Good morning! We are planning to fly with our family to the Bahamas in a few weeks. For the last week or so my husband and I have been looking at each other every morning after watching the news and asking each other, "Should we cancel our trip?" We love to travel, and have flown out of the country many times, but the ebola news coverage has us a little intimidated. I feel that the CDC is not being truthful and that so far the US is not prepared, and that leads me to think that possibly the Bahamian islands are also not prepared. I do not really want to be in the Bahamas if an outbreak occurs there, and I am a little worried about flying since we are still allowing flights to and from the affected West African countries. WWYD?

nm

I also recommend the recipe that is on the back of Kraft Marshmallow Creme. I've made that recipe for years and it is amazing. I've never had it fail. A few years ago they changed the recipe from semi-sweet chocolate chips to baker's chocolate. I still just use chocolate chips. Oh my goodness I am craving fudge!:tongue_smilie:

I am not their favorite, not even close. But I am just at my wit's end at their lack of interest in our life. It has become progressively worse. For years they were preoccupied with my grown brother as he was in and out of a lifestyle of drugs, petty crime, and the like. Now they are engulfed in my sister's ultra-dramatic life and have been for YEARS. My brother is still the same but he is getting older and slowing down a bit. He still can't hold a job and I think he just moves from one couch to another at almost 40 years old. My sister loves dumping her kids off on my parents. They keep my niece at least two nights a week. She spends every Sunday with them and either Saturday night or Sunday night, sometimes both, and then during the week here and there. Whenever we have a family gathering my parents are "stuck" taking care of my sister's kids because my sister ignores them. They are enmeshed other life and all of her problems. My kids spend the night at their house maybe twice a year. They never ask my kids to come over and on the rare occasion they do, guess who else will always be there? Yep, my niece. It drives me nuts. She has clothes, toys, and her own bed there. My kids feel like second class grandchildren. They are old enough that they are not blind to the inequity of it. But now my parents have really kicked it up a notch. They never call, they never have us over except for Christmas dinner, and they never ask us or our kids to do anything. My mom was supposed to go out of town this week. She texted me that a family member had died. I thought she texted because she was at the hospital and didn't want to leave the room and wanted to be quiet. When I called her, it turns out she had been at home for the last 3 days, she didn't go out of town, and she texted me from her house. Texted me to let me know my cousin had died. Maybe I am old fashioned but I thought it was impersonal. So today we were at the memorial. I was talking to her and she asked how the kids were. And it was as if I was talking to a distant relative that didn't know my kids very well. It made me so sad. It has happened before but for some reason it hurt more face to face. It also didn't help that they had my niece with them at the memorial (sister wasn't there, I don't know why they had my neice, because my sister was at home). Neither my sister nor my brother came today. Recently she said, "I need to have the kids over sometime" and I was like, "they would love it, just let me know when." and as usual she never follows up. My parents are missing out on our lives. We invite them over and they come but they never reciprocate. And it hurts to hear her tell me in passing that my brother or sister was at their house for lunch or dinner. When they come over they act like a distant aunt and uncle instead of grandparents. Yet they are not like that with my brother and sister. My dh says that I should confront them about it. But honestly, I don't think I could do it, and I don't even know where to start. And I can assure you that the relationship would not be repaired, they would passive aggressively take it out on me forever. For example, about 12 years ago we missed a Christmas Eve dinner with my dad's extended family because we were going to a Christmas Eve service, and my parents have made sure that we were not invited to anything of my dad's family ever since. They get together regularly and my parents tell my siblings when and where but never tell us. I have told them to please let me know when they are getting together and they still don't. It is bizarre. My mom likes to be the go-between for me and my siblings and for me and our extended families on both sides. I have thought that she is the reason that my brother and I are not close. This may sound strange, but I think she has talked bad about me and made me out as a goody-two-shoes so that she can be closer to him and gain his loyalty. Thank you for reading. I don't even know what I am asking... Maybe advice, maybe some of you have a similar situation and can offer some coping skills. All I know is that I want something to change. I want her to know that I am not happy with the status quo, and at this point I don't even expect it to change, I just want her to know that I don't appreciate it.

I wholeheartedly understand. I sometimes feel like I have no one. My dh is my friend, but my female adult friendships have been riddled with drama, hurt, and disappointment. I don't even hope for a close friend anymore. I know lots of people, but I just can't get beyond the small talk zone, and frankly I get tired of small talk. I don't fit in with most homeschoolers in my area anyway, so that does not help.

Yes, we usually play the Yo-Yo-Ma station or light jazz station on Pandora. During November/December we play Christmas music. During lunch time/chore time I let the kids crank up whatever they like and we dance around. We listen music without lyrics while we are doing school.

I completely understand. We have a puppy and I completely forgot how much work and time they take. I swear I cried off and on for weeks, and even had health issues due to the stress. Thankfully I think we have turned a corner and things are getting better. I never remember things being so tough with my first dog. But I didn't have children, our furniture was old hand-me-downs that already had so much wear and tear, and our floors were tile. I had all the time and patience in the world and still made lots of mistakes. It has been a difficult adjustment. I don't foresee that we will have to rehome her at this point, but I was thisclose so many times. One thing I noticed in the dog community is that you will get NO sympathy whatsoever about finding your dog a new home. I could not believe how opinionated people can be about getting a dog and then changing your mind. It seems that we are supposed to know everything there is to know about having a puppy before we actually have one, and if heaven forbid we have a bad fit or the dog just won't work, well, we should have not gotten a dog. I am referring to dog-related message boards. Sorry about your situation. I know it is stressful.

We are! Everything is on hold until this game ends. The kids and I are GLUED to the TV. GO USA! :patriot:

My dd is interested in blogging but we can't seem to find teen or young adult blogs. Does anyone know of a good blog for teens? Thanks!

I went to Target last week and found several options for the simple "Happy Father's Day" option. Yesterday I went to Hallmark and had to fight tears as I looked at the cards. I felt that they were all especially sappy and heart-tugging. Someone that worked there asked if I needed any help and I couldn't even answer her because I was so choked up.

This: http://nofearentertaining.blogspot.com/2011/05/mexican-chicken-bake.html I found it on pinterest. Talk about a pot of nastiness. It looked, smelled, and tasted like vomit. At one point I realized just how disgusting it was going to be, and I started laughing as I was cooking. It was too late at that point and I just had to finish making it. I decided to post this recipe as my answer, then... Before I replied I asked dh to tell me which meal was the worst flop ever (married 20 yrs) and he said this very recipe. Epic grossness.

...is to make sure I know about every single thing that my friends or my children's friends are doing without us. Does anyone else have this experience? I am a tough girl but my heart is starting to break for my teen that doesn't get invited to anything but has to watch it all unfold on FB. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like as a teen if FB had existed. I think I would have been so depressed. I knew that I was left out of things but didn't have to see it constantly posted on my wall, KWIM? Thanks for letting me complain.

Hanna Andersson T-shirts for women last much longer than other tees in my opinion. Target used to carry the Cherokee brand of tees that were thicker and they last FOREVER. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find them for the last several years, now all they have are those super thin tees. I tried Eddie Bauer and I don't think they hold their shape well and they look cheap around the neck. Lands' End tees are okay.

Unload dishwasher Fold her own clothes and put away Fold towels Sweep Use Clorox wipes on bathroom sink Clean toilet---she does a great job! Dust furniture Sweep garage Set the table Windex windows

No, but I am definitely considering it for the summer. I am thinking of changing the way I pay for chores (right now we pay a certain amount per week but I am wanting to change it to paying per chore, because I have to remind them way too many times to do something. If I pay per chore I will not remind them so we can build their memory skills! ;). ) Additionally, I am thinking that I will pay them for reading books and for memorizing scripture. There is no reward that they would enjoy more than cold, hard cash and a trip to the mall. I will give them a book list they can work from. One of my dc will willingly read but the other only reads what is required. I am thinking $3-$5 a book depending on the length. I have taken into consideration how long it will take my dc to read a book and worked backwards from there. I want them to earn enough to make it worth it but not go crazy. So I estimate that they could easily read a chapter book a week without giving up any other fun.

She seems really bossy. I don't have time for people like that. I've been mixed up with them before and it causes me misery and stress, so now if I sense that a new friend is going to be that way, I run! I agree, you need to break away from her and find someone else to watch your dog. It's not really the difference between the time you would be watching her dog vs. the time she would be watching your dog that would bother me. It's the way that she just makes all the rules and you have to play along. My neighbors on either side of me often watch each others' dogs, and I'm sure it isn't completely even, but they are friends. When your "friend" started getting greedy about it (I remember vaguely from your other post) then it made things awkward. Didn't she decide to charge you or something like that, making things really complicated when you threw in the kennel and some dog-watching time? I just don't play well with people like her.

What do you do? My 13yo is just not doing work that is up to par with what I expect. Yes, I make her do it over, yes it takes all flippin day, yes she knows what is expected. No, her work is not too difficult, she doesn't have a learning disability, and she has plenty of rest, exercise, and nutrition. She is behind. She takes forever to do her work. It does not matter if I sit with her or leave her to herself. She works slowly and is very messy and does NOT care about her work. Her handwriting is embarrassing. She knows how to write correctly, it just is too much work for her to write neatly. She misses questions on her math pages that she KNOWS how to do, and when I have her correct them she gets them correct. But she doesn't take the time to do it right the first time. I don't get it. She works slowly but it is not so that she can be thorough. She works slowly and yet seems to never dig into her studies and really try to understand things. I feel like I have to digest the information and tell it to her in the most basic way---she won't make the effort to do it on her own. She complains after about the first 2 hours of school. She thinks school should take a few hours and then she is free to do nothing. She is not responsible enough for me to hand her a list and tell her to get it done. We have tried, and this is what happens: I will check her work only to see that she "forgot" to do something, she will put question marks beside almost all of her story problems, even though if she would just READ them she could do them, she will say, "Oh I had a question about that so I just didn't do it" or she will turn in work that is so stinkin messy that it just angers me! It seemed to put more work on me to have her work on a list that I now work down the list along with her, and that enslaves me to school well into late afternoon and sometimes the evening. I am at my wit's end. I've been talking with my dh about options for next year. This afternoon, I realized that she didn't do a science assignment that I told her to do, and so here we are, sitting in the school room, while I supervise her so she will JUST DO IT! She had the gall to complain about having to do more schoolwork and I told her that if she didn't start taking her work seriously then she is going to school in the fall. Yes, I will have to be on her back to get her homework done, but it won't be the center of my existence! Please tell me that you have found something that works for a child like mine. I know she needs to have an enormous amount of structure, but I am so tired from trying to provide that for her. I can never let up, or have a busy day, or get off track without it completely shutting her work down.

Black Books!

I have an elderly relative that has epilepsy and has taken anti-seizure Meds for many many years. He has to go for check ups every 3 months in order to have his prescription refilled. Does anyone know if this is the norm? My dh and I were wondering if he really has to go or if the doctor is just having him come in unnecessarily. Thanks!

I actually woke up looking forward to the start of our spring break. We are going on a little trip for 3 nights and I am already dreading it. The kids have been fighting all day and whining and picking fights with me. I am regretting this trip already. I just wish I could enjoy the day getting packed and cleaning house. It's so nice to have a break from school but I am worried that they will be griping and bickering the whole time. I don't want to take them to do all of the fun things we have planned if they are going to act bratty, KWIM? I honestly wish that I could go on a trip with just my dh for once. We have been on exactly 2 overnight trips in 14 years---one night almost 10 years ago and one night 2 years ago. I'm dreading this so much, what can I do to get in the mood for this trip? It saps every single bit of my energy listening to them.

Daisy, I read your blog every week and I love it. You are an inspiration to me. I understand why you need to step back from your blog. I just (selfishly)loved reading it! At least I will "see" you here on the boards. AprilTN

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. We are involved in a once a week gathering with others, but it just hurts when I hear about the other things that people do together outside of that, and see pictures of birthday parties on FB ad nauseum. It hurts so much to always have to act interested when other people are telling you about the fun they had without you. It happens so much, and that is what is making me depressed. Not a single week goes by when I don't have to hear or see something I was left out of that I should be included in. Maybe we are just doomed to never fit in. We are different in a way from other homeschoolers in our area. We are not as conservative which I think might be a big part of it. For instance, I really can't think of another girl my 13yo's age that wears make-up. I just don't care if my dd wears make-up but I have heard negative things about "these young girls" wearing make-up. The only other thing I can think of is money. My dh makes much much more than the average salary in our area, and we only have 2 kids, and we like to give them nice things. We are not extravagant by any means but I have wondered if my girls sometimes look too polished and it has caused some jealousy. We are very down-to-earth people but maybe others don't like our socio-economic differences. I don't know if this could be part of it, but I certainly hope not. People in our area seem to be very judgemental and want to put people in categories. I have even had to quit hanging out with a group of homeschoolers before because they had all of these unspoken rules, such as no Harry Potter, no attractive clothing on children, no secular music, no sleepovers, and on and on. I felt like a poser because we were so opposite and finally I got sick of being judged and being left out that I quit hanging with them. I found a new group a few years ago but it has not been any better as far as finding meaningful relationships. I wish I could just start my own group of people that don't care so much about keeping up with what everyone else is doing and just want to experience life together. Isn't that what we tell our children when they are being petty? We tell them to just worry about you, not the other person. Ugh.

We have always struggled with acquiring and maintaining friendships. It seems like I never feel settled with a group of acquaintances enough to feel like we are a group of friends, but yet it seems like everyone else is so settled into their cliques. Countless times in our 8 years of homeschooling I have put myself and my children out there, and after some time I naively think we are becoming part of a group, only to discover that we are really just outsiders. It seems that the other people are always better friends with each other than with any of us, kids included. I am so depressed and I have come to realize that it is because of our lack of close friends. My poor dc want bff's or just ff's would be nice. We go to organized events, are cheerful and friendly, and seem to connect, but we are never part of the "after party" so to speak. When I invite people over they usually accept, but it is rare to have anything reciprocated. Facebook just makes things worse for my teen and myself. We frequently get to see pictures or posts from parties or just a group going out for dinner but we are not invited. As in never ever. I feel terrible for my kids. They are beautiful, smart, fun dc. My teen hasn't been invited to anything since.....a friend invited her over last September but then dropped her in October and quit calling, emailing, etc. My dd had a nice time but for some reason they dropped us. When my dd has her birthday party last fall she invited 10 girls, and all but one ccould come, and they seemed to have a great time, yet not one girl has reciprocated. I keep thinking if they were in school that they would be able to find a consistent group of friends. If I had known how sociallybankrupt we would feel, I would have put them in school in kindergarten. At least I think I wou,d have, if my theory is correct. Do any of you have this problem? How do you keep from getting depressed and how do you encourage yourself and your children to keep putting yourselves out there just to be disappointed?

LOL! My dd was doing her math at the very moment I was reading this thread and insisted that 100 times 100 was 1000! She argued with me and then didn't believe me until she checked it on the calculator. So I am FEELING YOUR PAIN!:crying:

nevermind