I would give them a week. It's a busy time in the semester. What time frame did you tell them? I.e. is that a "would you in principle be willing" type question or a "dealine is in four weeks" one? Can you approach them in person? Ideally, these would be professors with whom you are in regular contact.

@Miss Tick To be fair, some commitments are unavoidably during evenings and weekends. Anything with student organizations or major outreach events. It has been my experience, however, that the people involved in these activities usually understand and do it gladly. I mean, sure, I can think of a better way to spend my Saturday than at advising incoming first-year students, but I understand why it needs to happen on weekends, and I consider it a very *meaningful* task. That seems to be key - the people who are doing activities they consider meaningful don't mind giving their evenings or weekends. It's all the *nonsense* that's imposed by administration that makes it difficult. Don't quote either: commiserations from another department chair spouse, lol.

Sure- but the expectation that professors should answer emails from students or the administration at all hours is grating. Just because you have an evening class or may choose to spend your weekend doing research does not mean students are entitled to expect a response to their non-emergency emails, and the administration is most certainly not entitled to a response about a non-time-critical issue. That is inconsiderate and calls for a frank discussion about work-life balance. They know faculty are working anyway, but they should NEVER structure any opportunities that require people to be on call over the weekend. The academic culture is toxic in that respect. (Do not quote- will delete: In a recent retirement celebration, a high ranking staff member was lauded for always picking up the phone immediately at midnight or 3am. That was seen as a great strength. I see it as abusive culture.) As for helping students: I generally will not respond to students over the weekend as a matter of principle. Exceptions are true emergencies (death in the family and worried about missing the exam). Any question that can wait until Monday gets answered on Monday at 7am. I do this on purpose to break the culture that I call "tyranny of the immediate response". Also, I try to unplug and be away from my phone and email as much as I can. I have 500 students. The amount of email is staggering.

But it shouldn't be *expected*. The expectation that faculty respond to emails at all hours needs to go away already.

Beautifully put.

Not necessarily. For example, my mother is the one in contact with her nieces and old family friends. I like hearing what's going on with everyone, but am not myself keeping in contact with everyone. She sees my sister often, I only see her once a year, but I want to hear the updates. Conversely, I ask my kids how their friends are doing because I am interested, but I am not myself in contact with their friends, that would be weird.

It's all a matter of tone and subtext. Of course parents would tell an adult child about family members and friends. As long as it is done without the subtext "hey, you should take an example and do better", there is nothing wrong with that. One would hope parents to be sensitive to a current crisis and not revel in wedding news towards a kid whose relationship has just ended, or go on and on about cousin's awesome job if their kids had just gotten fired. Ultimately, adults are responsible for their own feelings and should not expect other people to anticipate their emotions and preemptively steer away from normal topics of conversation. If it really bothers the young person, they need to speak up. "Hey mom, you know that I'm struggling, and hearing about cousin Sally's promotion makes me feel like a failure. Can we talk about something else?" They can't expect parents to walk on eggshells.

As the person who has given our department tours for the past six years, I find them useful for two types of students: 1. Students who are not sure what they want to major in or know little about how college works. Those I can inspire by showing them cool labs, and I can alleviate concerns by explaining the program and all the academic support opportunities. 2. Students who are very well informed and have specific questions about our degree program, the research, the opportunities. Those I can convince that our department is the right place for them by giving detailed answers. Where the tours are, ime, of little value are for the students who clearly only come because a parent made them, who have no particular reason for being on the tour, no questions. There it's a waste of time for both parties.

Oh I see. So, again my question: what's the goal for the tour? To see the building? (Why???)

I don't understand. If he doesn't want to see the department, what's the compromise?

@cintinative what exactly are your goals for the department tour? The Academic Services office of the college probably handles central advising. They would be able to talk you through the standard degree program sequence, might know how AP credit is handled (all stuff that would be on the website anyway)- but they would most likely have no idea about the research done in the department, the research opportunities for undergraduates, the actual content of the classwork. For that, you need to talk to faculty.

But they are not in the actual department and wouldn't be able to set up a department tour. They would have to contact the department, wait for a response, go back and forth. I would contact the department directly, not a college office.

Thanks! That was my suspicion and I removed it on my fourth attempt.

Most of the things we find nice, we could live without if necessary. I have lived without a washing machine or dishwasher, without convenient heating, without a bathroom in my apartment, without a car. For half a year without a fridge and without a stove. I have no desire to go back to that and am fortunate that I don't have to. But if necessary, we all could. Our grandparents or great-grandparents managed. ETA: in terms of luxury splurges: we hardly ever eat out, but we buy fancy croissants once a week, and we like wine. And we go see my mother overseas once a year - I'd cut out most other things before I cut that airline ticket. She is in her 80's; there will only be a limited number of more years.

I am trying this for the fourth time now. It kept saying I need moderator approval. I would not take this to reflect on the quality of the department. Whom exactly did you email? The generic department address may be monitored infrequently, or by a staff person who may not be good at triaging the hundreds of emails, most of them junk, that arrive at this address. (We were without office staff for several months and I got access to ours and saw what comes in there... oh my. Super easy to overlook important stuff.) Does the department website list a director of undergraduate studies or an academic advisor? This is whom I would contact first. If there is no such person, I would contact the department chair at their actual faculty email, not the generic department address. But again, none of this has anything to do with the quality of the program or the classes or the caliber of the research. They may simply have an office person who is bad at their job.

since it suddenly wants moderator approval for my posts on the highschool board

dp

I would not take this to reflect on the quality of the department. Whom exactly did you email? The generic "department@xyzcollege.edu" address may be monitored infrequently, or by a staff person who may not be good at triaging the hundreds of emails, most of them junk, who arrive at this address. (We were without office staff for several months and I got access to ours and saw what comes in there... oh my. Super easy to overlook important stuff.) Does the department website list a director of undergraduate studies or an academic advisor? This is whom I would contact first. If there is no such person, I would contact the department chair at their actual faculty email, not the generic department address. But again, none of this has anything to do with the quality of the program or the classes or the caliber of the research. They may simply have an office person who is bad at their job.

Target. Then Amazon. Ulta my last choice.

DE at a university that offers the class online? They usually have virtual tutoring resources and help sessions. Some schools offer it in person during the semester but online over the summer.

Thinking of you all.

We encountered a school that said on their website that they require a GED from homeschoolers. I pointed out that our kid wouldn't even be eligible to take the GED because he had legally finished highschool. They realized that the info on their website was "misleading" and ended up changing it. You might want to speak to a different person in admissions. Just because one counselor is clueless about homeschooling doesn't mean the entire department is. Turnover in these offices is high, and I'm not sure how much training and information they get.

No, we don't fight like this and never have. We have been together 37 years, married for 30. I can count on my fingers the times we had some arguments (I can't call them "fight"; it was never close to the level you describe!), and every single time one or both of us were hungry. We both noticed that pattern and now take care to eat when a potential argument-inducing situation unfolds (stressful travel situation for example)

Yes, Uber would be a huge game changer. Our carless experiences were in the 90s before that existed. It would be so much easier now to get an occasional ride.