I would rather my DD take 4 classes per semester (anywhere from 12 to 14 credit hours) and pick up the slack with summer classes. Here in Florida summer sessions are 7 weeks each, so a student can do 2 classes (6 hours) in one session, and still have 7 weeks of "free time". For DD, slow and steady works much better. She is almost compulsively thorough in learning the material; she is not one who skims quickly, memorizes, and dumps her brain after the exam. OTOH, her cousin takes at least 16 credit hours per semester, does the drill-and-dump routine, and remembers nothing. Each to their own, I guess. I agree with what others have said, with Gen Ed requirements being increased to the point where it's nearly impossible for students to graduate in 4 years.

:iagree: My DD (who I wrote about earlier) 3.9 GPA at comm coll, impressive SAT scores, just called me last night and told me she's come to the conclusion that she has to change her studying techniques. I never heard the "you were right, mom" words come directly from her mouth, but she sure was close! While she was applying to the highly-selective LAC she now attends, I impressed upon her over and over again that school is a full-time job, which translates into 40+ hours a week of work. I told her there is no getting around it: whether you decide to work 8 am to 5 pm, or noon to 10 pm, it's going to have to be a solid 8+ hours a day. I told her that when I ate breakfast, I had my cereal spoon in one hand and my textbook in another. Lunch in the cafeteria was the opportunity to review my notes. Dinner was accompanied by yet another textbook. I told her I did my hardest loads in the morning--research has shown that math and science are best done in the early hours--and any novels that had to be read were done while walking on the treadmill/sitting by the pool/waiting at the doctor's office/lying in bed at night. In other words, I had to plan my extensive study schedule and stick to it. Of course, DD thought she was twice as smart as I, and she could whip the work out in half the time. :lol: :lol::lol: Just a thought.

What is the difference between matriculating into a 4-year college and being enrolled in a 4-year college? Is one better than the other? Dilemma: DD, a first-semester freshman, is going to transfer from her present highly-selective LAC and will be applying to enter another highly-selective U (big state flagship school) in the fall 2012 or as soon as they will--hopefully--take her (there is a waiting list). In the meantime, she is going to continue taking college courses and keep on track with her major. She has the option of 1) matriculating into and living on campus at a regional U in order to continue her coursework, then transfer out ASAP or 2) live at home and attend the comm coll (which is now a 4 year school) and enroll as a transient student taking full-time courses. Courses at both schools are the same and numbered the same within the state U system Is one option better than the other? I do know if DD is back at home and taking courses at the comm coll she will be bored silly being with us geezers, but at the same time she will have the opportunity to continue to excel in her classes AND do some extracurricular work at the nearby state park and conservation center, which will add to the strength of her application. OTOH, attending a regional U will keep her around her peers, but the adjustment period may not be worth it if she is intending to transfer out ASAP. Thanks!

MedStudent, I think you may have been hallucinating. DD wants to purse a career related to the sciences, but not pre-med. And I am starting to believe that what really matters is Bachelor's Degree and making contacts in the right field. DD is very personable, very sharp, and has never had a hard time making herself known. I think she will do okay wherever she goes. And I'm taking this grad thing too seriously...so many people I know have entered grad school DECADES after graduating college, and they are all doing fine.

She wants an Interdisciplinary Studies degree, which they offer, but they don't offer the sciences (enviro, geology, marine, etc) part of it.

I don't think it is a tremendous difficulty to transfer mid-year, it's just kind of rough starting all over again...trying to find new roommates (she has to live off-campus, as there is a shortage of on-campus housing), set up a new dorm, get to know where everything is in the area. It's kind of unsettling for an 18 year-old who likes consistency and predictability. But as she tells me, "I'm an adult now!" My bigger concern is: does it look bad to go from uni to uni at the under-classmen level? I would think not too much (after all, it's not a job), especially if the GPA remains high.

Down to the wire in terms of deadlines and DD is vomiting due to the pressure--there seems to be no "better" answer. DD, a freshman at a small, highly selective LAC, has hit a roadblock in terms of courses in her major. The school doesn't offer the courses DD needs and she doesn't want to change her major just to stay at the school (despite the prestige) so she is resigned to leaving at the end of this semester, before she falls farther behind the course track in other schools. Dilemma: what does DD do now? 1) Return home and then begin a new semester Jan 2012 at the local Comm Coll (which she had attended as a h/s junior and senior) where she will fill in all the gaps she has lost since being at the LAC. Then, after that semester and a class during summer, in the fall she can go to one of the 3 Uni's that have her intended major. 2) Immediately transfer into a small state uni that she thinks is "okay", and take her pre-reqs there for a year, then transfer into one of the 3 Unis that have her intended major. She would live on campus. 3) Immediately transfer into one of the 3 Unis (far away, she would live on campus) that have her intended major. The problem with 2 & 3 ^^ is that a midyear transfer is kind of rough, to say the least. Also, with #3, DD is not really excited about any of the Unis that offer her major, and she wants to stall on the inevitable of having to attend. I thought it would be better for her to attend the Comm Coll to buy some time until she gets a better feel for the 3 Unis, visit each one again, maybe overnight, until one of them stands out from the others in some way, good or bad. But I'm wondering, will it look bad on DD's transcript that she has a 8-month gap from the status school, returned to home & comm coll (albeit for a good reason, to get the pre-reqs she needs in her intended field!) and should she just immediately transfer into any Uni and cross her fingers it is the right one? Thanks!

I would like to add something. My dd is attending a very high-status, small LAC. She did phenomenally being home-schooled her last 2 years of high school in the comm coll and thus, she walked into college as a Freshman with 36 credit hours and a 3.9 GPA under her belt. Well! She's failing Gen Chem I, despite hours and hours of study (and we see her doing it here at home with hubby). She is receiving "mediocre" critiques of her essays--this, for a girl who had a 750 on her Reading/Writing SATs! [she IS doing well in 2 other classes.] Anyway, we've figured out what is going on. First, DD never paid much attention to Chem in high school. So in her Gen Chem class she is up against Science majors who have had AP Chemistry in high school. The prof told dd (the two have met several times) "I don't know why those advanced students are in my class, they should be in O-Chem, but they're the majority in my class so I have no option but to accelerate the course and curve the grades." Also, my dd is deficient in a few elementary but key areas of math which were crucial to the early chapters of work. Now, about the other class, a general ed class: dd brought her essay exam home and let me look it over. I KNEW what the issues were, and why the prof marked her down. Unfortunately, my dd has a tendency to write very clearly and very simply. This is great for clarity, but the particular school my daughter attends (I know, 'cuz I'm a graduate!) is highly intellectual, and the students are what my hubby calls eggheads. If a four syllable word can replace a single syllable word, well, gosh darn it, use that big word! We were expected to use impressive vocab to better enhance our discourse and to prove how erudite we were. Finally, part of the issue is the level of preparedness: dd has discovered that the majority of students have attended private, college prep schools, and I mean the name schools, like Choate, Andover/Exeter, Bolles, etc. The kids have been groomed for a long, long time...whereas my poor darling feels like a hick who just stepped off the farm.... Hope this helps.

UPDATE: This weekend dd was home for a few hours and filled us in: many of the seniors close the library at 1 am and meander along the corridors and smoke some weed and/or have a few drinks to relax, sit around outside the dorm suites and talk loudly until 3 am. One of dd's 4 roommates is a late-night gal who falls into this category, and then she comes into the apartment and bangs (stumbles?) her way around. Very noisy. Nobody wants to confront her because she's the one with disassociative personality disorder. Also, it seems that ALL the exterior hydraulic door need adjusting (or need new cylinders) because the outside doors, once opened, slam shut very quickly and very loudly. . This can be really noisy when a steel door is opened 3 feet! DD says it is so loud that the windows shake. From what i understand the maintenance crew is so overtapped (budget cuts) that only the bare minimum of work is being done--the swimming pool is closed most of the time because it isn't being maintained. Unfortunately, living on campus is REQUIRED of all Freshman here in Florida, unless the student lives within X amount of miles or has X amount of credits after h/s graduation.

I think majors have a good deal to do with noise factors and lifestyle. STEM majors do have it tougher than many Lib Arts majors, and there's no way a STEM major can B.S. the professor on a physics exam, the same way a Sociology major might be able to fudge an essay or multiple choice. So a good night's sleep--or a rested mind--is imperative for success in certain majors. The girl down the street--also 18 and attending college 90 miles away--has been coming home practically every weekend since school began in August. I saw her mom today doing some gardening, and stopped by to talk. She said her daughter can't stand the commotion in her dorm suite (4 single bedrooms, 2 baths common area and kitchen) and she has been coming home to do her studying. She even switched a class so she could leave campus on Thursday night and not have to return until lunchtime on Monday Nice to know my dd isn't the only one!

Interesting--we have Laura from Scotland, and Jakesask--who attended college in Canada (quiet) and grad school in the USA (noisy, more focus on drinking). I'm wondering if this is a US "thing", that we're just overall more loud than other people. Our family has spent a lot of time abroad and we have found that Europeans are generally quieter when outside of the immediate family. We Americans have a terrible reputation as being "loud", and there's the old adage that you can hear an American a mile away. So, maybe this carries over into our academic life, too? Don't get me wrong, the European cans be loud. But they seem to keep their voices better modulated; less shrieking and Billie Mays (the TV salesman) in your face kind of attitude. And when the Euros drink, they tend to do so in pubs, which are more conversational than our (American) bars. Just a thought, maybe this is all cultural differences?

Is there something wrong with our family? My husband and I raised our DD to have an indoor voice (remember the rules of grammar school?) and to not slam the door, not turn the TV volume up loud, nor the stereo...not to shout from another room unless it's an emergency. Shouldn't that same courtesy be extended to others outside the home? Can all that ^^be considered a negative? We homeschooling parents wanted our children out of the chaotic public school system. So why is it suddenly now acceptable for our young adult children to be in the environment that just a year ago we were condemning? Don't misunderstand, DD likes to have a good time. She can be loud and boisterous. She's sociable, she laughs a lot. But that's what she's learned you do out in the world, like at the beach, at the gym, or on a boat, or at the bowling alley or a dance party, or sitting on your front porch/patio, around the grill. Home is a quiet place, a place where you relax. It is not a place where you jump on the furniture, throw food across the room, punch holes in walls, play beer pong, or do other dumb things. At least, not in our home. I think off-campus housing with similar souls--and they have to be out there, somewhere, our DD isn't that unique--is the answer.

And that's probably where it's going to end up..trying to find similar young people with similar standards, who want an environment conducive to healthy living. So, off-campus it will have to be.

DD used the above sources ^^ and I also bought some CLEP PREP books cheap off amazon...I think the REA books? Anyway, she took psych, socio, and english comp 1 and did fine. Each course for her took about 3 weeks of study, except English...that one was easy,she just walked in. It was comprehension and essay writing.

We're in the Sunshine State :001_smile:. DD's current school requires all students to live on campus until age 21. Even so, the majority of students over the age of 21 still live on campus. DD is only 18 and we are okay with her living off-campus, as long as she is close to school AND she has some decent roommates. She has a car, but still...we don't want her driving any more than 7 minutes or so, adding another 5 on for parking. She has given up sleeping her her dorm where she is and has returned home and commutes, which is 40 minutes each way. When she's really tired (she has a class until 10 pm!) she stays over in her dorm, but she doesn't sleep well. And try being up for an 8 am class! I guess she will have to think about off-campus housing.

Our DD is currently in college and having a rough time. She went to school--a GOOD school, an academic school--thinking she would have "the college experience". She envisioned herself sitting in a library among busts (statue heads, that is) of great thinkers, poring over books....going back to her dorm room and sharing quiet talks with roommates, listening to classical music, cooking a healthy meal, and then studying in the living room of the apartment among her roommates, who would also be quietly studying. Well, this isn't happening. Of course the library is modern with overhead fluorescent lighting; the quiet talks are a late-night game of Wii, and the healthy meals are scrambled eggs and toast, all she can muster up in a tiny kitchenette with limited facilities. There is noise up and down the building corridors all night, banging (exterior) doors, smoke-filled hallways...I've discussed this before on this forum, that this is a GOOD and highly selective school. Weekends are party time and the music is supposed to end at 2 am, but usually goes until 3 or 4. So we're doing research as DD is desperate to have a "normal" life like she had here at home, when she was a h/s senior and taking f/t classes at the local cc. She went to bed at 11 pm, woke (well rested) at 7:30 am, made her coffee, watched BBC world news, ate a healthy breakfast, and then headed off to comm coll. Everything was peaceful, calm, and conducive to studying. DD is thinking of transferring to another school, one that offers Honors housing or an Intensive Study building...anything where the students are a bit more scholarly. So I've called around, several colleges and universities. The Res Life people are laughing at me! They tell me these are different times, there is so much more happening on campus, these kids have electronics and TVs and computers and video games, fitness centers open around the clock, sports events and pep rallies, parties every night...yes, there are quiet hours, but--conspiratorial tone here, spoken by the Res Life Director--"kids will be kids. Things aren't the same as when we were in school." And when I asked about living with the upperclassmen (my dd already does) I was told that the seniors are the WORST, the 21 year-olds are loud and impatient to graduate. Hello!!! Whatever happened to senior thesis and seminar and internships? Anyone?

Yes, I am familiar with the speaker in the pillow. I bought one years ago for a roommate who played her radio to go to sleep. The sound kept me awake so I went out and bought her the speaker. At the time is was like $9.98 at Radio Shack. The only problem was that the first night she turned up the volume a bit too high. So the next day when she was in class I went over to her bed and adjusted the volume a bit lower. She never noticed. We were both happy.

I need some input before "we" make a big assumption and jump from the frying pan into the fire. dd is having a very hard time at her (away) college. Previously she had been going to the local cc and she was quite happy and led a healthy lifestyle. But she started to run out of courses and she decided to go to a 4-year school to continue her studies. Well, college life has turned out to be a stressful environment for a day person like my dd, who is into fitness, healthy living [no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc] a calm lifestyle and quiet music. Anyway, I am wondering: are all state colleges and universities the same, inasmuch as there is always so much noise and constant nocturnal activity on campus? I did call another university here in our state and asked about the Honors housing, assuming (silly me) that there would be some sort of rules for study hours, quiet time, tc. I was told by the Honors Director that there really isn't anything to prevent students from staying up until 2 or 3 am and that quiet hours are suggestions only. When I asked the Director how late nights and noisy groups of students playing video games or playing beer pong translates into academic success, he had no answer. He then told me that even requesting a "day person" for roommate assignment doesn't guarantee anything, as students like to call themselves "day people" but in reality their day may end at 2 a.m. He said that this is how most young people are nowadays and campus housing no longer has enforced quiet times, like it did in the past. Is this an anomoly for the area in which I live, or is it an all-over problem? Have your children complained? How did they remedy the situation? My dd just cannot continue on 4- or 5- hours of sleep and being stressed by all the drinking, smoking, and general late night activity (doors slamming, car horns honking, people yelling) going on around her.

Our reason is that dd was very particular about the type of college she wanted to go to and how that fit into our budget. She "walked around" 3 big state universities and "toured" 2 smaller state universities. Now she is at the school she had her heart set on she has discovered it's not at all what she thought it would be. What my dd did NOT do was stay overnight on campus--it would have been even better had she stayed over for two nights. She then would have seen how nocturnal the students are (she is a day person) and how much noise they make into the wee hours. And the amount of smoking and drinking and drugs there are on campus to help alleviate the stress of unhealthy living. [that's another post] So I would suggest--hindsight being 20/20--visit the top one or two campuses and do an overnight on campus, if at all possible!

In the meantime I placed an (anonymous) call to the Housing Office, not giving names, gender, location--nothing. The office administrator said this issue should not be handled by an RA as RAs do not have access to confidential medical information. She said it is a serious situation and my dd needs to make an appointment with the Dean of Student Affairs (all confidential, of course) and they will take it from there. I hope dd can get the other two girls to join her. They are all concerned about being known as trouble makers around campus--it's a tiny campus--but there's bad, and then there's worse.

About a month ago our dd, 18, told us that she was walking past her roommate's bedroom, and "I could swear she was talking to the wall, mom." I told dd that the girl was probably on a bluetooth or rehearsing a script, whatever, just ignore it. Simultaneously, the roommate (age 22), who originally said she is a "day person", started coming in late at night, every night, around 1 or 2 am, and being extremely loud. She bangs around the apartment and wakes the other girls up. A week ago the noisy roommate told dd and the others girl that she has disassociative personality disorder, multiple personalities. Also, the girl is becoming extremely messy,never washing her dishes in the sink, leaving her stuff everywhere, etc.Of course, none of the other 3 (quiet, normal) roommates want to confront the girl about her noisiness, in case she becomes agitated or violent during one of her alter personalities. Then again, we don't know much about this condition and if it is severe enough to warrant going to the Housing Dept. or what. What do you suggest? This is a very small LAC and not enough opportunities to swap out roommates. Our dd is unable to get much sleep due to the noise this girl makes so dd is coming home (seems like) every other night, driving 40 minutes one way just to get some rest. I know the 3 roommate could go to housing, but because it's such a small campus (we're talking tiny) there aren't a lot of options. The school has a policy that all students MUST live on campus until age 21, so dd is stuck. Thanks for advice.

Thank you SO much for all the replies. Very helpful. DD is not only poring over (and through) the chem textbook, but she is also teaching herself all the math that goes with it--the practical application. Today she called me in tears:she had spent over 6 hours in the library, trying to make heads and tails of her chemistry. Yesterday it was 4 hours; the day before that, 4 hours, in addition to the time she spent with the TA. Way too much time, she says, considering the class is lecture only, without the lab to help reinforce. The most difficult part is that the course is going at double speed: two chapters per week instead of the usual one chapter per every ten days the other schools are doing. It's not allowing dd time to get her math skills in order. Honestly, she was so overwhelmed in chapters one and two--she had forgotten how to do scientific notation and was struggling with that--that she really should have called it quits then, in order to get the math under her belt first.

Thank you for sharing with us. :grouphug: Our dd arrived home late last night from college with the intention of spending the weekend, clearing her head, and discussing her present situation. She has doubts about her current school, which, although a very selective, highly-rated LAC, just doesn't mesh with her type of learning style. Not only that, but dd has shifted her career focus and discovered that the school has only a handful of classes in her chosen field. So now she's agonizing about what to do. Thank goodness this is her first semester and she has some wiggle room. It's a turbulent time for parents and even more emotional for our children. I'm glad we can communicate openly.

For those who have either taken or taught (or both) college chemistry classes, how did you handle reading those huge textbooks? If you are going at the rate of a chapter a week, more or less, how is it possible to read every word in the chapter, look at all the illustrations, take notes, read all the little blurbs in the sidebars, examine the charts and tables, and answer all the questions at the end of the chapter? I looked over dd's Gen Chem book and she is even highlighting the tiny minutae in the sidebars! Since her instructor tells the student to "read the chapter" that is what dd is doing, reading everything, and I mean, everything. Meanwhile her peers are saying that they aren't reading the book, just skimming through the chapter and paying attention to the math problems, while others say they don't even look at the book, they just look over the assigned math questions (balancing equations, etc) and do them. How can this be? You can't learn chemistry by osmosis. DD is bewildered, because she is expending so much energy remembering concepts, vocab, definitions, theorems, even the teeny tiny facts, yet when it comes for the quizzes, there is nothing about concepts, just math. But each chapter in the book covers so much more than math. Can anyone relate their experience? How are most chem classes designed? Do students actually read all the material, word for word? Do they use Cliff notes? Outlines from Course Hero? Handouts from the instructor? How do they get through it? Thank you.

Can anyone empathize? When using the word "you" in a sentence I don't always mean "you", I mean "one". But dd hears it as you, directed towards her. She takes everything literally and personally. So now when I am speaking to her I find myself in the middle of a sentence having said "you", then correcting myself and starting again to say "one", and halfway through that sentence I realize I would be better off with saying "a person" and try again. Essentially I repeat myself 3 times and my throat is very sore.