just re-read this and it's a little scary!!! That is exactly what I see in the few 18-30 year olds I am around.

I was questioning too, but was assured by men in his life that, in his given field, he's a super hard worker. Somehow he's just lost perspective and I don't know what to say to him.

I think he came from a well-to do family and has just never had to suck it up and get on with life. He's stuck in 'victim' mode just now and I'm not sure who should be giving that swift kick. Obviously his parents, who are enableing him just now, have contributed to what he is and I'm not sure they see it. For his sake I hope he 'gets' it soon.

These are some ideas that I've been tossing around in my own head too. I think we forget that children not seriously contributing to the family/household has been a very recent turn of events. Until the industrial age really took over, kids helped so that life could happen. I'm not thinking we go back to child/slave labor :D but I do think we're robbing our kids when they spend many years 'getting' and not 'contributing' whether that be in $$ or work. No wonder they're shocked when they get their first paycheck and the government has gotten to it and, God forbid, they have to give some of it up to pay bills or to eat. You have some great ideas!

My first though is, if they want to invite people they should volunteer to do Thanksgiving. It's rude to invite someone to someone ELSE's house without checking with the hostess first. To OP: is there an issue with sitting down with dh's family and saying, "Guys, we'd like a break next year. Would one of you like the blessing of hosting Thanksgiving for the family?"

btw: I think if he was required to at least pay some rent it would force him to get a job, ANY job where the letting him move home and not contributing is allowing him to go 2 years without a paycheck and blame the rest of the world for his bad luck in not being able to get a job in HIS field making the amount a $$ he thinks he deserves. I've been thinking about this too. I think part of the problem is that we let kids mooch ALL the time. Part of being part of a family is contributing, whether it be in chores, helping out with siblings, etc. As a child is older(late teens) we do them a disservice by allowing them to make $$ and totally blow it on themselves. I know my brothers got full use of the family car, I had to do their laundry all because they 'worked.' Well, all their $$ went to souping up cars and stereos, not the family and most definitely not to benefit me. If I were going to allow an older child/children to live with us (and I'm not opposed to it AT ALL!) I think they need to contribute, whether that be in $$ or work around the house. If they are working outside the home I think I'd still take 'rent' $$ and set it aside for them just to teach them that their paycheck isn't for their enjoyment. We're supposed to be raising our children to be responsible adults and yet I think we shoot ourselves in the foot by not showing them the realities of having a job and supporting themselves. jmho :001_smile:

:D

The men, whom he seemed to be seeking counsel from, told him the same thing. Get work, ANY work, it looks better on any resume than. . I sat home for 2 years.

Thanks all. This gentleman was bemoaning his 'fate in life' and every.single.thing. suggested in previous posts was said to him(not by me but by men). Unfortunately, he seems to fall in the realm that some have mentioned, he was allowed to move 'home' and hasn't hit bottom hard enough I guess. Doesn't understand why people are frustrated with him. I wondered at some point if it might make more of an impact if I was the one talking, from the woman side of things?:tongue_smilie:

Thanks for the heads up. My niece is attending there this year and a cousin attended 30 years ago. Going to listen in now.

Single man in 30's, has degrees in a specific field, hasn't worked in 2 years (there really isn't work in his field) and yet the 'whole' world is against him. Thinks it's crazy to work ANYwhere for less than what he thinks is his due with degrees. Yet hasn't gotten a paycheck in 2 years. What do you say to this person?

:iagree: I need to have dh read this because he thinks I'm crazy when I say this. It's almost impossible to find, esp. slim, jeans at Goodwill or Salvation Army. Boys just kill jeans.

LOL! What a great idea!

I agree with you. These are all valid arguments for and against layaway.

:iagree:

Quite a few stores are bringing it back. I'm sure the credit card companies hate it and I guess if I were a store, it would be one way to take back power and $$ from credit card companies/banks.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/apnewsbreak-senator-warns-layaways-cost-14942491 This story says that layaway cost more than using a credit card. Was layaway maybe a better deal back when people didn't have credit cards? I guess I never thought of it as credit since you don't get the item until it is paid off.

Amazingly I've used this and have never had to carry out the threat :D I tell them if I come looking for it and find it in a fairly obvious place(or somewhere I've told them to look) then they are paying up!!!

EXACTLY!!!!!

It was on 90% of the less than 20 stations we get. Seemed just like the ones I've seen before.

There is a HUGE difference in being a mandated reporter and reporting that you 'THINK' a child is being abused(in any form) and walking in on a child BEING abused. ACTUALLY seeing it mandates you, as far as I'm concerned!!! agreeing fully with your second statement.

for the first time ever I need a 'sobbing' icon.

:iagree:

I guess I'm stuck here. How/why would a parent bring a child who wasn't invited?:glare:

praying here. God in Heaven, please hold this family close. Guide the doctors to an accurate diagnosis and be with the family as they walk this path. :grouphug: