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Everything posted by Eliana

  1. Thank you, everyone! This has given her some great starting places and resources. As always, the Boards are an amazing source of information. ❤️
  2. One of my adult daughters took a break from college while having her first two kids, but would like to finish her degree (she had one year left as an English major). The kids are still really little, so, ideally, she would like to find an online option. Any suggestions?
  3. Rates of addiction and mental illnesses are not higher in people without homes than people with. (How to help those who have an addiction or a mental health need who are also homeless is still an issue, but housing first programs have been very effective.) (There's also the truth that being homeless can be deeply traumatic and isolating. For some healing from that takes time and support and opportunities to reintegrate into society.) As I mentioned before, many of the people living unsheltered are already working. And then there are the homeless kids - older teens who aged out of foster cqre, LGBTQ kids kicked out on to the streets, and younger kids whose families are homeless. Those kids are going to be looking for a way out too.
  4. Our homeless population continues to increase - as is happening in most of the large cities around the country. I can see that things might be better in areas with lower costs of living where a full time job is enough to live on, but so many of the homeless people I know here already have jobs. Where I live, and in the areas where I have contacts I'm talking with about these issues, more people are struggling and suffering. It's intensely painful to witness. Health care costs, rent, tuition, general COL are going up faster than the incomes of those in the most challenged demographics across the country - clearly with some pockets of exceptions, but this isn't just a local issue. ...but I am really happy to hear some good news from somewhere! Sorry, everyone, for the derailing!
  5. I'm not advocating for bubble wrap - but the ordinary risks of daily life and activity are different than those of tackle football, for example. And the risks you listed are not greater for people sitting and looking at their phones! ...and it someone developed a problem from too much sedentary time, the fix is easy... **there is no fix for brain injury** What people do with those facts, how individuals and communities weight the risks is going to vary - but we can't get to those decisions without looking clearly at the facts.
  6. I'm also seeing firsthand the number of people struggling to survive in my wealthy city - there are more people than ever in desperate economic circumstances. There are people for whom things have gotten better - and many, many others for whom it has gotten worse. Not trying to derail the larger conversation, but I don't want people's struggles erased in our perceptions & I believe this context is important, in many areas where we might make policy or social decision.
  7. As I said above, I'm basing my risk assessment on the lived experience of a close loved one and the experiences my friends on an international support group shared of their husbands, children, siblings and their experience of TBI. ...and those were **single** concussions, not multiple ones. I've seen so many people discover the brutally hard way that there is no reliable fix for a brain injury - and I cannot fathom understanding that and choosing to take on an avoidable risk of having my child face that.
  8. But the risk isn't instead of those daily risks, it is in addition. I think the question then becomes, what level of lifestyle alteration seems worth it to lower that cumulative risk? Bike helmets? Seat belts? Those have become fairly normal precautions parents feel are well worth the cost and minor restriction. For me, not playing sports that significantly increase that total risk of brain injury was a clear choice. Because, for me, there is not enough value added to be worth increasing my children's risk of brain injury. For other reasons as well, I would like to see competitive sports out of schools, more precautions in kids' sports, and better education for everyone about the risks of brain injury. Culturally it has been very minimized and I am glad to see that shifting. I'm also very concerned that young people in desperate need of path to college are choosing to risk their lives and bodies for the entertainment of others (and the profit of a few). And to the poster who doubted that people are choosing the military for financial reasons: I see homeless vets regularly who chose the military for financial need and the hopes of a path to financial security. Many of them now have physical injuries or illness from their service and are living on the streets, some in physical pain. Our economy might be doing well for some, but it is leaving an ever increasing number of people behind. We have to look at those facts clearly to understand the factors going into people's choices.
  9. Concussions can be life altering - brain injury has serious implications for someone's future education, career, and even relationships. I've seen TBI up close, in a loved one, but also in a support group for folks whose loved ones had TBI or ABI and I can never consider concussions trivial again. There is no sport or entertainment or exercise worth that risk. I hope that as people learn more about brain injuries and their consequences that our cultures around what is 'acceptable risk' will shift.
  10. I think class analysis is incredibly important, but I also know that I have all too often let my class lens obstruct what folks of color are trying to tell me about the role of racism, since it is something I am trying very hard to improve on, it jumps out at me more when comrades or kindred spirits do the same. I'm so glad you know there is nothing but positive intention and love from me to you - the challenges we are both striving against (from climate catastrophe to racism to income inequality) are both incredibly simple and amazingly complex. Discussion can help bring out the complexities - and help us focus on the simple urgency. I was chiming in on the 'don't erase this important component of a complex issue' side, you've been bringing home the larger context, both important pieces.
  11. There are (some) Black Britons who feel strongly that racism *is* a significant factor in this situation - I am uncomfortable with hearing that dismissed and this painted as simply about Meghan's American-ness, when there are voices with lived experience of being Black in England who are saying they see a more complex picture - and one in which race is a non-trivial factor. I don't have any capacity to argue about this couple or anything about their lives - as you've been dealing with fires and smoke, I've been worrying about getting coats and sleeping bags out to people living outside as our temperatures plummet and snow falls... the inverse of your experience of climate catastrophe and that highlights the growing income inequalities. ...but the racial component is one I think is worth spending some energy on. It is all too easy to explain away the impacts of racism as being all about something else - just as happens with misogyny, there's some other reason than gender that is plausibly presented as the 'real' reason for X, when those who know these issues better, or have lived in first hand can see clearly the role misogyny is playing in a situation. Here are two articles, from the perspective of Black folks in Britain that say their experiences there lead them to be certain race was a significant factor in this situation: [ETA I've used up my free view at the New York Times, so I'm not sure which of these is the one I remember reading a few days ago, sorry! I'll link them both.] NYT1: Black Britons Know Why Meghan Markle Wants Out NYT2: Black Britons Wonder What Took Harry and Meghan So Long and Daily Mail: Racism drove Meghan Markle out of Britain, say prominent black Britons including Labour leadership contender Clive Lewis. [Note: I only saw these because Black activists in my Twitter feed were talking about it and sharing some articles - there were others, but this is all I could remember well enough to pull up again - though I'm not sure that Daily Mail article is the right one, I remember there being more to it, but I might be conflating multiple things.]
  12. Oh, Taryl, love. I am so sorry. The image you used of last time around being hit by a truck and this time being tied to the train tracks is such a powerful one for the stress and sorrow your family has experienced - these past few months have asked so much from all of you, and I am heartbroken that this has ended with tragedy. You did everything possible, and you did it over and over again for months - you worked and prayed and cried and strived. You have been an amazing mother - to little Grant and to all your other children - through a nightmare of stress of fear and now grief. I hope and pray that as your family goes through the grief and healing that there is some space for you to, eventually, process the trauma this has been for you. Sending you do much love. May G-d bring comfort to you, and all who mourn. And may the memory of your precious little one be a blessing.
  13. Each time I took an under-18 kid to fly solo I got a gate pass from the airline. We waited in line at the counter and they printed one out for me (and often my little guy as well). ...and the person meeting them at the other end can get one as well to meet them at the gate. (I believe you need to request this at the counter when you get your pass so it is authorized ahead of time, but the airline does have a fair bit of discretion.) Even when a kid isn't nervous, it's a nicer way to be sent off and means an extra pair of hands for juggling luggage and company for the long trek to the gate from security. The airlines were all lovely about it and never hesitated to authorize the pass - for both drop off and pick up. If you want to go all the way to the gate with her, don't hesitate! They've all been fine flying with state ID cards - and that will remain true with the Real ID, but we did need to make sure their IDs complied with the new regulations. (In WA that meant getting an "enhanced" ID, but I'm sure that varies from state to state). Even with kids who have passports, I've preferred for them *not* to take their passport if they don't have to since they are much more expensive to replace, but ymmv. 🙂
  14. I am on day 6 of a brutal headache and not thinking as clearly - and this is a topic I find intensely painful to discuss, but here are some comments: Most importantly: ***I have seen absolutely no evidence that there is any more anti-Semitism in the Black community than in any other community. That untruth keeps cropping up - in my community as well as in the larger community - but it is not true - I find it to be a harmful misunderstanding that can get in the way of really addressing the problems.*** Please also realize that there are Black Jews, and Latinx Jews and other Jews of color... Jews are part of the group 'white people' and the group 'black people', the relevant dividing line is Jewish and non-Jewish and there is anti-Semitism in all sectors of the non-Jewish world. Please note, on the history piece, that Jews were heavily involved in the Civil Rights movement, which gave as much or more opportunity for Black communities to have a 'pendulum shift' as any experiences the white communities might have been having. Note also that supporting the State of Israel now or at its formation says *nothing* about how anti-Semitic someone might be. There is some deeply anti-Semitic Evangelical "support" for the state of Israel based on the fulfillment of some prophecies, not any caring about Jewish well being, there are political calculations about the region and role some see Israel having in it, there has been a desire to ship us off and having a place for us to go is then seen as positive... it's complicated. (Note that Hitler's first plan to was to ship us off somewhere - he'd have been thrilled to have somewhere that was guaranteed to take us. It was the other countries refusal to take us that led to him coming up with his genocidal alternative. There were literal boat loads of Jewish refugees allowed out, but sent back because no one would let us in.) And: opposing the policies of the government of Israel is not an attack on Jews. Sometimes the framings draw on dangerous narratives, but the opposition itself neither helpful nor harmful. (and there are many Jews inside and outside of Israel who have opposed or are opposing actions or policies of the Israeli government - as one would expect. We're a diverse bunch - there's saying: 'two Jews, three opinions' for a reason.) And: people can hold deeply anti-Semitic beliefs without thinking they have 'anti-Jew' sentiment. Your comment implying Jewish control of the media is a classic example of a well meaning person expressing a trope that has ugly anti-Semitic roots and that lends itself to anti-Semitic narratives. Those beliefs can then crop up when someone is distressed about something else and wants a scapegoat. A friend on the East Coast recently described the ugly hostility he's gotten from some Catholic and Italian community members over his work on the child victims of sexual assault legal changes - the hostility has brought out all kinds of stereotypes people probably didn't even realize they had. Under stress and in distress out subconscious dredges up things we might not have realized we thought - and uses them to frame a narrative to make sense of things, to give order to our perception of the universe. ...and there are those who deliberately use those beliefs to divert blame onto Jews. ...or who use the involvement of a Jew or some Jews in something to universalize the culpability. As with all forms of racism and bigotry, this is part of the water we swim in and all of us have absorbed some of it. We all need to realize that and recognize that having absorbed some anti-Semitic, and racist, misogynistic, etc thinking doesn't mean we're bad, hateful people... but does mean we need to start *seeing* that thinking and dismantling those assumptions so we aren't complicit in passing them on - because it is toxic, to the holder, to the society, and to those being dehumanized or other-ized.
  15. Yes!! (and all three of those are themselves separate, though they can get enmeshed.) ...but it can get tricky when people have absorbed anti-Semitic tropes without realizing it and then use those in framing their arguments. I think it is important for folks to be open to hearing that their *framing* is using toxic, dangerous tropes and to be willing to learn from that and find better ways to express their concerns and criticisms.
  16. The rhetoric that Jews are the culprits for societal ills has, historically, resonated strongly often within many vulnerable communities. In recent years, especially in places where local shops might have Jewish owners and/or there are Jewish landlords. Anti-Semitic tropes run deep in most cultures - though many people are often unaware of the history/weight of the stereotypes. Many of those unquestioned assumptions flare up in times of stress or in response to exposure to more overt slurs (the Pittsburgh shooting in the community my adult children and grandbabies live in was one such example). Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (to pick a source from a very different place on the Jewish spectrum than in my last post!) has a Twitter thread on being a good ally around Anti-Semitism within which are links to two other threads including one with some background on Anti-Semitism,
  17. Because random, often poorly trained people, with guns are a risk to everyone in such a situation. I started to type up a whole spiel about the various security choices Jewish communities have made and are making, but I will leave you instead with something written by a Chasidic Jew from Monsey, which includes a small clip of the Rabbi at whose house the attack occurred (and one of whose son's is among those seriously injured). Most of it is in Yiddish, but he says briefly in English 'if someone had had a gun, it could have been much worse'. (There are synagogues and other Jewish spaces which do have armed guards - my own shul included, and my little guy's school chose to hire armed guards this year. It isn't the approach I would choose, but I understand it. ) ETA: practical, the theological positions are complex and do not intrinsically rule out armed guards or armed civilians. (Saw your updated post and didn't want to ignore this part of the question)
  18. I see a significant difference between allowing an armed security guard and allowing attendees at religious services to carry weapons. I can understand the former and strongly oppose the latter.
  19. I'm not sophisticated at this at all, but I would do either white chiffon curtains or white blinds.
  20. One that does cold weather supplies for people living unsheltered. (Personally, I would pick a local, grassroots one that does direct outreach)
  21. Sometimes the decision of fault is heavily weighted against the person whose car collided with the other car, often because there is an assumption that a driver is responsible for not hitting another car even if the other car's driver does something stupid, illegal, and/or unpredictable. It isn't a reasonable person's standard of 'fault', but I've heard it is often how insurance companies roll. Good luck - I hope you can get someone to look at it sensibly.
  22. You do such amazing work, by the way! It is always inspiring to hear about it! ❤️
  23. That's a great question! And I think you're spot on in your historical comparison. Homelessness here in the States correlates with increasing income inequality and decreasing safety networks (both personal and public) and a lot of the public perception of homelessness is tied to things that were more true many years ago. Now, here in Seattle, a large number of the homeless people I know and/or work with are employed, some of them full time. (and that includes people living in tents in unsanctioned encampments)... and most of them are sober and mentally healthy. I also know some who struggle with, for example, crippling anxiety, or who are recovering from addiction, or others with intellectual disabilities. And none of them deserve to be stigmatized either for not having a home. There's one, amazing, brilliant young man who has read deeply and widely (he has quoted Camus and Tolstoy when giving public testimony to Council), he works part time, can't afford housing here, and has worked so hard to overcome some of his intense anxiety (getting to a place where he could speak in public took such courage and hard work). I love spending time with him and am humbled by the courage and reflection he's brought to his life and the work he's done being involved in his tiny house village community. So many of those who are homeless now are veterans, which is a deep shame on our country that we've abandoned them like this. Some with disabilities or other serious health issues. I know one who has been on the waiting list for veterans subsidized housing for an absurd number of years (he qualifies, but the housing isn't available and waiting list is heartbreakingly long). There's a young family whose baby was born with a hole in his heart and was med-evac-ed down to Seattle from rural Alaska (as I recall). He has part time work now, they have a Section 8 voucher, but have been trying to find housing with it (while also trying to find more employment). They might have recently succeeded, but the process is long and things might still fall through. Their baby is well enough to come home, but because of his medical needs won't be released to them until they have housing. Each person has a vivid, individual story, as varied as any of our other neighbors... and with an equal range of qualities. Their housing status doesn't define them, nor does it indicate how safe a person they are to be around. (For that matter, having mental health issues or an addiction doesn't, intrinsically, make someone less safe either - we've had the discussion here about how people with mental health challenges are more likely to be the victim of a crime than the perpetrator, and about the complexities of addiction, but, again, that isn't about housing status, it is a separate issue/discussion.)
  24. This is not true. I work extensively with homeless communities and chair the Community Advisory Committee for a tiny house village, and the correlation you are asserting is not borne out by the data. (And addiction rates in the homeless population are **the same** as in the housed population. A collection of people who don't have houses is no more likely to increase risk than a collection of renters or of homeowners. Risk is increased or decreased by the same factors for each group.). I'm emphasizing all of this because the misinformation and prejudice being shared causes enormous harm, both to individuals directly, and indirectly in policy setting.
  25. Yes, there are cases where a person who lives unsheltered has assaulted someone. My point was that someone's housing situation tells us nothing about how safe or unsafe they are to be around. I do understand that having someone close to us experience something makes those circumstances feel more real and urgent and dangerous, but it doesn't make them factually more dangerous. People without homes aren't fundamentally different from anyone else - they are as varied as those of us who are housed, with the same range qualities and challenges.
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