DD had her first shot this week and has swelling near the injection site. It's not quite a rash but it's red, raised, and visible from a distance. She's a little sore but not too bad. She gets shots regularly for reasons and doesn't typically respond like that to shots/injections, so it's remarkable but not severe or significant.

I'm not anti vax or a Trump supporter and I wish as many people as possible would get one of the vaccines but I'm a little uncomfortable with paying people to get one. Having a lottery is too close to that and maybe worse. It seems a little coercive and the people who would be the most persuaded by monetary incentives against their better judgments would be people with less money, less influence, less power, etc. I don't like it. I would rather persuade people with education about the safety of the vaccines and by social influences. It's kind of like paying people for kidneys...the most vulnerable would be the most inclined to take the risks. It's easy for me to say- but there's very little risk with the vaccines! And I believe that to be true, but that doesn't remove my ethical qualms about situations like this.

I sometimes have my kids take the state assessment practice tests. I think most states have practice tests with answer keys online. I only require something like 80-85% to pass because of variance in curricula. We don't teach to their tests and I often see questions for things that we hadn't covered or vocabulary that we didn't use. On their Algebra test, for example, they included a lot of statistics and probability questions that weren't covered in our book at all and I can't remember exactly what it was- but they had NO questions for some of the things we spent a lot of time on. It was something I thought would have been really basic- like factoring, but I can't remember if that was what it was or not.

We did a hot air balloon theme for DS1 and space for DS2. We don't go all out or anything, though. We had mostly solid color and then the themed accent pieces. But it's futile!!! As soon as they were old enough to express an opinion they made it clear that I picked the wrong themes. DS1 wanted everything train and animals and was not impressed with hot air balloons, clouds, or planes. DS2 wanted everything dinosaur and does not care about space, rocket ships, astronauts, aliens, etc. Whatever she gets, I wouldn't spend a lot of money on the themed items- save that for when he's 2 and actually cares.

I'd love to have "dated" landscaping.

My problem with wrought iron rails is that I find they are not as sturdy as solid wood as they age. I've had 2 homes with them in the interior, both older homes- so the rails were old- and they were not as sturdy as anyone's wood railings I've seen. It's always- "Don't lean on the railing!"

I'm sure there's a style of wrought iron that is in and a style that is dated! I wouldn't change it if it's sturdy.

I don't care if the house is dated unless I'm getting ready to sell it. Then, I'll do things that are quick and easy fixes, but nothing substantial because the biggest wastes I've seen are when people try to update to sell and then the buyers come in and change it all anyway! I change things when I have to or if I hate it, but I can live with a lot because renovating and redecorating is expensive. I painted almost every room in this home since moving in, but that's because the colors reminded me of a particularly unpleasant situation we'd been in. It was cleansing. I've been seeing so many people in our area redoing perfectly functional staircases. Is that the trend everywhere? One person will put a picture up of their transformation and 20 people will ask who did it, how much, and say they want in. People will have solid oak wood stairs and handrails/bannisters and paint the risers white, stain the treads dark, and replace the rails with wrought iron. Having grown up in a home with a wrought iron staircase, I am confident those will not age as well as what they had. Actually, my MIL told me I needed to do that to our stairs the first time she came to see our new house. I don't get it- that's a huge amount of work and money. And then what? I'll have to stain the entire main level's floors to match! We just renovated our kitchen because it was a health hazard and every day I wanted to scream about some poor design choices it had. We tried to stay at or below budget so we got white subway tiles because it was the cheapest and they were fine quality. The fancy stuff we preferred would have blown our budget. I don't know if the tiles will date the house, but I think they should be at least inoffensive. Who knows if someone would have liked the mosaics I was looking at. Our cabinets and counters are similarly plain. I think overall that busier and louder colors and prints will age more quickly, but those are also sometimes the things that people love about their homes or that give it character. You can't win. One person's classic is another person's boring.

It may be that he created the opening with his own behavior and speech; one that dishes it out is expected to be able to take it back. I don't think we should criticize him or anyone based on appearance, but I think it explains why some perceive it as fair game with some people and not others.

At our location they either only do first shots or only do 2nd shots on certain days.

We had the same experience. It took me about 30-45 min to get my first shot from checking in at the gate to leaving the parking lot. Dh's first line was a little shorter than mine, but nothing like our 2nd shots. It took us only about 15 min the 2nd time- including waiting 10min after- we basically didn't have to pause at all. We had to make an appointment for the 2nd shot before leaving after getting the first shot- you were not told just to come back. At first I thought I must have picked a less popular time for my 2nd shot but I think people are not returning for scheduled appointments as I've been hearing of similar experiences from many people no matter what time or day they went back. Dh took the kids who were old enough for their first shots yesterday and he said the lines were similar to our first shot experiences. I expect they will sail through with little wait when they go back.

Crystal Bernard from Wings? She wears a blue vest in the promos. How old do you think the show is?

I think MM is a good program. For most students, I'd prefer to use it over CLE, but CLE was good for a few of my kids. But if you expect less tears with MM then I think you'll be disappointed. They used to have some pretty significant samples or cheap chapters of MM you could buy. I'd get one of those to go through over the summer and see how it goes. If she's having a lot of issues with frustration, it may not be the curricula as much as personality or that she needs more support. I might back down a half step for a while and build some confidence with games and fun things. You can also adapt MM to be completely on a white board or orally which can help. She's so young that my priority would be on keeping her confidence up.

But whether we cooperate out of fear of what the police will do if we don't or because we are legally obligated to do whatever we are told is 2 different things. I would probably cooperate but I'm not sure the law is actually on the police's side to do whatever they want. I mean, I'd cooperate if a carjacker told me to get out too. I think my young daughters should be very afraid if they are pulled over for something minor and asked to get out and into the car, alone, with an officer or 2. That's unusual behavior from police. Aren't we told not to go to a secondary location? I'd hope they cooperate but were were able to keep their cameras rolling.

Not the person you quoted, but that was definitely what I thought when I heard about the case. He was young, he's seen the news, he was probably terrified.

I don't know...I think the easier fix would be to quit automatically reaching for weapons of any kind. A LOT of the videos I see where people are tased also seem like unnecessary force. I think using force frequently is a natural outcome of poor training. I see many times in these videos where excessive force has been used that people are being asked to get out of their cars right away too. I have never been asked to get out of my car or been a passenger in a car where the driver was asked to get out. Why are people asked to get out right away? If you're scared of them running off, ask for keys or an ID or something, but asking a scared person to get out before you even know what's up immediately escalates the situation. So Daunte's warrants, IMO- irrelevant. The police don't have a license to kill and he is presumed innocent of ALL charges at this point. Even if he were to have been later found guilty, he'd only need to serve the appropriate punishment for any offense. I don't think we should be pulling people over for expired tags and air fresheners anyway. Send it in the mail. I think people should only be pulled over for imminent threats- speeding, reckless driving, etc. Other issues are more administrative, IMO. It's absolutely heartbreaking. He was 19. On the phone with his mom. Can you imagine?

One thing to consider is that if you hire movers they may charge by weight, so decluttering before you move is a cost saving activity. I think it's easier to declutter as we unpack because you really get a feel for what you miss or didn't, but if I was paying for it instead of the military, then I'd try to declutter first. We always pack up stuff before we move into storage so that we can show and maintain the house more easily.

Wendie Malick or Molly Parker? Allison Janney?

We've moved often but our cats have been inside cats. One was inside/outside at the time. Don't do the harness. It was a disaster and we only tried once. Put the cat in the crate with a litter box or pee pad, some water, and leave it there. It will be fine. If there's a mess, be prepared to replace bedding at a rest area. The only time we had an accident was when the cat got carsick. If you can, stopping overnight at a hotel so the cat is only in the crate 6 hrs or so is helpful. We sedated our cats for the longest move and it helped. I requested it ahead of time and the vet said to use as needed. This guy was high maintenance and meowed NONSTOP until we used the pill and he chilled out. At the new home, for the indoor/outdoor cat, we kept him inside for several weeks. Then we let him outside with us and supervised, then we gave him some freedom. He's indoor only now, however, because there's too many animals here for me to feel safe with him out there. If you can't at least keep your cat in a garage for a few weeks, maybe you could get a catio or something like that?

I couldn't believe he was the same guy out of the mask as the one in the mask. I feel badly, the actor is a real person, but the mask does weird things to his face. Do you think they're doing some fancy makeup or effects to make it look so bad?

I got my 2nd pfizer shot yesterday. I had almost no reaction to the first shot. It was probably the least painful shot I've ever had. The 2nd shot was equally painless when she gave it, but I feel a little sick today and I tossed and turned all night because of arm soreness and general muscle aches. I finally got smart early in the morning and took some ibuprofen and that relieved most of the pain. I'm still sore and really dragging today, but it's like when you feel yourself starting to get something and not like really feeling sick. I hope it's gone by tomorrow. DH is older than me and has no symptoms other than mild soreness in his arm. Before I took ibuprofen, I had pain from my head to my toes on the side of my body that received the shot.

My first thought is that it's likely correlation. A large number of the first people getting the shots are middle age or later. Tinnitus can be one of the first signs of hearing loss. I believe it's likely to be just the natural progression of hearing loss hitting people when it normally would, only this time there's a shot to blame it on. Have you seen reports of people who are getting tinnitus who don't have hearing loss or people who are under 40 becoming hearing impaired in significant numbers after their vaccinations? I've seen reports of people getting tinnitus and hearing loss after covid but it's not unusual for hearing loss to occur with viruses. FWIW, we have no idea what caused my son's hearing impairment, but suspect it was a virus. He passed hearing screens when he was young and then he didn't.

I don't think the drugs should matter. Let's imagine a similar situation where a victim dies during the commission of a crime- assault, robbery, hostage situation, etc. Maybe the victim had drugs in his system, but had the crime not occurred, or had the hostage taker allowed medical personnel to help, he could have been saved...the perpetrator will be charged with murder. It happens all the time! The only difference is that the people being charged in these murders are not wearing badges during their crimes. I really dislike how George Floyd's behavior is being used to minimize the behavior of the cop. So what if he did overdose? Do we think maybe the paramedics who wanted to help could have saved him if they were allowed to intervene? Do we think maybe having his breathing restricted was a contributing factor? We have a clear pattern of victim blaming whenever the police are involved and I think it serves to prevent real accountability and change. It's a harmful distraction. The same with sexual assault. People have been telling women how to behave to protect themselves for who knows how long? Hundreds of years at least. It doesn't really help and it is a form of social control that limits the freedoms and choices women feel they have- if my DH can walk the dog at night safely, I really should be able to as well in a perfect world! It also allows men to avoid the conversation about their own behavior and beliefs and lets society off the hook for putting the burden on women to try to control everyone while simultaneously controlling nothing.

I hope they will send him off to doggie reform school. I think he needs some more intense training than they have the time for right now. I've been enjoying Canine Intervention on Netflix- he needs to go somewhere like that with a real trainer.

What does that mean? Do you wear what makes you unhappy? I know it's trite, but I think anything worn with confidence and by a happy woman looks best. I'm trying to own that myself and to really think about what I want to wear instead of what I think others want me to wear. I'm pretty vanilla, but I think of the older women I know who look fabulous and most of them either are women who probably always looked fabulous and stylish or they are women who are so happy and comfortable with themselves, that they look fabulous in anything- it's their spirit that gets you. I want to be someone with the spirit- I'm certainly not the 1st category. I wouldn't buy ripped jeans but I've worn plenty of them because there was a time when I had constant holes from crawling on the floor with little kids. I've decided I don't want to wear frills and ruffles anymore. I feel ridiculous in them and I don't want to be that little girl. I gave all my clothes with ruffles to my DDs. I'm not sure there's anything I'd say an older woman shouldn't wear if she wants- that seems a little misogynist, but we shouldn't wear things that make us feel ridiculous, unhappy, or insecure.