Dd 16 just read this in the last couple of days, and really loved it. I asked her if she thought it would be okay for a 6 yo. She said there are a few dark parts, and they go to Hades/the underworld, which has skeletons and spirits. I guess it depends on the 6 yo. Lori

This is what it all really comes down to, for me. I know that they would learn in school. We have a decent public school system. Not perfect, but decent. I just think, in general, middle school is a bad place for kids that age. I'm okay with 9th grade, because by then they are the oldest in the school, and have weathered the worst of the early teen insecurities. I see my two oldest, and they are not as effected by the negative environment as they would have been a few years ago. They know who they are, what they value, and are fairly comfortable in their own skin. The younger two, not so much. If I can lower my academic expectations, and focus on what really matters with the younger kids, I may be able to keep plugging along, and still have the ability to keep myself healthy. Making a huge decision right now does seem like a bad idea. I like Sarah's idea of waiting until part way through summer to see how I feel. If I were to put them all in school for next year, they would be in three different schools. That in itself would be quite stressful. I have my youngest on a waiting list for a school that's just outside of our boundary area. They won't take her unless they have 3 spaces open, and right now they only have one. She would be in the same grade with two friends who she really likes, one of whom was homeschooled for a while. I know that if they call to let me know that there's an opening, I'll need to have an answer for them. I suppose we could try it for the rest of the year, and see how it goes. I just hate the thought of putting her in and then taking her out for some reason, but I'm probably just worried about what people will think more than being worried about what's best for our family as a whole.:blush: You all have given such great advice and encouragement. I'm going to reread all of your posts. Thanks so much. Lori

I'm so happy for you.:hurray: Great news!

I know that this is where we all come to encourage each other to persevere in our home education efforts. Many are able to homeschool all the way to graduation. Others are not able to do this, due to limited resources, limited education, or just because they aren't willing to do the work involved. I have recently decided that I'm one of those who won't be homeschooling all the way through to graduation. That leaves me facing a question that many of us will have to answer at some point in our homeschooling journey: How and when do we put them in school? My story: By the end of November, I was suffering from major burnout. It was as though I had sprained my soul (intellect, emotions and will). Putting any weight on the sprain was unbearable. After about an hour a day of what I would consider "normal activity", I was exhausted. I stopped almost everything. Apart from keeping up with laundry, doing the bookkeeping for dh's business, and things that could be done with no initiative on my part, I pretty much shut down. By the weekend after New Year's Day, I was starting to feel like I could do a few things. I cooked a few nice meals, and did some baking. I played board games with the kids. I was starting to feel as though some "normal activity" might be possible. I started school very carefully last week. I decided to stick with our basics, so we slowly got back into our math and LA workbooks. At this point, I can't even imagine adding anything else. We're not doing history, science, 2nd language or writing. I'm finding myself working hard on each child's weak area, with school constantly in the back of my mind. My oldest is dd 16, and is currently attending public school half time, and doing "fine". My 14 year old ds started expressing an interest in attending school right when I was heading into major burnout, so he's been at school in grade 9 full time since November (we're in Canada, so grades 7 - 9 are middle school, and high school is grades 10 - 12). Although it's been a huge adjustment for him, he seems to like it, and I've seen a lot of personal growth in his life as he's taken on many new challenges. This just leaves my younger two, who are currently in grades 7 & 4. I am considering putting them in school next year for grades 8 & 5, but I'm feeling very conflicted. On the one hand, I'm not sure if I can continue to be emotionally healthy if I don't make some fairly significant changes soon. Plus, my 12 yo boy is becoming somewhat anti-social. This week, when I asked him to get dressed, he put on a clean pair of pajamas.:001_huh: On the other hand, I don't want to put them in school only to spend the next 5 years dealing with the drama of puberty while in public middle school. Perhaps they would be better off at home doing only the basics than at school with more subjects. My 7th grader is ahead in math, but could really use some remediation in LA. My 3rd grader is ahead in LA, but would probably struggle with math if I put her in school. I would love to have a discussion about the different criteria involved in making these decisions. This is not a school vs. homeschool question. This is more a "If they're going to go to school eventually, how do we decide when?" question. Sorry... this got very long.:tongue_smilie: Lori

Hmm... too bad my SIL doesn't live in the Chicago area. Her kids could really use some quality time with the Super Nanny.:lol: Lori

Thanks. I'll take a look at Flylady's website. I have tried to implement some of her routines, but found that it wasn't a good fit for me. Maybe that's a good sign that it will be a good fit for dd.:D Lori

I posted a plea for help on the general board. If any of you have successfully trained your teenager in organizational skills, could you please pop over and share your wisdom? Thanks, Lori

I'm really struggling to find ways to help my 16 year old daughter to stay on top of the responsibilities in her life. Because I'm fairly organized, I have tended to manage my kids' schedules, but as they mature, my goal is that they learn how to manage their own lives. I've tried to teach dd to use tools that work well for me, like lists and planners, but the truth is, she and I are wired very differently. I'm very linear, and crave structure. She's very creative, and tends to work best without a lot of structure. I've been trying to keep my nose out of her business, and let her figure things out. The problem is, she isn't using her time well, and her grades are starting to suffer. She is taking math, science, and two electives at the local public school, and her other subjects are at home. She has decided that she wants to focus on music teaching (voice & choral) as her career, and should be practicing piano every day in order to be accepted into the music program she's chosen. She "forgets" to practice piano all. the. time. I've made a list of all the things she needs to complete each week in English and history, and she doesn't rely on it, but rather keeps "forgetting" to do things. I'm ready to strangle her. I don't want to run her life anymore, but I'm not seeing her do a very good job of running it on her own. She's a wonderful girl. She's easy to get along with, kind to her siblings, helpful when asked, and generally a great kid. She really wants to improve her organizational skills, but I'm not sure how to get her there. Life was so much simpler when she was younger. :tongue_smilie: To summarize: if you don't need as much structure as some, how do you manage your lives well? Or, if you're more structured, but have a teen who isn't, how have you managed to teach your teen the necessary skills? What tools have you used? What systems have been helpful? I hope this makes sense. I feel as though my thoughts are all over the place. I didn't get much sleep last night because I was stressing out about this problem.:glare: Lori

Is it Googol Power?

Yup, I'm getting very familiar with them. Sometimes I can even answer questions on the phone without having dh call customers back. :D Occasionally I will have trouble reading dh's handwriting while writing out the work description on an invoice, and he'll get a good chuckle out of the words I end up with. Lori

I manage the home office for my dh's electrical contracting business. While this may seem like a unique situation (not everybody can work for their dh), most of my time is taken up with the bookkeeping, which is something anybody can do from home, even if you don't own your own business. I do all of the invoicing, banking, bill paying, payroll, tax remitting, and anything else that comes up. It's difficult to tell how much time it takes me, since I tend to do it in small chunks throughout the week, and then spend a chunk of time on the weekend making sure I'm caught up. To answer your question, yes, it can be a hassle. The older I get (I'm 44), the harder it is for me to multi-task. I sometimes feel as though my head is going to pop off with the amount of things I need to keep track of because of the many hats I wear. I'm just recovering from a couple of months of major burn-out, and looking for ways to simplify things so that I don't become overwhelmed again. Lori

:grouphug: Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Yuck. For the record, you have sweet, wonderful boys. I can't imagine why anybody would exclude them like this.:confused: Lori

:crying: That was beautiful. I have tears rolling down my cheeks. What a beautiful gift you've given that family. Lori, who will now go have dinner with her family, and need to explain why she's been crying...

:iagree:

When my boys go for a sleepover, they pack their favorite dvds and extra Wii remotes. I always know they won't get much sleep.:lol: Lori

I think it's fine for an 11 year old. Take a look at my post for more details. There is quite a bit of violence, but I tend to be more concerned with se*ual content for my children than I am with violence. I don't think that watching violent movies leads to violent behavior, since we're not all inclined toward violent behavior. On the other hand, I do think that watching se*ually provocative movies can jump start the natural desire that all people have (we are all inclined toward se*ual behavior;)). This movie didn't have that element, imo. Lori

:iagree: I already posted similar comments, but I thought I'd add that dh and I took all four children (ages 16, 14, 12 & 9), and although I'm quite a prude, I didn't find the nudity a problem at all. BooKs were small and covered, and a bare bottom with a tail coming out of it just doesn't seem like a bare bottom:). There was no se*ual content, other than one fairly passionate embrace. As for the Americans, the more I think about it, the more I wonder why anybody is assuming they are Americans. The only reference to them being American is that some are Marines. They are from earth, not necessarily America. There. Now I've given my four cents. Lori

I just came home after watching it, and I really liked it. I'm Canadian (as is the director), but I didn't think it was anti-American. Sure there was an evil Marine, and a corporate bad guy, but there were also some very nice scientists who seemed to be from the same country as the bad guys. There was one line in the movie that was along the lines of, "If they want something, they call whoever is sitting on it an enemy, and then they can justify taking it." I'm not sure if that's anti-American, or just anti-anybody-with-power. I also didn't think it was overly environmentally focused. The link to nature was more of a spiritual thing than an environmental issue, imo. The scientists discovered that the trees all had links that were making more connections than the human brain (or something like that), and the blue people had a relationship with all living things. That said, I don't go to the movie theater very often, so maybe I was just in awe of all the special effects in 3D and missed the flaws.:D Lori

I didn't do anything to prepare, but my parents, who spend their winters in Mexico, stayed home that year for Christmas, just in case. It turned out to be a good thing that they stayed home, since my maternal grandmother ended up having a heart attack, and had to have emergency quadruple bypass surgery on January 1, 2000.:001_huh: Lori

I bought most of these used last year. I had hoped to get my dc to read them, but they didn't enjoy them. Lori

We are also employers. We gave each employee something different (the Canadian tax laws allow us to give a give of up to $500 without the employee having to pay income tax on the gift, so we try to take advantage of this). We gave one a Wii, one a mini laptop, and one dish cloths and tea towels (we asked him what he wanted, and this is what he told us :D. Dh also gave him some nice drill bits he asked for). Each year they get something for dh. Last year they all pitched in and bought him a PVR/HD box for his home theater. This year one gave him gift cards for movies and pizza for the entire family. Another gave him a $100 gift certificate to a nice restaurant, and the third gave him a tin of chocolates. They usually give me a nice liqueur. We're pretty happy with our small little company. We all left a bigger company to start this one three years ago, and we're enjoying the benefits. Lori

Thanks for the links. Interesting reading. Dd's (hopefully) future school seems to have only co-ed dorms, but there are private rooms available, and bathrooms are separate for men and women. I believe first year students are required to live on campus. Lori

I was reading the thread about homeschooling being detrimental to emotional development, and some commented on the dark side of dorm life: My oldest is 16. Her preferred university is in another city. We have a university in our city, but it doesn't offer the program dd wants. She is looking forward to being in a dorm, and being a part of campus life. Now I'm wondering if I should start preparing her to be open to the idea of living off campus. Has anybody had a positive dorm experience?:confused: Lori ETA: She still has a couple of years before she leaves for university. She'll be 18 when she goes.

This is something I've been encouraged to do, but I need some guidance in narrowing things down, and choosing well. There are way too many options out there.:tongue_smilie: It's quite overwhelming. Lori

Everything he sells us has a DFC (deferred sales charge). What this means is that you can't take it out of the fund for 6 years without incurring a penalty. During the 6 years that it is in the fund, our PFP (personal financial planner) gets a monthly "trailer fee" that comes out of our mutual fund management expense. This means that even if our mutual fund is losing money, our PFP is still getting paid.:glare: No, dh is very busy with other clients. The issue is more about "word of mouth". Our PFP knows a lot of people in our city. It's a city of about 100,000 people, and word of mouth is a major form of advertising for our business. Dh knows that the type of custom job he's doing for this client is very tricky, and if the client is upset with dh, it would be easy for him to find fault with the system dh is installing. To say that we've seen our PFP act vindictively would be a bit of an understatement. He tends to be quite aggressive and defensive toward people who he feels have "wronged" him. Even when we ask questions about our portfolio's poor performance we come up against every red herring in the book, and never get straight answers.:confused: I know it's a blind spot in his character. Lori