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Homeschool Mom in AZ

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Homeschool Mom in AZ last won the day on April 16 2014

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About Homeschool Mom in AZ

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    Hive Mind Royal Larvae

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    I began homeschooling in 2000 when my oldest was 4. I have 3 daughters.
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    quilting and writing

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  1. If you want to spend time with your mom, you can do it less expensively with just her and you closer to home or more expensively by going to this wedding. If you want to personally connect with the friend, you might be able to do that briefly at her wedding, but odds are you won't-it's not typical and you have no control over it. If you want to be at her wedding, you have to go to the wedding. If you need to stay within a budget, then you have to look at your finances with some cold detachment taking all the factors into account and remember that it would be nice to go, but it's not a big deal if you don't. It's just a wedding. I think it's important to specify what your priorities are and different, if any, ways those priorities can be met.
  2. Is it possible she has a style uniform instead of a capsule wardrobe? An example of a style uniform would be tops all in the same color or a couple of colors (either white, cream, or black) but 2 are sleeveless, 2 are short sleeves, 2 are 3/4 sleeves, 2 are long sleeves, which could look like maybe 4 tops if each top that makes up the pair looks similar in cut to the other. People doing this add 2 jackets/blazers in a second color like maybe red or blue, a couple of sweaters in the second or a third color like blue and green, then bottoms in a range of neutrals (white, grey and black) that include a couple of dress pants in different cuts, an a-line skirt, a circle skirt, and a pencil skirt. Then there's a sheath or wrap dress in a neutral. Add to that some flats, pumps, and boots in the same neutral (maybe black) and a large bag of the same. They usually a pair of diamond stud earrings, small-medium hoop earrings, and dangley earrings in the same metal. That can be a generous wardrobe that all works together to cover all the bases. As long as someone shows up in clean, office appropriate clothing, I don't think it really matters if it's just 2 outfits. Who cares? Why do I have the feeling we wouldn't have this conversation about a man with 2 suits, one in dark grey, the other in navy blue, a white button down dress shirt, a light blue button down dress shirt, and 4 ties with different prints on them?
  3. Is it the number itself causing you stress, or is it the consequences to the rest of your family and your budget causing you stress?
  4. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Poll about what might be considered common knowledge in pet rescue

    No, not common knowledge. People like me are often the person the animal was rehomed to when great Aunt Nellie had to move in with her daughter who is allergic or took in the stray that was hanging around the backyard for a couple of weeks or took one of the kittens born to the stray under the friend's shed. There are a lot of people like me who aren't going through a rescue who would have no idea about that policy. Also, there are people who would worry about getting any future pets if they had returned one.
  5. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    What do you have hanging above your bed?

    I have a carved sleigh bed, so I don't have anything hanging over the headboard. I don't have anything hanging over the upholstered headboard in the guest room either.
  6. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Ugh help

    Marriage contracts are unique and not the same as other contract parents might have to involve themselves in. I can't think of any scenario where it's good for a 17 year old to get married. It's always completely necessary. The equivalence to pedophilia is about the power differential that absolutely exists in a 17 year old marrying a man 10 years older. While there may not be a magical difference between 2 months from 18 and 18, we have laws that set a clear boundary between childhood and adulthood and there's no valid reason to make exceptions before adulthood. None. It's an antiqauted law that was used to shield pregnant girls from the horrible social consequences of out of wedlock births. That's not reality anymore. Social norms are different than laws. The reason this isn't changing fast enough in the legislature is because these social norms are being supported in social situations. Think about the Civil Rights Movement. Government is downstream of society. If you want to see change at that level, you have start making social change in your life. So no, if one person chooses not to attend it won't change the laws, but if we have most people choosing not to attend child bride marriages the spineless politicians would be far more inclined to support legislation that outlaw child marriages. Spines are essential for bringing about change.
  7. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    s/o measles- skepticism and lifestyles

    Do people just focus on vaccines, or does focusing on vaccines get the most press because it's the most controversial and controversy gets the most attention from viewers/readers/posters?
  8. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Ugh help

    And we fundamentally disagree on how serious a moral issue child brides are. It doesn't pass the consenting adults test which all legal contracts should and the age disparity is equivalent to pedophilia since a minor is involved. No, I won't smile along with that kind of stuff that has such a terrible affect on children just so everyone else in the community feels emotionally comfortable in a tragic social event.
  9. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Ugh help

    I don't think it's kind to make the bride feel better in the moment. I think the kind thing to do is to obviously disapprove. It may be uncomfortable and tearful or everyone involved, but it's the kind thing to do in the long run. Like refusing to laugh along with a racist joke. Girls need a world where their clueless mothers know you won't get anyone to show up for a child bride wedding.
  10. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Ugh help

    Because she didn't explain any close relationship, which would be a relevant thing to mention in this discussion. Maybe if people stopped showing up to morally objectionable events that put girls in bad legal positions, clueless people would actually think twice about signing for their daughters rather and saying, "Honey, marriage is for adults. When you're an adult you can choose your own spouse. There's no reason in this day in age for a minor child to get married." We whine that there are social circles where this happens, but we're not willing to have social behavior that matches the moral objection to it. So on and on and on it goes that we allow minors to get legally married. Oh, a 17 year old felt hurt? That isn't as important as society saying, "No. I'm not going to support this very bad idea. I'll just decline and say that I won't be able to attend." If that's done a larger scale we might make some progress.
  11. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Ugh help

    I agree that it's weird to give permission to a 17 year old to marry. She should just wait until she's 18 because marriage is for adults even though our laws are woefully behind. If your mommy and daddy have to sign for you to get married, you're not old enough to get married. Yes, child marriage IS immoral in my book for all the same moral reasons we don't allow minors to enter into legally binding contracts, and hopefully it will be illegal in the US if we ever get enough sensible lawmakers in office. Adults make their own individual decisions. If one wants to attend and the other doesn't, shrug. To each his own on that. As a bride I certainly wouldn't want someone to attend my wedding if they were creeped out by it or opposed to it in any way. What's the point of going if you're upset by it? What is anyone getting out of that? I don't think society benefits when people feel obligated to go for the sake of a public show. Society is always better off when people feel free to decline for whatever reason. I'm not convinced the bride is at risk for being socially isolated and stuck in a bad marriage if Scarlett, someone not close to her, declines the invitation. If this were someone closer, then maybe.
  12. Depending on the state, adopting through foster care can be harder than in other states. It was almost impossible to adopt a foster child in AZ back when we were looking at our options. Of the 24 foster situations of people who had older kids, were told those kids were available for adoption, who were qualified to adopt them, and who tried to adopt them, only 3 succeeded. All the others went to extended relatives. Are you assuming they were all just "popular people" who had whatever "social motives" that one lady you mention had? Some foster parents specifically get into respite and other temporary situations due to different circumstances. Even kids who are stuck between their bio-parents' termination of rights/reunification after intervention and the limbo of extended family being sought out and vetted for placement (who, in many states, are given legal preference over foster parents who are willing to adopt them) need homes. Somebody has to do that temporary job. It's just as legitimate a job as adopting. I owe a deep deep debt to the foster mom in S.Korea who had no intention of adopting my youngest daughter. She did a great job whatever her motives were. The stated goals of US foster care are in order: 1. Reunification of foster children with their bio-parent(s) after the bio-parent(s) have received and responded to intervention services. 2. Place foster children with other bio-family members after a willing party has been located and background checked. 3. Allow the foster children to be adopted by their foster parents. If you're not seeing adoptions, it's likely because 1 and 2 are happening. When we're farther away from things, the simpler they appear. The closer we get to them, the more we understand their complexity.
  13. You should refrain from assigning motives to other people's adoption situations. Just because it's more common that it used to be doesn't automatically mean it's perceived by those doing it as fashionable.
  14. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    Mortified mailman (s/o stunt panty thread)

    Now, thanks to you, he has another interesting story to tell at dinner parties.
  15. Homeschool Mom in AZ

    how large of a gathering would you host in your home?

    I think having a floor plan that's more open is a bigger factor than square footage for hosting larger groups. Mild weather helps too because the outdoors can absorb overflow.
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