Jump to content



  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Eliana last won the day on December 12 2014

Eliana had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

15,723 Excellent

About Eliana

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling

Recent Profile Visitors

1,118 profile views
  1. I think being more aware of how we're responding & what's underlying it is such a great idea! When I'm dealing with someone close to me who has been very negative in recent years, I have found the most important thing for me is to not feel I'm responsible for their emotional state. I don't need to make it better, or make them see things differently, or offer positive spins... I can try to respond to the underlying pain/frustration genuinely & then try to shift the conversation to something else when I'm feeling pulled down by the negativity. ...but when I don't feel I have to f
  2. I was like that until I encountered loss and tragedy that I couldn't do that for. I'm still more Pollyanna than not & my glass is still half full... but there are things for which there is no fortunately that brings any comfort... I think believing that the blessings outweigh the sorrow is different from there always being a fortunately ending. For example: the sister of one of my dear friends was kidnapped, sexually assaulted, and brutally killed (at about 12, as I recall). There is absolutely no fortunately spin to put on that for her parents. Do they have many other ble
  3. Sometimes there is no fortunately. I think it's a great go-to pattern to look for one, though! ...but not with the expectation that one always be able to find one, or else you're doing loss & grief wrong. Sometimes there is no visible redemption for a tragedy. Sometimes things aren't okay, and aren't going to be okay. Sometimes we need to learn how to live inside that loss & sometimes that involves being able to name just how ***not okay*** things are. The general culture we live in isn't comfortable with that. We have so much trouble accepting deep grief, without a pr
  4. Oh, dear! No, I didn't feel criticized at all! I just wanted to be transparent, that we knew what we were choosing & while we don't regret it, it does mean there are some silver linings right now. Yes, please! That would be so lovely! I would hate to spend $ on something that ends up not being a hit & in this area it's been hard to tell what will click.
  5. If there weren't a pandemic, we'd still have him in school despite the challenges and downsides. (it's complicated, but a combination of religious learning needs & social needs, he's on the spectrum & building friendships means a lot to him, but is harder than average - and these boys are ones he's been close to since pre-K. ...and I'm not qualified to teach him Gemara at the level he's going to need (he has a tutor who comes to our porch twice a week right now.). ...but despite knowing the trade offs, I did have some sadness about the less wonderful aspects, and one of the smal
  6. My primary goal is for him to be playing with math, skills or concepts. He's my kid who has been in a day school all along (the older kids were all homeschooled for most of their k-12 years), but is homeschooling this year. He used to love playing with math, but lost that with uninspired math teaching in early elementary (he's in 5th grade now). He's regaining his confidence already, but I'm hoping to help him rediscover his joy in working with numbers, equations, etc. Finding the sweet spot where games are easy enough to not trigger fear of failure , but challenging enough to hold
  7. We've tried a few math games (including blockout & some others from that site + the 4 in a row game from TWTM multiplication facts book), but this one is my son's favorite. (It's free, but you can buy a package with variants). We're looking for more options along this line - things that feel like a real game, but are quick enough to be a good opener for our math lesson.
  8. Yes, she is still looking! That would be lovely, thank you. (She has two little kids & has been doing an amazing job finishing up her degree, but this assignment is worrying her!)
  9. One of my married daughters is taking a Criminology course she's been given an assignment to "interview a member in a criminal justice field" & "note the person's unique perspective on criminology & any contribution they have contributed to the field of Criminal Justice." This would be an easier assignment in the pre-COVID era, but is challenging now! If you, or someone you know is involved in criminal justice & might be willing to do a Zoom interview sometime next week, please message me! Thank you!
  10. Sending lots of hugs. If I were facing this situation, I would try to be clear where my own lines were & then attempt to communicate them in a way that is calm, clear, and not controlling. So, for me, I would not be willing to attend such a wedding, or to have my kids attend. I wouldn't want dh to, but I would respect his right to make his own assessments and choices.... however, if he attended such a gathering, I would need us to be quarantined from each other for 14 days after his return & we would need to talk through the logistics of how that would work. Ideally Dh would
  11. I took it for a kidney infection & had serious cognitive issues from it & later a ruptured tendon. I was told to stop taking it when the cognitive issues developed & they did resolve completely after stopping.
  12. I'm also in Seattle and I strongly disagree with how you are characterizing the protests here. The majority of what is happening here is absolutely protesting. You might not notice that from how some news outlets are covering this, but on the ground this is and has been about police brutality and racial inequity. I find the way you spoke about Summer offensive. There is no constructive purpose in bringing their gender identity or genitalia into the conversation. And, for the record, they were very much out there to protest about racial justice & police misconduct. (Not that I think
  13. I fall into that category. I'm Jewish and hearing the term used as a joke is deeply uncomfortable to me. It's not something that can ever be funny or lighthearted to me. I very much appreciate those who are reconsidering using this as they realize it could be upsetting. ❤️
  14. Qualifying for housing assistance is very different from getting it. The wait lists are really long (as in years) and the wait list is (at least here) capped, so you can't even get onto it except when spots open up. There is some aid earmarked for specific circumstances (vets, for example, but I know homeless vets who have been waiting for years for housing.). And none of these programs are being funded to the scale of the need, not even close. It's really heartbreaking seeing the personal impacts of this. And even once someone gets aid, it can be hard to get housing. I knew a ho
  15. I'm having some thoughts, and your post makes a good springboard to share them. (I love the way you engage with things, Katy, you encourage corresponding transparency and caring and thoughtfulness. ❤️ ) I think keeping an open mind about possible diagnoses is valuable, but I worry that the reassurances that it can't be *that* might be harmful, especially if Mercy's suspicions turn out to be correct. If the fear and grief and shame is around 'what if this is true', then I think saying that those of whom it is true are too awful for it to be true of her, and it must be something else
  • Create New...