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scholastica

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Everything posted by scholastica

  1. I mistyped it was through 2016. They changed things in 2002. So, In his findings for the years 2002-2016, things were being handled differently when accusations were brought by victims.
  2. The right thing is to open the records.
  3. He said he found no evidence of ongoing attempts to cover up. That accusations today were being handled appropriately. The PA investigation covered from 1940-2018. The historical cover up is horrifying enough. I still don't get that. I never will. Again, it used to make me mad, now it just makes me sad.
  4. That’s interesting because I heard an interview on NPR with AG from PA who issued the Grand Jury report and he said then that he felt things had changed since 2002. The case in the linked article also took place prior to 2002. It ended in 1998. I would like all of these organizations to come clean themselves, open their archives, air the dirty laundry and get it over with. I’m not sure yet another investigation detailing all the horrors and putting the salacious details of the horrible things that happened to these poor kids will actually accomplish anything. I want them all to do the right thing.
  5. Yes, but I no longer have any faith in human beings to be decent to each other any more, so I guess I’ve lost my ability to be outraged. I’m just sad all the time. I expect organizations to do this now. Penn State did it, the Catholic Church did it, the Boy Scoits did it. It’s just what organizations do.
  6. In most cases, the creators of the systems and the perpetrators of the abuse are long dead and unable to offer restitution or repentance. I’m all for victims being given space to tell their stories and be believed, but an investigation implies that there will be someone to hold accountable at the end. The people who actually perpetrated the crimes are no longer able to be held accountable. What do you do if the sponsoring organization no longer exists? Who is supposed to repent and pay restitution then?
  7. See that’s what I mean - a demonstrated purpose like looking for murder victims.
  8. What would be the desired outcome of such a review? Don't we already know that there has historically been abuse of children in virtually every setting, especially children of color? At some point it becomes voyeurism. Do I think people should be free to tell their stories? Yes. Possible compensation from those who were responsible and should have known better? Sure. But to use resources to confirm what we already know? I'm not sure that's wise use. I'm open to changing my mind, but I'd much rather see resources put to helping children currently in care. Not that we can't do both. I'm just not convinced that it would provide helpful information. I'm pretty sure that there are laws in place to deal with current offenders, so it won't change that. I don't know.
  9. It is awful and heartbreaking and never should have happened. It is scandalous to me as a person of faith that those who were supposed to reflect the love of God to these children harmed them. I hope we've learned a lot more about child development and discipline in the intervening years. There is certainly an aspect of the understanding of childrearing in times past that influenced the behavior in many of these places. Many people engaged in practices all the time that would be considered abuse today, both in orphanages and their own homes. One would hope we are moving past that as a society. Yet, even so, we hear of horrific abuse by caregivers every day. There always have been and always will be people who harm other people. In fact I heard a report the other day on Reveal looking into abuse at private care homes. Reveal: Trapped:Abuse and Neglect in Private Care. I don't know what the solution is.
  10. My siblings are both divorced, so no need to remember those birthdays. I know all the birthdays of my dh’s siblings spouses. I know the birthday of my one sibling’s SO. I don’t think my spouse has ever been given that info.
  11. If you’re not using the tiles, IMO, you’re not really doing AAS. The tiles are an integral part and having to learn what sounds go with what letters and pausing to make sure you have assembled all the sounds to make a word is key. Also, review of the rules and concepts is important. If she doesn’t have all the sounds down, you’re not going to get anywhere. Learn those sounds first before trying to use them in words. Reading and spelling are 2 different skills. Spelling takes a lot of thought and recall of all the potential ways to spell a sound. I would get the tiles and work on that. Also, there’s nothing wrong with taking a whole year to finish a level.
  12. I would be very concerned about this young lady and my ds, if I were in your shoes. I would almost bet that the reason they were sworn to secrecy is because she’s making up the story about the wedding plans. She knows your son well enough to make it plausible and she’s an experienced liar. I don’t really know what I’d do if I were you. Definitely take some time to think about it.
  13. We had been dating for almost 4 years. It would have been more surprising if we had broken up. We met in college, but were definitely in the get out of school, get a job first mindset. Plus, my dh co-oped during school, so it took a little longer to graduate.
  14. It's probably time to get her in with a new therapist. She needs a safe place to talk to someone. She could probably benefit from some CBT.
  15. How did you ever get your dc into college without it?! ?
  16. Most libraries will take them, not for their own collection, but to sell. All the libraries around here have used book sales as fundraisers.
  17. Dh and I do finances together weekly. It keeps us on top of these things. We make sure we know what every charge on every account is.
  18. School? What is this "school" of which you speak? I jest. We are getting started later than usual this year for various extended family and college children reasons and I'm feeling a tad under the gun. We are spending today putting the classroom in order and will start tomorrow. Everything is there, just not where it's supposed to be. At the beginning of August one of my dc asked "When are we starting school?" because that's when we normally start. "November at the rate we are going" was my response. It was just one of those summers and we shall begin presently.
  19. It’s so much easier to blame you than to look at herself. She will grow up and get over it. Or not. Also, I think pop psychology bears a lot of blame. Parenting books give people the impression they can raise a perfect, happy child. Self help books emphasize family of origin as the source of personal problems. All of this puts tremendous pressure on parents and gives young adult children a convenient person to blame when life isn’t perfect. My sister who is in her mid-40s is still telling my mom how everything is her fault. She has yet to recognize that for 25+ years she has been completely responsible for her own choices.
  20. You are not alone. He probably will do some of the things you’re worried about, and you will help him navigate dealing with them and the consequences. Then one day, he will let you know after the fact that something happened and how he handled it and all is well. You will be so proud you cry.
  21. That works as long as you have only 2 vehicle in a lot of cases. Once you get beyond that, they usually want to know which vehicle the young person is driving. Some insurance companies will assign the youngest driver to the most expensive vehicle no matter what.
  22. We dropped off Freshman year. We helped him get settled, got some lunch and headed home. The past 2 years we help him pack the car and he drives himself. Next one down wants to go far away, so we shall see how that goes a year from now.
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