I think this really varies by the kid, my older was independent for everything except writing. My younger was not independent AT ALL. For my older, I worked with him for 1 hour per day on his writing, and while we were sitting together, I would check in on what he was working on that day and how it was going. This was not a top-down assignments approach, rather it was a student-led 'what are your goals' approach. So basically a daily check in through highschool, and during his external exams (NZ has national exams), I was more involved with helping him set study goals. In contrast, my younger boy needed constant supervision and help. He has/had dysgraphia which impacted every aspect of his learning and there was no way he would achieve what he wanted to achieve in his education without my intensive help. Luckily, I was able to give it. In addition to content help (direct teaching), he needed me to micromanage his time most days. Even in highschool, he needed to be kept on task. Kind of an every hour sort of thing. By the time he hit university, he could manage a day of goals. But still called asking me to help him schedule out the day. By 19, he could schedule a week at a time on his own. Basically, because he had to deal with the dysgraphia, the independence piece was slower in developing than is typical. My point is that independent learning might be the end goal, but that does not mean that all kids blink it into existence at the age of 14. This is something that is still being taught for many kids, so I would suggest that you stay involved making sure things are getting done. Slowly, give more agency to your child. But there are many stories told here of parents who assumed their kid way more independent and responsible than they were, and then 5 months into the year, they realize that not much has been done. Most people need a watchful eye, some motivation, some encouragement, whether child or adult. 'Independence' is not isolation. Each of us has to find the balance that is right for our kid, and this balance is a constantly moving goal post.

Welcome to the board! We are a group of very eclectic homeschoolers. Although, many people use online classes for high school, it is definitely not a strongly held opinion for anyone here that I know of. People do what is good for their kids and that varies hugely. In addition, the WTM series of books focuses on learning not on resources. It is a method, a way of thinking about education. So it sounds to me like you fit right in here. So welcome.

I will also say that you never know how the mind works when you are looking in from outside. I could never understand why my ds was so SLOW when he was clearly highly gifted at mathematics and had no processing speed issues. He was constantly thinking and studying numbers. I was like, you know what to do, would you please just do it! Only much later, like when he was 14, did I find out that he has synesthesia with numbers. Numbers for him have both different colors and personalities. So he was spending so much time thinking about problems that were easy, because he was looking for patterns in the colors. Why would a green 6 and a yellow 2, add up to a red 8. That is not how paint works. Why was it that evil negative numbers always win over virtuous positive numbers when multiplying (they always turn evil), whereas when adding, the relationship is not consistent. Graphing was a serious problem because the different quadrants were diffferent colours and personalities so graphs were just odd and confusing to him. Things like parabolas would go in and out of color and personality depending on the reflection and translation. He would just study and study and study looking for patterns. He did not know that what he saw was highly unusual, so never thought to ask. I never discussed it, so he never discussed it. The different was, of course, that I never discussed it because I didn't see it! That situation really opened my eyes to differences in how the brain works. Once I realised what was going on, I was simply flabbergasted.

With my very mathy, but dygraphic boy, we did a year with Mathematics: a human endeavour (written by Jacobs, of Jacob's Algebra fame). It is an inspired, well-respected book full of deep thinking on a multitude of topics. It is engaging and fascinating. I found with dysgraphia that my ds had a serious problem with *encoding* math ideas into written language. Dysgraphia is a encoding problem after all. So our focus was not on 'showing your work' (because it was badly muddled) but on me training him what proper workings look like. This book gave us the opportunity to do a sideways move out of both preAlgebra and Algebra to give me interesting content to be able to train his brain to think logically and linearly about math. It was a very good choice.

My older boy graduated last year from universtiy, and has made the transition to grad school. He has decided on a sub field (quantum computing) that gives him broader job prospects than just being a professor, which makes me quite relieved. He is absolutely loving theoretical physics and has found an awesome professor and program. I'm really pleased that he is keeping a balanced life with hobbies in cooking, plant propagation, oragami, and of course his music.

My younger boy who fought the hard battle with dysgraphia for years, just got an A+ on an essay exam in university. We worked together for years on his writing, and I tried so hard to trust my gut that collaboration would eventually lead to independence in writing. And it did!

I only know MIT. DS had to talk to the professor after class, explain his background, and get permission. The prof would challenge students that they thought were not prepared. The attitude was that students know their own capability, and could self place. Drop date was very very late into the semester, so if a kid was in over their head, they could pull out without impact to their transcript. DS self placed into 8 classes without prereqs out of the 10 required for his major.

Very cultural. No tipping here. They will take your money, lol, but is is not expected or required.

Do your research. None of my ds's top 3 picks required him to take a structured sequence of prereqs for math to get into grad classes - MIT, CMU, and U of M. Also agreeing with 8 about interviewing the department. My ds was a bit hesitant to go to CMU because they had 2 streams of math students. There were about 15 top students that took all their classes together, and ds was a bit concerned about the ramifications for commaraderie in the department when there are 2 clear levels. However, they had an excellent weekly study group for the Putnam exams, and DS would also have an AMAZING mentor who would meet with him every week and help him to be more than just a math kid. (ds did get a full ride here, too bad it came 2 days *after* we agreed to MIT and said no to CMU. It would have saved us a ton of money). We also found out through interviewing that U of M was amazingly collaborative. A couple years before we visited there, the department got in trouble for having like 60 professors and 60 students. They were told they had to get their student numbers way up or lose staff. So they surveyed the students and asked what they wanted, and then they implemented the suggestions. There were weekly pizza afternoons with the professors where the actually professors came to chat, a separate undergraduate lounge for math students where they could just hang out, and weekly professor presentations on their research aimed at undergrad level of understanding, amazingly unusally undergrad math classes, etc. We were gobsmacked at how awesome the department was. (too bad they didn't give ds any money and out of state tuition was crazy high). This was all 5 years ago. But the point is, a lot of stuff is not said in the published lit, and you need to go in person and ask the questions.

My sister has a hammer and a towel by the window, because that is the escape exit. The school has evaluated the stats and it is safer for highschoolers to escape out the window and run like hell than to hide in the classroom. So every year, my sister has to tell 5 classes of 9th graders that if there is a shooter, she will break the window, they will get outside, and that they have to run as fast as they can across the large field and the street to the firehouse. She then has to tell them, that once they are out of the building, she can no longer be responsible for them, and it is up to them to avoid being shot and to run like hell. She has said that it is an absolutely horrible and heartbreaking conversation to have every year. She says '14 years old, they are babies.'

He lives in an ordinary neighborhood in downtown Wellington. I assume his kid goes to the local primary school. Because zoning and segregation is not a thing here, this neighborhood has multimillion dollar houses, apartments like mine, and public-housing side by side on the same street. His street is nicer than most, but it is still just a street in a 100-year old neighborhood inhabited by mixed socioeconomic class residents.

Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Concords lives down the street from me so I seem him walking around pretty regularly. He's just an everyday guy here and when his kid was young, you could see him pushing him in the stroller. Everyone knows who he is, but we just greet him on the sidewalk or in the park with a 'hi' or a nod like is done here to be friendly.

My ds was a math major, and now focusing in quantum computing.

I also had clinical OCD, twice in different forms. I would never say I am OCD. In my experience, people who use it this way are just saying casually or in a joking way that they like things in a certain way (not referring to you, Kidshappen. I hear that we all use language differently). These casual folk have NO idea how dibilitating it is. Also, there is currently some muddling up of the concept of mental disorders with the concept of neurodiversity. Often people who are neurodiverse want to reclaim their right to be who they are, and not be judged as broken or having a disorder. However, OCD is NOT neurodiversity. It is a mental disorder that you want GONE. You don't embrace it as an identity. Nope.

Agreed. They do better than the other elites, but still heavily weighted to the rich. Scroll all the way down this article to see the different charts. Quite fascinating. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/college-mobility/massachusetts-institute-of-technology

I still have my catalogue from 15 years ago, and I'm not even religious. I've kept very few things from those years, but that catalogue reminds me of all those hours contemplating what a great education looks like. So much thinking, planning, dreaming.

@Malam Thanks heaps for all your advice!

I used that book with my older! Raised his Verbal score from 700 to 780 in 6 weeks. I bet I remember some of the tricks.

So 4 books for this kid: The 6th edition of Erica Meltzer's SAT Grammar book Erica Meltzer's SAT reading 5th edition is for the digital SAT College panda math 1600.io orange books That will be a lot to squeeze into my suitcase when I come visit America! Anything else? I'm hoping not!

Wonderful. So what SAT edition is the digital format that is being rolled out? Seems like that is pretty important to make sure I get the right books.

If there is nothing available with the shorter reading sections, what would you recommend? I'm not sure he reads much.

This kid is overconfident, so I shouldn't have him already know the questions before he takes a practice test or he will quit studying! So what is the step down from college panda math? He did well in algebra and geometry, but that was 2 years ago (he has been in stats since then), so he definitely needs review first and then work on the step up questions.

Here in NZ, they used a 'safe' which was a box with 2 empty sides. The sides were covered with wet cloths so that it would have evaporative cooling. In addition, my guess is that women were at home, so milk would not be left outside in the heat for long.

I was afraid of that. So I assume the grammar content is the same, it is just the reading passages that are shorter? What do you suggest for math for a kid who might need a brush up, but is reasonably high level and expects to earn a good score?

Oh, I get it. It is just that the word 'black' sounds very colonial here in NZ. Like back when people were classified as white (good and noble) vs black (bad and savage). I get that it means something different in the USA. Māori are not dark skinned, so the word 'black' could not mean colour of skin, but only mean bad/savage. Interestingly, here in NZ, we don't use 'white' either. You are "New Zealand European" (or Pākehā but NOT white). It makes filling out the census form for me strange, as I'm 9th generation American but still tick the "New Zealand European" box. lol. It all comes down to the history of the country. White Americans have only immigrated to NZ in the past 30 years or so. Before that, white immigrants were all from Europe. New Zealand European is quite a mouthful, which is why Pākehā is more commonly used in everyday speech.