Jump to content

Menu

bethben

Members
  • Posts

    3,685
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by bethben

  1. 3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

     

    How receptive is she to the idea of a grade adjustment or super senior year?

    She’ll already be 19 when she graduates so not too receptive.  She has a late birthday for her grade and was behind developmentally due to the Chinese orphanage thing.  She could even hear well until she was 3 and got hearing aids (she doesn’t need them anymore due to several factors).

  2. 10 hours ago, PeterPan said:

    Teens are notoriously unstable, also her D could be low with winter, leading to more instability.

    Would the insurance pay for a private OT eval with someone with experience with trauma and interoception? Has she had trauma work?

    She just started OT with a place that is trauma informed and deals with kids with autism.  She needs trauma work and I’m using the OT to get her comfortable with the agency so she can get actual therapy.  
     

    I forgot about Vitamin D.  It’s sunny here in the winter so I’m not noticing the seasonal blues as much in me so I don’t think about it.

    • Like 3
  3. I’m a little scared because when she did go to public school in elementary, she came home crying daily.  And then somehow I had to get her calm enough to do homework…And teach her everything she didn’t understand…At night when I was ready to unwind.  As it is now, shes huffing and puffing around the house angry when she’s home.  But nights are ok as she works early night and comes home exhausted.  She has never had an IEP because I was essentially acting like a resource room teacher.  So she never fell behind.  I can’t anymore.  I guess I just have to talk to the school.  See what they can offer and what it takes to get those things offered.

  4. I am getting to a point where I cannot homeschool anymore due to my own mental health.  I'm not quite sure what I'm dealing with here or even know how to get help.  My daughter is adopted and has "trauma brain".  In a large classroom, she presents as having ADD due to her scanning for trouble.  In a small classroom, I'm not sure if she has trouble paying attention or chooses not to.  Right now, she goes to a co-op type program for 10th grade one day a week where she takes Biology, World History, and World literature/composition.  She is almost failing History.  Her teacher says she doesn't listen to the lectures and is always drawing.  She had to drop Algebra because the pace was going too fast and she was failing.  I have taught her math every single day even when she was in public school because she never was able to understand.  She was always placed in the slow math class.  She does OK with literature as long as she's interested in the story.  Composition is OK - She can get solid Bs.  She is currently "reading" Pride and Prejudice while listening to Adventures in Odyssey even though I've offered audio versions and also to read it to her to help with comprehension.    I have given her a worldviewcourse that she should be able to do herself as her reading ability is high, but she always forgets to do it and misses out on social activities because she hasn't finished (multiple reminders).  I want to send her to public school, but due to past history with her, she will most likely fail math at minimum, possibly other subjects.  The high schools around here are large and crowded which sets off her ADD tendencies.  How do I get help?  We did testing 5 years ago and beyond oppositional defiant disorder, she tested low intelligence, but not disabled or ADD.  

     

    I don't know what I'm needing to ask for or how to get help.  Please don't suggest tutors as I need someone several hours a day 5 days a week and at $30-$50 an hour (what has been quoted me), it's almost half of my husband's take home pay.  

    Thanks.

    • Sad 1
  5. I tried giving her what I thought were high interest/easier academic electives.  She draws constantly.  I have a friend whom she loves that is a professional muralist who tutors art.  She barely worked on her assignments throwing together something last minute.  So, the next semester, I tried a class with other students.  A little better but bare minimum effort.  She just wanted to do her own thing and not make it a class where there were expectations(her words).  I’m at a loss of anything.  
     

    We are doing keys to Algebra with some measure of success.  It seems to be about the right speed and content for the most part.  But I still sit there wondering why I’m going through emotional chaos to teach a class that ultimately doesn’t matter.   I’m a math person.  I know the reasons why algebra and some other high school math is beneficial.  I just can’t find my “why” in this case.  

  6. I just need a road map to get her through high school.  Her co-op ends her senior year as most of the kids go on to dual enrollment.  I feel like her senior year will be us trying to figure out how to get her to a good place where she can move out (her wish).  Not sure how to give credit for that since doing the traditional English, science, etc is not going to ultimately help her the most with the trajectory she is insisting upon.

  7. She is receiving no therapy.  She did in the past and refused to do anything the therapist suggested.  She has agreed to go to OT to help with organization and anger issues, but she has already told me "it won't work".  She is empowered by anger and rage.  She likes it.  The learning issue with math is most likely she's just bad at math - she has the ability, but get's flustered when she doesn't understand something and shuts down.   We have some good days and some bad.  I've found a program that is doable but when her brain isn't working, she forgets addition/subtraction math facts.  When her brain is working, she can do pretty decently.  Her trauma looks like ADD when she's in a large classroom with a more permissive teacher because she's scanning for threats constantly.  I have a friend 1000 miles away who knows how to sit in the ashes with me.  I don't have anyone close by.  

     

    • Sad 2
  8. I am reluctantly homeschooling my adopted daughter.  She is pretty typical for the chaos that children who had early childhood trauma bring.  I tried to get her a school situation that would allow her to be successful and couldn't find it as a lot of the schools around here with smaller classrooms are college prep.  That being said, I'm doing the best I can.  She has a one day a week co-op type situation that teaches Composition, history, and science.  I teach her Algebra as she had to drop that class due to the pace.  I am really wondering why I am going to such efforts.  She forgets topics easily.  What's the point?   She argues/complains constantly when I teach her.  I have learned how to be calm when verbally challenged.  I am trying hard to survive emotionally.  I can't hire a tutor because she needs help constantly and that would get so expensive.  I've calculated based on people's quotes that it would be around $200 a week so she can learn algebra so she can promptly forget it.  Honestly, what is the point?  

     

    Also, how do I get enough credits for high school?  She doesn't want other homeschool classes I try to give her.  

    • Sad 1
  9. 16 minutes ago, EKS said:

    Are you basing this on the reported grade equivalent scores?  What test is this?

    The reason I ask is that the majority of adults max out at a sixth grade math level.  

    Iowa Basics

    If I can get her comfortable with just making change at a grocery store for example, she could move up the ladder so to speak and at least be comfortable with different retail jobs in the near future.  My husband will give her very simple mental math problems and she can't do those too well either.  

  10. Part of the problem is that per standardized test scores, her math intellect is most likely working at a 6th grade math level.  The rest of her scores that don't deal with problem solving skills are at college level.  This is screaming math disability to me, and I am trying to get some testing done but it's going to be at least a couple of months for that yet.  When she was tested 3 years ago, she didn't test learning disability.

     

  11. My daughter is doing Algebra 1 with a homeschool co-op of sorts as a sophomore.  I am basically her tutor due to her needing hours of support each week.  She has completely struggled with math her whole life and this year is no exception.  She completely forgets everything she learned the previous chapter and as a result, fails her tests.  Her recent test was a 19%.  She may squeak by this semester with a C-, but I don't see her passing next semester since she did get a C- and B on early tests that were reviews of pre-algebra (that she took for two years) and that is the main reason she may squeak by.  

    My question is this.  I am thinking of just teaching her something at home.  I don't really see Algebra 1 as being useful for her life.  To get her to understand Algebra, I see it realistically taking at least another year, possibly more.  It's not enough for college I know.  There is no way I can get her through Algebra 2 by her senior year based on what I am seeing now.  So, what do I do with her for math?  My state has no real requirements.  I want to make math super practical for her life and Algebra is not super practical for her.  

    Beth

  12. 14 minutes ago, serendipitous journey said:

    May I ask: are the issues chiefly with academics right now?  She is functioning well within your family, and is behaving well at school & working well, but the problem is that she is simply not able to do the science and math work? 

    No.  She has issues with my husband and I also.  Trauma brain.  I am looking for outside help

  13. I am seeing a connection with early childhood neglect (dd was in an orphanage for two years) and learning challenges.  I don't believe my daughter learned early in her life how to regulate stress due to what I'm assuming was neglect in her orphanage.  Now, at 16, when she gets into a high stress situation, her brain does one of two things - she gets very angry (and can't think) or her thinking brain shuts down completely.  Algebra for her right now is a high stress subject.  Either pencils get thrown and she's visibly and verbally furious, or her brain completely seems to stop working.  Yesterday, in the middle of a problem, she could not remember 4-0=4.  I've helped her regulate somewhat or have told her to take breaks, go outside, etc.  

     

    Here's my question.  We need to help her get past this brain dis-regulation.  She needs to learn how to drive.  We have to somehow retrain her brain so that when she gets into a stressful driving situation, her brain doesn't just shut down while she is behind the wheel.  I think this goes beyond talk therapy.  What would help with this?

  14. I figured I would need a tutor at minimum 4-5 hours a week to get stuff off my plate entirely.  I priced it out, and even I could find someone, I'm looking at $150-$250 a week.  That's not sustainable for us at this point.  I have a friend who basically has hired someone about 3-4 hours a day every day just to get her adopted daughter through high school.  I am meeting with her biology teacher next week to figure out what she is not getting.  I'm at a loss.  I've tried helping her and helping her be more succinct in her answers, but she's still not getting great grades.  

  15. She was tested a few years ago for ADHD and learning disabilities by an independent psychologist (who I felt blamed us as parents for her trauma reactions and obviously didn't understand the adopted kid brain, but anyhoo...).  She had neither.  On standardized tests, she will test college level in English subjects and test around a 5th/6th grade level in math.  So there's definitely a "something" but not enough to classify it as a learning disability.  I may just have to plow through and graduate her at 18 (which will be before her senior year) and have her really solidify her ability to live on her own (which is her goal right now).  I did give her some credits for high school in 8th grade because the program I was using for history and english was considered high school credits.  She has the reading and writing ability - not science and math.  

  16. I’m in a smaller school district.  I called the local high school who with a wink and a nod said every child who wants to graduate can graduate.  He is basically telling the state governor and board of education to take a hike on their requirements.  It’s just a large high school (smaller town that has every other smaller town without a high school send their studentS here) and that leads to other educational issues we ran into in the past when she did go to school.  I will have to see if they can offer anything other than just enroll and go to their school.  I’ve never heard of anything of this nature.

  17. I have my dd in a co-op of sorts that gives her (10th grade), biology, algebra, world comp/lit, and world history.  I have a health/nutrition class I am having her take and an outside art class.  She is highly motivated to be in these classes.  Her learning level for science and math is just not there.  She has a lot of trouble organizing all the information and has a lot of trouble with math and always has.  I feel like I am working really hard to get her through high school.  I am emotionally not doing well as she is an adopted child who has always been a very hard child to raise.  I have been told to “just get over it”, just continue to put out the effort on my part, just adjust my attitude, etc.  I am soooo burnt out, knew it before I started this year, tried to find a school situation that would help her succeed, and struck out.  I could not find a smaller school situation that wouldn’t require her to complete upper level sciences and math in order to graduate.  With her current situation, there is a little bit of leeway because it is still a homeschool co-op so next year, she can take consumer math instead of geometry for example and physiology instead of chemistry.    I’m trying to fit a creative sporadic artistic brain into an everyone goes to college school system.  
     

    At the rate she is going, she may not be able to continue these classes as they will kick her out if she doesn’t make C or above in all her classes by the end of the semester.  I need to know how to forge a different path through a non traditional high school class situation.  I’m a little panicked since the only way I homeschooled my two sons was online classes in high school because I know I don’t care enough to require excellence.  They both started college classes by junior year.  With my dd, this will not be the case.  I’m perfectly fine with that academically, but I don’t want to homeschool high school and have no idea how to even go about creating “not going to college” high school credits.  Trade schools around here focus on culinary, beauty, or construction.  She is not at all interested.  
     

    I feel so overwhelmed.  About ready to cry.
     

     

    • Sad 3
  18. On 9/18/2023 at 7:00 PM, ScoutTN said:

    Parental control software is not free. We have used Norton Family and Qustodio and Bark for various situations over the years. They have done what we needed to do - limit access much like you have described. 

    Do any of these allow the child to disable the app without the parent knowing it?

     

  19. On 9/18/2023 at 6:09 PM, Rosie_0801 said:

    Is this inconveniencing you or just irritating?

    I'm pretty sure everyone does this when they're bored or need to make a bit of room in their head. Before hand held tech was invented, we stared out the window or fidgeted around dropping our pencils.

    She's not focused at all.  It's like a small child having a comic book next to the book they're supposed to be reading for school and reading a paragraph in the book, then 10 minutes in the comic book.  Then mom comes in and tells them to read their book for school and the cycle starts all over again.  For my sanity, she needs to work in her room, but won't be able to until I can content manage her computer without "me" having to be the content manager.  Homeschooling is something I REALLY don't want to do but feel like I have no good options available. 

  20. I have a high schooler that needs internet blocking where she can only access certain sites.  She is highly distracted and while we have the computer in the kitchen where I can always see what she’s doing, she still flips to other sites she knows she’s not supposed to look at while she’s supposed to be doing school.  Then an argument ensues.  I can’t do this anymore.  I went to best buy to ask advice and their solution was windows 365 which is $100 a year and gives me all sorts of things I don’t need.  I just need to focus her.  I can do screen time on the iPad, but it’s a little annoying to use due to screen size.  The Mac she’s using has a feature like this, but constantly has pop up windows asking for permission to load phantom websites running in the back ground.  
     

    Thanks!

    Beth who hates hates homeschooling but couldn’t find a smaller public school or private school that would work with a child with lower than average math comprehension (I tried really hard).

  21. I am looking into American Sign Language for my upcoming 10th grader.  I would like her to try this as a foreign language with the thought that if she likes it well enough, she could try some entry level community classes and possibly have it as a career.  If she doesn't even remotely like it, at least she will have done some sort of "foreign" language if she ever does go to college.  What programs work for a student who is fairly unmotivated to work for "mommy" classes whose mother is also fairly unmotivated (in case you're wondering, she does take her 4 main classes through a co-op type thing - I just have to provide electives --- and yes, I have tried to find a public school that could work with her issues and have failed---let's just say Colorado has made it very difficult for poor math students (even with known disabilities) to graduate public/private high school without a lot of hoops to jump through).

  22. Thought about it---I have one, but I don't like all the recipes in it.  I also need something simple to start.  For example, what does mince mean?  What does julienne mean?  All those terms that she doesn't know - she's easily frustrated which we've worked through to a point.  I'm wanting to be a little more hands off in some ways.  Basically, she needs this, and I just don't want to have to teach every recipe in detail.  Her high school program is VERY practical since I'm looking at a kid who just needs to know how to work well and survive on her own without relying on frozen mac n cheese.

×
×
  • Create New...