We have leaned more and more toward unschooling as our children got older. I started out anxious about getting everything done, and we were pretty much a ps classroom but at home. It was how I, personally, felt I needed to start in order to get a handle on everything. As our kids got older, time spent on traditional academics have slowly shrunk -- a lot. Time for other activities -- family activities and projects, living and traveling within the US and abroad, and strong interests/passions on my kids' parts have slowly taken over. We do minimal academics and lots of everything else. As a result, they have had the opportunity and time to fully immerse themselves in what they love to do. We do not allow them to do it recklessly, but help them to set goals and figure out all of the important steps necessary to succeed. School is not 9 to 3 anymore, but is simply life, all day. They've accomplished some pretty amazing things, and love it. That's not to say we're 100% unschoolers; we're definitely not. However, our biggest concentration is on life experiences and personal and family projects/goals. I think being more traditional early on helped them to be more disciplined as we began leaning toward unschooling.

What a sad situation, and what a poor little child! I hope he can find not only the physical help he needs, but also the emotional help. I recommend a book called Heal Your Headache by David Buchholz. In fact, I can't recommend it highly enough! We are a family of migraines; my husband suffered from migraines daily for over 15 years, and the advice in this book took care of probably 85% of his headaches. It also greatly reduced the number of headaches in another daughter. (Unfortunately, we have not yet found all the triggers for yet another daughter who has them daily, but we are still trying!) Author Buchholz lays out many, many things that cause migraines, and he explains how there are the traditional headache migraines, but also abdominal migraines, fatigue migraines, and more. So, he will address your cousin's son's particular situation. The biggest thing the book focuses on are on are all the food triggers, and following the "headache diet" takes a lot of discipline, but is very worth it if it helps (as in my husband's case). Other things like weather aren't as controllable. Depending on what your relative's triggers are -- and there are so many possibilities -- he can gain a lot of control over them over time. Even things like regular sleep and eating patterns can help. He must be under a tremendous amount of stress right now, and of course that's a trigger too. Hopefully if things settle down emotionally for him, his migraines will improve a lot!

Two foreign languages would not have worked well for us. I would have done it ONLY if my children really, really wanted to. I'd probably do something like this: Spanish 2 Alg. 2 World History Writing/Literature (1 sem each) Physical Science Then I'd pick two semester courses, such as: Health, Computer, Art, Music, Geography I'd do PE over the summer or throughout the year during "free" time. (Still counting it as credit, but not necessarily setting aside a structured time for it.)

My guess is that it's an adrenaline/anxiety reaction too. Maybe she is old enough to be thinking more about it now, or had an empty stomach, or whatever. I used to almost faint a lot when I was a child, but it only happened in the morning, for some reason. My triggers were always the same, but they just didn't affect me as much later in the day. A doctor once told me that if I think of something that makes me really mad when I'm feeling that way, it will help counteract the light-headed/woozy feeling. It gets your blood flowing to your head again, or something! I don't know if there's any truth to that or not, but it almost always seemed to work!

That is wonderful! Congratulations!!

At that age I think I would just not allow my child on the internet. Period. I'd get games to play on the computer, but the internet itself would be off limits. Of course that's easy for me to say, because when my kids were that age, there was no internet! My youngest just turned 17. :)

This one by Boccerini always lightens my mood. :) Nowadays I also need music that is empowering. This is the Olympics song. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhM-cpSwrmM

Wow, that's wonderful! All it takes is one good doctor who really listens, and who is almost as eager to figure it out as YOU are!

This is one of our favorite hotels in the Twin Cities: http://www.thedepotminneapolis.com/ It is owned by Marriott, and is actually two hotels that share a common facility in the old downtown Minneapolis train depot. They've left the original shell of the depot, and have turned it into a year-round ice rink. There is also a waterpark there. It is within walking distance (just a couple blocks) of the Mississippi River and the lovely Stone Arch Bridge (with lots of walking paths). It is on the edge of the downtown, probably 6 blocks from the heart of the downtown. It is also about 6 blocks or less from the light rail, which would take you to the Mall of America. Our favorite hotel of the two in that facility is the Marriott Residence Inn. I think it the less expensive of the two, has a full kitchen in each room, a full breakfast included in the main lobby every morning, and a light supper served Sunday - Thursday evenings. However, given its location, it is more expensive than similar ones that would be in the suburbs.

Wow, I'd sure be frustrated with my sister!! But I guess that's water over the dam now... How many people are coming? My parents had theirs some years ago. It was just relatives and close friends, and we didn't spend much at all, but I thought it was very nice. Have you sent invitations yet? You could put an index card in each of them (or as many index cards as there are people in the household), and ask each person to write a little memory or kind or funny thought about them, and then have a little photo album that you can insert the index cards in as they come. You could also ask people to bring photos if they have any. If anyone has a copy of their wedding photo, you can bring it to somewhere like Kinko's and have it enlarged into a poster, or even just to an 8 X 10, and find a frame at the local dollar store. My brother put together a CD with music that was popular during their day. Could you give that job to one of the grandchildren? We also had various grandchildren put on a little performance... not much, but one played a violin piece, one played a piano piece, a couple others sang a little song, etc. You could get some simple decorations (again, at the dollar store!) just to dress things up a bit and make it look like a special occasion. One of the grandchildren was given the job of taking some photos, and these were added to the index card album, later. It's really thoughtful of you to be doing this. It will turn out lovely, I'm sure!

I'm so sorry -- I hadn't heard either. I will certainly be praying for her and all of you.

I find it offensive and in poor taste. Even if it was done innocently enough 25 years ago, what is the point of posting it now, especially when there are possible negative connotations.

We have ours in the bathroom right off of the kitchen. It's very handy, since that's where I am most of the time... that is, either in the kitchen or the dining/living room next door. Second choice would be the upstairs, however, where the bedrooms are. That's where 90% of the laundry ends up afterall. I've had it in the basement before too, and that's my last choice. We've never had any flooding, ever, from a washing machine. We've had toilets that have overflowed, and a dishwasher that flooded once, but never flooding from the washing machine.

Can you just laugh it off and say, "I don't think this is a conversation we should continue, because we clearly disagree!" And then I'd quickly change the subject.

My guess is that she is jealous, or trying to justify her own parenting decisions, or something like that.

Thank you for sharing such a sweet and inspiring story. It is heartbreaking, too. My sister worked at an orphanage for children two and under in Djibouti for a summer a few years ago. The biggest problem was that there were not enough people working there to give them love and attention. My sister spent a majority of her time just holding them so that they could -- just for awhile -- feel that necessary human touch. She would hold five babies at once: two resting on her lap, one lying on her legs, and one in each arm.

Interesting! It never occurred to me that you could have a good career without a degree, until my husband came along... :) He has many degrees (including a couple of MA's, a JD...), and decided most of them were a total waste of time and money. He has encouraged (required, is a better word) our children to really think about if college is necessary for what they want to do. This, from a really remarkable, brilliant man. It has taken me awhile to get onboard with this way of thinking. Two of our children so far have decided -- wisely in their case -- to go the traditional college route, and two have decided to go a very non-traditional route. I am nervous for the non-traditional route children. But, they are both quite brilliant themselves, I think, and self-educate. And I suppose if all else fails, they can go back to school at some point...

I've heard you can bring old electronic equipment to Best Buy. I don't know much about it, but you could maybe do a web search.

I don't believe you are expected to tip a cleaning person. We don't have one, but my MIL has one come every other week.

I love ours! We got a model with a reservoir and 3 cup choices. I really like the reservoir so I don't have to fill it each time. My favorite coffee is the Caribou Mahogany K-cups, but I often make our own too. It's nice when you're in a hurry and don't have time for the drip maker. An addition, sometimes we use it for a quick cup of tea. We don't even use the tea K-cups (we're too picky), but we use it for the hot water and then put in a tea bag.

We were very frustrated with the meal plan at my daughter's college, because as a freshman, you only had one option and it was required. My daughter ate almost all of her meals in the dining room (which served good enough food), and STILL had several hundred dollars left in her meal account, which didn't carry over. Whatever was left in meal accounts at the end of the school year was just kept by the school. The only way around this was that the meal account also covered snacks and other items in a small convenience store on campus. In the convenience store you could also buy laundry soap, shampoo, etc. In order to not let her dining money go to waste, during the last week of school she (and many other students) spent their several hundred dollars of leftover meal plan money on boxes and boxes of laundry soap, tampons, dozens of bottles of shampoo, etc. It was really crazy.

Due to our circumstances last year -- husband in various hospitals, our family living in hotels and various boarding houses, etc., for the school year -- we were unable to do labs for the most part. We had Miller and Levine Biology, which enabled us to access their website. Their website had some virtual labs, and then I found a lot of other virtual labs on youtube, even labs on how to use a microscope, etc. We did a few simple labs at home, and took part in local science museum projects. It wasn't ideal; I think hands-on labs add so much to the course. But, it worked for us.

My children have been able to be on the ps speech and debate team. One child in particular does particularly well at public speaking. Now that she is in college, there are many more opportunities.

I agree.

My husband and I are from very different birthday traditions, and this used to cause a problem! I am from a family where the birthday person was treated like a princess and lots of fun things were planned and given. My husband is from a large, Irish-Catholic family that couldn't afford to do very much, and didn't care, anyway! They didn't focus on birthdays and gifts and all that, and if they had the choice they would have spent every special day working at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen (which they often did). (It did make me feel very selfish and materialistic for wanting to have special birthday celebrations!) :) Over the years, I've realized that my husband has always treated me special in so many, many ways, that birthdays really just aren't so important anymore. It's not worth it, in my case, to make that issue a big deal. BUT...in your case, heck -- if they are all willing to do something but just don't know what, then I'd say just plan something! How about every year (and I liked the every year tradition thing, so no one has to think about it anymore!), go out for a haircut or manicure that afternoon, and then out to dinner at a nice restaurant in the evening. Or something like that. (I've never had a manicure myself but it sounds like a nice splurge!)