Penny_P
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Posts posted by Penny_P
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I'll try to summarize.
My 20 year old has a difficult personality. I homeschooled her for 2nd grade only. She and her father/ my husband have clashed since she was little. (I suspect he has mild narcissism- he tends to be emotional, self- centered, and gas lights- although I think he truly believes his reality, among other things. It's subtle though. Sometimes he doesn't fully commit to something and you think he has. IE our daughter really wants to move out- it was both of our understandings that she would be able to next year when returning to the university, until he laughed and said he never agreed to that. I had bought her basic apartment supplies at Christmas. Also, he is extremely cheap. Spending unnecessary money causes him physical pain. And, we have plenty of money, but you'd never know it to look at us.)
In high school she was diagnosed with depression and ADD. She is medicated for both. She graduated with a 3.49, went to a state school 2 hours away. She was tired of the drive and had a boyfriend in town, so she decided to come back. However, husband stated because she was losing her state scholarship she had to attend CC for the year, which she unwillingly agreed to. GPA was 3.1. The first semester she withdrew from her classes, which we had already paid for. She stated she hated that cc and wanted to be closer. She moved to the closer CC so the drive was only 20 minutes from the house. Pre-nursing classes.
Two weeks ago we toured a private Christian school- beautiful campus and friendly people. It was really quite lovely. Our friend's son was getting all sorts of scholarships supposedly making it cheaper than the in town state university option where she was planning to go this fall. She left crying saying that dad would never pay for it.
I told her that we should at least try. It's an environment that I thought she could thrive in, especially if we managed to have her live on campus. She qualifies for nothing with FAFSA. I was looking into scholarships for her and together we pulled up her unofficial transcripts from this spring semester, since we hadn't actually paid for her classes yet to order real ones. Straight F's. I was/am shocked. And, disappointed. I suspected her grades weren't good, but not terrible. She stated that she doesn't do well online and didn't want to go there to begin with. Only some of that was online.
She begged me to not tell her father, although he's been asking about her grades. There's no way he'll put any more money towards her education. I fear he will despise her. Withdrawing was bad. F's are far worse. It's burdensome to try to keep it a secret. Prior to that great reveal, I told her scholarships had to be her full time job. I don't think she's done anything with it, although we are still waiting for an official admissions letter. Instead, she's been looking into volunteering at a hostel in Europe this summer. The whole situation is really depressing. I'm alarmed she's made so many bad choices, especially knowing her father. I feel like a victim myself. It's his money, as I have been told from the beginning, since he makes almost all of it. I have very little say in the spending of any of it. He's a very clever, successful attorney and very good at manipulating words. I really want to advocate for her, but she's not stepping up either.
Anyway, that's as brief as I can make it. Any kind encouragement? (I posted similar on a Christian fb group- the admin refused to publish it stating that we were disappointing as parents and it was all our fault. Maybe she was right, but she was not compassionate in her response.)
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We are tagged to host Christmas this year. We’ll have about 25+ people. In the past family has served prime rib. This is $$$. I’m planning a ham. Other than turkey, what other meaty main course is affordable? I only have a single oven. Help.
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46 minutes ago, KSera said:
We use CLE LA for grammar, but we don’t start until 3rd grade. All the phonics and diacritical mark stuff is done by then and then grammar is still entry level. Occasionally there will be a lesson that has a brief section with something to do with pronunciation, always with a heavy reliance on using the shwa sound in a way we don’t use it, and my kids know to skip anything that “is all about the upside down e.” I can’t see any benefit to starting the program with a first or second grader (nor would I expect a first or second grader to be independent with LA work).
What do you use for LA until 3rd?
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I have used CLE LA and reading for several years. It’s a very good fit for my older kids. However, my rising 2nd grader gets very frustrated with the dialectical markings and the program in general. Although, honestly, he gets frustrated easily with many things, but can accomplish them fine when he’s focused. I’m wondering if anyone has another recommendation that is independent?
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In a nutshell: My 9 year old daughter used Spaulding at her charter for several years with little success for spelling. She would spell things according to the Spaulding phonogram rules, but it wouldn’t be spelled correctly. An eval at ps revealed IQ of about 107 and lowish, but passing, levels r/t her age/grade level. She did not get an LD diagnosis. This is her 2nd year homeschooling. She currently has vision therapy twice a week, where she has sort of plateaued. (I initially saw an improvement in spelling and reversals.) We are in the 2nd level of Apples and Pears.
Concern: She doesn’t seem to retain it most of the time, even during the same lesson, despite the repetition. I’ve used some of Spelling Success’s Barton games to lightly reinforce basic Barton rules, but they don’t translate into her actual work.
I had wanted to avoid the fiddliness of AAS with all the tiles, and I find the actual Barton program a bit overwhelming and confusing. Is there an open and go alternative? Or do I keep chugging away with AandP? We have only been doing half a lesson due to fatigue. Barton tutors are $$$. We had one briefly through Outschool but there wasn’t much rapport or retention with weekly lessons.
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It may be a zombie thread, but this is marvelous information. I will definitely give it a try. Bed alarms haven't worked well for me...
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So, I pulled my three to homeschool this year because Covid and assorted other reasons. However, I work two days a week and have only done a fair job of it. We did finally bring in a tutor on one of those work days to oversee school, and they are at a co-op of sorts on my other work day. I love the planning and the dreaming part of homeschool, but the actual execution has been uneven. I'd prefer not to put them back into public school. Does anyone use on-line options that they love? Prenda is big here in Arizona right now, but there aren't currently any microschools nearby. Just looking for options for next year that don't leave me so overwhelmed.
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Just a quick note to the OP. I'm also in healthcare and work in a clinic two days a week. If I had the option I would quit in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I need to carry the family insurance. Although my paychecks are low after part-time insurance cost, the benefits make that sacrifice necessary. Since it's the first year of homeschooling all three, it's been a challenge juggling it all: work, kids' school, housework, fatigue. My husband works from home but is in his office all day. At first I left out work for them to complete and came home to very little touched. Then I started working on their co-op day, which I had previously used for personal time. Finally, in January, I hired a tutor for 2.5 hours on the other day I work. It's made a world of difference. It's not a perfect system, but it is sure better than trying to catch up on the weekends or evenings. I'm still trying to figure out a better plan for next year. As it is, I'm pretty burned out. I'm planning to switch gears at the end of May and do homeschool light over the summer with fieldtrips, gameschooling, and maybe a unit study or two as I feel like we lost so much time the first 6 months of the school year.
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22 hours ago, PeterPan said:
heathermomster's interactive metronome instructions if you want to hack it with a free app
DS10. So.... this really opened up some interesting exploration. How do I find heathermomster's instructions? When looking at the IM stuff, prices are never listed- which leads me to believe it is NOT cheap. I did find one video of bouncing a ball to the rhythm of a metronome. He doesn't have sensory issues. I was hoping the OT would help me to help him as well.
22 hours ago, PeterPan said:Back up, what is going on with his speech?
Some lisping. Difficulty pronouncing the "L". He does have a mild tongue thrust. I am primarily taking DS10 for myotherapy- as his tongue thrust is pushing out his front teeth at this point. The ps ST thought that the myotherapy would help DS6 as well
DS19, dyslexia, really presented differently at this age- difficulty putting sounds to letters. He was a really late talker. He's a fantastic reader now, but his writing and spelling are still not good. Run on sentences and improper punctuation. I cringe when I edit his college papers.
1 hour ago, 1shortmomto4 said:When did you start the 100 lessons?
I started it over the summer. I didn't teach my other kiddos to read- they were in school. It just came with high recommendations and seemed easy to implement... I've hesitated with AAR. AAS didn't work well with DS19 and we ended up scrapping it. I didn't like all the pieces. But it looks like both Barton and Logic of English have a lot of pieces, too. DD8, who I am waiting on test results for, used Spaulding in her charter school. She had a difficult time applying the phonograms, which it looks like both of those systems use.... I like the Explode the Code workbook, but I understand that it is not a complete system. Hhhhmmmm....
23 hours ago, PeterPan said:And fwiw, all I was suggesting was an annual vision exam but getting it done with the developmental optometrist so they can *screen* for the developmental vision issues.
Made an appointment, but it's not until late November. Thank you. I will try to do the Barton screening later.
23 hours ago, EKS said:What that looked like here was 2-3 short phonics lessons/reading practice sessions throughout the day every single day including weekends and holidays.
This looks like a good idea. Not sure about holidays. Haha. But his attention/frustration levels are definitely better for short periods of time.
I had to pull out a notebook and start taking notes. Thanks again one and all!
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15 hours ago, PeterPan said:
if you back up from fine motor to gross motor, does he do better? If he draws them in sand or in the air or on your back, does he do better?
I'll have to try this.... I'm not sure. Do ps do the CTOPP? Arizona ps's are notorious for not diagnosing dyslexia. Although I think I saw a rumor that this is changing.
22 hours ago, sweet2ndchance said:Your son is presenting a lot like my youngest son. Have you had his eyes checked by a developmental ophthalmologist?
Not sure insurance would cover as we don't have "vision", but maybe that's just for glasses, etc. I'll look into that- at least to rule things out. I seem to remember vision therapy was a bit controversial several years ago on the boards. Some people swearing by it and others feeling it was a waste of money.
I had him evaluated at the ps for speech, but his issues were in the normal range for age. Waiting on DD8 results- our zoom meeting is the 5th- It was a process I started back in June. At least would be a free place to start, and I have emailed asking for an eval. (We're already paying out of pocket for DS6 and DS10 for myotherapy for tongue thrust.) DD8 gets OT for handwriting- which has actually improved especially since starting in person. We're looking into OT for DS10 for his ADD. 😞 Not sure how this is all supposed to fit in a week with my working part-time.
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22 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:
I don't have any kids with learning challenges, but we did do the 100 Easy Lessons book, so I thought I'd comment 🙂 . What was he having trouble with with sounding out? I know they teach that very incrementally... saying words slowly, then doing the letters you can drag out, using your finger, etc. Any idea where he got stuck?
He can slowly sound out each letter, but when we go back to the beginning and try and actually blend the word, he just adds letters that aren't there... For example, he'll sound out M-A-P, but then when blending it comes out mat or man...
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I read through the kinder posts in the curriculum forum, but I figure I'll come here instead with our family history. DS19- dyslexia, DD17- ADD, DS10- ADD, DD8- waiting on results from ps testing- has dyslexia/dysgraphia type presentation.
First, is it really normal for all of this to come out in one family? My husband and I never had any learning challenges- we were both in gifted classes. I'm starting to feel like that crazy mom who's looking for diagnoses for their kids. I promise I'm not- I'm far too lazy/busy.
So, with some of the family history, I decided to delay my kinder's start. He turned 6 in June. Then covid hit and I just decided to homeschool. (I had homeschooled my oldest to 9th.) I thought he would pick things up really easily. I bought How to teach your kiddo to read in 100 lessons- once again I try to keep things simple. I was sort of pulling him through, but it was obvious that he just wasn't getting it. He knows the letters and sounds, but blending CVC words was an issue. I stopped around lesson 25 or so. I have explode the code 1 and with ALOT of help he can sort of sometimes read it... He's good at math concepts (CLE1), but his writing is messy. He'll sometimes reverse digits. I've mainly just having him copy letters still for handwriting- but he hates it. He spells his name FiNNy after tracing it properly and won't attempt our last name. If he were 4, I would just back off, but he's six- a lot of his peers are already in 1st grade and reading well. Is it still premature to get testing? I know there's a wide range of "normal", but I guess I'm surprised that reading/writing isn't really clicking. Maybe I just need a curriculum overhaul....or just more games? What do you all suggest?
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Thank you so much for your responses and the link. Interestingly, his myotherapist last night suggested working with an OT that specializes in kids with ADHD. She has it herself and showed off her Ikea sit to stand desk that she raises during her zoom meetings. My older daughter uses medication on her school days and it makes a huge difference for her so I will try to make an appointment with the psych to revisit medication. Peter Pan has given me a lot to gnaw on in regards to structure, etc. He does tend to run off because his siblings are a distraction....but then he's still distracted. His best time is morning... after that everything takes so much longer to complete. I like to start the day with "morning basket" time, but maybe I'm wasting his best 30 minutes on that. I can push it until after lunch. So much to think about. And, thank you again for the responses.
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DS10 was diagnosed a couple of years ago. We did try medications without success- one made him agitated another made his appetite so poor he was dropping weight. I shelved that idea for a while after his pediatrician suggested seeing a psych to further assist. I'm not opposed to revisiting that idea. My trick when he was at school was to be the last in the pick up lane and his teacher would have him do homework to avoid the HOURS to complete the same work at home. Now that he's homeschooled I'm at a loss of how to get him to focus. I've tried a wobble cushion (meh) and the hammock (daydreaming). I'm frustrated. He has science and English once a week with a homeschool group. And getting the assignments done from that and his CLE math is about all the day has time for. He likes to disappear upstairs with his schoolwork that he just doesn't complete due to constantly being distracted. I also work part-time and I don't want it to be unrealistic to expect him to get some of that done independently while I'm gone, but maybe it is.... I did search the history here, and found some helpful suggestions, but was hoping for more....
Are there any good books for EF or websites? There are a plethora on Amazon and I don't want to waste time reading something that won't help, especially since it's the inattentive type. I've thought of maybe getting a parapro to sit with him. Other suggestions?
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Thank you for the responses. She used the Spaulding method at her classical charter last year and nothing seemed to transfer from the flash cards to her actual spelling. I am hoping that A&P sticks better.
So, what I am hearing is most writing should be copywork and a talk to text device would be helpful for higher writing. Suggestions?
I had enrolled her in an “English” class with a local homeschool group for 1st-3rd grade as much for socialization as my desire to outsource some of my classes. Now I’m wondering if that’s a good idea. 🤔We were really just doing a Little House unit to fill the month until it starts. Although, I was planning to continue with spelling at home.
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A brief summary- my oldest I homeschooled until about 9th grade. I suspect some dyslexic issues although never officially diagnosed. Failed at AAS and still spells terribly in college. We discovered Apples and Pears (thanks WTM boards!) but not until middle school.
I am homeschooling my 3 youngest this year.... My 8 year old has similar issues- reads about 2nd grade now (mind we were going to have her repeat 2nd before homeschooling), about 80% reversals of b/d, and spelling issues. She is having zoom OT sessions for handwriting. She's reading through Little House with some errors, but better than I expected. Her spelling is .... beyond terrible. She spells about 2/3 of her words wrong, even common sight words, and detests writing. We have started Apples and Pears level 1 over the summer and are about lesson 20.
My question: On her non-spelling assignments, do I correct her spelling? I'm worried this would discourage her. At the same time I wonder if she's not trying? For example, her assignment was to describe Laura's horses: "sooft eyys, dlak fere, litoll". I've kept written assignments very simple, since I know she struggles, but she should do some writing, right? Maybe I'm not doing enough writing? Help. I don't want to nag her either, but it's painful to watch.
Also, in trying to find answers, someone suggested card games from Spelling Success in another post. Thoughts? They look great, but $$$.
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On 6/10/2020 at 7:03 PM, wendyroo said:
By this time it is ~10am and the 2nd grader is finishing up with his work, but free play time doesn't start until after snack, so he and the K'er do sometime productively fun for half an hour: art, play outside, play a board game, the 2nd grader can read to the K'er, color, do a puzzle, play with snap circuits, help make snack, etc. Often one or both of the older kids joins in for this activity; this is a good break for them, and snack time provides a clear signal for when "break" time is over and the olders have to get back to work.
We all come together at 10:30 for a snack while I read poetry and a children's book in Spanish.
Wendy- What time do you start the day...? Trying to visualize our day a little better. Do you find that having this schedule works or does it get all messed up? With homeschooling one rather compliant kiddo, it just sort of happened. But I'm wondering if I should actually schedule the day. Just thinking out loud.
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So which subscription boxes are really worth it? They always look super cool, but with five kids (3 will be homeschooled- ages 6, 8, 10) I fear adding more clutter to the chaos or not getting around to using them. Can any be used fairly independently? Which would you not bother with?😁
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What is your favorite curriculum or educational supplement/subscription, assuming money is no object?
I’ll go first: Sumblox. (Does anyone have real life experience with this?)
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We've decided to pull our three youngest from their classical charter and homeschool this year. When I homeschooled my oldest, I poured over these boards- relishing the hours of researching the perfect curriculum for him. This time around, I just feel so tired every time I log on.... A part of it is the local group that offers classes hasn't announced what or even if they are even having those classes this year. I'm trying to keep things simple- I still work part-time and hubby will work from home those days, but he won't really school with them. I also want to step away from the rigorous classical drilling. I guess I'm just complaining/venting and not so much looking for advice.
(Also, how do I edit my very outdated signature...)
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Thanks Ellie-
Homeschooling was an adventure I had thought we had put behind. Just browsing around at the familiar titles and topics has been nostalgic.
I suppose you're right about not getting a big box o' curriculum and crafty stuff for my 6 year old- I had delayed his kinder start. As for my 7 year old, she has multiple delays and the school was going to have her repeat 2nd. She really does need some extra support. I'm working on trying to get a psycho-educational eval. Some of it may just be developmental in not understanding, ie borrowing during subtraction. But she also has many letter reversals and difficulty with spelling even basic words.
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Let me just say I'm not new to homeschooling or these boards, although it's been a while. I homeschooled my oldest up until 8th and he's now a sophomore at the university. However, he was compliant, and I was full of enthusiasm.
The on-line stuff from their school for my 2nd and 4th was a disaster even though their classical charter did a pretty good job. I'm strongly considering homeschooling my kinder, 2nd (needs to repeat), and 5th this fall.
I have never homeschooled kinder- is there some kind of program that sends ALL the materials? Like all the messy supplies? Maybe do the basics and just sign him up for extra classes...? I do not want anything with screen time. My kids are VERY addicted to it. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and tired with the idea of organizing for THREE instead of one kiddo. Suggestions? Advice?
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I find this thread totally overwhelming. 😕. I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe, but actually weeding through everything seems depressing. I’ve unsuccessfully tried losing weight and still have clothes two sizes too small. Do I hang on to those or just donate it all? I’ve been in the same jeggings and jeans for well over a year. I don’t want to admit defeat and buy new clothes in a larger size. Sigh.
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NFP has worked for us. Plus backup with a diaphragm if there's any mucous at all. Caya diaphragm is now available in the US since the old standby was discontinued several years ago. Although I had trouble ordering it even with a script so I just bought through eBay.
Needing gentle encouragement in a complex situation re college
in The Chat Board
Posted
OP here. Thank you all so much for taking the time to thoughtfully respond. I've been through the thread several times. There were warning signs before we were married 23 years ago, but I loved his wonderful mother and he was very charming. Unfortunately, she died 9 years ago. I was raised in a neglectful home. I've mostly been on my own since 18 and parenting adult children is a really foreign concept for me. Dh's attention and passion towards me was unarming, despite the red flags. I feel I've been ankle deep in kiddos for so long, only recently have I had time to breathe and have more introspection. I work twice a week as a nurse... not for money, but for health insurance. Most of my paycheck goes to that. I do most of the house work. I'm really working hard to train the three youngest. DH doesn't do any house work or cooking, except occasionally he'll grill.
My daughter has burned bridges with many family members. Mostly just ignoring them through the years. She can have a prickly personality. But, she can also be a lot of fun. She is currently working for my sister-in-law at her restaurant. My father-in-law wouldn't meet up with her in Europe although they were both not far apart.
As to the ADD which wasn't diagnosed until high school, she has a lot of trouble multi-tasking. Executive functioning is difficult for her. Also her follow through is often lacking.
Nursing is a good flexible career. Admittedly I encouraged her in that direction, but the school part is difficult- it may really not be a good fit, even though she says it's what she wants. We should explore other options.
She backpacked through Europe for three weeks alone after high school mostly on her own dime. She works part time as a server. It pays well, but she seems to spend frivolously, like getting a lot of take out and Uber eats. She almost never eats what I make. She is planning to pay for her London trip herself; however, it seems like most hostels want a longer commitment than a month. She'd get room and board, but not much else.