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lovinmyboys

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Everything posted by lovinmyboys

  1. It is just so weird because all of his apps and settings downloaded, I was able to add a credit card to his Apple Pay, he has Spotify and YouTube etc..but nothing works because it says he isn’t connected to the internet. But didn’t it need the internet to download all the apps? I obviously should just take it back but I just dont understand.
  2. My son’s phone broke so he got a new iphone today and no matter what I do it won’t connect to the internet anywhere. I keep trying things but it is such a waste of time! Has anyone had this problem before? I’m giving up…maybe the store will take it back?
  3. Yes! Our last place was so hard because I felt like we had very different values than the community. But, had we moved to a different part of the city I think our values would have been more aligned. Maybe I don’t have to write off whole states? Like I really don’t want to live in Alabama, but several people have told me Huntsville is a great place to live. Having older kids now makes the choice more important than when they were little, but I feel more constrained by finances now.
  4. I agree, but I’m wondering if living somewhere like St Louis or Charlotte will really be that different than Minneapolis or Detroit. The number of semi-affordable cities in more progressive states is pretty low- Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, and Detroit are the ones I can think of. Maybe Denver, Atlanta, Phoenix And Albuquerque too?
  5. The teacher gives feedback on the homework- so there is no grade but there is a benefit. And she feels like without her feedback he will not do well on this next test.
  6. Yes and this is what I was thinking. He just used to seem so articulate, but lately he isn’t as much. Maybe he doesn’t feel like articulating it all or maybe he doesn’t even really know. And some of his best friends are from countries that will make it very difficult for them to ever go to the US, so likely he won’t see them again. Im fine with him doing very little and hanging out with his friends. I think I just worry that he is getting into bad habits right before he is off to college on his own.
  7. I’m kind of worried about my oldest, but maybe it’s normal? He has always been a great kid- hard worker, caring, disciplined, etc. This year it is like he is a different person. He still is a good kid, so it is hard to explain, but it is like he has completely quit life. Last year at this time he was playing basketball and working out with the baseball team. He also played soccer at school, was on some committees, volunteered, etc. He put effort into school. Now, he does literally no extracurriculars. He hangs at home and is pleasant to be around. He usually goes out with friends about 3 times a week. He works out a few times a week in our basement. I don’t think he ever does homework or any sort of reading or academic activity. I just got an email from his calculus teacher that he hasn’t turned in his homework lately. He will say he doesn’t have to turn in the work because it isn’t graded. But, he says he wants to get a math degree in college so shouldn’t he be putting some effort into math? He is mad at the teacher for something (which I understand where he is coming from on that one little thing) but now I guess he is punishing her by not trying in her class? Also, he is going to a not selective university so he should be able to get some money off his tuition. He has to turn in everything by February 1 and I haven’t seen any progress on that. When I talk to him he just acts like I am worried for nothing and it will get done. He knows we only have so much money and he just used to seem so reasonable and now it’s like he isn’t thinking at all. How would you handle this? I want to tell him that he is getting himself into bad habits. My instinct is to make him do more, but maybe he is too old for me to really boss? I really don’t know what the problem is at all. It is like around September he just decided to do nothing. (He would say his school is very hard so he is tired when he comes home and just wants to chill. And he sees his friends and hangs with his family so he isn’t moping around the house or anything). I have been frustrated with him for a few months, but the email from his math teacher has made me even more upset. Ideas?
  8. That is definitely on the list too. My son will likely be going to college in Missouri so it would be nice to be an easy drive away from him. I really don’t want to be this person regarding politics, but unfortunately it is true. I don’t mind having elected officials I disagree with, but I will have a hard time living in a place that votes for unserious people. It is probably something I need to get over, because I think St. Louis would be a good fit. And I think as long as my community was mostly living in the same reality as me, I would be ok. The last place I lived during the Trump years/Covid drove me to need a break from America. (I hope I haven’t said too much. Maybe I will delete this part later). I just want a place where people agree on reality and their elected officials support reality.
  9. Dh has some say in where we will move next. We don’t necessarily get to pick, but I would like to at least have some top choices. My kids will be middle school, high school, and one in college but he will likely be doing his own thing. I would love to go somewhere that offers some sort of benefit for college if students meet certain requirements. I know Missouri, Kentucky, and Nebraska do this but I bet there are others. I would like somewhere that is welcoming to new people. The last place we lived just felt very hard to break into- people’s grandparents had gone to school together. I would love someplace with some sort of school choice as I am really hoping to split my two middle kids up and put them in different schools. I would love some place that has extracurricular opportunities for kids even in high school even if they aren’t top tier (sports, theater, etc) It needs to be somewhat affordable (4 teens!) and it will have to be at least a mid size city. I would prefer it to not be super into cultural wars. Not to get political because I have some very conservative views, but I had a really hard time in the last place we lived where people flew their preferred candidate’s flag on their lawnmowers and whatnot. I would prefer a place where the vast majority of people know that Biden won the 2020 election, the democrats aren’t running a child sex trafficking ring, and there is no deep state doing whatever it is they think it is doing. other things that don’t matter as much: later sunsets, professional sports and theater, four seasons Any ideas where to look? The list right now is basically Minneapolis, but I have heard that it can be hard to break into the community there.
  10. I haven’t read the replies, but I was just talking to a friend about this. In my case, my son just grew out of it- which I think is a good thing, but it is hard for me sometimes because he doesn’t seem as “sweet.” He is 17 now and I would say over the last year he has become much less of a people pleaser. He is much different at 17 than 13. So, in my case, I did nothing really and he just got older.
  11. I saw your post earlier, but I didn’t respond because I have nothing to offer. The same thing happened to my son this year and it is just awful and sad. I have no helpful advice. He is in school, so had the option of talking with the counselors (and the school brought in some outside help). He declined doing that. I will pray for your dd and you. It is so hard when our kids are hurting.
  12. I love this so much! Although I never said it so eloquently, I have learned this over the years. Dh is quite type A-some of that is good and part of who he is, but some is definitely how he deals with anxiety. I deal with my anxiety in my own ways, but I no longer try to play the type A game. He wants to do x,y,z be hardworking and competent etc? Go ahead and knock yourself out. I’ll be over here reading my book, on the forums, working a puzzle, etc. And the kids aren’t going to do that either- they will just sit right there and build their legos or whatever. If I have done what needs to be done, I’m going to relax with no guilt no matter what others in my house are doing.
  13. Mammograms stress me out so much! My experiences have always been good-ish. The one time they found something I had a biopsy the next day, so very little waiting. I just assumed that was how it was always done. I didn’t get a diagnostic mammogram or ultrasound (well other than the one with the biopsy) or anything. I’m supposed to go on Friday for my yearly mammogram, but I don’t know if I will be able to work up the courage. I might put it off until next week. My grandma had breast cancer come back in her bones and not her breasts. She also lived a long time with breast cancer. Hoping you are able to enjoy your trip and not worry!
  14. I don’t actually know how to avoid lifestyle creep? We have four close in age kids and when they were young they mostly did homeschool activities for free or cheap, played with toys from garage sales, read library books, and wore hand me downs. Now, those same four are all 12-17 and it just is a lot more expensive. I feel like we make plenty of money so we should be able to not live paycheck to paycheck. I think teens are expensive. We just recently went down from three kids in braces to two, but I’m sure my youngest will eventually need orthodontics. They eat much more now and their clothes are much more expensive. My oldest wears tall pants and a large shirt, so basically we never find anything on sale. Even cheap activities cost money. Plus, the cost of car insurance if they start driving. It all stresses me out and I never used to worry about money. Im planning to sit down with the budget today and see what can be cut.
  15. I love a good snow day in the house with board games!
  16. I did gymnastics about 25 hours a week at 11. I had lots of other movement as well- playing in the neighborhood, swimming, etc. I was homeschooled, but it was kind of school at home so I was expected to sit, but mostly just until lunch time. In the afternoons we went outside and in the evening I went to gymnastics. We also had once a month homeschool roller skating, ice skating, and bowling.
  17. I would do the chase mentioned above. I haven’t been to France in awhile, but where I am in Europe I use my chase card on Apple Pay for pretty much everything (cash for the local produce market and to pay my tennis coach, and maybe a little cash to tip occasionally). I also have a capital one card, but I have had bad experiences with that one locking me out because of their fraud detection system. My debit card from my bank has worked fine for the atm and it does reimburse the atm fees.
  18. My first books of the year (have only read a few pages): Fiction: Dictionary of Lost Words Non-fiction: Enchantment by Katherine May
  19. We did improv games for New Year’s Eve and it went so well. We have also done Jackbox games (they have been worth every penny), escape room in a box, pickleball, and those step by step paintings.
  20. I’m making notes for next year. There are so many movies, but my kids like to watch the same ones each year as “tradition.” This year we watched: Elf, Christmas Vacation, Candy Cane Lane, Boy Called Christmas, and Rudolph as a family. I think we will watch Charlie Brown Christmas tomorrow to wrap up. I watched Preacher’s Wife, Christmas in Connecticut and Four Christmases (this one was not good) by myself this year. Next year I really want to do Christmas Story and Muppets Christmas Carol.
  21. My ds13 got the game secret agent and it has been played a lot. DS11 got pop darts and those have been fun. Everyone got zipstrings and sleep headphones in their stockings and I think those were hits. No real misses but most things were from lists.
  22. I am going to try to look at it as if I live in Boston and they went to Italy/greece instead of visiting me. I wouldn’t care at all in that case and would be happy they are getting the opportunity.
  23. Yes I think this is true too. They did a group tour to Canada and loved it for all these reasons. But also, I literally live in Poland. So I could do all of that for them if they wanted to visit. I do think they maybe don’t realize how easy/cheap it would have been to fly from Rome to Warsaw or Athens to Warsaw. But now they have booked the tour with flights so I think it is probably too late. And it may not have ever been possible with the group anyway.
  24. Yes @bolt. thank you. That is how I am trying to look at it. To be clear, we won’t see them while they are in Europe and as far as I know they aren’t planning a second trip, but I do agree that they can certainly have trips of their own. I am happy that my parents aren’t just at home wishing they could see us more 😀
  25. This is what they are doing so I am trying to be understanding. It may be selfish but I guess I thought if they were going to fly, take the time, and pay the money to go to Europe it would be to visit us.
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