This may be a terrible idea, but you could call the non-emergency police number and ask them to do a "welfare check" on the house since the mom and kid have gone off the radar. I know there is a 99% chance they are fine, but if they are fine, then they deserve the embarrassment. And if they aren't fine, well, then it'd be good to get the police involved.

Personally, real estate has been one of the best financial decisions we've made. I've owned at least one home since I was 22, and we've made big money on every home. In your shoes, I'd definitely own again unless the market were really scary or bad for some reason. If you can buy with a 15 year mortgage with your payments being not much more than rent, I'd jump on it. If you need a 30 year mortgage to be comfortable with the payments, then do that. (Calculate your tax savings when crunching the numbers!) Either way, each month, put some extra money into a "house maintenance" account, as you are aware of short and long term maintenance costs. So far, in 22+ years of real estate ownership and half a dozen sales over the years, real estate has been very good to us, and it is currently a substantial part of our net worth as well as our retirement plan (a piece of commercial real estate that represents a big part of our assets now and will likely fund much of our retirement). Everything is a risk, but so is renting (as you know). Looking forward to retirement, owning your home is a big help in just knowing the payments won't go up (as rent would), even if you aren't gaining value (as you likely are over the long term). Not only can your rent go up, you can also get evicted if the place sells or otherwise gets redeveloped. That's much lower risk owning your home. Likewise, when one of you is disabled and needs modifications to the home, or you have some other improvement you want made, when it is yours, you can just do it. If it is rented, that is very different. So, yes, if it were me, I'd buy!

Weighing just once or twice a week sounds really smart. Ideally with a scale that only weighs in 1 lb increments. For diet, adding some focus on whole healthy foods would be good, but not if you used that as an excuse to obsess/exclude foods. If you do it, I'd try something like making sure to eat 5 servings of fresh vegetables each day as well as, say, one non-meat protein source (dried beans, eggs, etc.). But, do NOT do it in such a way that has you excluding foods, as that'd be an easy way to get into trouble. Just focus on working healthy items into your diet, not on excluding things. Maybe stick with WW points since that works well for you, but add in some more attention to the quality of the foods you are eating. If you want to focus on exercise, I'd be sure to keep it mellow and non-obsessive, too, like, say focusing on moving your body for an hour most days of the week. No counting calories burned/etc in a way that might encourage you to keep increasing that . . . IME, moving outside is really good for your mind and soul, so in my ideal world, that's what I'd advise. (A walk, a hike, a bike ride, a run, etc.) Trusting your husband, touching base with your psychologist, etc, sounds smart. Losing weight can trigger psychological trauma in plenty of women, since gaining weight can be a way to protect yourself from trauma, etc, so it seems smart to schedule some visits to your therapist/whoever prescribes your meds/etc periodically during this journey to help keep you on track and avoid problems.

I've used the under-bed bins from Rubbermaid, etc, sold at Target, Walmart, etc. They work nicely. Just measure the height/width/length you have available under the bed, so you can choose the containers best suited. The official "under bed" ones have wheels, but the wheels aren't really needed for seasonal storage, so you can use other similarly sized bins that might better maximize the space. (I can get at least 4 bins under a twin bed, depending on the exact size(s). I use those bins for the kids to store their "memories" stuff too that otherwise fills all available shelves. Encouraging them to use one or two of those bins to store all their excess sea shells, cards, ribbons, etc, helps them pare down things when they do the periodic shelf-clean-ups. So, we might have two "memories" bins under the bed along with two out of season clothes storage. Works great.

Are they tiny ants or carpenter ants or what? The tiny ones are generally after food stuffs. Do you use some sugar scrub or similar food-based products in the bathrooms that could attract them? If so, you need to get rid of that and wipe all surfaces with non-edible cleanser/water. If they are carpenter ants, then that's different . . . Can you post details? There are "ant bait" things that are similar to roach motels . . . Little black plastic hockey puck things you stick under your cabinets/appliances, etc. Those are pretty pet safe. (We have a zillion pets and use them safely, but we do stash them under cabinets, etc. Dogs are more risky, because they are dopey enough to eat plastic, lol.

"Relocation Expenses" I'd suggest a flat payment of 2-4 months salary. Some employers offer a flat amount. Others offer various line items (movers, packers, 3 months rent, house sale transaction costs or having a relocation company manage it, etc.) Some offer a choice of either a (smaller) flat amount or the higher line item expenses. This encourages folks who can self-move to take the cash and keep the extra (instead of running up a luxury packer/mover move). I'd think 2-4 months salary is in the range of reasonable. An amount closer to 1 month salary is the lowest I've heard (for new college grads who have very little STUFF, don't own homes, and are cheap and easy to move). (That was around $10k for a $100k job -- high salary tech worker.) For "grown ups" with kids, spouse, houses, stuff, 20-50k is more on the mark for a modest cost move. 50-100k for a really pricey one.

FWIW, when I traveled in E. Europe 25 years ago, on a shoe string youth hostel / dried soup kind of budget . . . I could go out to amazing productions in Bucharest for pocket change. I remember going to some amazing choir thing in Vienna super cheap, too, and Austria is not a cheap city. (Cheap nice youth hostel, though.) Some countries subsidize the arts (and other things) insanely/wonderfully. I could buy a lovely loaf of fresh baked bread for a dime or so, too . . . because it was subsidized. Unless you are familiar with a country and pricing of outings, I wouldn't get too worked up about these sorts of things, because you might find things are much cheaper than you imagine. Many amazing venues have super cheap student or youth pricing too, particularly in some countries. So a $50 ticket might be $5 for students . . . Some countries really are good about encouraging youth education in the arts, etc this way. I'd not be at all surprised if that's the case. My housekeeper does mission trips to Peru . . . and gets hour long foot massages there . . . for $5. I gave her a $10 before her last trip and told her to get two extra on me. :) Some things that are outrageously expensive here in the US are super cheap when traveling out in the boonies in other countries. Mission trips can get folks hooked up with the non-tourist pricing, so that might be what's happening.

Rubbermaid totes are books' best friends. So is keeping all boxes a few inches off the floor. So sorry!!

Sounds like a rip off, but it's likely a market issue if your area is importing cheap labor (maybe even cheaper than minimum wage).

Ikea slip-covered couches with washable slip covers in brown. They wash great, look fine between washings, and have held up for 4-5 years so far with 3 to 5 dogs, 4 cats, many kids, hard living. I think they look nice. I replace the throw pillow covers (or entire pillows) every 2-3 years when they get tired looking (from washings). I never buy upholstered furniture that isn't washable. I buy they Ektorp couches, FWIW. Washable duvet covers and/or quilts/blankets (and a large capacity front-loader washer) if you let the dogs on the beds (as we do). Good quality leather holds up pretty well, too, especially if you go with a more "distressed" or Ralph Lauren saddle-looking looking leather as opposed to spotless black modern. You'll just need to wipe it down with a leather cream periodically. I finally got rid of all carpeting. Hardwood and tile everywhere makes the house much more dog-durable. I just bought a Roomba vacuum. Dogs make a lot of hair and dust bunnies drive me batty. The new 800 series is supposedly more pet-hair-mess resistant than the old ones. (I had an old one, loved it, but returned it due to the annoyance of hair tangles on the brushes.)

Brings back the days of the old, old boards . . . "I'm first!!"

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

If there is a nice auto detailing place near by, and your budget comfortably allows, I'd give them a gift certificate for a nice detailing (the $30-50 level, not the $300 level, lol). They'll use it eventually (if not now!) and enjoy it!

Well, you're in the right, but standing up for yourself and your yard is going to cost you highly in goodwill and a happy neighborhood. IME, I would not risk that for something as simple as yard damage, or even the upholstery. I'd suck it up. I'd pay the bills, fix the stuff, grumble under my breath . . . And still, suck it up. Having angry, grumpy, glaring neighbors is much, much more misery-making than the dog damage. I've had grumpy neighbors in the past. I've had nice neighbors . . . I have a neighbor who walks his dog past my yard every dang day . .. and lets them poop and pee there. Made all our snowmen pretty ugly . . . I. Suck. It. Up. It's SO NOT WORTH IT to have grumpy neighbors. Really. So, I'd get some motion activated sprinklers for the front yard. Or put up a fence along the roadside if permitted. Vent away, but think carefully before making enemies.

Here, people say, "I bath-ed my dog. Or, i need to bath the baby." People == the verb is "bathe" with a long A! Also, a room of furniture is called a "bedroom suit" People, the word is suite! Drives me bonkers. We own a vet hospital, and the first times employees used "bath" that way, I thought the individual was just an idiot. Soon enough, I realized that many/most reasonably educated people in this area use "bath" that way, as they do "living room suit"

Sounds to me like genetics for ultimate height are being expressed, over-ruling the great-nutrition large baby syndrome, lol. My babies were all fairly big and chubby (Smallest was 7'15, other two were 8'6 and 8'8), likely due to my good nutrition and good health status while pregnant. As babies, they stayed healthy, but being exclusively breast fed and active babies, they all slimmed down by their second year, to their ultimate slim-kid destiny. Although they were all fairly high on the height charts as babies/infants, they each charted their own paths as they got older and, I believe, their genetics overcame their early nutritionally-driven size. So, anyway, I wouldn't hesitate to ask the doctor about it at his wellness checkups, just to be sure no medication or health condition is impairing his growth, but my expectation would be that he just won't be a very large kid/teen, but that, who knows, he might be one to grow until he is 20, and growth spurts are also unpredictable, so there's no guarantee about his ultimate height until he is 20 or sol.

That's just what I thought you meant. I agree completely.

If that happened once in a blue moon, I'd think it was charming and goofy, and I'd probably do my best (if time and finances allow) to make a big splash in the desired color. However, as it sounds like a repetitive and annoying and controlling habit, I'd probably not want to spend $$ to satisfy the weird color-control fetish of my relative/friend. So, I'd either not attend (politely), or I'd not spend more than $10 and 10 minutes to satisfy the color request. If I didn't already own the requested color in an outfit that felt good to me, then I'd order a $10-or-less scarf or hair bow/ribbon/whatever on Amazon . . . and for the party, I'd try to wear something fairly neutral (black or white or similar) and then add the scarf, or spray color a stripe in my hair, etc. When it was more annoying than the pleasantness of the party was worth, I'd decline the invite.

Responded in a PM, as details are too traceable to share publicly.

Just to clarify, I wasn't the poster to use "sad". I just stepped in to clarify/explain the other poster . . . What a big internet-communication-SNAFU

I don't think a piano is going to spoil any kid, but I agree that the teacher is bonkers. My kids are *serious* musicians. They've all played various instruments quite seriously since they were toddlers (Suzuki violin at first). My youngest (12) is a pianist, adores it, is quite advanced, plays for probably an average of 90 min/day (much more some days, and very self-motivated) and has for years, considers (plausibly) a career in music . . . and she is playing on a hand-me-down $500 upright in need of tuning at the moment. (We do also have a $1000 digital piano that we bought for her to practice on when we spend a month at the beach, so I'm not averse to spending money on her instruments, but I'm not convinced by your teacher's arguments.) My kid *loves* playing her teacher's Steinway during lessons, but I am in no hurry to get her a (baby) grand, even though I recognize that it might be inevitable. Money doesn't actually grow on trees, lol. Just this weekend, my son's guitar professor (and another visiting professor) informed me that it was time to shop for the "life time" guitar. ($20+k) While scraping myself off the floor, I recognize that it makes sense for *him* because he is 15, it takes 12-18 months to choose and buy the guitar, and 16 months from now, he'll be preparing auditions for conservatories, potentially ones like Juilliard or Curtis . . . and if he wants to compete next summer (critical season audition-wise), then he has to have that level of guitar to actually win the big contests (one of the professors today has been a judge at the biggest of those contests, so this is coming from very reliable sources.) That kid has been studying guitar for 10years, typically 2-3 hours a day, often more, won an international contest by age 11, and has studied with elite international artists . . . And, only NOW, age 15, that we're actually pondering a career in music (or a lifetime of very, very serious hobby-study), are we considering the next step. Personally, that's about my criteria for my youngest with the baby grand/Steinway/etc level of piano . . . When it becomes plausible that this is a life-time passion (whether professionally or personally), then I can see buying an instrument in place of a car . . . but not yet. So, anyway, I think you should save your money. If anything, figure out what the monthly payment would be on one of those pianos, and start saving it religiously in an interest bearing account. When it comes time to buy, you can pay cash (or at least a lot of cash down), and if you never buy, you'll have a very nice rainy day fund!

Yup, I'd put your kid in with a toddler and/or triple bunk kids before I'd have her share with a much-older unrelated teen. Is something like that an option at all? That said, my 12 year old has a room stuffed with stuff. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, hobby-stuff. School desk full of school stuff. We just recently remodeled her room (new closet, etc.), and at that time I encouraged her to leave all the "stuff" on shelves in the rec. room in the basement. Having storage space helps my kids let go of keeping every last thing in their rooms.

LOL, you must be much younger than I am. In my 40-something brain, "unfortunate"(or the opposite of "happy") is still my first dictionary definition of "sad" with "disgraceful" being a distant second. Language evolves, lol. I'm glad to know you didn't mean it the way I took it. Sorry to snap at you. I'm caretaking for my mom who has Alzheimer's and is losing more of herself every day, so I'm a bit sensitive about this topic. If my guess is right, and you are much younger than I am, then hopefully you have a decade or two before you have to face this particular challenge (a declining parent).

Uh, it's really sad when folks lose their continence. Wouldn't you be mortified and humiliated to crap the pool? I would imagine that the incident was the end of one person's senior water exercise class . . . Losing one more thing, probably in a long line of loss. I would guess you haven't cared for an aging loved one as their humiliations and losses mount. Some day, you'll likely know what's sad about that.

This is awesome. I think it does a great job clarifying the social classes in the US. I've recently had a *lot* more interaction with working class people due to having been managing a major construction project on our house as well as managing caregivers for my mom, and these charts spell it out so clearly. The hallmark of middle class is home ownership (or comparable wealth if ownership not chosen): If owning a home is doable or done, but it is still a large part of your wealth, then you're middle class. If your home is just a drop in your bucket, you're wealthy. If you can't afford to own a home (without major subsidies/help), then you're probably lower class. If you're struggling to be able to own a car, you're likely lower class. . . . It takes more education now to reach the upper levels of the class structure than it used to. Note, grad school used to equal wealthy, but now it equals upper middle class. "Some college" used to land you square in the middle of middle class, but now you're on the cusp of lower to middle class. Those elements -- home ownership and education level, seem pretty accurately correlated with socioeconomic class in my experience. I also find it interesting to note that although I think of myself as liberal and not "class conscious" or focused on wealth, my social circles have nearly always been limited to others with a lot, lot of education. Given how closely wealth and education are correlated, that is a bit unnerving. Something to think about, for sure.