Do you have a favorite brand of collagen? Thanks! Amy

Thank you so much, everyone--I can't believe what a relief it is to hear your suggestions and solutions! Apparently this is one of those unresolved issues that was a background stressor in my life, and I'm ridiculously happy to have practical ways to approach it. Also, dd11 was not on board for trying something new until I showed her how fast I can type without looking at the screen or the keyboard. She was blown away by this superpower and, as a writer, wants the same for herself. Now I'm thinking I need to send all my unresolved issues to the Hive for speedy and practical resolution :) Amy

Brilliant--I had no idea! If anyone knows of a program that might appeal to older kid with our new keyboard cover, please let me know :) Amy

Dd11 loves to write. I introduced her to Dancemat typing at the same age as her older sister, but by that time she was already hunting and pecking fairly quickly. After that, Typing.com really frustrated her because she kept trying to go for speed and sacrificed finger position to do it. Then I dropped the ball for a couple years and she got even faster, but I feel like I need to teach her properly, especially because she loves writing and her future career will probably involve writing. Anyone else succeed at reteaching a middle grade child who was fairly quick at hunt-and-peck but needed to learn proper positioning and technique? Would love any recommendations for programs that appeal to older children and don't jump too quickly to speed drills. She does love animals, so a program with cute animal graphics for younger kids just might work. Thanks, Amy

Running and deep stretching help me, as do magnesium and decreasing caffeine. Could you switch to half caf, so you still enjoy it but the dose is lower? I love Peet's decaf. Sleeping on my stomach sometimes helps after I get up and stretch my calves and thighs. Amy

Can I join in if I'm not entirely boycotting? My birthday is the day after Christmas, so my new policy is that we're available to travel to see family Dec 27, after enjoying Christmas and my birthday at home. I make the Quebecois meat pie tourtiere Christmas Eve, and we invite friends over. For Thanksgiving we're getting a hotel room instead of staying at the ILs. If the boredom/pain/drama is too great, I'll drop off dh and kids and head back to the hotel to swim and write, which sounds like heaven to my introverted soul and could be a great time to move along a book project. My contribution to dinner will be the frozen cheesecake assortment from Costco (it's good!) and some pies. But who knows--depending how all this goes, I just might opt for the full boycott next year. Amy

I no longer fall for fear-based threats like that, though there was a time I was susceptible :p Plus it's the polar opposite of my homeschooling and child rearing philosophy. 11 year-olds in our house are very much in the midst of discovery, exploration and play with a broad range of interests. Around high school they begin prioritizing and focusing their interests, which I see as a lifelong process. And I love that homeschooling allows more time and freedom for the discovery and exploration phase. Whatever your kids love, help them find ways to explore that, and if one resource/class/teacher isn't a good fit for them, try another. Dd15 is most likely headed for a career in environmental science, which makes perfect sense when I think back to the way she'd charge right into swamps on hikes and homeschool field trips. She runs cross country through the woods, became a citizen scientist to collect data for environmental research, and does outdoor leadership, preparing for a winter trip this year. In retrospect, her deepest interests were already apparent when she was a little wild child, even though I didn't recognize them as such. Amy

For interstitial cystitis or frequent burning/urgency issues that don't culture positive for bacteria you could try a low oxalate diet, which is also recommended for calcium oxalate kidney stones (if the doctor sends the stone to the lab to determine what type it is). Amy

Egads--I hope you have the kind of drain cover that screws firmly on! Amy

I'm hungry to dive deeply into my own creative projects and to see where they lead me. It's no accident that I'm also feeling powerfully averse to adding any more work with kids and teaching right now. That could change, but my internal compass is very clear on what I want to do next. I was going to say it has nothing to do with homeschooling, but one of several projects is a children's book I would have loved for homeschooling my girls. I feel like I have to retrain my brain to focus and do deep work, when for so many years I've been multitasking and handling so many people's needs. But I'm so excited it's on the horizon. Amy

I am concerned with the posts that suggest that a 16 yo would be less at risk than a younger child. Without knowing the specifics of this particular offense, and acknowledging that a 16 yo is more capable of assessing risk, communicating and fighting back than a younger child, the age group at highest risk of sexual assault is "15- to 19-year old females, and the most common age of all victims of rape (of both genders) was 15." https://www.livescience.com/37024-sex-assault-young-attractive.html No way would my girls go to their house, or anywhere with either parent. Their child would be welcome at our home and all visits would be supervised. I would also be looking for ways to help the child that do not cross boundaries or increase contact with the family. Amy

Dd15 started school in 8th grade, at the small Catholic school associated with our church, then applied to private high schools from there. It worked out fabulously--she knew a few kids in her 8th grade class from sports and youth group, and the transition to a small school and class went well. She definitely benefitted from the year to adjust to the expectations and demands of B&M school, and really enjoyed class discussions and getting to know all the kids in her class. She was a minor celebrity, actually, joining a class where the majority of the kids had been together since K or first grade. They were happy to meet someone new. I also loved having support for high school tracking in math and Spanish, and applications (the last would not be an issue for public school). High school has gone very well for her academically, and I think the year of preparation in 8th grade definitely helped. It went so well I'm thinking about starting dd11 in 7th grade. She can adapt to school the first year, and apply to high school the second. Doing both in one year was very intense for dd15, even though it was a great year overall. Something just happens with my kids around age 11-12--they become more peer oriented and also start producing better work for other adults. We're still close, have great conversations, and fun as a family. It's just as a daily routine, they seem to do better when other adults are asking them to do things :P Amy

Just like intellectual development, kids' social and emotional development can be very uneven, and progress at different rates for different kids. I do think by young teen age I would look into it, to see if there's something I could learn about my child and/or something I could do to support this particular child's emotional development. Does she show empathy or caring toward animals? If she shows empathy and caring toward animals, I would get her a pet of her own to support development of empathy in that context, and be looking for ways to extend it to humans. If she shows no empathy or caring toward animals or has harmed animals, that's a red flag to me. Either way professional help might shed light on what's happening. I hear in your post a real desire to understand better what's happening. One place to start could be with her pediatrician, to ask who in your area is a good resource for a social/emotional eval. Amy

I like this article by Lori Laken Hutcherson, who was asked by an old high school friend on Facebook to explain white privilege--she includes his question at the beginning. http://www.yesmagazine.org/people-power/my-white-friend-asked-me-on-facebook-to-explain-white-privilege-i-decided-to-be-honest-20170809 And here's the closing paragraph on standing up for fair treatment and justice, which addresses some of the questions raised in this thread: As to you “being part of the problem,†trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody. Just like nobody should be mad at me for being black. Or female. Or whatever. But what IS being asked of you is to acknowledge that white privilege DOES exist and not only to treat people of races that differ from yours “with respect and humor,†but also to stand up for fair treatment and justice, not to let “jokes†or “off-color†comments by friends, co-workers, or family slide by without challenge, and to continually make an effort to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, so we may all cherish and respect our unique and special contributions to society as much as we do our common ground. Amy

"Jumping over" and "shouting down" others???? I think Sneezy's contributions to this thread have been entirely respectful and incredibly generous, in substantively engaging the issues as well as sharing her deep distress and concern for her family, friends and community. I really like how our pastor described Black Lives Matter using the metaphor of a fire department. When there's a house fire, firefighters don't go knocking at every house in town to make sure everyone is okay. They head straight to the house that's going up in flames--and it's not because they don't care about all the houses. Sneezy, thanks to your husband for his service, to you and your kids for your service as military family members, and for the intellectual and emotional labor you put into this thread. It's got to be exhausting. Amy

I think we all have the gene for slow caffeine metabolism. I drink a strong cup of decaf in the morning and that's it. Any more caffeine than that and I'm up at night! I fought it for a long time but have learned to just accept this about myself. Amy

Fresh lemon--I buy bags of lemons at Costco, because our favorite salad dressing and meat marinades all call for lemon. Amy

I just use lemon juice, olive oil, minced garlic and salt. Everyone likes it, and dh and I often shake on some Penzey's Turkish seasoning. So easy! Amy

This. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, and also for the complications and additional grief that has come from not learning where and how your mom was from your half sister. It's just so hard--and sometimes, even more so. :grouphug: Amy

We great big puffy heart love our new Bosch! Our old Whirlpool made a loud cracking sound and sent out sparks and flames, so we had to purchase quickly and ended up buying a Bosch floor model. I was leaning toward a Kitchenaid but it was too wide for the space in our kitchen, and the Bosch fit perfectly. Glad to find a discounted floor model, because they are spendy. Love, love, love it--3 racks with the top silverware rack give us so much more room than our old Whirlpool. I did bring some dishes to the store and wasn't sure the Bosch would work for us, but since it was our best option size-wise we've learned to maximize the space and it holds almost twice as much as the old one. It took a month or two to figure out exactly how to maximize the space. Enjoy your new dishwasher! Ours has seriously made our lives much easier :) Amy

I was going to say exactly this! Boston native, and I always get my clam chowder fix at Logan before heading back to the Midwest :) Amy

I'm so sorry this happened to Person B, but I think there's an incredibly powerful life lesson happening as Person B feels your support in moving out of an unhealthy work or personal situation. Amy

The whole electrical grid failed in our area years ago and we lost water for days because municipal pumps were down. It was scary to have a toddler and no running water, and made me think differently about emergency preparedness. Amy

This is such a beautiful tribute to your mother-in-law! My condolences to you and your whole family. Amy

What kind of magnesium? Certain forms can really help with constipation. I'd probably give mag separately from the other supplements, in a form that loosens stool, so you have that on board to help the GI issues. We take it morning and evening with meals. Low histamine or low oxalate diets can both reduce inflammation and anxiety. We need to do both here, but you could try to figure out if one or the other helps. Have you noticed if chocolate is an issue? High histamine and very high oxalate. Amy