I admit I absolutely HATE the monster who targeted my son and hurt about 20 other kids. My mind goes to places it shouldn't when I think about what I'd like to do to him. My older son, who was NOT the monster's target, had nightmares for years about beating and killing the monster. I think people are amazing who can find compassion and forgiveness. I am not one of them.

EMDR would be fantastic for a traumatized kid, but play therapy has never been recommended by the leading therapists in this field. I am assuming at 5 and traumatized, there are likely attachment issues going on. Melissa, how do you feel about converting them back to their infancy? Rock and bottle feed (or lollipops if the infancy thing is strange for you) and cuddle as long as possible. It will be more difficult wuth twins, but this is what first started to make real change in my dd.

I didn't realize you had such young kids!!! Bless you!

I have helped so many injured and sick animals. I truly believe that this, along with working in my home with special needs people, has truly seemed to help my daughter develop compassion. I do believe she cares about the animals and people. She is within arms length at all times. I never allow her the opportunity to help a defenseless animal. I have a blind dog and a dog who was paralyzed. She is no longer paraluzed but is weak and has pain in her back which we are still treating. I just won't take a chance. I don't think she would tey to hurt the animals again, but I won't rusk it. She WOULD vandalize the home. It js a lot of work, but again, I never believed we would have gotten as far as we gave. I was never able to get her into therapy so I did all my research and implemented my own strategies. She was severe RAD, but we honestly only have issues once or twice per year and they aren't even big issues anymore.

This has happened to me more than once and I will never forget it. Ever.

Another duplicate because I don't know what I'm doing.

Dup

I would also expect them to help with cleaning or doing something around the house. We are older now, Remuda, and it is only right they pitch in. My kids are a tremendous help, the minors in the house and my oldest son, but thankfully I rarely ask for help. It may just work out that way for you.

I agree that rules need to be established up front. I think there should be cooking schedules and they should be paying rent and a portion of the groceries. I woukd also assign scheduled days for laundry room use. I do that now because I only do laundry for two people. Everyone else does their own including dh. He gets the washer on the weekends since he works all wee long outside the house. I only had short stints with my adult son during college breaks but will be following this thread as this very well may be our eventual scenario.

I had no idea. I also wish there was some level of protection for young men who are lied to about age. I am thankful my boys are beyond this stage.

I guess I don't remember accurately because I thought they were older teens. I can only imagine how that technique would work with older teens!

You may temember that my daughter first tried to kill our cat at age 3. I am an animal lover and an animal rescuer. My only peace of mind comes from keeeping her in sight at all times. I don't think we will ever know all the triggers our kids face. :( I always read that once they did kill an animal, they would want to do it again so I never take that chance. That said, she is VERY hands on with the animal care. She us awesome at it. I also have a special needs adult living in the home and have numerous respite clients. Between all the rescued animals and the SN people, I truly believe she has developed a compassionate heart. There is hope.

I had a dog with dementia but only #1 applied to her. I also had a cat with brain damage. She sounds more like your dog. She would forget how to go through the cat door and sit there and wait for someone to open the door for her. She would face corners for no apparent reason. She would dig holes outside, squat, look around and forget what she was supposed to do, walk away, then dig a hole and go to the bathroom. :( Try putting more area rugs down and also consider doggie booties before she hurts herself.

Oh, thanks, but she is all better and back in the barn. I honestly didn't think she would make it.

Such a waste. It saddens me to no end.

Melissa, I haven't been on much at all. Are these kids young and new to you? Please PM me and let me know how your older kids are doing. My life is not normal at all, but we are living peacefully and happily. My RAD almost never acts out anymore but is still within arms length at all times. I never dreamed we could live peacefully and happily with her. Still, I could never do this again. I admire you so much!

Ottakee is right. I have read and been told that 90% of the work and healing is in the home. I found working with an expert via phone worked best for me. The locals were a waste of time. Also, the huge success rate I speak of is not restraining and encouraging rage reduction, it is gentle and is teaching the chuld to like human touch. My daughter TOTALLY resisted human touch, would turn her back to me when held and was stiff as a board. The holding time I did changed all of that, but it sounds nothing at all like what you are describing this whackadoo does.

Not with a child with trauma and attachment issues. Time alone with the therapist has proven to be a time where the chikd lies, manipulates and triangulates the therapist and parents. It is well known that if you have a RAD child, the parent is to be present at all times.

Holding has been around forever. It has a huge success rate, is highly controversial, and is dangerous if not done right. I can't remember the technical term, is it holding therapy? If I had a child that lashed out physically, I would use it. And PLEASE, nobody bash me for saying this. I have a TON of RAD and trauma experience. I have never used it in a restraint type of situation with my dd, but I did use holding time when she realaly didn't want anything to do with being held. She was so opposed to human touch for the first couple of years of her life and she was only 14 months old when I travelled to China to get her. I encouraged eye contact and had her sucking on lollipops and bottles while I spent hours rocking her. She learned to love and crave human touch. But what you are explaining sounds entirely different. Would the restraining be used if physically lashing out, or would you use it and try to get them to scream? I am not sure the latter sounds natural and would work or even be healthy. My biggest red flag? You NEVER leave a RAD child or one with an attachment disorder alone with a therapist. I have also met Dan and have consulted Heather Forbes and Nancy Thomas' assistant. I would never allow that and any expert in the field knows this is never acceptable. Edited because I suck at touch screen typing. 😆

Aaah, the sensory overload. It gets to my cliebt and RAD daughter every time. It is so hard to balance at times. I am pushing for CBT for my client. Has it made a huge difference? Does your son go alone or do you go as a family?

I have never met an unfriendly Indian immigrant. They are always so nice and polite. Since you never got a weird vibe, I would think nothing of this situation. It was nice of them to extend an invite. I would just tell your daughter to make sure she stays by her friend at all times and brings her if she needs to go to the bathroom. I do this all the time anyway. Well, I did when my kids were younger.

I recently had to bring one of our barn cats inside because she got very sick and needed medication 2 x daily. I was certain I couldn't medicate her in the barn once she felt better. I put her in a small storage area, about 8 x 8 and to my surprise, she immediately took to the litterbox. I also rescued a mama cat and her kitten recently. I am converting our large room above the garage to my office and making it a cat haven. I find they like dark, cluttered places to hide, and this is a very large, bright, NON cluttered room. I scattered my Chrwy boxes all over while waiting for the cat tree to come. I also found that they LOVE the tunnels wh8ch cats can crawl through. You can connect two or more. I also have this cute little cave like thing which is made from material. Got it ay Walmart for like $18. So plenty of places to hide are good. I also found that the favorite toy for all four cats is a round flat disk with cardboard in the middle which I sprinkle with catnip. It has a ball they can roll around inside, it doesnt come out without human effort. Lastly, I had been looking at cat scratchers for some time. The one I wanted was almost $300 but I ended up getting an ever better one on chewy.com for $90. They have the best prices by far. My barn cat was isolated to the storage area because the vet didn't know if she was contagious. She never figured out what was wrong with her either. She just collapsed and was bleeding from the rectum. Anyway, she did adjust to the indoor environment effortlessly but would scream for attention. I do believe your cat is going to be bored and will need time to adjust. If it is too difficukt for her, I wonder if a friend would be an option? Do you know if she likes other cats?

Catalytic, my fpur dogs and four cats DEVOUR it! I add a can of cat food to the cat's HK, and add raw meat to the dogs.

I just want to encourage you to keep plugging on with doctors until you get the answer you know is right. My daughter has Lymes and doctors kept telling me she was fine when they couldn't find anything wrong. Then they kept telling her she was depressed. One doctor questioned anorexia. This enraged me because my daughter couldn't stop eating and yet looked skeletal! I was told ahe had a high metabolism. This was a serious concern of mine for years! Your aon's symptoms are heartbreaking. He must be so terrified. Don't get discouraged if you don't get answers quickly, just trust your gut and keep plugging along. It took us 4.5 years and 33 doctors before we got our answer (and *I* was the one who insisted they check for Lymes!) She is thriving now.

Thanks, jelbe5. I clicked the check in the upper right hand of your post. Is this "liking" it? I have felt tremendous relief since his freedom was taken away. I can't think of a single time where my intuition was wrong. All moms have it