Oh this is good! Especially since DH is Chinese! He doesn't really speak it, but dd19 is doing a Chinese minor so she might could help out!

That's a good idea! I'm sure I could incorporate that, too.

This is the first full year my ds 9 has been in public school. (He started half-way through last year.) This afternoon, I got a call from the school counselor. Ds 9 got in trouble for saying, "Someone give me a knife so I can kill myself" at school. He was joking--he can be very dramatic--but school policy meant that 1) the school counselor needed to talk to him, and 2) she needed to follow-up with a phone call to the parent. I appreciated the call. She was very nice. She recognized that he was just joking and wasn't concerned about his safety. But ds 9 wasn't very cooperative with trying to come up with other ways of voice frustration. I have talked to all my kids (6 kids, ds 9 is the youngest, oldest is 22) about not using violent language or gestures and the need to be extra cautious about what you say when you're at school or out in general, cause not everyone understands when you're joking vs being serious...and serious things sometimes happen like people killing themselves or others. Some things you just can't joke about! I also know that ds 9 has picked up on some things from his older siblings and their friends and such, and I suspect that's contributed. But you just can't say things like that at any grade level! What makes this especially frustrating to me, is that the counselor had literally just finished talking to his class, introducing herself and talking about how to ask for help and what to do/say and not do/say! [where is that head-banging emoji!] I'm willing to bet that ds 9 was bored by having to listen to a lecture and in his own way, was responding by challenging the counselor to a battle of wits. He can be a bit of spitball. He's cute and smart. And he knows it. So, dh and I are going to have another talk with the kids at supper. But I want to come up with a different strategy. My crew loves memes and making references to various shows. "I got that reference!" is a common saying in our house. I'd like to give him some creative options of 1) expressing his frustrations and 2) if he has to challenge or make a game of something, he can use this as a way of doing that. He can have his little challenge (and see if the person "gets the reference") and have a way of venting frustration without ending up in the school counselor's office (or worse)! But I am totally drawing a blank! I know the rest of the kids will help think of things, but I'd love to have some to get them started. We love Marvel, so any references from those movies would be sure to be understood. Ds 9 also loves Pokemon and Ninjago and Minecraft. What are some quotes or memes that express frustration or anger or boredom without being violent? Please help!

I think Hank does a really good job explaining things:

I've had trouble with Command strips in high humidity situations. One option is getting the ones for outdoor or bathroom use. Those usually stick better. To get them off, heat them with a hair dryer for a few minutes before trying to remove. (I got that tip on here!) If humidity is the issue, I don't think washi tape will work better either, at least not in my experience. Poster putty does better, but not the best, and it seems to leave a residue behind. For my dd's dorm, she's allowed to use push pin tacks. Those hold up quite a few things. If she can use push pins, these might also be an option, and they can hold A LOT.

Klaire Labs is the one that my naturopath gave me. But it's expensive! I take it for me, but I can't afford it for the whole family. I just make sure they get a good yogurt every day that is just good cultured milk with the live active cultures and not anything else. Usually that means Dannon plain.

probiotics...your gut health is tied to your immune system, healthy gut flora will help protect you from "harmful invaders" 😉 As soon as school starts in the fall, I make smoothies in the mornings with yogurt and Emergen-C Immune+ (has vitamin D & zinc) for my crew, and they've done very well with that. I don't do that during the summer months because I expect them to be outside a lot more, so IMO not necessary (they get lots of natural forms of vit D & probiotics from playing outside), and we don't have a set schedule as much. My crew has done very well with that approach. I also do daily elderberrry syrup once flu season kicks in. I keep an eye on the CDC's flu chart to stay up-to-date on that.

In my area, yes, to be in style, snug-fitting all the way is required, be it skinny jeans or jeggings. Personally, I'm loving this. I have a very slender dd and the stretchy jeggings fit her soooo much better than anything else. She's covered and things don't gap or fall off her.

I've heard the thing about HPV and warts, but it's a little confusing to me cause apparently there are different kinds of warts and the virus itself is actually pretty common...just lots of things up I haven't researched much...but my question would be this: if the virus behind the wart is contagious (and I understand that it is), how is it spread? Is it through contact with the wart itself? Or do bodily fluids (like slobber and snotty noses) carry the virus? Cause if it's the first, asking for simple Band-aid cover might be worth it. But if it's the last, then at that point, there's really no reason (IMO) to bring it up. Just clean like you regularly would to avoid all the germs passed around by little kids.

Upper abdominal pain when drinking (especially water) and lying down does make me think of some kind of digestive issue like reflux. If that's what the doctor is thinking, then the Tums & Pepcid makes sense. But it doesn't make sense in light of her earlier symptoms like the shaking or the staph. So that makes me wonder if the doctor fixated on an easily identifiable issue and dismissed the others? Does she feel better w/ the Tums & Pepcid? Like Pen, I'm wondering if it's only or mostly water that gives her issue. Can she drink milk? The shaking makes me wonder about sugar levels. I get very shaky when my sugar levels drop. There are a lot of questions, and I'd be wanting more than "come see me on Monday" too. If she's not feeling better, I think I'd be heading to the ER again. Sorry you're going through this.

This is a great thread! I just wanted to chime in with a couple things: 1. Someone commented about it being rare for a person to reject their faith just because they realized it no longer made sense to them. I don't think it's really accurate to say it's rare. Several people have already posted, and now I'm adding my voice, that we did not have some traumatic experience that precipitated the change. It really was a simply a change in belief solely because we didn't agree with what we had been taught. I have also learned not to be so dogmatic about belief. I was 100% certain of my faith 15 years ago. I just wanted to "dig deeper" to have a better relationship with God. But when I dug deeper, that 100% fell off a cliff. Now I know better than to say that anything is certain, and I also have a lot more grace towards people who believe differently. My default view of Joshua Harris's statements is that he just grew and his beliefs changed drastically, and with his larger worldview (IMO) he realized how narrow-minded and hurtful he had been to certain groups of people, and so he owed them an apology. Of course, I know better than to say that I'm sure of that 😉 . 2. After I asked a lot of the same questions being thrown around in this thread, I finally settled on reincarnation and for the most part, the way Edgar Cayce presented Creation. I don't agree with everything he taught, but it helped re-frame how I thought about things. It is a totally different way of looking at things than evangelical Christianity. I think it has more things in common with LDS and Greek Orthodox, but it doesn't line up with those either. (I admit, it took a long while for me to finally say I believed in reincarnation because coming from my Christian background, that belief was literally laughed at.) 3. At this point, I believe that we have freewill within a framework. We do have freewill in making the choices that are presented to us in our life, but our life path was set in motion before we were born, so there are certain aspects that we don't have freewill over. I don't believe in total freewill, because to me, that would be chaos. Everything works under prescribed rules, and life is no different. You can exercise your freewill and choose to run, walk, jump, sit, lie down, etc. But you still have to contend with gravity. That's how I view freewill. And as a side note, other people have the freewill to act against you as well. They can put objects in your path or try to tie you down. But there is nothing--no rope, no chain--that they can use that will ultimately override your freewill. It can however, make it extremely difficult. So anyway, I just wanted to throw those out there, just as other points of view in this discussion.

Quill, I think we must have come from a similar religious background! So much of what you say mirrors my experiences! But in my experience if you believe the bolded, and especially the underlined, then you can't really be saved, or at best you're apostate. It's kinda weird, cause I have actually listed it out something like that, and the response I got was along the lines of: "Of course that's true for ancient people or the 'unreached' who didn't have the Bible, but we have the Bible, so..." and then they launch into all the reasons why what you just said was wrong. The disconnect is staggering.

I saw this, too, and appreciated his willingness to apologize and to be upfront about his changing beliefs. It can't be easy to do something like that with the world watching you, knowing that a lot of people that he has probably looked up to and/or considered friends are now going to alienate him. Paradigm shifts are just really hard, and I can't imagine having everyone watching and judging all the while. From https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/29/author-christian-relationship-guide-joshua-harris-says-marriage-over

I live in Georgia, we have really high humidity, but I've never had anything not dry in one sunny day, not even towels. Maybe it's that much hotter here? But I wonder about your washer and how well it's wringing the water out. Is there a way to get your washer to do an extra spin only cycle? See if that helps?

Are you sure you're not talking about MY daughter? 13 years old, mid-back length hair, fine but thick curly hair that easily tangles, hates showers especially washing hair??? That really sounds like my dd! I have bought multiple types of shampoo, very nice shampoo, leave-in conditioner, etc. None of that works if she refuses to use it, or only uses it occasionally. I have decided that as unkempt as it looks, I am only going to worry about making sure she keeps it clean. If she's content with channeling her first-year Hermoine Granger (as I've put it) then fine. It's her head. I suspect that as she gets older, she'll decided what to do about it herself. Until then, I'll supply her with the necessary tools and products, but if she wants to leave the house with a frizzy mess, it's on her. No matter what I say or how I say it, she's still 13, and I'm just a nagging mom. I've already crossed similar bridges with her older brothers, so it's kinda BTDT for me. Their choices in clothes. And the body odor. Aack!!! And the battles. (Take a shower already! Wear deodorant EVERY DAY! And could you please just make sure it's matching and there are no stains or holes? Please?!) At this point, I've really learned to just let go and let them make their own decisions. I keep my firm line at hygiene. Beyond that, it's their lives. For all of them, if they have to dress a bit nicer, I lay out specific guidelines: take a shower, wash your hair, wear nice jeans, etc. But I try not to do that too often. They're much more willing to give in if I keep it occasional (and when it's really important to me) and let them have more control every day.

^^This. I get that going to trial is traumatizing and re-victimizing. I get that without proper evidence, a plea deal may be the best a prosecutor could do. But the fact that the judge decided against the prosecution's request is one of the reasons that I'm angry. Grrrr. I'm going to stop now before I rant further. 🤬

I have no words....just anger, a lot of anger

My thought on reading that was: who's got the 6 yr old while she's in the store? Seems possible that someone could have held the kid hostage while sending her into the store to get supplies to make the "suicide" seem more real. Or maybe she did commit suicide on her own, but maybe they also talked her into it (that everyone would be better off). Maybe they put her up to it. In which case, I would still put her death on them. Regardless, there's a lot of unanswered questions, and it's all pure speculation. Why these men? How did they meet? Did the men stage the suicide? Did they convince her that she should? Did she sell her son to them? Did they take advantage of her/the situation? I've seen some really convoluted scenarios. People can be messed up. So I'm just saying, I'm not ready to suspend doubt on suicide.

I have a 19yo, sophmore in college. For her, an 11pm "curfew" is unreasonable. Granted, probably a good 5 out of 7 nights she's home by 9:00, but that's only because her current job ends at 8:00. Before that, she wouldn't get home from work until after 11:00. And then there's always the movie/game nights with friends and the long study group nights where everyone is prepping for some major test. Fortunately, she also has a great relationship with her boyfriend, and they help keep tabs on each other. They make sure to text each other when they get home to let the other know they got there safely. It helps that they're almost always awake at the same time anyway! It helps me not to worry so much. I wonder, Scarlett, if something like this would help you? If your ds had a friend that they agreed to keep up with, then you could put on some white noise and go to sleep knowing that if your ds doesn't get home, his friend will call/text you that he hasn't heard from him?

I have doubt. Suffering from depression does not mean suicidal. And I have to wonder how these two (at this point, seemingly random) men ended up with her child. It isn't implausible to me that they could have forced her to write a note and then faked her suicide. I'm not saying that's what happened. There's just a whole lot of unanswered questions, and at this point, I wouldn't throw that scenario out the window.

We don't have curfews, either. They're supposed to text us and let us know when to expect them and stuff, but that's more like what Caroline is saying...if you're not home when you're normally home, I'm going to get worried something bad has happened! It's a safety thing that's expected from everyone...someone should know where you are in case something happens and someone needs to go looking for you! Not like we tell every little thing we're doing, but especially if you're doing something outside the norm. As for noise, that's never been an issue. A little noise is made when people come in late or when they have to be up at 5:00am to go to work. But it's never been a problem. I have more issues with the dogs making noise than the people! But if a lot of noise was being consistently made, I'd be very hot under the collar!

If I'm understanding this right, you haven't seen one of these posts in over a year? You addressed it in IRL, took action, and you haven't been faced directly with it for over a year? If that's the case, then yes, I think it's time to let go and move on. Believe your dad when he said he didn't mean it personally, let it go and don't let it destroy your otherwise good relationship.

Google Keep & Google Calendar. I have both on my phone, and I always have my phone. It always backs up in Cloud, so I never lose it... which has historically been a problem with every other method I've tried. I like that Google syncs easily between my phone and Chromebook, so I have the information handy whichever I'm using. Google Tasks is also something I've also started using.

My dd likes Wings of Fire, too

I have not read Dragon Keeper, but I have read other Robin Hobb books, and I would say that they are definitely adult/teen and not suitable for an 8 yr old. Above is what I remember as well.