Does the neighbor pay for his own trash service as well? If he has his own cans, but it running over by a bag and ASKS if he can add one to yours, then I find no problem with it. He obviously hasn't asked, though... We do this all the time with our neighbors... we all pay similar amounts for the same service and there are times each of us does extra yard work over a weekend and needs extra space and we share with each other. But, it is mutually discussed and reciprocated. **Oh, I see he doesn't pay at all. Not cool, particularly without any discussion.

Eliana, Thank you for taking the time to share with me. My stepson does love positive reinforcement and I have often used that in the past working with him so that is a great reminder to me! He and I had some good moments last night as he did the chores and we decided that we would go out, just the two of us, at least once a month to connect more often and to build our relationship. Looking at it after a night's sleep I think that I was being picky with him and the "why" I was being picky is what is important and will need to be addressed with son in our times together. Son regularly acts out as if my wishes do not matter in the least (remember he said he really didn't care if I was here or not). Taking responsibility for myself in this... how would things have been different had I spoken softly (I never was raising my voice, but to make my voice softer) and ask him differently to begin with... anyway I don't know if this is making sense, but I can work on myself and how I come across to him and try to make our daily life situations a building experience... **Yet, in no way am I saying that I deserved the abusive language. I believe that is coming partly from video games and public school and also from hearing men at the marina talk that way. I know dh uses some cuss words out at the boat and out fishing UNLESS I am there. He sets a good example of respecting me as his wife in not cussing at home or if I am at the boat. Anyway... time to build relationships! Good morning everyone!

I love a good dance song to exercise to... and I have a similar disclaimer... I don't agree with all the lyrics in the songs, but I sure do enjoy them, anyway... tpain's apple bottom jeans black eyed peas... boom boom pow... Who let the dogs out! Echo by gorilla zoe (I honestly have not listened to any other song by them... and would probably be horribly embarased to have them on this list if I did... so...) Usher - "Yeah" Evanescence - Bring me back to life Shakira - Hips dont lie Gloria Gaynor I WILL SURVIVE!!!! (one of my life's anthems... right next to Victory in Jesus) It's my go-to list when I need to have a kick butt day...

I have rarely asked a close friend to keep something in such strict confidence... but I have asked it. If my dearest friend could not keep it between the two of us and it meant that much to me, I simply wouldn't share what I had to share. But, my closest friend did agree and she has kept my confidence. I am grateful for that because she is my dearest friend and we have walked down life's road as close friends for many, many years... I think the situation has to warrant the request and if someone cannot risk a spouse being told and that preference cannot be respected, one shouldn't speak of it... Sometimes life requires strict confidence.

Putting your foot down here is likely only going to continue whatever dysfunctional family dance you've been engaged in for years. It hasn't worked yet, likely it won't work this time either. Albeto, I believe you are out of line. You do not know me and are not addressing my WWYD question. I have been participating on this board for over 10 years, homeschooled many of those years, shared openly some ups and downs. We all have ups and downs. When you have 11 children, you are going to run into a LOT of issues over many years. I have many success stories to share and am quite satisfied with myself and where I am at on most days. I will say, to the general population here at TWTM that if I could do it over again, I would not blend a family after a divorce. Nope. But it is done and I must put my best foot forward every day and stick to my vow because I am only as good as my word. My husband is not abusive, he adores me, he errs on the side of grace and I've learned a lot from him. I err on the side of punishment and he learns from me. We have hit a bumpy time with this son recently and those of you following know we've had quite a run with another. That however does not detract from our beautiful successes and healthy family times. Enough said. Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the comments and considerations. I will not be returning the xbox until respect is given for a long bit of time... Period. Dh knows that and says he will support it. Done. Tampamommy, I agree! Our words are our display of our character, which is what I am working on addressing. Thanks for the hug! PS Did I just show that I am trying to stand up for myself when needed?:) I have always had a gentle, submissive nature, but I tell you the past decade has sure taught me to not be as needed...

I sat the boy down and made him sit, feet forward, paying attention and interacting during the discussion... We went over the scenario... he had to admit, in his own words, that it was his responsibility to clean up after himself and that he overreacted. He gave some excuses for the speech problem, but realized that it simply was inexcusable. We sat here in the living room for well over an hour, him being required to think through things and respond. I asked him to talk about how he feels about me... he had a VERY hard time with that. I asked him to tell me three things that he remembers that were good times between us. He did. I told him things that I like about him. Then I asked him, "When I come in from work, do you think, 'Oh, no, mom is home...'" he said, "No, I don't think anything at all. It doesn't matter to me whether you are here or not." BINGO. I had him evaluate that for some time and realize that in all honesty, he just doesn't care about me. I am not taking that personally... it's just simply the way it is. But, he can see that is an area we need to work on... Anyway, a lot more was discussed... I gave him the option for his punishment... He lost the xbox cord for an undetermined amount of time (I will decide later) due to his uncooperation over cleaning up after himself... The cussing took place as he walked out the door... So, it requires an additional consequence. I let him choose 1) mow the front and back yards, water the gardens thoroughly, eat dinner and go to bed, no cell phone, no electronics period. or 2)hand the cell phone over, outside of school hours, for the next 3 days. He picked option #1. If this happens again, I will require him to hand the phone over each day when he gets in from school for a month... then go from there. Summer will be here and he'll hate losing the phone. (As mentioned, he takes the city bus and we want him to have the cell phone for going back and forth to school.)(He has dyslexia and adhd and I tried homeschooling him but it was too frustrating for both of us). Anyway, he is busy outside now...

I have often times wished I was "that girl" who put makeup on every day. I often times try to make myself do it... I just hate taking the time! I wear makeup for weddings and most birthday parties... major holidays... and that's about it. :)

His dad "spoke strongly" to him. I've been cussed at by one other child of mine, but the child was intoxicated and going through withdrawals and being forced to get help... totally different set of circumstances... This boy is being allowed to play xbox live and run his mouth something terrible (in his own room) and his dad just isn't seeing what is happening... I took the xbox cord and he wont be getting it back for a very long time, unless his dad tells me I must return it to him... I am also taking his cell phone away when he gets in from school. I will let him take it with him when he leaves in the morning and he'll return it to me when he gets home. He take the city bus to school and back, so his dad wants him to have his cell phone. I'm going to have a talk with him.... That's all I can come up with...

No, this language is not used at all in the home. I don't cuss, with the exception of "hell" or "****" maybe once a month. (As in, I get a burn cooking and the word comes out.) He disrespects me by not taking off his shoes and walking on the carpet with them on, even when the others don't do this. He simply doesn't care. I have dealt with it by just saying "no" when he asks me for things. Sigh. This is really not good...

The first time was about 6 weeks ago. I went to get him for dinner and I knocked his headphones on the floor and he called me a F#$%ing B!@ch! His dad was out of town. He thought I did it on purpose, but I didn't. Absolutely no reason to call me that, IMO. His dad got onto him about it, said he is to never speak to me that way again.... This morning I asked him to wipe up spilled milk and bit of cereal from the table. He wiped the cereal onto the floor, mad because I also asked him to rinse out the dishrag. I asked him to pick the cereal up off the floor and he gets more mad and throws the cereal onto the kitchen floor... I inform him that he is now not going to play with his xbox this week... ask him to pick up the cereal and throw it in the trash, he does, stomps around, dramatically and tells me I am an a$$. Dad is out of town this week. Hmmm. Mother in law tells me to just stop engaging with him. To sit him down and tell him that I am not cleaning up after him, that I am not here to boss him around, that he needs to handle these things in life himself from now on and if he gets into trouble, he can deal with his dad. I do understand not engaging. But, I have to draw the line at being cussed at. I understand I am incapable of controlling anyone but myself. Good grief. Here's another difficult teen comin' down the pike... WWYD? (regarding the son, not the father, please) (FTR, he gets bad grades, but dad is okay with that, I cannot win that one, so I don't even try anymore... he mows the yards and works for neighbors and goes out boating every week with his dad's friend... I cannot stop that activity if I wanted to, his dad will allow it... I can only influence the atmosphere in the home and send him out of the room if he gets rude...)(His dad is a conflict avoider and peaceful man who just thinks everything will always work out on it's own)

I've started juicing and am hitting a couple of bumps... I am allergic to apples, pears, peaches and carrots... Most recipes use apples or carrots... I tried one today with two apples and my throat started to swell... had to take two benadryl. If you juice, do you have a few recommendations for me? I'd love to know that I'm trying out something that others make and enjoy... Thanks!

My MIL is pretty good at this... you don't post your bids ahead of time, that alerts the competition... you set a timer for the last couple of minutes and you put the highest you are willing to pay at the last 20 seconds... and hope for the best.

I've never liked cooking, though I am good at it... I just cooked through the book Once a Month Cooking, nearly cover to cover and had dh's full support... He goes with me to do the shopping and one son, who loves to cook, works with me in the kitchen and we get 14 meals at a time in the freezer. I am ALWAYS looking for ways to get out of the kitchen!

:grouphug:and lots of prayers.

I looked through my zoom lens with a piece of cardboard in front of it with a tiny hole poked through the cardboard, then stood behind the darkened glass of the back door of the Tahoe and photographed it... and impressed myself, if I do say so... LOL! Enjoy!

I'm grabbing my prayer journal right now, Joanne. Will hold you and him in prayer.:grouphug:

I recent went with Trader Joe's toxin free shampoo, conditioner, handwash, bodywash, deodorant (I have to use baby powder with it or I feel sticky... grrr.)(I know there's another deodorant thread) and also a toxin free shave cream! It feels great to have made the switch... but I have curly hair and can only wash it once a week unless I get it dirty (as in, dirt from gardening all day or something like that)... and I have dry, curly hair that will frizz horribly without mousse. Any recommendations on a product that is toxin free? Thanks!

Joining in late... My mom is a very close friend, we usually talk 3-4 times a week. My two best friends live far away.... one I met my first day arriving at college... the other is my mom's age and was an incredible friend to me during some very difficult years in Alaska. That's 3. I have other "friends" that I like real well and occasionally catch up with (as in, maybe once a year). We don't live near each other, but our friendships stand the test of time and when we connect, it is like picking up right where we left off... that would be two more... I count them as true friends... That's 5. I long to meet a "true" friend where I live... seems like since I moved here 5 years ago everyone I meet has their own lives and friendships and I have only "clicked" with one... a new neighbor across the street... our friendship is new, though... If I start counting relatives that I like and get along with and my grown children, I can get a higher number, but it's not about getting the number higher, it's about "true friends". I do count my grown kids at true friends... along with another handful of relatives... that's four more for sure... So, my final answer is 9 true friends.

and don't know what to do!!!! I could take a bath and read.... I could try to find something on netflix to enjoy... What to do??????? (I really do love solitude... absolutely... I think I feel like I must be somewhat of a nobody if I don't have plans when I have a few hours of quiet, alone time... )

I loved our day... we went the day before Mother's Day... there were people around, but it wasn't crowded. The falls were flowing beautifully. I'd love to hear more suggestions of amazing places to visit, Krissi!! I am serious about wanting to repel somewhere! And I cannot believe the beauty I have never experienced... Please share some destinations :).

Sniff. Sniff. I wish I could! My eyes are too different, one with astigmatism and my corrective lenses are actually tri-focals. My Dr. and I decided I would not be happy with contacts because I could only use harder ones, at this time and that would drive me batty. So, I am envious!!! Hope they work out great!

In case you've ever been curious about Yosemite... if you'd like to experience it through our recent family trip... I made four posts this week all about it at my blog. It was AMAZING. If you are ever in central or northern California and can make the trip, DO SO! I cannot believe that I waited so long to get to Yosemite! It surely delivers! (Can you tell I was excited and still am?) We are SO going back!

We have a very lean son, too, although not at all in comparison to your son being a preemie. He passed his physical to run on the long distant track team last summer/fall and loved it, but then he wanted to do wrestling and the school athletic department tested his body fat content and it was less than 7%. They hinted at calling cps! They would not allow him to wrestle because they believed that he wasn't healthy enough, even with Dr. approval. He eats all the time at home, but he is tall and lean... His skin is dark and his legs are hairy, so I have never noticed veins... It never hurts to tell the physician your concerns, even more than once. :001_smile: If his overall health and blood look good and you've asked the doctor about it, I would try not to worry. :001_smile:

I love Olivia Kathryn Grace... Beautiful !!

Sweet Julie :grouphug: I have experienced something very similar. My throat would not allow me to swallow food for several days, period. I would gag trying to make myself eat. So, I drank protein shakes and gatorade/powerade (Doctor's advise). I didn't even feel hungry. I kept my doctor in the loop and he did prescribe me an anti-depressant for sleep and appetite, which I took for about 4-6 months. :grouphug::grouphug: Hang in there, hon.