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SproutMamaK

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Everything posted by SproutMamaK

  1. I'm thinking "in the family way", but I'm not sure if that's quite the right time period.
  2. I went young (skipped a year) and LOVED it. Most of my friends were a year older than me to begin with, and I appreciated being able to stay with him. As far as drive goes, this MAY be a good thing for him. If he's not driven now and he needs to find a new place for himself in a new school, it may push him to do well for social reasons. Not to sound trivial, but no one wants to be the kid in class that just doesn't get it. It doesn't sound like he would be "that kid" - but the desire to NOT get that "label" may push him a little more. That being said, if you don't think he's ready - don't do it. I just wanted to throw in another perspective.
  3. I just wanted to say that I don't think you're a horrible parent at all! I really hope you didn't get that idea. :( I think you're the opposite - you're trying to be both a good mother AND a good father, and on top of that there's a lot of hurts that need to be healed. I think it's extraordinary that you're trying so hard. I just pray that your DH opens his eyes. Is there any chance that you can tell him you want to go to counselling for yourself, to help you learn how to deal with your daughter, father, and your relationship better? They may be able to teach you some tools that will help everyone in your home.
  4. I'm going to fourth (fifth?) the road trip idea. Grab one of your friends - the ones that feel, like you, that they want to DO something, but don't know what. Go explore, and do it was someone who shares the same values as you do. If you live in the prairies, go to the ocean! If you live by the ocean, go see some mountains! Or see ALL of it. Take a month or so this summer and tour the country. And on the weekends - going out with your friends doesn't mean you need to drink or do drugs. Go skating or tubing in the winter. Play sports, hike, bike, or go to a beach in the summer. Do something corny and tourist-y at some of the towns around you, and don't be afraid to drive an hour or two.
  5. Honestly - counselling is definitely in order, but necessarily for your DD first and foremost. You say there are big problems in the relationship between her and your Dh, and NEITHER of them change? She's 11, that makes sense for her. But for your husband to knowingly and intentionally keep behaving in a way that continues to harm your DD honestly boggles my mind. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but your daughter isn't the problem here - she's just the most obvious "symptom" of a bigger family issue, including a stepfather who doesn't seem to want to work hard enough for her happiness (and after what she's been through with him, he's going to have to work REALLY hard to fix that relationship), a grandfather who spoils her and marginalizes the work her parents are doing, likely at this stage in her life wondering how her life would be different if her "real" father were still alive to take care of her (she probably has a lot in common with the "how I feel about adoption" thread).... there's a LOT going on here. No judgment here - I've been in both her shoes and yours (though with differing "symptoms" since my kids are younger). But you can't "fix" just your daughter, because she's not the root of the problem. As the core family unit, you and your DH need to go to counseling and address these issues together. And THEN, once your daughter sees that you guys go to counseling and don't grow horns :tongue_smilie:, she may be more willing to see someone herself. Again, I hope this doesn't sound too harsh - I know how stressed out and beaten down this must have you feeling. I just want to encourage you to see that she's not a problem child - she's a child in a troubled situation, and she's the only one in that situation who's not mature enough to "mask" the problem, so it shows through in her. I was in a similar position, and ir hurt a LOT to put away enough of my pride to see that my kids weren't the issue - the somewhat dysfunctional relationships my DH and I had between him and myself, our kids, our parents, and our church were. When we got the straight, the kids followed.
  6. I'm looking at implementing this next year. It seems that I'll likely do my prep for the next week on Saturday nights. Can I ask how you prep for a week ahead? I mean, you can't have a week's worth of boxes set aside. Do you put the assignment for the upcoming week in a binder with dividers between the "days", and then just throw them in before school starts each day? I'm the sort of person who does a big chunk of work at a time, so if I can prep things once a month instead of once a week, I'd do that, too. (Yeah, I know it's not gonna happen, but whenever I CAN work ahead, I do. Because if I don't do it when I have the energy, I cant be bothered later. :glare:)
  7. My church is hosting a womens' retreat in the spring. There will likely be about 80 women. Along with another woman, I'm responsible for setting up some icebreakers for the first evening. I have No. Clue. what to do with this. Does anyone have any ideas, things that have gone over well or that you enjoyed in the past?
  8. I'm only, oh, two years late to this thread. I'm in Kitchener, Ontario.
  9. ITA with the others. It sounds like me when I'm distracted by some BIG thing (like right now, debating between homeschooling and private school, lol). Little things fall between the cracks when something big is on your mind. If there were no symptoms of them being tired (almost every physical condition I can think of that would explain this behaviour is usually accompanied by exhaustion), I'd assume there was something going on behind the scenes. Unless the person had previous problems with addiction. Then I might (unfairly) jump to another conclusion first.
  10. If you could have - do you think it would have been beneficial to have started homeschooling your kids in Grade one as opposed to grade 2/3/4? Or was that time in the early years at school invaluable for their social needs?
  11. For me it woudl depend who's going in the bedrooms. We tried hardwood in our boy's bedroom once. Our boys are, shall we say, excitable. And apparently, hardwood = echo. In a small enclosed space... that was a BAD idea. They now have carpet for sound-dampening. Plus, their furniture moved around a lot thanks to their style of playing (see how diplomatically I worded that?), so they floors got scratched. For a small kid's room, I'd go with carpet. For a teen or adult, I'd do hardwood.
  12. What kind of training has she had? We've gone through about10 behavioural therapists with our boys over the past 4 years. (We usually have about 3 or 4 going at a time). However, ALL of them have been supervised. We've always had a "supervisory therapist" who sees the boys at regular intervals and directs their therapy programs. Then the "instructor therapist" is told what programs to do with them and (if needed), given training on how to work them. Because of that, the experience of the instructor therapist isn't as much as an issue - they don't need to decide what to do, they just need to do it, and they gain the experience as they go. It's saved us a great deal of money, since we only have to pay the rates of the HUGELY experiences/qualified therapist for the amount of time it takes her to decide where the boys stand and what should come next, and a less experienced (and therefore cheaper) therapist can carry out the actual work. Might there be a program/organization like that in your area? Do you mind if I ask what the rates are for the less experienced therapists vs. the experienced one? Our "supervisor" therapist charges $90/hour (ouch!) but the ones who really work one on one with the boys are usually about $17 or so. Be that as it may, we've still had a few therapists that just didn't work out, but that was more for personality issues. My boys need someone who's high-energy and who can be excited about being with them - we've had some therapists who tried to treat the boys like miniature clients, and that just didn't work out for anyone. Nontheless, we gave them about 4 or 5 sessions each to see if they would change once they got more comfortable/warmed up to the kids.
  13. I don't know, I think this guy qualifies. http://tinyurl.com/deathbypants
  14. I've always thought it was Foe- KNEE-See-Uh, but now that I think about it I suppose Foe-KNEE-Shuh is probably more accurate. Foy? Really? Maybe in Jersey. :tongue_smilie: (Just kidding, all you Jersey-ites!)
  15. None of the above. You missed Test 42 which is, as everyone knows, the answer to ALL the questions of the universe. But thanks anyways, for letting me test my new signature on your poll!
  16. I can completely picture that! :D The boys are generally pretty good with table time - their therapy has gotten them used to it. But they're currently at teeny tiny little IKEA tables that they're about to outgrow anyways 0 thank goodness, because I'd have needed an excuse not to sit at them. :tongue_smilie:But if I shorten the table, where would I get shorter chairs to match that I could still sit on comfortably?
  17. Yup, Levi's in kindergarten next year! He's already in JK at school this year for two days a week. Not that he needs it - between his autism & hyperlexia, he's been reading since before he was 3 and he's already doing Grade 1 math with Gabe. CRAZINESS. We sent him to school mainly for him to pick up social skills. I'm a little nervous to pull him out since it really has done him a lot of good. And just think - Sailor's next! :tongue_smilie: Do you have any problems with the Pais not having her feet flat on the ground at that table? I think I'll probably get a wood kitchen/dining table and cut the legs a bit shorter. But at the rate Gabe is growing (he's about the size of an 8 yo right now), I don't want to have to buy another table in a tear or two to make room! Although in the grand scheme of things, the cost of a new table is negligible, I suppose.
  18. Can you give me some ideas as to what the "right" social interactions have been for him? Obviously they'll be different for each child, but it might give me some good ideas.
  19. Thanks for the suggestions! I'm going to try to get at least 3 activities with other kids a week, and some social skills (peer-involved) ABA therapy once or twice as well. I'm starting to worry a little less about the social aspect. I'm not sure how much he's really "getting" in school anyways - there's so many other kids that he doesn't get active encouragement to socialize there anyway. The teacher and EA only really worry about him when they need to deal with problematic behaviour, they don't have the time to encourage positive interactions, just correct negative ones.
  20. I'm a fan of old movies, too. Our kid's movie collection consists largely of Haley Mills and Julie Andrews. There are some good new movies, but you have to wade through them. And that sounds like work. ;)
  21. Do any of you find any problem with sharing a table? Should I be trying to set up separate workspaces for each child, or do most of you think it's better to have one large table that everyone works at? I know obviously that's dependent on the children - I'm just trying to feel things out. It's a small space, so I don't have the option of having both two or three individual workspaces AND a large table. Thanks for the suggestion on the bookcases! Do you guys tend to mix your "school" books and "fun" books together? Crystal, just saw your post. That's not a bad idea! Our kitchen and dining room are both a little too cramped for us to stay around there for long (it's fine for sitting during dinner, but continuously scooching around the table to help out kids with different things would get obnoxious FAST), but it would be nice to start the day together like that. maybe for Bible class and devotions. Wow, it will be SO nice to have both the time and a prepared plan for doing Bible studies with my kids at the start of each day!
  22. Have you seen The Power of One? It's my personal fave, and about 15 years old.
  23. Hi all! I'm new to home schooling - by which I mean, I haven't even started yet. ;) We'll be starting both our kids (who will then be in Grade 1 and kindergarten, both with autism) in September. Maybe earlier, so I can ease myself into this slowly. We're renovating our house right now, and happen to have a spare room. It was GOING to be a spare bedroom, but now it looks like it'll be our homeschooling room. It's 12'8 and has a 3x3 closet. So... what furniture do I need? We're looking at using the workbox system (it seems like it would help keep the boys on task), so we'll need to have SOMETHING to put the boxes on. However, the smaller carts most people I know use with this would get toppled in about .3 seconds by my 2 year old. I was thinking of maybe something like this, with fabric bins? http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/40047675 . What other organizational & storage needs will I have? Should I set things up so the boys are working close to each other and I can easily work with both at the same time, or should I move them to opposite corners so they don't distract each other? Questions, questions... Anyways, I have no idea how much room I'll need, what's a good idea and a bad idea as far as set-up, etc goes. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or even photos to share? For the record, I know that I have a LONG time to worry about all this, but we have a small grant that can be used for therapy/educational supplies for the boys that runs out in a few weeks time, which is why I'm asking this so far ahead of time - if I need to make any major purchases, I'd prefer to do it with this grant money.
  24. Hi all, I'm new here, and new to the whole realm of homeschooling. My name is Kathryn, and I have 3 kids. Gabriel is 5 and currently in full day SK 3 days a week (MWF) at a private Christian school. Levi is 4 and currently in JK at the same school (on Tuesdays & Thursdays). Judah is about to turn 2 and is at home with me, much to his chagrin - he'd far prefer to go do something "fun" with his brothers every day. Gabriel and Levi both have autism (Judah, the toddler, shows no signs). Gabriel is moderate to severe, though he has improved greatly since that diagnosis was made, while Levi is barely on the spectrum. Both have received extensive ABA therapy for years and are doing very well. They're currently in a mainstream classroom at their school and are working at well above their grade levels. They LOVE to socialize with other children, but are of course very awkward while doing so, and I've seen a lot of things that lead me to believe bullying is pretty much inevitable for them. I can honestly say that I NEVER thought I would find myself homeschooling. Ever. Not that I have a problem with it, but I could never picture myself in that role. Which of course means that I have no idea what I'm doing. We've been trying to wade through the boy's schedules for next year, and it's simply not feasible if they go to school. Not only is it not feasible, it's not even possible. Once Gabriel goes into Grade one, he'll be in school five days a week - we'll be rushing out the door to drop him off at school on time. We'll leave by 8, have a rush-hour, tense drive to school, and then say goodbye to him (and 3 days a week, my middle son as well) until 3:15 when we pick him up. I'd have half an hour with him the car when he's so tired he barely responds, then get home and have him in ABA/IBI therapy for a three hour session. Which means we'd have family dinner at 7 instead of our usual 5:30, and bedtime is 7:30. So we have half an hour to eat, talk about their day, do devotions, do any homework they have, help tutor them through things they didn't understand in school, etc. The behavioural therapy we have in the afternoons has been such a blessing for them and obviously works wonders for them, so I don't feel comfortable putting that aside when they're still so young. Which leads to the obvious conclusion that God wants me to spend more than 30 minutes a day with my children. Since there seems to be no other way to make that possible... homeschooling it is. We'll do school from 9 until lunch time, and possibly a bit after lunch, and then have ABA in the afternoons. And now that I've accepted it, I THINK I'm starting to get excited about the idea. More time with my kids, more control over their education, lesson plans tailored to their learning styles and abilities, the chance to organize their social interactions and work with them on them social skills, really having the time to systemically teach them bible stories and doctrine, etc. Not to mention that the $1000/month we would otherwise be paying for private school could be channeled into ABA therapy, for which our funding is about to cut off (the boys are "aging out" of our provincially funded system). Everything about it is ideal. It's just... a lot of work. And it's extremely overwhelming, since I've spent my whole life looking at homeschooling Moms and saying, "I could NEVER do that. How do they stay sane?!" Right now, our largest concern with homeschooling (aside from my sanity, that is) is the fact that they truly do enjoy the social interaction they get at school, and they've learned a LOT from it. In order for them to ebtter their social skills, the boys need to practice them, and the more the better. Our local homeschool group doesn't really have anything applicable to meet those needs. They have sports classes, etc, but nothing that would imitate a classroom environment for one or two mornings a week. A number of families in our church homeschool, and I'm considering asking them if they would participate in such an activity if I were to organize and lead it. It would likely include things like circle time, show & tell, calendar, centers, snacktime & recess, storytime, crafts, etc. However, I hate to ask other already-busy Moms to "lend" me their young children as a favour. Has anyone done anything like this, and do you have any suggestions? Curriculum is another overwhelming area - WOW, is there ever a lot to wade through! I was hoping to get some suggestions to help me narrow down what might work for them, using your experiences - to see if any of their personality and learning traits sound familiar to any of you, and what curriculum worked for children who have similar personalities & learning styles. Gabriel is a strong reader (he's at about a 2nd to 3rd grade reading level right now and he's 5), Levi (4) is reading but needs direction. He recognizes a LOT of words, but that's largely because of rote memorization, not phonetic understanding. If there's a new word, he'll just sub in the word he knows that "looks" the most similar to it, rather than bothering to sound it out. As far as math, they're both extremely logical but, like most kids with autism, need a concept to be repeated to them a LOT for it to sink in. Once it does sink in, though - it sticks for good. Neither one is very good at rote memorization of facts and information (aside from literacy), which I worry may present a problem for subjects like history and geography. As far as Bible stories, both boys tend to stop following the plot of them about halfway through. We've tried breaking the stories up into 2 or 3 smaller stories, but then the story doesn't resolve itself by the end and the boys are left uninterested and wondering what the point was. Neither one of them are creative, in ANY way, but they do love the pride that comes from having made something tangible, even if it's not original. Gabriel loves deskwork and figuring things out on paper. Levi also loves it when he does it for a while, but loses interest after a few minutes and wants to get up and do something more hands-on. Phew, that was a LONG post. After all that - does anyone have any advice or suggestions for me? Thank you!
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