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Trish

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Everything posted by Trish

  1. Having gone to college on a campus where fraternity/sorority life was widespread, I would say the abuse has more to do with this "group mentality" than any particular abuse experienced by individual members. Some fraternities and sororities were known to have abusive types of rituals, and attracted certain types of students, others did not.
  2. If you're going to feel guilty about something, feel guilty about putting her wants ahead of your family's needs. Your weekends for planning, relaxation and being AVAILABLE to your family are more important than her seeing a boyfriend! This wouldn't even rate as a possibility in my family. The most I would do maybe is offer to feed (not stay with) the dogs. More likely I'd give her the name of a reliable pet sitter. And I CERTAINLY don't see interrupting your HSing schedule for her! She must know you do that during the week. I'm only being emphatic here because you seem to have somehow prioritized this friend over your own family. How did that happen? :confused:
  3. Haha. Even when I'm WITH my kids, I don't want to be seated at a table near other children. Mine are pretty good (not perfect, but pretty good), but most kids in restauarants, with occasional exceptions, are pretty miserable! So, these people are just playing the odds. Odds are, you don't want to be seated near children if you want to enjoy your meal. Why go through the trouble of being seated, waiting to see how obnoxious the kids will get, and THEN ask to be moved? Much more trouble, and then also an obvious snub. As others have said, why take it personally? I do the same thing on the plane when I fly Southwest.
  4. Dang, I made my first ever trip to Vermont this summer with my whole extended family and we stayed in LUDLOW, the very town the boy is from. Wow. I'm trying to remember which lake that is, there were several in the area. My own family members went out canoeing on a lake where there was also a motorboat pulling a water skier. So very sad.
  5. All's well that ends well...thanks for the update! Also a lot of food for thought in this thread, no matter what the original opinion was. :D
  6. I would do the same thing with a 13-year-old that I would with my 9- and 11-year-old. "I'll only give you one warning, then, you lose privileges for the day. We can talk about your attitude as a family when you dad gets home tonight..." Does he still have his privileges? Games, phone, computer...whatever they may be in your household.
  7. I guess I don't get the premise -- we're asked what's the correct etiquette here (presumably so others can share their experiences and ideas, and there have been a LOT of good ideas as far as stretching the food etc.), but then we're told the etiquette is set in stone and these people are just out of line, period. If the etiquette is perfectly clear, why even ask, just vent away! Okay then! Either tell them they misunderstood the invitation, or feed them and resent them! But, you could also try to make the best of it. I'm still wondering what is the standard of behavior in OP's general circle -- are all four of these parents statistical outliers -- people who are doing something out of bounds of what is generally accepted? It it a conspiracy to cadge a free lunch? :confused:
  8. Well it's a parent's JOB to see to the safety of their children. Those feelings are as important as the feelings of a hostess who feels she MUST provide a certain level of food to parents who probably just want to make sure all goes well in the pool. Why assume all four sets of parents will be okay with an unspecified "pool party" situation? Basically that IS the assumption if the party is going to be that small. I just don't see the need to treat pool party parents like Chinese Diplomats. And then blame them for having the nerve to expect to be treated like "party guests." Maybe because here in Florida unfortunately I'm always reading about kids drowning in backyard pools, even while "supervised" I'm overly sensitive to the safety issue. She can feel however she wants to about it, but so can the parents of the boys. I'm glad in this situation "etiquette is being violated" and there will be more supervision, not less. Especially because the supervisors seem to be: one teen-aged daughter, one tired husband, and one frazzled hostess who has planned two parties on one day. That's WAY too much to have on your mind. I wonder if perhaps Party #2 is contributing to the stress of this situation?
  9. Indeed it does. Now, we not only have five (or 7, if we include your younger children?) who need supervision, but one of the supervising adults is tired as heck. More eyes on the kids would be even better in this situation. But based on your stated expectations, if I were a parent I would receive this invitation for my son and say to myself, "well only HE is invited, clearly, so I can't come. It's a pool party, so that doesn't make me entirely comfortable, okay, he CAN'T go." Presumably these are his good friends? You'd be okay with parents saying no to your party? You might get only one mother out of four comfortable in this situation, just leaving her child to be watched by others in the pool. (especially if one of the supervisors is a teen herself) Or, my other option is to ask you, "is it okay if I come to keep an eye on things?" (thus making a pest of myself and someone who had to be "fed") Or ignore my instincts and send my son anyway, because he didn't want to disappoint his friend on his birthday? Three bad options, it seems!
  10. Bag. Of. Chips. Pitcher. Of. Icewater. Honestly, have you never been in this situation? It's common, and easily resolved. And there are always safety issues when you have a bunch of kids in the pool. The more people keeping an eye on things, the better.
  11. Well said. Plus, I'm wondering if OP's other children will be at this party? The 4 year old and 7 year old? Honest to goodness, they require an extra set of eyes at that age, and if any adult needs to get food or go to the bathroom that leaves only TWO sets of eyes on everyone. Really, it sounds like barely enough supervision as it is. I would WANT the extra parental eyes. Not sure why the food is such a HUGE issue (feed, don't feed, feed cheaply -- it all works!) You do LIKE these people, don't you? Accept the extra help instead of viewing them as a burden. Put them to work serving the boys -- I just had a party with a bunch of 11-year-olds, and it's tough managing everything without extra help! Couldn't we look at the glass as half full here?
  12. Pretzels. Really. That's all adults want. And maybe a glass of water or pop. We truly don't want the pizza at a kid's party. Ugh. If you must, order ONE extra pizza, and I'll bet you end up with leftovers.
  13. This one has a great zoom for a point and shoot: Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ18K 8.1MP Digital Camera with 18x Wide Angle MEGA Optical Image Stabilized Zoom (Black)
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