Gaslighting is a pretty heavy handed accusation to be making of people who are merely pointing out the dangers of getting into certain driving situations before you are ready to capably handle them. No one is denying her anxiety, or her right to feel as she does.
However there's some difference of opinion as to how hard this girl should be PUSHED to drive because they *need* her to. That need, which I'm sure is very real, has to be subordinated to the safety of the girl and everyone she may encounter as a driver. I think some of the remedial things and coping strategies people have suggested have been very good.
I still don't think she should be pushed to drive because of a perceived need. It only takes one horrible accident to realize that someone who is not ready to drive solo, or who needs more practice to gain confidence, should be afforded that opportunity, rather than be subtly pressured to take on more than she can handle.
Gaslighting. Really.