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Posts posted by fairfarmhand

  1. 18 hours ago, Pam in CT said:

    I truly don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, @Granny_Weatherwax ... but I may be able to top your story.


    My mom, a teacher, was away for a week at a summer teacher development conference when I, age 11, first had an urgent need for supplies.

    As I CERTAINLY was not going to discuss the matter with my father, a man... I went rifling in my own mother's bathroom. And found tampons.  I then retreated with the box to my bathroom -- which I shared with my brother, then a 6 year old boy, for a close reading of the instructions.

    The instructions were... opaque.  Oh my word how I wish I had saved them.  The centerpiece of the instructions was a one-legged figure, shown in profile, standing on her (?) single leg in a slight crouch, with a Very Enormous hollow... cavity... where the single leg joined the torso.  Into which, the diagram suggested... opaquely, with dotted lines, an arrow, and a disembodied single hand... the tampon was meant to go.

    I studied this carefully.

    It didn't seem plausible. Certainly, the parts on the diagram did not correspond, at all, with the parts I had to work with.

    I struggled. Mightily. My brother knocked, I barked at him to use the other bathroom, I struggled further. But what was I going to do?  My mother was not due to return for FOUR DAYS.  The cell phone had not yet been invented. I managed, poorly on the first go, better on the second go, and etc.

    By the time my mother returned, I was managing fine. 

    I told her.

    She visibly blanched; she had not expected this, so soon.  However, she was (and remains) a planner; and she brought me to a rarely-used drawer in a never-used-by-me linen closet, and presented to me.... the pads. With the belt.  Which -- I dunno if this was true of your belt,  my belt was in the 1970s -- had METAL BUCKLES.

    I blinked.

    I believe I literally said, "how are those... better than tampons??"

    She blanched.  And said, embarrassed but powering through the moment nonetheless, "tampons are... really meant for older girls, honey."

    "WHY?"  (See, she'd taught me, always ask why... which, then as now, in every generation, ALWAYS comes back to bite the mothers...)

    She had a reason, sort of -- years later, when I told this story in her presence, tears of laughter rolling down my face, she revealed that HER mother had had some notion about intact hymen or something -- but even in the moment, she was unable to get the words out.

    And so tampons it was, and we all lived Happily Ever After.


    This site.



    Has dozens of scans of old booklets and such from a long time ago about menstruation. I wonder if yours is included? I don't have time to look.

    • Thanks 1
  2. I kinda think you’re right about the adrenaline. Your body has probably gotten used to needing it to function. I don’t know that you need to worry about the what if’s. I would just be glad you are currently getting some good sleep, because even if you’re sleepy all the time, it’s good for you. 

    honestly, after all you’ve been through you may need more than 8 hours for awhile.  In your shoes I would sleep as much as possible until your dh comes home.

    • Like 15
  3. I do for my son. My dds doors stick and if I open the door it's rather noisy and would wake them

    But my son...he's 13 almost 14.

    He's 5 ft 10, tallest one in the family and quickly looking less and less like my little boy. The sole time he seems little is when he's sleeping. The rest of the time, hes an annoying, hilarious, loud, impulsive middle school boy. But not when he's sleeping.

  4. There are so many other things to get offended about, that this one doesn't rate in my world.

    But, while we're on the topic, My Maiden name, or previous surname, or virgin name or birth name, or whatever you want to call the last name by which I went before I married, Is a relatively obscure name that in other cultures is sometimes used as a first name. My dd is planning on naming her baby boy that name. Which makes me pretty happy. 

    • Like 6
  5. 2 hours ago, Lanny said:

    I read there were three (3) guns on the Set.  He was told the gun was "Cold" (unloaded) when it was handed to him. 

    First rule when people begin to handle firearms is that there are no "unloaded" weapons. Always assume a weapon is loaded!

    Second rule is not to point a weapon at something/someone you do not want to kill if necessary.

    Sadly there are many accidents where people are killed by "unloaded" guns.

    I wonder what training actors are given when handling weapons. Because our whole family’s first instinct when handed a weapon is to check if it’s clear. Even ifthe person who handed it to just cleared it. When my dh and his brothers get together to shoot, it’s ridiculous how much clearing of weapons happens just because it’s such an ingrained habit. 

    (not saying that the actor is at fault at all, I’m just curious about how this is handled. Obviously handing weapons to someone with little training is a terrible idea. And if some intense training for all actors who handle anything but a plastic mock up of a gun would help it might be a good idea. Because mistakes happen.)

    I do not understand why they don’t go to fake weapons that cannot truly fire. Is there a reason?


    eta: this was a terrible accident. The actor did not intentionally murder someone but it was an accident. Just like when other things happen and someone dies on set. I’m sure Baldwin and so many on set are going over and over the things that happened that day and figuring out how it happened and all the “if onlys”. 

    eta: I have no knowledge of the actors political views. Does that make a difference as to whether it was an accident?

    • Like 3
  6. 5 hours ago, scholastica said:

    Have the providers done a GeneSight test to see what meds are genetically compatible with the patient? If not, asking for one may help. It can give guidance as to what may work and what is contraindicated. Usually, it isn’t covered by insurance but they do a sliding scale fee. It can be very affordable.

    Yes! I meant to say this. I called the place and they adjusted the bill to a fraction of waht it originally was

    • Like 1
  7. 26 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

    Personally, I’d take my fridge along, and I’d look on the local used market or at Restore for the rest, and plan on using the fridge for garage overflow down the road, and buying a new set later on if I still wanted it.


    This is what I'd do. I would continue my wish list shopping once the supply chain issues clear up.

  8. 3 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

    19 years. Three high school grads. Just one left at home. She's an 8th grader and we are working on an application to a Catholic high school. We are going to an Open House on Sunday. 

    I keep saying "just to give us options" and "we'll check it out and see what it is like" and "we'll think about it for the next few months". But deep down I know it is going to happen barring some family financial crisis. 

    She is a joiner and she needs people. I have given it a go trying to find a community for her and trying to find an outlet for things that she would enjoy participating in (like theatre) and I just can't give her what she needs where we live. 

    I don't love it. But I don't hate it. Big sigh. 

    Yeah, next year, my ds will start at the county virtual school. This is also my 19th year homeschooling.

    And I feel exactly the way you do.

    I've gotten a lot more pragmatic about homeschooling after all these years. It's less about my identity and more about getting the kids what they need, after laying out the pros and cons. I'm surprisingly ambivalent about the end of whole thing. I guess I'm just tired. 

    • Like 6
  9. 3 hours ago, ktgrok said:

    So DD11 is looking at stuff to decorate her room, starting to be interested in what she wears more, etc and so I showed her some stuff on pinterest. Now she's talking about "goblin core" and "dark academia" aesthetics, so I sit with her and we looked at things and jokingly I said we should try to find my aesthetic. 

    First, I find a quiz that wants me to rate various bands I've never heard of. I close it and say, "it's too hard!" DD11 stares at me and says, "the internet fashion quiz was too hard?"

    That starts the laughter, lol. 

    Then we find a few more, and basically realize, I have no aesthetic. However, as we are reading about various ones I'd try to identify. We got to one that says something about, "prefers apple products" and I stop and muse out loud, "..I DID just order an apple cider scented candle...but that seems oddly specific. Why apple and not say, vanilla or something?" Then I look at the photo and realize they mean apple the technology brand, like the macbook I was using to search on, and my iphone. Y'all, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. And then I gave up. 

    But truly, me confusing Apple products with pie and cider had me cracking up throughout the night, every time I thought of it. (not as funny as I type it..maybe you have to be slap happy from 48 hours of near nonstop packing for it to be really funny?)

    What quiz did you take?


    • Like 1
  10. 7 hours ago, Farrar said:

    I'm curious what you think of Stephanie Land profiting off her own story, then TechWife? Like, I assume she made a great deal of money off the rights for her memoir.

    I'm curious how her family members feel about their parts of the story. The ex-boyfriend (husband?) her parents, the others who were cast in a less favorable light. Are they still living? Do they still keep in touch?

    • Like 1
  11. 3 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

    OP, the more I think about this, the more I'm convinced you need to look internally at what's feeding this.  Are you susceptible to FOMO (far of missing out)? Are you trying to prove something to someone? What and to whom?  Do you generally struggle with saying no? Were you sent a message by an authority figure/sub-cultural norms that saying no=being mean? Do you generally struggle with long-term/big picture thinking? Identifying the root problem is the first step in preventing the problem in the future. You don't have to get into it here on the boards if you don't want to, but it's important you drill down deeper and address what's going on.

    This is really good. 

    • Like 1
  12. I am glad you got to go see family and I'm so sorry your parents have suffered so much as have so many in your native country. Hope things will turn a corner for your family with the new set up.


    Welcome back!

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  13. Also, one thing to remember is that when you have every moment structured, it's really hard to fit in much unstructured social time. My kids love spending afternoons of unstructured time with friends. If we're never home and they're always in structured activities, they have no time to develop those deep friendships that come from just hanging out. And I have much less energy and enthusiasm to invite their friends over for these times, because laundry and dishes and can I just sit down a minute, PLEASE!

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  14. It wasn’t till about 16-17 that my teens started doing that kind of stuff. I have an almost 14 yo boy and he’s more like your dd. He enjoys the fun of some classes and all but I manage his get togethers and activities. My older girls were the same.

    • Like 1
  15. 5 minutes ago, SKL said:

    I've told my girls they can live here as long as they want, provided they are housemates that people can live with iykwim.  They know I mean it.

    I do want them to go to college at the traditional time if they can.  I have seen too many people think they are going later and then find it too difficult once they've been away from school.  But I accept that they, like a high % of young people (including me), may change their major as they get to know their adult selves better.  Most of the early college courses apply to most majors anyway.

    YES! I've always told my kids that they can change majors as needed but that means that they MUST do the core classes of their freshman and sophomore years. There are a lot of kids who want to jump right into the coursework of their chosen major (which isn't all bad) but after a couple of semesters figure out it's not what they want and they have to start at square one. So, choose a major, pencil it in, but really hit the core hard and then after taking 1-5 classes in their major they can decide to swap if needed. I'd rather the kids lose a semester or half a semester than two years of course work. 

    • Like 1
  16. 1 hour ago, regentrude said:

    @SKL what I would actually suggest to a teen is to identify things that give them JOY.  Something they find interesting. Reassure them that this is all they need to be concerned about in the now. The rest will follow.
    Focus on direct experience, at the expense of introspection. In my experience, the last thing a depressed individual needs is more introspection.

    Yes, learning to live in the right now is so helpful. Being too future focused tends to produce anxiety. Being too past focused tends to produce depression. Staying present for the beauty of today is life giving.

    • Like 6
  17. Do you feel comfortable posting pictures? What kinds of things gather there? Are you needing storage ideas?

    I have a shelf with pegs in my dining room and that’s where purses and keys hang. For coziness, I add throws with texture, rugs, live plants and scented candles. 

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