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    Residing in mayhem

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    Homeschooling mom

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  1. My kid is not an MT student. He is a vocal music student. But not traditionally classically focused. He is in a highly competitive auditioned touring group that is more MT/Pop/Jazz oriented on campus as a singer/dancer. It's been great dance training, he even learned how to tap. Anyway, they are trying to go back to business as usual this year. Both that group and campus theater and music in general. I am really crossing fingers. It is frustrating. My kid is a double major and I think had he not had such a large music scholarship, he may have dropped the music degree. I'm hoping this year is much more fun and gratifying!
  2. I think if it's a safety academically and financially (or there is a good plan B), that's totally fine! My oldest applied to 11. Ugh, so many hours you can't get back some of them wasted. It did make sense as he was auditioning for programs that even at the "easy" schools had less than like 15-20% admitted and we truly could not afford our EFC. Hind site, we could have focused the applications a little better now that we know how the money rolls. We are lucky enough to have a great flagship (DH and I are both alum) and reciprocity with a neighboring state, plus there are some directional in both states I would be ok with. My oldest really needed a place where an academic nerd could find a place, my DD could be successful in a wider variety of settings. I will let my DD throw herself to a couple dream schools if she wants to put in the leg work and some LACs good with merit. She may also want to audition for music and/or theater programs and/or scholarships. I am discouraging straight theater BFA programs.
  3. These are relatives though right? I don't think it would be inappropriate to contact mom and say "Hey I am a bit worried about Jane. She needed a cash advance and now I can't get a hold of her anymore. Do you know if she is ok?". If it were a circumstance of not knowing the family other than an infrequent employee, I wouldn't bother. But in this case I would.
  4. This is not a circumstance I have been in. My kids are kind of social late bloomers as was DH and I. They are 17 and 20 now and haven't had relationships like this to this point. So honestly, for at least the next year or 2 I don't even see it coming up at our house. That said, I do know several families who have made different decisions than me on this and all I would say is sometimes with teens you are making least bad choices and along for the ride. I just assume other parents of young people are doing the best they can with the circumstances and teens and their relationships at their houses. Especially for the 16/17+ and up crowd. My teenage relationships felt very important at the time and one felt serious. SO is just an expression. I guess I wouldn't think too hard on teens using it.
  5. They always just leave stuff on my doorstep and I typically get a text when they have delivered. I have tipped in Amazon. I think there is a default tip added usually?
  6. I would have been fine with my kids at 12 with a responsible older teen in a public setting like that. They have an adult on site, I assume at least one has a phone, I wouldn't worry about it. Especially as the parent of the oldest in the group.
  7. I agree. I do think if I were unsure about other guests and numbers were rising in an area, I'd probably just decline rather than quiz a host on their guests vaccine status. But I don't blame people feeling more cautious either. You don't always know their health or family situation or maybe they skew anxious. There is still a lot we don't know. Some other hosts are just having get togethers with vaccinated people maybe outdoors. We have still done very little. I haven't sat indoors in a restaurant since before covid still. We have done a couple patio things. Our teen is back to some activities and in person stuff and that has felt like a good step towards normalcy. Delta is making me a bit nervous though. Where I am, I honestly don't know anyone we might see in person who is not vaccinated. My dd is in a summer theater thing. All 24 cast members and their families are vaccinated.
  8. My son has always had a cowlick. And we learned pretty early we needed to do a short on the sides/back, longer on top guys cut for it to lay well. I've kind of learn to do it during covid, primarily on my DH, DS decided to just grow his hair out for now. I use clippers on the sides and back and just go light on cutting the top. Kind of like this ....
  9. LOL our EFC was over the cost of any school in the country. 🤣 I am not denying our privilege AT ALL. But in a country with very few social safety nets for retirement or health care people who have been able to having amounts widely considered prudent by financial planners I think it's unfortunate that the college system doesn't use more sophisticated calculators. We came to parenthood later than many too. I'm glad we found a good solution and I am sure we will have options for our 2nd kid too, I am really in favor of an overhaul of that whole system.
  10. Our EFC was over half of our take home pay. 😂🤪 Based on a year where DH got a large bonus. We live in a somewhat HCOL area. That whole FA system is just completely broken IMO. We live in a 2200 sq ft house that needs work, drive Kia vehicles into the ground, do the occasional vacation. Definitely aren't living like the rich and famous over here.
  11. Oh we are/were in a very similar position. We paid off our mortgage about 2 years ago, have no debt, and have a lot in savings. The periodic/fee based advisor helped us with large chunks of savings ideas and how much to have. Most people are good to have 6 months accessible and most people do not have anywhere near that amount. I just heard a story about savings and economy, etc on public radio this week and they said 25% of Americans have no regular savings. I just think the ones that are constantly playing with your money are generally WAY overpriced for what they do. My 75 yo mom is quite well off (owns 2 homes outright, has plenty of money) and does have a FA like this. But after my father died, she just needed to get that off her plate and I personally have no interest in being in charge of her money when we are doing pretty simple things with our own. One thing I will say, we live very conservatively and having savings, a paid mortgage, really hurt us with college pricing at some schools if your kids are college bound. No world we really cannot afford what the richest in society pay for private colleges. My kid got a great scholarship and will graduate debt free. Actually out financial adviser was really good to talk to about us about keeping it real when it came to knowing what we could ACTUALLY budget for college (which has zero to do with what the FA says we can afford) while making good choices for retirement and the future.
  12. My oldest is 20 now and about 5'9 or 5'10" and in about the 120 range. I think that's a totally normal fluctuation if he is still growing and active, etc. I just always kept (and still keep) stuff like cheese, nuts, trail mix, etc at the ready for him. He actually has a thing on campus this weekend and I sent him with about $50 in high fat but reasonably nutritionally sound snack options lol. I also think there is some danger in hyperfocusing on weight and food at this age too so if he is otherwise healthy, active, feeling good, etc, I guess I wouldn't worry about it too much other than having snacks ready and maybe offering to make him a high cal smoothie or malt once a day.
  13. We’ve done similar and that has been perfect for us too.
  14. We have been using Old Navy masks for basic run in and out use all year and they have held up well. I'm finally upgrading to a few happy masks because come this fall I suspect we will have some higher risk and longer in mask situations.
  15. I know so many older people who've had it and it was not a big deal and well worth having done. My own mom had a cornea transplant last month. She is 75 but has lots of health problems. Her situation required extra follow up but she has healed well and she is SO happy she did it now.
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