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dmmetler

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Everything posted by dmmetler

  1. I went to an undergrad school which actually had a campus on the nearby air force base, and a lot of the personnel took classes on the main campus as well. From what I can see, even many of the "I went into the AF because I didn't want to go to college" were willing to take advantage of the programs available once they were actually in the military, when they were stateside (that was during the gulf war, so a lot of the base personnel were deployed. I had more than a few classes where multiple students were deployed over the course of the semester, leaving a situation that felt kind of like some sort of movie about the Rapture).
  2. One thing I did for BK, who has pretty severe LD's, and who really, really struggles with math is to have her to do the math for elementary education class at the community college. It counted as a high school math credit, but since it was focused on teaching strategies for elementary math, the actual math was pre-algebra and below, and there was a lot of focus on using manipulatives and teaching in different ways. She had adapted math through Algebra 2 on her transcript before she came to me, but as far as I can tell, that was due mostly to being a nice kid and extra credit for things like making posters about the Pythagorean theorem, not actual understanding. The CC class gave her math at the level she really needed, in a way that helped her actually learn strategies that were helpful to her, and also gave her a little more confidence. The two semester sequence meets the general math requirement for degrees that do not have a specific math requirement, but are easier than college algebra, so if she decides to go back to colleges in the region, she won't need to take more math in many programs. For other subjects, we mostly changed the way she got content in and out-so lots of audio books and immersion reading for history, science, and literature (Learning Ally and Bookshare, plus a kindle with immersion reading were a big help) and lots of oral output. The community college selects textbooks available in this format-and, in fact, most have a digital code that includes a "Read to me" feature. She was interested in health, and did lifeguard training, CPR, First aid, and similar classes as part of her high school science (and it also gave her an in to good part time work-and now that she is out of school, she is working part time at two different pools, while she figures out what she wants to do). One thing her FOO was really good at was giving her life skills.
  3. FWIW, my DD got better at explaining pain once she had language to use. I'm not sure if that was the app, or just getting practice giving feedback to her therapists, though. It does go through framing pain very early on. and recognizing which parts of pain are more "in the brain" and which are physiological symptoms that need attention. I think it's in the free modules if you want to go through it yourself.
  4. Contact Belin-Blank. As a 5th grader, CTY would accept the ACT/SAT, but they have a different test they use for that age group. They don't start using the SAT/ACT until 7th. Belin-Blank has been very supportive of younger students, you don't have to pay a membership fee, and they would probably have suggestions. They seem more 2e aware as well. Once you have the scores, you can send them to CTY or TIPS, and they'll happily let you pay the fee after the fact. In DD's case, I had them send the free score reports to talent search agencies, and they happily put her on their mailing list so we knew about opportunities, but I've only paid the yearly fees if she wanted to do a class/program (or go to an awards ceremony-they are more than willing to let you pay once your DC has a score needed to qualify for Grand Ceremony). If your former school would let him take it, do it there, or arrange it through them. There is only one test where the state matters, and that's the PSAT in 11th grade--and even then, it only matters for students who are attending school full time out of state, like a boarding school situation. And finding a receptive place to take it is far more important. DD's BFF lives over a state line, but does most of her testing at a particular school here because they are very friendly to homeschooled girls testing with them, and the local school district isn't. It is fairly common for high school cheerleaders who do travel to end up taking the SAT or ACT while at a competition, and there is a thread on one of the parent boards I'm on about people to contact for AP testing, because one of the biggest competitions of the year hits AP-and it's better to pay the fee to both a school there and one at home now rather than get to May and have your child be unable to take the test at all. The other place I'd suggest calling is the students with disabilities office at your local CC or university. At least here, the CC has a dedicated staff that just handles specialized testing for students with disabilities, and they do give the ACT on National dates and the ACT-Residual, so they are an approved test site. They have been flexible at letting DD do tests there even before she was a student, as long as it is a test they offer anyway. The University has the same sort of office, and is also a test site for the ACT, but I've never used them, since the CC is much closer. If a school partners with vocational rehab and has an office for that program on campus, they are likely to be a lot more familiar with lower incidence disabilities.
  5. I really wonder if the Curable app DD uses to learn strategies for pain would help? A lot of what it focuses on is really the same CBT strategies used for anxiety as well, and in learning how to ride it out, and for her, at least, being able to start and stop it and control the therapy part, and to go and queue up a particular situation seemed to help quite a bit. It's not designed for kids, and some of the situations discussed simply don't apply to children (for example, my teenager doesn't have fears that she won't be able to pay bills or feed her family due to chronic pain...), but what she could use was helpful. I also wonder if it would help him to learn more about cognition and how such situations work? I think part of DD's fascination with cognitive science is that it gives her a way to understand herself better, but in an intellectual way, not an emotionally triggering one. The app also helped with that because every lesson started out with the science part of it, which honestly seemed more like listening to a Great Courses lecture, and then went into ways that you can apply this to pain, and to the emotional responses to pain.
  6. I have kind of a strange situation in that my DD has been in adult situations for years, and, especially since about age 12, has been there without a parent present. In her case, we were very pragmatic, not just about values, but about the law-that legally, her college classmates CANNOT date her or be involved with her, and that for her protection AND THEIRS, all contacts need to be in public places, extremely open, etc. This really is both at school, since she started taking classes at the community college at 12, and socially, because she has only a few situations where she is with other people on a social basis, and one of them is a gaming group of mostly adults. Fortunately, the adults are ALSO very concerned about this and do keep that boundary, but it was important for DD to know. She has also been required to do the required awareness training, and has had the concept of informed and enthusiastic consent drummed into her head-along with the idea that as long as she is underage, and a partner is overage, she CANNOT legally consent, and that even the perception of impropriety can totally destroy someone else's life.
  7. FWIW, in my FOO, that's exactly what it meant. Going with a group of girls, fine. Going with a date, not fine. And, honestly, I just plain didn't go to dances once we got to the age where everyone had paired off, because it is super uncomfortable to be a third wheel. Or parties. Including the skating parties held by the Mennonite School, because let me tell you, being a single girl there made you just as much as third wheel as at the homecoming dance (and there were just as many dark corners and friends willing to provide cover for said couples). Or much of anything social, especially once we got to about junior year and almost all of my friends were dating. I had probably more restrictions than almost anyone else in my high school. And honestly, more than many of my Mennonite friends who went to the Mennonite high school. I was also, on the unofficial "senior superlatives" list that DIDN'T make it in the yearbook, voted "Most Likely to Discover TeA in college". I never dated when I was living at home, because there were so many rules and restrictions. But when I went to college, not only were all restrictions basically off all at once, I had NO experience in navigating the dating world at all. Nor did I have a supportive peer group initially who I had been friends with for years locally who could help me, because I hadn't yet made those connections with other students, and even if I had, no one wants to admit that they're still at the stage a lot of people are at in middle school when you're a college freshman. It makes it really easy to get emotionally connected to the wrong person when you are away from home, a little homesick, a little lonely, and extremely hormonal. In a lot of ways, I think "Dating" at 14 makes a little more sense than waiting until 16, because at 14, a parent is driving the kids to the movie theater, etc, and it is more likely to be an entire group of kids that may contain a "couple" or two-which are likely to be a rather constantly in flux mass as connections are made and broken. At 16, it is far easier to connect to one person and to make plans that don't involve parents, since even if your teen doesn't have access to a car/drive, they can still have friends who do, and privacy is easier to obtain. And even dating at 16, assuming no early high school graduation, makes a heck of a lot more sense than a teen waiting to have those early experiences when they are away from home.
  8. Phi Kappa Phi is the equivalent to Phi Beta Kappa for land grant colleges, so it holds some prestige.
  9. Corelle-we got a set of plain white with slightly fluted edges as a wedding gift, 25 years ago, and have replaced pieces/added to it over time. The same pattern seems to come out about every 5-6 years. We have tile floors in the kitchen/dining room, and Corelle seems to be able to handle the first drop, but not the second, so we usually lose a place setting or so a year, and about the time we're running low, the pattern comes back. I have my grandmother's China. I'm terrified to use it, so it stays in the cabinet most of the time. I've been tempted to just start using it daily, and see if it can handle the dishwasher, but I'm a little afraid that I'd end up with an angry ghost army of grandmothers haunting me....
  10. My DD would be disappointed, but she has done enough competitions where you get to the end of the day and they ran out of medals (or whatever) hours ago and they’ll mail one, six months later, (if you're lucky), that she would probably be not too disappointed, since she still won, and we’d likely offer the gift certificate and see if anyone we knew would be willing to buy it, so she’d get that much money. Having said that, she’s a pretty privileged kid, who has also had good things happen, so it's easier to be pragmatic about it. It makes a world of difference when this is one of the few wins a child has ever had.
  11. BK is my bonus kid-not mine biologically, but I've been her primary advisor for the last few years as she has headed into adulthood, since her parents cannot supply that kind of support. She gets extra time and breaks, but not much else-honestly, I think the neuropsych eval didn’t even consider how much fatigue was able to be compensated for in a homeschool environment, so she didn’t request the special testing. At this point, it doesn’t matter-she will be going back to the CC in Jan, and if she decides to transfer to finish, her GPA is all that matters, and she gets much better supports there than she did from the ACT folks. (She had a stroke-type event about a year and a half ago, right at the end of her senior year, so the last school year was lost regaining skills and completing the classes she had been taking DE, and this fall has been spent on vocational planning taking into account some new limitations she now faces. The CC has been very supportive and willing to revise her plan based on her new medical concerns).
  12. For my BK, it would be a game changer. She has taken the ACT three times, twice with accommodations, once without. In all cases, her first test taken was the highest score, the second the next, and the last two were in the toilet. She just plain only had about an hour of concentration in her. For super high performing kids, it might make the difference between a 30+ and a 34+, but most schools which have scholarships for the 34+ want a single sitting, and all the highly competitive schools that have super high ACT averages superscore, and tend to have an affluent enough population that they are probably doing this anyway.
  13. Yes, curable is the right name. It's really designed for older patients (and sometimes it was using examples that definitely didn't apply to a teen), but seemed worth a try, especially at $15/month, and apparently was useful for college age patients within the practice. DD's interests are animals, brains, and animal brains, so learning about the neurology and psychology of pain was interesting, even when she was inclined to dismiss the activities.
  14. FWIW, DD has had several classes where the first test was lower than she expected, and in every case, it has been adjusting to the professor's expectations (things like not being careful enough with significant figures or labels, not using the right format (she once turned in an English and psych essay on the same day, and had formatted the English one in APA and the psych one in MLA...oops). She has always adjusted, found out where she went wrong, and went on to not only survive but thrive in the class. There definitely was a learning curve coming from homeschooling, and one of the biggest lessons has been that each professor is different and has different expectations. In some ways, I think it is good-she had to let perfectionism go and learn to ask for help and find out where she messed up. Better to learn that in a freshman level college class than in a work situation where others are depending on you, or in graduate school when your dissertation is rejected.
  15. In her case, the big problem was that her growth spurt had pulled her muscles and tendons very, very tight, and her knee was slipping slightly out of position when she pushed off or came down hard, and then snapping back, which then send her into muscle spasms, Therapy focused first on relaxing those muscles so they could be gradually stretched, letting the pressure off, and then in strengthening laterally so everything stays in place. Part of it is just waiting for her muscles to catch up, which they have been doing over the last 8-9 months, so that once the pressure was off and her muscles stopped going into spasms as soon as they were slightly stretched, she could take advantage of that growth (the Ortho who DX'd it in may as being just growth related wasn't wrong, but also didn't realize the pressure that cheer was putting on her joints and muscles and that she had this feedback loop set up where her body was responding badly. She also did some CBT focused on understanding pain and the psychological parts of pain, because the anxiety over how bad this was and whether it was getting better was initially sending her into spasms as soon as she was even touched. We used the Curative app at home, which isn't designed for kids, but put control over that piece literally in the palm of her hand. She's been going to a pain clinic that focuses primarily on athletes and former athletes, and I think that helped, both because they know the sport (her primary doctor was the same one who handles the college cheer and dance teams) but also because they had more a coaching style, if that makes any sense.
  16. There is also "Every Witch Way", on Hulu, which is very similar to Sabrina (it is a US version of a show from Mexican Nickelodeon). There is a spin off, WITS academy, taking place at a boarding school for tween witches/wizards and teen guardians (supervisors who help witches manage the real world with the help of technology) that is a little more intense
  17. There also are cases where a recruited athlete could legitimately have an injury during the summer. At the time college teams and recruiters for cheer were doing tryouts and building their squad, DD would have been fine last season (and indeed, did try out for and was placed on a full travel team for this season). By August, she could barely walk, and had she been on a school or college team, would have been sidelined for this season, but, at least for the college her team coach is the coach for as well, probably wouldn't have been dropped from the roster this season, particularly for an athlete receiving no money to participate. They take more athletes than will actually hit the mat for competition anyway, and one reason is that injuries are common, and by the time DD was cleared to return, someone else might well be out. If a student's athletic profile was faked, how much harder to fake documentation of an injury and a student's decision to leave the team vs ride the bench?
  18. After 2 months of a relatively intensive therapy schedule for joint pain, DD has been released as of today. She's still going to stay out of competitive cheer this season (and is on the fence as to if she wants to go back at all-she's very worried about another flare) but has been graduallyable to resume physical activities except cheer. We may look for a more light/casual sports option after January when she no longer has the World Congress and international travel on her plate. She’s definitely happier and relieved, and, after 6 months of increasing pain, to have it actually resolve in the time anticipated is something of a surprise, because I think we were both braced for it not to work. We're all feeling pretty good here now 🙂
  19. Memphis as a whole is almost completely opposite, and the median household income is only about 35k. Quite a contrast.
  20. Rhodes is a small LAC in Memphis, one of the CTCL schools. It is originally Presbyterian, but now largely functions as a non-sectarian school, although it still has a fairly large religious studies program. It is a strong science LAC, with a lot of focus on health careers. Rhodes is physically located in midtown, which is one of the most wealthy parts of the city. It is across the street from Overton Park, which is a large greenspace considered something so important that an interstate was diverted to preserve it, which houses the Brooks art museum, the Levitt Shell (large outdoor concert venue, and the place Elvis's first major concert was held), and the Memphis Zoo. The midtown area has a lot of quirky arts venues, small restaurants, and shops nearby. Car, bike, and scooter shares are available on campus. Public transit access is minimal, and many students have cars on campus. On campus housing is required for the first two years, and is guaranteed for all four. About 50% of campus participates in Greek life, with rush in the Spring semester. About 70% of students participate in study abroad, and almost everyone does some sort of internship, research or practicum experience. Students regularly publish and attend at/present at conferences. They have a Neuroscience major, and unprompted, offered that they have a professor who focuses on reproductive behavior of lizards. They do offer research and practicum options in conjunction with the Memphis Zoo. Having said that, they have not had anyone at JMIH or the TN state Herpetology conference in the last few years. (Which is probably not relevant to anyone else reading this!). There seems to be a wide range of campus activities and groups. The college, as a whole, seems to be trying to be diverse and inclusive, but the student body doesn't reflect that much yet (one of the students commented that he wished he'd realized just how different the campus was from the city-he hadn’t expected it to be 70+% white. I suspect it is even less diverse as far as SES goes). Credit from DE, AP, IB is limited to 32 credits. DE is generally not accepted for classes used to meet core high school requirements, or for classes offered just to high school students on high school campuses or off campus centers. AP generally requires a 5 to get credit, although a 4 will sometimes give placement. Like most LAC's, majors are not declared until Sophomore year, and there is a required core of liberal arts courses. Many courses are unusual and quirky. Composite majors and double majors are encouraged. Most students graduate in 4 years, with a few exceptions (education is a double major automatically and student teaching is done in a 5th year, with the option of doing a master's,which is something DD is considering). Summer practicums, study abroad, and internships for credit are common. Some internships, research, and practicums are paid. DD attended classes today, and enjoyed them, finding the ones she attended discussion based and very interactive. Class sizes are small (our student guide said her largest class in the last five semesters was 26, and her smallest 7). Vegetarian and vegan options were available in the cafeteria, although the cafeteria was a bit crowded (probably due to the large number of invited prospective students and parents there today). DD said they were OK, but not exciting. The dorm layout is a mix of more traditional double rooms and suites, with most first and second year students living in the more traditional dorms. Application is via the common app. The admissions counselor I spoke to said that they want to know how you took advantage of homeschooling and used it to your advantage, so show that on the common app, and for TN folks using a cover school, to go ahead and have the cover school do their stuff, but do the homeschool supplement as well. While they have a reputation for not being homeschool friendly, I really didn't get that vibe (which may be due to DD being part of this particular group of prospective students-having said that, she was the only homeschooled kid among the parents that I talked to-the others were a mix of public and private schools). Overall, DD liked it-the big downside, to her, is that it's in Memphis, and having grown up here, it's not exciting to consider going to school here. She liked the feel, and plans to apply. It will take a pretty big financial award to make it affordable-the base COA is about 60k/yr, and the average award about 24k, which leaves a lot more uncovered than what she would pay at some of the other schools on her list, where she qualifies for automatic aid (and where the total cost of attendance is quite a bit lower). Summary: pros (for DD): major/coursework size research options location (in relation to the zoo and within the city). cons: location (in her hometown) lack of diversity cost
  21. I'm thinking that I'll take a leaf from Ruth's book, since DD is up to at least 3, and possibly more transcripts-local college, flagship Out of State U, umbrella school for meeting state requirements, and then also has a lot of stuff not reflected well on either, so weaving them together is going to be necessary.
  22. The Legoland discovery center Is better for younger kids. DD outgrew it about age 10.
  23. FWIW, as I mentioned above, it took a pediatrician and not one, not two, but three specialists before the third took DD's pain seriously. They ruled out the worst stuff, including JRA and the like, but meanwhile, she was left believing that this was no big deal and continued pushing her body, and pretty much stopped mentioning that it hurt more and more because she'd been told it was just something kids went through. It wasn't until we found someone who actually knew what kind of stress her joints were under, who recognized that this was not a paranoid parent or overdramatic teen, but a real issue.
  24. That sounds familiar. DD has been struggling with knee pain following a pretty big growth spurt for several months. In her case, it’s that the growth spurt caused a lot of tension on her ligaments and tendons, and when she was doing high impact sports, it caused a lot of strain and pulling, which over time worsened. The first two orthopedists and her pediatrician all noticed the tightness, but there was no obvious injury on the MRI, so felt that it was transitory and would pass. A sports medicine specialist who works with college cheer teams recognized immediately what was happening. After almost 2 months off of cheer, PT and massage therapy, she is back to “it’s tight and a little sore if I do too much, but not bad”. It’s worse on her dominant side because she was using that leg more, but the tension is obvious in both legs. On a really bad day, other joints ache, too. It’s not growing pains, exactly, but it is growth related and hits kids who are very active the hardest. There are a couple of related conditions, some with names, some not, depending on which tendons are affected. In general, the treatment path is the same-rest, ice, and PT/massage to help the muscles relax and reduce pain, but mostly, wait and eventually, you stop growing and the muscles catch up to the bones.
  25. We had one who did that. fortunately, he got too heavy to scale mountains with just his claws by about 5 months old... I have scars on my arm from when a cat got startled and jumped out of my arms-using me as his springboard. A nice little row of little round puncture marks on my arm, one per claw. DH comments that if I ever end up in the ER unconscious, they're going to think I am an IV drug user who had no clue where my veins are!
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