I think I would talk to to DS about it and see what he thinks. My 12 yo would think this is a really strange text, and maybe meant for someone else. Maybe focus on doing some fun college visits — our local universities do a lot of fun days, and activities, theater, events — so maybe not college visits, but just getting comfortable and familiar. Then maybe we’d have conversations at some point about what career options in trades might look like, throughout life. And what other options might look like. How would they be different, why might one appeal over the other? I know you feel undermined. I would be bothered, too, with that history. For now, focusing on taking back or keeping your influence seems important. So that’s where my effort would go. At age 12, we have a lot of visibility into the texting etc that our kids do — so keep an eye on that, too.

Thinking of you all tonight, and hoping for the best possible outcome. Parenting is so, so hard when there’s mental health stuff involved. Huge hugs.

Oh, I thought of another thing we like that I have not seen listed — the sealed packs of pulled rotisserie chicken are great for quick soups and chicken dishes. I sometimes pick one up to have on hand or freeze. Their rotisserie chickens are the only ones we buy. Need I mention the diapers there? If not using cloth. This helped with the best baby gift we ever gave to a nephew — a year of diapers, case by case from Costco. That was fun!

Oh! If you need Udi’s bread — GF — this is the place to buy it. $9 ish for two of the largest loaves I’ve been able to find. Our local groceries carry tiny loaves for considerably more.

Do you use Florastor? They almost always have the best price. Online/shipping and they often run discounts. Our Costco pharmacy staff is awesome. They have some decent coffee, too — Mayorga is pretty good! Said by an admitted coffee snob. It’s our back up when we run out of the stuff we order, or just don’t want to spend $$$ that month. We have a rotating selection of grocery items we buy there regularly, probably all the usual stuff others do as well. They usually have good meats and cheeses, ours has a very good wine selection. Some pet supplies. Some gift items, and household stuff, depending what’s in stock. Some clothes, occasional books. Gas, tires. Their return policy is excellent. We bought at appliance there on Black Friday, and it was an easy, good experience. They did not have an installer as planned (he came down with Covid) but they credited us back the install fee when e found someone else.

Yes, the blue shield is a safety feature. We have found that it’s hard to find the Share Your Ride option in the moment, but learned that it’s the blue shield on the map recently— very helpful.

Yes. Wait for them to say your name when you open the door. You can also say theirs (the app gives this info before pick up). When your ride starts, keep the app open, look at the map and click the blue safety shield (in Uber). Once there, choose the option to Share Your Ride and send it to someone else so they can follow along.

Another Gaggia super automatic girl here, too. We have the Accademia. 8 years. It’s a workhorse. Prior to that we had a Jura super automatic for 12 ish years — also very good. I order both direct from their websites unless I’m in a hurry for the low acid — in that case, shipping is faster and less at Amazon. It’s available on SS, too. camanoislandcoffee.com and jporganiccoffee.com

I hear you! I like Camano Island Roaster’s Papua New Guinea blend a lot — notes of chocolate. Just sayin’! Also, should anyone need a low acid coffee that’s really very good: Java Planet Guatemala and Columbia are both good! That’s a tangent, you didn’t ask about types of coffee. 🤣 Make sure you have a good grinder, preferably one attached to your machine!

If you want pods — we like Nespresso much more than the K stuff. All pods are recyclable, just dump them in the mailer bag and send them off. Shipping is covered. For our back up machines, we have that (Nespresso) plus a Cuisinart Grind n Brew — programmable — for regular coffee. Get the thermos pot to have really hot coffee, and a better reusable filter. It’s a good machine. Or you can go all Italian sports car on it, and get a super automatic machine — which is my favorite option. We love ours more than I can say. Coffee person here, so maybe that was TMI.

Aaack!

Oof. Timely. I’m in the measure/buy/return/re-measure/buy again bra loop. Why does finding the right bra fit take forever?! Ugh. My favorites were discontinued, so starting from scratch.

I don’t think being kind is often the wrong thing to do. You took the high road. Feel good about that part of what happened. You acted on what-should-be, what your DSS should have — and what you’d want for him, right? If things escalate past the “mistaken” text, you can reevaluate, but for now, I’d try to let this one go. I know it’s hard, and it’s ok to need to disect the entire experience and rethink it and second guess. You reached out in a kind way, and if she oversteps and shows her claws — you will circle the wagons and redraw your firm boundaries. You know how to do that with her. She’s taught you. I lived a lot of years, ok decades, with that when-will-the-other-shoe-drop feeling from DSS’s hostile bio mom. I get it. The history is there, it won’t go away, and yet some of us (at times) still want to reach out and help effect healing for our SKs’ sake. At least, I did. I tried periodically, was rebuffed or worse (really, the cruelness some people can find within them is astounding), and each time redrew better boundaries, coming out of it feeling good about myself and my values, and a better understanding of the boundaries that DSS’s biomom needed. I did, finally, stop, though had she lived longer — who knows? I don’t look back on any of the times I sincerely reached out to her with regret, though, and I hope that you can feel that same peace, too.

Ok, we have a great therapy center right around the corner, and a relationship with them. I will call and see if they have a suggestion for a good match for DD. They do EMDR, among other things, so if that is warranted — we will follow their lead. Everyone here is still a bit jumpy, but DD is most definitely the most focused on a potential repeat, often asking throughout the day how I am. The tricky part is it was idiopathic, and we do not know the trigger(s), and have been warned it can happen again. So we are making action plans, and we do indeed have to pay attention — so caution and awareness is warranted. I just don’t want her to feel upset or unheard about it. In interesting, I think positive news: our dog was injured today, and DD was the one to let her in and the first to see. DD immediately verbalized a 3 step plan for how to manage it, and talked herself and DH through it. I am going to call this a positive, because she felt empowered and confident to do so. (Our dog is ok now — minor cut that bled a lot — all clean and good now, we hope.)

@Arcadia Thank you! He’s stopping that supplement now, yikes.

I’m so sorry to hear about your kids’ young cousin. That is so hard.

Oh my goodness, I’m glad you’ve already picked her up! Lots of hugs today. No idea on how it’s counted, just hoping everyone is ok.

We had a hard week last week, and 12 yo DD is sensitive, quiet, and feeling some effects. 20 yo DS is a talker, and has talked, talked, talked it all out, but DD is quiet — she has needed extra hugs, but not ready to talk a lot. Yesterday a mistake in art class sent her into a big ugly cry, and we decided it was the culmination of the whole week. Is there anything else I can do to help her? We’ve had lots of time together, games, movies, art, the Big Cry yesterday. Is there something specific I can do to help process it more? FWIW, lots of you already know — my DH was out of the country and I had two unexplained anaphylactic emergencies, ambulance rides, a whole lot of sick time and wondering when/if it might happen again, and a third near-emergency when DD was home alone with me and had to be ready with the epipen and phone for 911. DD was calm, brave, and did all the right things, even when I was confused and not calm (the ER doc said most people panic when throat closes, but I wanted to think I would be calm — ha. No.) DD and DS have anaphylactic allergies so seeing me go through this was personal (hopefully not instructive). Any advice for how to help my sweet DD process what happened? Obviously, we are making an action plan to post on the fridge, in case it happens again, since we don’t know the trigger.

No words. Just thankful that it was not rush hour, and heartbroken that it happened at all.

I will never tell someone not to take their cholesterol medicine. If you’re just borderline I think you can do a lot with lifestyle changes, though. That said, DH cannot take statins. At all. And — he has a hereditary thing with high cholesterol. He takes a slew of supplements — exercises, tries to eat right. The supplements that help most seem to be red yeast rice, very specific omega 3s, and some others. I’d need to look them up. Our functional med doc made a tailored plan and it’s brought his overall numbers down 65 pts since the fall. He is religious about those supplements. I hope you quickly get the numbers where you want them!

I’m so sorry. I have a lot of ideas, but not feeling well enough to share them all quite yet. In the meantime, we have fairly similar allergies other than soy (though more) and I will give you some substitute ingredient ideas that work for us. Please check all labels for your needs. My Benadryl brain is not on top of everything. Especially check for soy, as I am the only one avoiding that in our house and I don’t eat all the following products, so some of these may not work for you: Substitute ingredients aren’t the exact same, and may not hit the spot for you, but at some point might be worth trying. Also, expensive. Eggs — we like Just Egg products. There’s some in a bottle for scrambled or ingredients, and some frozen squares for egg sandwiches. Check for soy, but should be good otherwise. ***I just looked, and the liquid may contain soy, but perhaps check on the patties. Bummer. Peanut butter — sunbutter. Shop around, prices vary widely. We like the Sunbutter brand. Doublecheck the soy. Dairy — depending on what you are missing, we use soy free Earth Balance; Good Planet cheeses (you may have better luck with other brands but this is the only one palatable to us we can find that works for our allergy profile. Daiya works, but not a favorite). Wayfare makes some puddings, sour cream type stuff, etc. Please check for soy on all of those! Be careful with alternative milks. Many are cross contaminated. We have good luck with Oatley products. You might check those. For prebaked treats and bars to take to activities, etc, you might check Enjoy Life, Partake, Made Good. Katz Bakery for very special occasions — but again, check for soy. Read every label three times. Once in store, once when you put it away, and again before eating. Sesame was just recently added to labels, used to be hidden under “natural flavors” so you should be able to see that, but be cautious with older packaging on shelf stable items. The best thing we do when we have new allergies is write a list of what we can have, and go from there to make meals. It keeps me from dwelling on the things we are missing. Feel free to reach out.

I’m so sorry.

I thought it was an interesting, so please — no worries. I didn’t realize there was a LC connection to MCAS. When I feel more put together, I would love to compare notes more. I’m so glad she’s doing better, and hope it stays that way. These overlapping mystery illnesses are so frustrating, and hard to handle. Just hearing that there are others in the same place is good. I have a celiac diagnosis as well, among other things. We probably have more in common, too. I sure wish neither of us had to walk that path.

So, for anyone with experience with this: what on earth should I eat right now? Thinking low histamine? Single ingredient foods? Every ingredient in the food that started all this is in my normal rotation, but obviously I’m avoiding those. I don’t want to have another epipen moment, but I’m a bit scared of food. I have lost 7 lbs since Monday (I’m short, and it shows, which isn’t all bad but not a good way to lose weight!). I’m finally hungry. I had never even heard of idiopathic anaphylaxis, and I’m not up to researching a ton.

Thank you! I will get through the next few weeks and try this. I’m always up for probiotics.