Radish greens make really good pesto. And I am so calling my next cake Radish Surprise.

That's the thing. Some of Dr. Phil's advice has been pretty sensible, if obvious. Hard to argue with asking yourself, "How's that working for ya?" But it's like collecting frog knickknacks. If you have one frog figurine, everybody decides you Love Frogs! and must want frog-decorated stuff for every gift. If you mention one positive thing about Dr. Phil (or Laura or Oz or Whomever), you become The One Who Loves Dr. Phil! Which is why I don't often admit that I first heard about homeschooling from Dr. Laura.

I like my Ninja (though I do agree that it is diabolically sharp). I complained on another thread that the cord was a bit short, but I subsequently discovered that half the cord was just crammed into the cord holding compartment and I'm not too bright. I had to pry the cord out with a chopstick, but now it's plenty long.

I remember them! Then Phil tried to recreate that glory with a new family but they just weren't scandalous enough, so he brought back the originals for unending humiliation. Last I saw, neither daughter was doing especially well. Thanks for all the help, Dr. Phil. I admire Oprah's financial generosity, but she doesn't strike me as the sort of person I'd want to have dinner with. That's ok..I'm pretty sure she wouldn't particularly enjoy spending an hour with me, either (being a dull SAHM and all). The best thing about Dr. Laura is the parody character Christine Baranski played on Frasier. Comedy gold.

Oh, Dear One...never look at the "number of servings" entry on a package or recipe! I have bar cookie recipes that tell me they make 24 servings. Or, in real life, 6. More important: what kind of danish?

How much do I love that? Read like the wind, kids...Mama needs to clear her record!

So in light of these discussions, I decided to up my game a little today. I dug out some nice, low-heeled shoes I haven't worn in a while and headed out food shopping. Then I remembered why I haven't worn them much. They...er, squeak. Though it's more like a whoopie cushion kind of sound. With every single step. So while people might have judged the sensible, frumpy shoes I would otherwise have worn, their children probably would not have followed me through the bulk section, giggling. Thanks a heap, Hive. :)

Are you familiar with a movie titled Orphan?

That totally counts as a classic. And if it makes you feel better, my friend just admitted to me that her daughter's favorite lullaby is Jonathan Coulton's version of Baby Got Back.

Then we mess the whole thing up with restaurateur.

I usually remember Happy Working Song from the movie Enchanted; the princess sings about emptying the vac-u-um, which reminds me of the second u. If you're struggling with whether it has one c or two, though? I guess that's no help. Surely somebody here has a good mnemonic.

Ooh, are you an Oxford Comma Warrior, too? We need a secret signal, I think.

I hear ya. And it doesn't help that "cardigan" can refer to countless styles and shapes. I have some cardigans that are pretty stylish, and others that are strictly utilitarian. I also have a long one I just love even though it makes me look like one of the Golden Girls.

This is making me laugh because our shared driveway has a sign for our neighbors that reads The Smith's. I'm not using that name as a generic substitute; it literally says The Smith's. I've been so tempted to fill in the apostrophe with wood putty (and if they weren't such nice neighbors I might just yield to that temptation; the sign is technically on our yard, so...).

There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis never failed to settle our kid. He's 17 and still listens to it before big exams.

First one (Smiths). A bunch of people named Smith. The other indicates a possessive (belonging to the smith), which you don't want here. So your instincts were good. :)

Dupa Lady! I've secretly always wanted one. That is truly one of the meanest things I've ever heard. Who does that?

I was going to comment on what a great look that is, but then I felt compelled to point out that I meant in general, not specifically your husband, because that sounded like I was stalking him, and the more I explained that I totally am not, the crazier I sounded, so... Never mind. :)

Darn Skippy. In my ballet class, the reward for doing well was not getting a sharp(ish) stick in the back. Really.

Heck, I often skip makeup and I have no natural coloring. Unless "pasty" counts as a color. Seriously. I once started a job at the same time as a bunch of other new hires The older employees couldn't remember all our names and took to calling me "The Blue One." I took the hint and bought some blush.

Blue and green. So maybe it's cupcake sugar leftover from a Superbowl party. Still glittery.

If I say body glitter, will you believe me?

I wonder if the school would be willing to have prizes other than candy, as well. Not that anybody needs more junky plastic do-dads, but at least then the kids who can't have (or don't want) candy wouldn't be left out.

In general, I don't think the occasional candy as reward is a terrible thing. Pretty sure I wouldn't have passed the bar exam without M&Ms. But... I'm not sure a dance class is the right occasion for sweets. And if I were paying for classes of any kind and my kid were most excited about the candy, I'd definitely take another look. It might still be just fine and only a once-in-a-while thing (was this her first class?). But I don't think you're making too much of it, though, if it bothers you enough to find another class.

I suspect you'd learn far more than that about us, should we decide to take you up on your offer to let us in wearing only glitter.