me away, marry me, and have his family be my new family basically. I chose my parents. And I'm so glad I had the sense of mind to make that decision. It was the best one I made during that time. (If I told you the whole long story of why, you'd all understand lol). I know I'm rambling, I guess I just hoped my story would help somehow. You've gotten a lot of good advice. Its just about finding a balance. The driving issue is a pretty big issue. But putting a curfew of 8pm on them may be a bit much. Although of course I understand where you are coming from, and as a parent, I'd totally want to do that too. Just keep talking to your daughter about the dangers and hopefully she'll keep putting the bug in her boyfriend's ear as well. :grouphug:

wow that's way too young for a lecture like that. :( I was imagining 9 yr olds or maybe even 7 yr olds by the way you described his lecture to them. I picture my 4 yr old in a soccer game like that, and I'd be pretty upset with such a mean talk given by the coach too! If this is the first time, I'd probably just keep an eye on things more closely - pay attention during practice (is the coach losing his cool? Is he yelling at the kids?) and if he gives another lecture like this after the next game then definitely say something. Like you said, it could have just been a really bad week for him. Still not an excuse to take his anger out on these little kids, though. You could always send a gentle email too (or call, I say email because I'm a phone-phobe LOL) and just say that your little one was a bit sad after the last game and you were concerned. Make sure you voice that you want him to have a good time and learn how to play soccer, but that you worry when he (your son) is too focused on winning/losing. Good luck!

I really don't know what my race is. ;) Most European American I guess? Although for many many generations my family has been just American - so I don't know how I can claim European American? At what point is one just an American? I was born in America, as were my parents, my grandparents, my great grandparents and so on. I'm not really sure at what point my ancestors came over to America. So I just say I'm white. ;) My oldest son is half native american and half me. ;) I always wonder what to put in the race/nationality box in forms. Do I put white or Native American? I end up usually checking both.