I live option 2. I'm happy. I've never known life with a helpful man. We've been married 13 years. He does make a living, which I guess I consider helpful.
Now if he just sat home all the time and didn't provide for us, that'd be a totally different story. I guess I kinda see that he is doing his job, and I'm doing mine.
I make him happy, we love each other, and I have no expectations, don't nag, and if he ever decides to do something nice, it's a big deal (like every blue moon, he'll mow the yard).