It depends. A house built in 1946 may or may not be architecturally interesting. I prefer even older. That was as bad a time in building as it is now and many of the models from that time frame were cookie cutter houses because of the post war boom. It would also depend on the remodels done previously. It is even harder and more expensive to fix someone else's bad remodel then it is to start from scratch. A deal breaker for me might be AC/Heat. If the previous owners have not already put in central air is there a reason? Can it be added to the crawl space, is there room for the duct work? Closets........are there enough and can you make more. People did not have much storage in mind when they built those houses. The absolutely wonderful thing is that the yard and trees are likely to already be established. What is the neighborhood like? Is it in the downswing and everyone is leaving so houses are cheaper, or is it at the beginning of the reinvention of the neighborhood where you can get good deals and know the area is being revitalized with new families?

I decided the keep my Ex-husbands name so that it matched my kids name. I felt so strongly about it that when I remarried I kept that last name as my middle name so that I would still share a last name with our kids. I signed my name First name, exmarried name, New married name. Using all three. Now that those kids are adults I only sign First and last name and have completely dropped it. When I go to get my license renewed I will drop the exname and just use the initial. I am really glad I did because whenever I saw my kids friends they always called me Ms. Their last name anyway, and I really think they liked that it wasn't an issue. My hubby is amazing and never blinked an eye. There were also times he was called Mr. Exlastname by kids as well......just cause that is what kids do. No biggie.

Kraft mac and cheese. I know it is disgusting and a chemical storm, but they like it and it is oh so easy.

I will look into the process for the Public school handling the Evals. I do worry about whether I want them that much in our life and how it will effect our education choices? As for sports.....I should have mentioned sports. He plays Soccer, (now) Basketball next, then Wrestling, then Soccer again in the Spring and Baseball in the summer. He also is on a homeschool swim team that meets every Tuesday, and he has taken Karate. We love Karate, but something had to give and we only allow him one sport per season now. He rarely watches TV or plays video games. We have a swimming pool, a trampoline, and a huge park at the entrance of the neighborhood. Luckily the kids around here ride bikes, play pick up games at the park, and are all pretty active. I am glad you said serious physical outlets because most people think we are crazy. He has a boxing bag and gloves so he can work out and since he isn't aggressive with others. No cows to care for though.

Hi everyone. I have been lurking for quite a while and learning a lot. My son is 11 and we have known for quite a while that he has Adhd, mainly inattentive it seemed because he is also very shy until he gets comfortable. We began homeschooling him in the middle of his 1st grade year because he was falling behind in reading and the teacher was preparing us for retention. Instead we brought him home and by working with him one on one his reading improved. He is on level. Not ahead of level and I am sometimes envious if I compare what some of the kids on the other boards are doing, but I have had to let that go and celebrate his progress and strengths. Home schooling has went well overall, but of course we made the common mistakes and continue to make some of them, but this year the Adhd is no longer something we can accommodate just with more one on one time and understanding the distraction and need to move. We are looking into medication for the first time ever. Basically because he knows something is different about him and it is making him miserable. We also have older children, and one has Adhd and we learned quite a bit about it when he was younger. But so much has changed as well. For one the only medication prescribed regularly was Ritalin. Well, the one and only time that we tried that with our youngest son was about 3 years ago and it was a short duration dose that lasted 4 hours. When he came off of it his reaction was horrifying. He went on a crying jag as I held him until he feel asleep. At that point I was strongly anti-medicine and never gave him another dose. I am afraid to try again. Yet, now that my son is getting older he realizes that he can't pay attention. He realizes that he is falling behind, and he wants to stop being explosive and hyper. He is hardly ever disobedient, and most of our conflicts are based on him not listening, hearing, or his impulsiveness. He is just like the energizer bunny on steroids most of the time. He can NOT stop moving. He can NOT stop singing, humming, or talking. He can not read a page without stopping in the middle of the sentence to tell me something, anything that enters his thought process. Luckily he is very bright or I don't think he could be on level in all of his subjects except writing. Even math is getting harder because now he is doing multi-step fraction conversions with simplifying, and improper fractions and if he loses focus in the middle of the problem he needs to start over from the beginning. So far the accommodations we make are mostly common sense. We make his work area as free of distractions as possible. We allow him to stand at the table instead of sit, he can bounce on an exercise ball, or read while hanging upside down on the couch. We give him breaks, and try to keep busy work to a minimum. We are using CLE math and other than the new learning in the lesson he does every other problem instead of every problem and fact review we do orally or on the computer instead of written. If we hit a complete wall, we have other materials which present things differently and use different approaches so that he can grasp the concept. I of course make sure he is looking at me and I only give him one part directions unless they are written. Another problem is his impulsiveness. He is very athletic and is a dare devil. He craves the adrenaline/stimulation. No roller coaster is too much, no ramp to jump with his bike or skateboard is too high, no tree in the neighborhood is too big to climb. So we make sure he is wearing safety equipment and as safe as possible, but accidents still happen and I worry he is going to kill himself or cause serious harm. He has broken his arm walking on the top of the monkey bars. He saw Parkour (sp) and decided to do that in the yard, with the fences and vehicles, rolling off our pickup truck and onto the car falling through the back window glass. Luckily he wasn't serious hurt but he was scared that his father was going to kill him. (not literally. His Dad put him to work on some family property to help pay it off) I have described the worst and most concerning. I am sure those of you that know these kids know that this is the AdHd part, but not the whole child. He is loving and kind, he adores animals and small children and they adore him. When he is around strangers he is quiet and shy and seems to hold it all in until he gets back to his safe zone and people. Instead at school before and now co-op he will sit and his mind is wandering everywhere and he never causes problems, but he doesn't really learn much because he misses the instruction and/or is too shy to ask questions or contribute. His teachers and other adults think he is the most well behaved child ever and just don't understand why he isn't learning. Then when he gets to know them and the situation, they are shocked because a switch goes off and he is unable to contain his energy anymore. For a long time I couldn't get anyone to see that he had the hyperactive part of the AdHd equation and thought they must just think I am a bad parent. Now there is no mistaking it, or second guessing it. Funny enough our doctor didn't think it was possible until her son and mine became great friends and she started seeing him in his "natural" state at her home instead of just in the office for short periods of time. So anyway.....I have been reading quite a bit. I had never heard of EF until these message boards. We just kind of lucked into teaching many of those things to our older son during his teen years without having a structure or name to call it. I have ordered and just got the book "Right Brained children in a Left Brained world" as well as "Putting on the Brakes" a workbook for our son. I am making lists of more things we can do with him, and looking into medication. We took the Vanderbilt questionnaires. My husband, I, and our older daughter who spends a lot of time with him. As well as 2 of his Co-op teachers. We are taking them with us to his medical appointment and I also found the Pittsburgh scale of side effects to evaluate his medication. I am not sure yet whether we will do a complete NP evaluation yet or not. So far he isn't presenting as anything but AdHd inattentive and Hyperactive, and I am not sure how much more information that at NP eval would give us that we can't find on our own with the Doctor.? There is also the matter of cost. The Evaluation is not covered under our insurance since he isn't presenting with any issues other than Adhd. I also worry about being able to find someone supportive of Homeschooling. The curricula we are using; CLE Math. We needed the black and white low distraction pages with spiral learning. He is doing well with it. We also use the Key to Series when he needs more teaching in certain areas. Reading Comprehension w/High frequency phrases and Beginning reasoning and Reading (a logic reading program) We also have a reading list that he reads independently and read alouds. Writing tales. This is not working so we are switching to Treasured Conversations. His handwriting is fine, and he can type really well. He hates cursive so the only thing he writes in cursive is copywork so that he can keep the skill. Science, Geography, and Art-----He takes these classes in a weekly co-op and I teach his science class. This Semester it is a Time to Invent class where the kids learn Physics hands on through hands on inventing. Geography is US Geography. We are not learning history since we decided on Geography instead and we had already done the 4 year cycle. Most of the seat work we do is language arts, and math. We use lots of different materials for it and add in extras. We also go to museums and take field trips all the time for hands on learning. He volunteers at the Animal shelter every Friday and he bathes, cleans, and socializes the animals. We also waste a lot of time with the seat work, at times and that can be frustrating. Some days he can fly through our planned work and other times he dawdles and drags. I don't know when it is the Adhd and when it is I don't want to do this because it requires effort. I have a really hard time with that. I am thinking about whether check lists of the work that must be done would be a good idea and put the ball more in his court. I think I have been approaching it wrong by pulling our more work when he is focused and less when he is not? If he knows that there isn't really an incentive to focus and finish, in fact it just means more work. So if you have read this far.....thank you. I am not even sure of the right questions to even ask. If you see anything that looks familiar and have an idea to share wonderful. If you see any red flags please let me know. Also any other suggestions or ideas.

Hi everyone. I have been lurking for quite a while and learning a lot. My son is 11 and we have known for quite a while that he has Adhd, mainly inattentive it seemed because he is also very shy until he gets comfortable. We began homeschooling him in the middle of his 1st grade year because he was falling behind in reading and the teacher was preparing us for retention. Instead we brought him home and by working with him one on one his reading improved. He is on level. Not ahead of level and I am sometimes envious if I compare what some of the kids on the other boards are doing, but I have had to let that go and celebrate his progress and strengths. Home schooling has went well overall, but of course we made the common mistakes and continue to make some of them, but this year the Adhd is no longer something we can accommodate just with more one on one time and understanding the distraction and need to move. We are looking into medication for the first time ever. Basically because he knows something is different about him and it is making him miserable. We also have older children, and one has Adhd and we learned quite a bit about it when he was younger. But so much has changed as well. For one the only medication prescribed regularly was Ritalin. Well, the one and only time that we tried that with our youngest son was about 3 years ago and it was a short duration dose that lasted 4 hours. When he came off of it his reaction was horrifying. He went on a crying jag as I held him until he feel asleep. At that point I was strongly anti-medicine and never gave him another dose. I am afraid to try again. Yet, now that my son is getting older he realizes that he can't pay attention. He realizes that he is falling behind, and he wants to stop being explosive and hyper. He is hardly ever disobedient, and most of our conflicts are based on him not listening, hearing, or his impulsiveness. He is just like the energizer bunny on steroids most of the time. He can NOT stop moving. He can NOT stop singing, humming, or talking. He can not read a page without stopping in the middle of the sentence to tell me something, anything that enters his thought process. Luckily he is very bright or I don't think he could be on level in all of his subjects except writing. Even math is getting harder because now he is doing multi-step fraction conversions with simplifying, and improper fractions and if he loses focus in the middle of the problem he needs to start over from the beginning. So far the accommodations we make are mostly common sense. We make his work area as free of distractions as possible. We allow him to stand at the table instead of sit, he can bounce on an exercise ball, or read while hanging upside down on the couch. We give him breaks, and try to keep busy work to a minimum. We are using CLE math and other than the new learning in the lesson he does every other problem instead of every problem and fact review we do orally or on the computer instead of written. If we hit a complete wall, we have other materials which present things differently and use different approaches so that he can grasp the concept. I of course make sure he is looking at me and I only give him one part directions unless they are written. Another problem is his impulsiveness. He is very athletic and is a dare devil. He craves the adrenaline/stimulation. No roller coaster is too much, no ramp to jump with his bike or skateboard is too high, no tree in the neighborhood is too big to climb. So we make sure he is wearing safety equipment and as safe as possible, but accidents still happen and I worry he is going to kill himself or cause serious harm. He has broken his arm walking on the top of the monkey bars. He saw Parkour (sp) and decided to do that in the yard, with the fences and vehicles, rolling off our pickup truck and onto the car falling through the back window glass. Luckily he wasn't serious hurt but he was scared that his father was going to kill him. (not literally. His Dad put him to work on some family property to help pay it off) I have described the worst and most concerning. I am sure those of you that know these kids know that this is the AdHd part, but not the whole child. He is loving and kind, he adores animals and small children and they adore him. When he is around strangers he is quiet and shy and seems to hold it all in until he gets back to his safe zone and people. Instead at school before and now co-op he will sit and his mind is wandering everywhere and he never causes problems, but he doesn't really learn much because he misses the instruction and/or is too shy to ask questions or contribute. His teachers and other adults think he is the most well behaved child ever and just don't understand why he isn't learning. Then when he gets to know them and the situation, they are shocked because a switch goes off and he is unable to contain his energy anymore. For a long time I couldn't get anyone to see that he had the hyperactive part of the AdHd equation and thought they must just think I am a bad parent. Now there is no mistaking it, or second guessing it. Funny enough our doctor didn't think it was possible until her son and mine became great friends and she started seeing him in his "natural" state at her home instead of just in the office for short periods of time. So anyway.....I have been reading quite a bit. I had never heard of EF until these message boards. We just kind of lucked into teaching many of those things to our older son during his teen years without having a structure or name to call it. I have ordered and just got the book "Right Brained children in a Left Brained world" as well as "Putting on the Brakes" a workbook for our son. I am making lists of more things we can do with him, and looking into medication. We took the Vanderbilt questionnaires. My husband, I, and our older daughter who spends a lot of time with him. As well as 2 of his Co-op teachers. We are taking them with us to his medical appointment and I also found the Pittsburgh scale of side effects to evaluate his medication. I am not sure yet whether we will do a complete NP evaluation yet or not. So far he isn't presenting as anything but AdHd inattentive and Hyperactive, and I am not sure how much more information that at NP eval would give us that we can't find on our own with the Doctor.? There is also the matter of cost. The Evaluation is not covered under our insurance since he isn't presenting with any issues other than Adhd. I also worry about being able to find someone supportive of Homeschooling. The curricula we are using; CLE Math. We needed the black and white low distraction pages with spiral learning. He is doing well with it. We also use the Key to Series when he needs more teaching in certain areas. Reading Comprehension w/High frequency phrases and Beginning reasoning and Reading (a logic reading program) We also have a reading list that he reads independently and read alouds. Writing tales. This is not working so we are switching to Treasured Conversations. His handwriting is fine, and he can type really well. He hates cursive so the only thing he writes in cursive is copywork so that he can keep the skill. Science, Geography, and Art-----He takes these classes in a weekly co-op and I teach his science class. This Semester it is a Time to Invent class where the kids learn Physics hands on through hands on inventing. Geography is US Geography. We are not learning history since we decided on Geography instead and we had already done the 4 year cycle. Most of the seat work we do is language arts, and math. We use lots of different materials for it and add in extras. We also go to museums and take field trips all the time for hands on learning. He volunteers at the Animal shelter every Friday and he bathes, cleans, and socializes the animals. We also waste a lot of time with the seat work, at times and that can be frustrating. Some days he can fly through our planned work and other times he dawdles and drags. I don't know when it is the Adhd and when it is I don't want to do this because it requires effort. I have a really hard time with that. I am thinking about whether check lists of the work that must be done would be a good idea and put the ball more in his court. I think I have been approaching it wrong by pulling our more work when he is focused and less when he is not? If he knows that there isn't really an incentive to focus and finish, in fact it just means more work. So if you have read this far.....thank you. I am not even sure of the right questions to even ask. If you see anything that looks familiar and have an idea to share wonderful. If you see any red flags please let me know. Also any other suggestions or ideas.

I bought TC this past weekend and haven't used it yet, but spent hours comparing it to Fables, Narrative 1, Killagon, and Jump Start. All of which I own, to see where and what would be best for us to use next. Based on that we are going with TC now. I really want to concentrate on writing better sentences and then turning those sentences into paragraphs. We will do narrative afterward.

Could make for some interesting conversations with my own children over biting."You tell an adult when someone hurts you, unless it is that kid. If he bites you.....smack him in the face with your Tonka Truck." Natural consequences at work. (Sarc)

Last comment because only you can decide. Yes, it might be an anxiety attack. But worse case scenario what if it is not? Are you really willing to gamble with you children being without a mother if you are wrong?

Jann if you said last week instead of 15 years ago I would understand waiting. But this is 15 years later. Even if the symptoms were the exact same I would go to the ER. I completely understand why you don't want to go. I hate to go to the doctor and if it turns out to be nothing if feels like a waste of time and money. But this time the risk of waiting is too high. Too many women in their 40s and 50s are dying of undiagnosed heart attacks. You are not too young, or too busy. I have an anxiety disorder and I know the symptoms can feel like a heart attack, and still I am saying go to the ER. In fact I believe you should call the rescue squad and let them take you. If you experienced cardiac arrest while in the car you can not be helped, but if you are in an ambulance they have interventions that can save your life. This is freaking me out that you are even hesitating and if I were your neighbor or loved one I would give you an aspirin and call 911 and let you hate me all you want.

I was fine until I realized he was just getting food for himself. If he calls can you say great, grab some for the kids and me, and I will put this away until tomorrow night? My question is what do you say? Men are not mind readers so he won't know this is a problem unless you tell him. I would ask him how he would feel if he decided to build the family a birdhouse and half way through you bought one and brought it home. If he doesn't build, something comparable.

I was fine until I realized he was just getting food for himself. If he calls can you say great, grab some for the kids and me, and I will put this away until tomorrow night? My question is what do you say? Men are not mind readers so he won't know this is a problem unless you tell him. I would ask him how he would feel if he decided to build the family a birdhouse and half way through you bought one and brought it home. If he doesn't build, something comparable.

Numbness in your left arm is not a panic attack. Go to the ER now. Please. Even better call 911 and have them take you. You may have had a heart attack and the next one may kill you.

Private insurance may allow him to see medical providers that do not accept Tricare or Medicaid. Especially when it comes to mental health, occupational, or educational services.

I agree and I think perhaps part of the reason dresses are given more attention by men are because they aren't worn as often. Being visual anything outside of the norm is going to be appreciated. They also usually, but not always signal more time spent on primping. I can't think of one time I have worn a dress that I didn't also wear makeup and do my hair, whereas if I am in pants more often than not my hair is in a ponytail and I probably only have on a bit of mascara. For me dresses are worn to church, dates with DH, or special occasions where we are often out of Mommy mode. Same with suits. They require a bit more effort, and effort is attractive.

I haven't read the entire thread......but my best friend was forbidden from wearing pants. The reason was that pants separate the buttocks and hug the curves. Makes sense to me, because they do. I don't care, and I am not modest. If my backside doesn't look terrific in a pair of pants then they aren't the pants for me. So lets be honest. Those of us that aren't into the modesty movement, but are happily married yet still enjoy their sexuality, know this. So speaking for myself....nope my jeans aren't modest. When I shop for them first and foremost they have to be comfortable. No camel toe, no squeezing me till I can't breathe or zip them up without sucking it in. Next they have to be the right length. I am tall and have a lot of leg. I want them comfy but fitted because I have great legs and I need to bend all day long with kids and life. I am absolutely looking in the mirror. If the pockets are tiny they make my buttcheeks look huge. I don't want that......but I do want it to enhance the curve down and around and then to my leg. So I like the pockets to be lower instead of higher. I can judge a great pair of jeans within 30 seconds of trying them on, and I often buy my jeans at thrift shops, but yep sexiness counts. Not going to pretend otherwise. Skirts, I choose differently. If I am wearing them to Church or a more modest occasion they are past my knee to my calf and usually A line. They aren't hugging my backside because they are usually Aline. If you buy a skirt in any material but jersey/cotton they wont hug your backside unless they are really tight and I am not into tight because of comfort. If I am buying a skirt to go out with hubby then if it going to be a couple of inches above the knee and will hug the backside because of the fit. If I am buying a maxi skirt it is absolutely going to hug the curves because the material is jersey/cotton and it clings to everything including the legs. As for easy access. Yep for DH that makes a difference. I don't mind it or find it disrespectful. In fact I am a great big Ho when it comes to this man I have been married to for almost 25 years. I will even leave my panties off and let him know when we are in the car on our way somewhere so he can think about just how easy I am for him later. :)

We also used the Malem......it took a bit to get it in the correct position but within a week our son was completely dry. For him he just didn't recognize the signal from his brain and/or body to get up and urinate or stay asleep but hold it. I did take seriously the part about making him wake up and turn it off. He slept beside our bed on the floor for a couple of nights so I could make sure he woke as soon as it went off and stop himself from peeing. By the 3rd night as soon as the alarm began he would stop the flow and by the end of the week he was totally dry. In the 2 years since we used it, he has had an accident I believe twice.

I don't feel a disdain for large weddings and find the idea of a coordinator fascinating. I did mention the Mistress of Ceremonies because that is what everyone around here uses that best fits what she is describing. And they are definitely take no prisoners type of people <grin> I do have a question......because I think the whole behind the scenes is fascinating. What would a coordinator do if Dad and StepMom were sitting where Mom and StepDad expected to sit? I saw that as an example, and if Dad and StepMom sat there and didn't want to get up that could be rather interesting. A stranger, even if she or he was hired would probably be walking on landmines on that one whereas a family member could probably handle it better? Or the drunks that had too much fun with the open bar? I wouldn't want that job for sure hehe

I believe I am her target market and my daughter is having a glorious wedding. Perhaps it is the geographical area where she lives that this is an occupation. I know here most of the better venues provide a coordinator as part of their reception package. That person handles the food, drink, decoration, and entertainment aspect which is where the majority of problems are found. The Mistress of Ceremonies keeps everything on track at the wedding itself. OP it sounds like something you do very well, and I wish you luck with this idea. As other said I think your pricing should reflect the going rate in your area. You could easily call some of the wedding coordinators in your area and see what they charge or even speak to a few wedding planners and see what they charge by the hour. I believe your jobs are the same but as you described it you are only involved in the prep and day of events, where as she has the contacts.

Me either. Down here we would call that the Mistress of Ceremonies and it is a position similar to the Matron of Honor. The person isn't paid, and are usually an older aunt or someone close to the bride. It is her job to make sure that the Bride isn't bothered with the details and she usually has a list of things the bride gives her in advance of the wedding and the rehearsal. She also cracks the whip when it comes to timing and like I said she follows the wishes of the bride.

One shift in my mind is how much it costs to keep things. I am frugal so the idea of getting rid of things that still have or might have use is hard. But when I breakdown how much each square foot of my house is worth it become eye opening. If a home cost $100-300 per square foot then how much am I spending over time on stuff? If I need a bigger house, more closet space, a larger garage, or my house is stuffed then I am often spending more money to store the stuff then the stuff is even worth.

Question about downloading. I would want the book on my Kindle so I could have the teacher's book with me while teaching without having to print it and then on the computer so I can print off the student pages. (I can't print with my kindle....wish I knew how but beyond my tech ability) Would I be able to copy the file on to my kindle after I save the file or is it read/print only?

Yes I have and based on what you have written the only decision you have to make or any control over is whether to call CPS or not. Unless you plan on adopting these kids (which isn't realistic) how exactly how are you helping? The family is either in crisis and need expert help which you can't provide, or they are not. Either way you aren't helping them. You are to be admired for caring and it is incredibly kind hearted but not helpful. Any help you can provide will not fix or change the possible dysfunction and is really enabling the dysfunction to continue longer. By continuing you are becoming a part of their unhealthy dynamic. Based on everything you have written you seem sane and have a healthy sense of yourself so there is no reason to pussyfoot around with you. Call or mind your own business. Those are the only 2 healthy choices and what everyone else has said but in a more sensitive way, which feels good but again isn't helping that family.

Mine have tablets/iPods and like the Google or IPad gift card so they can purchase music or game aps. If you are looking for a smaller reward though and they liked to download music, aps, or books instead of the $10 and up gift cards they could earn one song, so, or book?

Not using outlines and that is probably a large part of the problem. I have an appointment with our pediatrician next week to begin the evaluation process and quite a bit of that comes from lurking your posts and others on the special needs board this past week. He is ADHD and is my youngest. Another son is almost 30 and also had ADHD But so much has changed since then. I assumed we would use the same structure and discipline methods with accommodations for his hyperactivity and things would be similar to the experience of our eldest. Except we chose not to medicate since with the youngest 2 we homeschool and since he had a horrible reaction to Ritalin we would just deal with his adhd and keep going. That worked fine when he didn't need large chunks of time when he could function. He can't. We also didn't count on his impulsiveness being so possibly dangerous. It is. He is a great kid and we do not have defiance issues so I hoped that repeating instructions, making sure he is focused on me before instructing, and allowing him all the movement would be enough. It isn't. We also never heard of EF until I read your posts. I am going to discuss medication options with his doctor and insist on a complete evaluation so I know more than the little I do now. At the same time we still need to move forward though and even if my methods change with what we learn I have to work with what I know now since I do know how long the process can be. We went through the evaluation process with my now adult daughter when we discovered she was dyslexic and the silver lining is I don't have to fight the school system tooth and nail or jump through their red tape. We can hopefully move a lot quicker and adapt as needed.