Oh yes, I forgot to mention. While we were at the hearing he mention he would be willing to reduce the rent if we went on assistance. I think I am wrung out at this point. I still don't see how he gets away with things but I get called to the carpet. I can't rebut everyone's comments. I am to mentally and emotionally tired at this point. Like I said before, if I had taken him to court..... instead of trying to get a reduction on my own... this could have been avoided. I talked to a lawyer then and I had a case. I was trying to keep it OUT of the court system. The repairs weren't things like a broken cupboard handle. We only have half the heat working. He knows this.. he admitted it in court today. The roof by the fireplace has mold and is dry rotted. He knows this too. There is more but as one other said... (paraphrasing) it must not be that bad if we are living here. I need sleep. When I am this tired mole hills are mountains and everything is bleak. At this point I don't see what we can do. We just have to wait and see what the LL wants.

I do actually. He had me write a list of things wrong to give to him. I also mailed it. It is also in the lease that he is to fix things that need repairing. Just like I am supposed to pay rent he is supposed to fix things. It is in the laws as well. Again, I wasn't "willfully" just not paying rent! I thought I had successfully re-negotiated the terms! Everyone seems to gloss that over as well. I wasn't saying .. Oh he just doesn't need this money, I am just not going to pay him. It was a reduction in rent for "damaged goods". Yes, I paid a lesser rent. I asked him for it. He didn't say anything about getting less. How can taking it for over a year then filing for eviction be "right" after that long? He could have waited YEARS! How do you hold the LL to their part of the contract?

I have been hearing time and time again that I need to adhere to my contract.. my agreement with the LL. However what about him? He DID NOT hold up to his side. He gets off free as a bird and doesn't do repairs or takes months to do one thing and I can't TRY to re-negotiate my terms? What is so wrong with that? How was I supposed to know he didn't like it if he wasn't willing to communicate with me? When does he get "in trouble" because he wasn't doing what he was supposed to? He signed the same contract. He was supposed to do things and he didn't. But I am the bad guy. I don't get it. Sure I may have gone about it the wrong way but I *tried* communicating with him. I TRIED. HE was the one that did NOTHING for FIFTEEN months! YES, I didn't pay ONE month. Had I caught it myself or he told me it would have been rectified immediately. We had the money at the time. NOW we don't. He is suing to evict us BECAUSE he needs money. He told the judge himself. He needs to pay his taxes. Again, he told the judge himself. I just don't see how ALL the blame can be laid SOLELY at my feet. A contract is a two way street! And for those asking the continuance was so we could work it out ourselves. The LL told the judge he didn't have time to meet with us before the hearing so the judge gave 30 days.

If we move BEFORE the court date we done get an eviction on record? I say the "Amount he wants" because it is the amount he wants. It may be what I owe but it is still the amount he wants and we just don't have it. It is in his power to lower the amount. Up to him though. The ball is in his court at the moment. As an aside, I found out in the state of NC he could have accepted my lesser rent for an infinite amount of time and then decided to evict and sue me for ALL that back rent. I guess I am glad it was only just over a year. He even admitted he hadn't contacted us in over a year AND that there are repairs that need to be done. Didn't matter. It probably didn't for that moment in time, it still stings that he could admit it though without nary an eyebrow raised by the judge. We are going to see what he says. IF he is amicable then we should be able to work something out. By amicable I mean an actual agreement (In writing!!) between us and him. We shall see what he says and what he would accept. Thanks for the well wishers out there. It is much appreciated not to be told what I should have done. I realize now what I should have done. Hind sight is always 20/20. Had *I* taken *HIM* to court initially this would have been avoided. I was going to take him to court (to get a lesser rent) but I didn't because I don't think everything needs to be litigious. I now know differently. My intentions were NOT to stiff him on rent. In NC you CAN take the LL to court for a lesser rent if they aren't holding up their end. I could go round and round about this but it doesn't change the fact that I did things the wrong way and it bit me in the rear.

I put this in my original post but here is the update... 03/26/2015 Update! Went to court and was issued a continuance. I still think the LL will evict. He agreed with the continuance only after the judge asked twice. We can't pay him the amount he wants. We shall see what happens!

I would agree, expect this is the exception not the rule for us. I don't do this kind of thing. Ever. There was a period when we had more money than I thought we should. since I thought I already paid the bills I thought we had just bought less. We have been trying to save money and buying less. It is a flimsy excuse at best but I just wasn't paying attention. December into January is very busy for us and I just over looked it. If I had just heard one peep from the LL about it I would have cut a check immediately. We didn't so I didn't think anything was amiss. I know it isn't his responsibility to tell me to pay rent.. I am NOT laying THAT at his feet. What ticks me off was the waiting for 15 months before deciding to tell us he didn't agree with a lesser rent AND suing us for rent that we told him was coming and we had proof. THAT makes me mad.

Thanks ladies. I have looked at them in and out. I am with TechWife, I'm screwed. I will loose the case. I did things the wrong way to begin with so I have to love with my lumps but it's sad that a slum lord (you should see the house we rent) can get away with this when he wasn't fixing what needed to be. It sucks that he can wait 15 months and let us rack up an insurmountable amount of money (that we can't pay) and then plop an eviction on us. It sucks that he can put a family of 5 out on the street (so to speak) with nary a twinge. The laws in NC protect the LL not the tenant. For instance. The LL needs to give a demand for rent due 10 days before he files for eviction. He never did. Like I said, we hadn't heard from him since last January. Oh good! I'll win the case you say. Uh-uh... nope, wrong answer. I still lose because he doesn't have to prove I got said notice. He just has to say he mailed it. Not his fault if the post office looses it. Doesn't matter that he lives 5 minutes away. If he isn't fixing things.. to bad... keep paying rent and you have to take him to court and spend money taking him to court to get a dead beat LL to do anything. I guess this is a high priced lesson learned. Never again will I do anything without the court involved. I will not do anything without having it in writing either. Again it sucks. Things like this totally screw things up for the good guys. Do you know my husband and I have been renting since 1996? Almost 20 years we have been renting. Do you know I have only been late (that I can recall mind you) 4 times in 20 years? The rental we had before this we were in for 9 years. I was late once. The LL didn't even charge me a late fee because he knew I wasn't usually late. Now we are going to have an eviction on out record with makes us look bad and it was all over ONE wrong choice and ONE mistake in 20 years. I makes me mad and makes me want to cry at the same time that someone like our landlord, who is a three time felon to boot, can totally screw us like this. How's that for justice? I KNOW I made a mistake but the consequences just seem to outweigh the "crime" here. Sorry, just in the throes of despair.

We contacted him asking him NOT to evict us. DH talked to him about it. We were supposed to meet him to talk it all over to see waht could be done. But... He won't call us back or text us. So we have no choice but to go to court.

03/26/2015 Update! Went to court and was issued a continuance. I still think the LL will evict. He agreed with the continuance only after the judge asked twice. We can't pay him the amount he wants. We shall see what happens! Yes, I am being evicted. Partly... maybe mostly my fault but I lay some of the blame at the landlords feet. One, I missed rent in January. No, don't ask how. I have no clue how I missed it and completely forgot about it. The landlord never called to ask why I didn't pay. Two, in January of 2014 I sent him a letter (certified mail) asking to renegotiate the rent. There were several repairs that needed to be done that he wasn't doing. We had been here 5 months already. So I sent it and didn't hear back. Sent the rent for the negotiated amount and he cashed the check for February. Same for March and so on. We never heard from him. Not for anything. IF he has conteacted us and said thanks but no thanks I would have taken him to court at that point. I should have, yes I know that now, but I was trying to be nice and keep it out of court. Silly me. Fast forward to last week. He comes by, unannounced (we had asked for 24 hours notice). I didn't answer the door. Bad form. Yes, I realize that but he totally surprised me and I was still in my jammies. We assumed it was because rent was late.... my pay period changed so rent was late... to we text him soon after he left and let him know it was sent and should be there. I had the bank proof if needed. I pay through bill pay. We heard nothing else from him. Fast forward two days later. at NINE at night. Not happy about that but what can I do. We get a summary ejectment. He is evicting us saying we owe him back rent of $4300 dollars. That is including rent for the month I missed (that I didn't even realize until after he had us served), the rent that was late and the difference of what I was paying from the original amount that I thought had been fine... since he was cashing the checks and all. So DH calls to talk to him the day after we are served to talk. He says he doesn't want to kick us out, he needs the money and owes a bunch of money in taxes yadda, yadda. He says he wants to meet with us to discuss (this is Friday). Says he has a doctor appt and will come by later or possibly Monday. Later comes and goes with nothing. We call, we text. Nada. The girlfriend calls and says he will come by Saturday. We tell her OK but after 6pm because I won't be home or Sunday is good too. She says she'll tell him. Sat and Sun pass with nary a peep. Monday passes. Nothing again. So here we are two days from court and he hasn't contacted us once. We even text him again (I like having the paper trail) asking to meet today. That was at 9:30am and still nothing from him. I don't know what to do at this point. I called legal aid and they are supposed to be contacting me but it is really getting down to the wire. I don't know what I need to bring, other than everything I have. I don't know if I should or how to bring up the repairs and that is why I sent the letter. Do I bring the numerous images I took? Do I need to print them or can I bring my laptop or just on my phone? Since he cashed the checks I was sending is that considered a non-verbal agreement? I just don't know. I am at a complete loss on how to present myself. I know we screwed up in paying. We are ONE month behind. Why wait FIFTEEN months to bring this on? Why didn't he say something right away? Does he REALLY think he is going to get $4300 out of us? He knows how much money we make. He knows we can't pay that. I don't understand what the end game is. Was this his idea of a savings plan? Wasn't a very good one. Anyway.. I don't know what I need other than prayers and whiskey. Or tequila. Margaritas sound good.

We bought a fixer upper RV. We have been slowly fixing it up over the last month or so. We are not done. There was some delamination on one side that we need to fix. Little background... We live in a rental and where this rental is situated on the property be can't drive up to the actual house. The property is kind of wedge shaped and the garage is at the point and the house at the back. The garage is over 100 feet from the house. The drive way has a "bump" to get over. It's like an uneven shoulder but higher. Needles to say we can't get the RV up the drive way because the back of it scrapes the ground and if we go to far the black water line will beak. So we have it parked on the road above our house. Our house is butted up against a hill that was carved out to fit the house and a road goes along the top of it. I don't know if you can visualize it but that is what it is. The RV was parked on the right hand side of the road, there is plenty of room there while we did a few things. Well yesterday, since it was FINALLY, nice enough to get some stuff done we decided to tackle the delamination. If you haven't ever done it this takes much glue, sweat, a few cuss words (that is mandatory I think) and as important as the glue... bracing. We have to push the side of the RV in to set the glue. We took the RV and parked it on the left side of the road as close as we could get to the hill and are using the hill as a brace. The is plenty of room on the right hand side to get around. Oh, let me say that there is only ONE house past us. They have been building a house for the last year. Back tot he RV, once the glue is in it needs to be braced until the glue is set. This can take a few hours. The people that live up the hill are now asking us to move our RV because the construction crew needs to bring stuff up. They were able to get by just fine yesterday. We still have delamination to deal with today. It is going to rain tomorrow. We have the window out of the RV. Rain int he RV will be bad. Very bad. That is why there was delamination in the first place. Water was getting in from around the window. I told this to the construction guy yesterday. We can't move it until the delamination is done. I saw the rig with construction materials and a fork lift get past the RV just fine. It just isn't a straight shot. The TWO days we want to do this and they want to bring up a bunch of stuff. It's been a few weeks since they have brought anything up. Now I have this pressure on me to get the RV moved and we still have work to do. I guess I just don't feel like I need to move it if they can get around it. Bah... now I don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.

Does your monitor have a HDMI slot?

I believe I had one last night. Before you tell me I probably should see the doc.. yes, I am going to the doc. However I'd like to know if anyone has experience with this? What, exactly, does a thunderclap headache mean? It was excruciating! It felt like my head wanted to split, literally. I get migraines and this was worse. Not by a whole lot but certainly worse on the pain scale.

I have a Vitamix. I like my Vitamix. I would, however, like something smaller. The only thing I really use it for is smoothies, shakes and making crumbs. I know it can do so much more and I have used it for a lot more in the past. Just not now. Any suggestions?

My parents didn't wrap the "big" Santa present. They would wrap little ones in the stocking and such. We do wrap the big Santa present unless they are to big to wrap. For example, we gave the kids bean bag chairs with the Santa present one year. We didn't wrap the bean bag chairs lol. We did wrap the rest. Stockings always come first. The kids wouldn't have it any other way.

Is there anyone that has attended a huge craft fair as a vendor to sell their wares? If so, I need to pepper you with some questions! Please?

I am at my wits end. Every single time I want to teach my 6yo to read he bucks the system. Just this morning I told him we needed to either do a reading lesson in the book or he can play reading games. He didn't want to do either. He is almost 6 and a half. I despair of him not learning at all. I know I shouldn't compare but both my older kids were reading by 5. Any suggestions? Or encouragement? I don't like being frustrated with him. I know that doesn't help him.

This is my nephew. His mom has been asking if I know what it is. I told her I would ask you all. She wasn't satisfied with what the doctor said. :)

My daughter just tripped on her shoe laces and fell. She now has tenderness around her knee cap. She can walk with a pretty good limp. It is swelling a little. Emergency room or no?

Thank you so much for the blunt (Sahamamama :)) and the encouraging (Farrar & Coco) words. Just to address a few things though. :) It isn't the whole picture and I was feeling particularly down. Again, I get tired in the evenings and make mountains out of mole hills. First... to Jen 500 and Reef... why didn't I think of a library with A/C. My Lord that would help 1000 percent. That alone had the angels singing. Jeez. To others who think my son is way behind. He is and to a degree (a small one before you blast me!) on purpose. I found he was learning better if I waited a bit. I can say this last year has been especially bad. Not just schooling but with life and things slid back even further. He isn't quite as bad as I make him out to be but he is certainly behind as compared to ps kids in the same grade. In my defense math and grammar (If you can be behind in grammar?) is the only subjects he is behind in. In other subjects we cover he is on target. You guys have pointed out to me what I need to do. I felt like life was just spinning out of control but I was helpless to do anything about it. I realize I was looking at it wrong. I am the one in control and need to stay that way. I don't want to school to be an option so I have to pull up my socks and get the work done. I can do that. I have to. Sometimes I just need a little encouragement (or bluntness :))just a little nudge to help me along the way. :grouphug:

Conventional schooling just isn't working. We aren't disciplined enough. I get distracted, the kids get distracted. I have lots of work to do (work that is our income). Even if we were disciplined the kids are bored with the school work I have. The groan whenever I say it is time to do school work. I know I am going to keep math and spelling. I am going to do a few more hands on things. The problem lies in what to do. I want to foster the learning. I want them to say I want to learn this and/or that and then learn it. How do I do that? I feel like I am sucking the fun of learning out of my two youngest. My oldest is old enough (and ambitious enough) to do it on her own. She learns just because she likes to. Do I gather in a circle every day? I have tried letting them learn what they want to but the quickly, like within a day, get bored. All my 12yo wants to do is play a game online. Something with tanks. I know there are people that will say he can learn from that but he can barely multiply and knows nothing of division. Some of that is my fault some of it is just avoiding it because he balks when I even think math. I have a very hard time keeping up with everything. I have tried schedule after schedule after schedule. Nothing works. No one in the house, but me, wants to do it. I am a left brained person in a house full of right brained people. I don't function that way. I need and want a schedule. I also don't have the energy to constantly battle with them over it. For instance, I told ds12 to sweep the kitchen. Twice. He grabs the broom and get distracted by his brother. I remind him again, he gets distracted by a bug and takes it outside so it doesn't die. Then stays outside and is now playing with his brother. Before you say ADD or whatever don't go there. If he can sit and play a game for hours he can sweep the flippin' kitchen. Another issue we have is heat. My Lord above it has been hot. I get hot easily. We have no A/C. I do not feel like battling school work in the heat of the day. By the time it cools I am tired and don't have the mental energy to battle school work. In the mornings I work. If I don't work in the mornings I won't get my hours in. I know myself enough that I won't work in the evenings. I am just to tired and just don't care by then. I have started exercising, which is supposed to be good for me but it kinda adding to the stress. I joined a gym and swim. I like the swimming, love the swimming. I hate the time it takes to go to the gym, swim, then come home. It is about 90 minutes. That is a lot of time 4 days a week out of my schedule. Something has to give. I have to work 20 hours a week. I need to school the kids. That takes roughly 15 hours a week. Plus everything else I try to do. I am worn thin and don't know what to do. On top of that the hubs is constantly talking of moving. Always the talk of moving and "have you looked at rentals today?" and "If we are still here" whenever I want to do something that is a commitment. I have been hearing this for at least 6 years. That is a whole different can of worms though. Ugh. I just needed to vent I guess.

Great combo eh? :) I have seen this Jamberry stuff in a few places. Anyone had experience with it? Does it last? I have started swimming for exercise. Will it hold up in the water? Swimsuit. I need one for actual swimming, not just trying to look pretty on the beach. :) I would like it to be under $50 and plusish sized. Suggestions?

Physical and Biology. She still needs Chemistry and Physics. I looked into the ML science. I am thoroughly confused. What books exactly do I need? I do not want online or computer materials. Dd does much better with regular books. do I need the TM with ML?

I am looking for science in general. I know Apologia is supposed to be good but honestly the whole "well it can't be this way because we know God made everything" is annoying. I want to get away from it. Even my dd doesn't like the it. The author disparages any different thinking at every corner. You can believe in evolution and believe in God at the same time. If God made everything then He can make it whatever way he wants and however he wants. I digress. Sorry. I know plenty don't agree and it isn't my intention to make them mad but for us it is just to confining to have to think only one way. I am not looking specifically for Biology but I will check out the Miller-Levine. I also would like something for Chemistry and Physics. :) I don't want much do I?

My daughter is blowing through Apologia. She is reading the Biology now. She reads it, answers the questions and retains it. I don't think it is challenging enough for her. She will be done with the whole book in about 2 weeks or so. I need something more. I'd also like something that doesn't bash other ways of thinking. Apologia is bad about that. I don't care if the author thinks evolution is a load of bunk. We just want the scientific explanations for things. We can decide for ourselves if we want to believe in evolution or creation. Any suggestions?