Maybe your dh should have a chance to read this thread so he will see that you are not alone in your assessment of the situation. Fwiw, my dh would have been by my side in the kitchen. I'm sorry your dh acted so poorly. Most likely it was just a lapse of judgement on his part..... Sadly, that ruined things for you, and set a bad example for your dc. I would be livid.... just like you.

Dd is really interested in Villanova. She has her heart set on their 5 year Master's program in the Classics. On paper, it looks like a great fit. We haven't visited since we live in WY, and that makes the trip very expensive. We agreed that we would visit those schools where she was accepted.... I searched this forum, and couldn't find any references to Villanova? Has anyone gone there? Has anyone visited? Thanks! Jackie

Thank you for reminding me of the amazing power of prayer. I do pray for her while she's testing. I pray that her mind would be clear, and that God would help her to recall the techniques or information as needed. But ahead of her next test, I am going to pray daily for her confidence. I am also going to pray that she can feel his presence, and his loving arms around her. This whole process is just so stressful for her. She feels very inadequate. It also doesn't help that her best friend can just consistently achieve an ACT of 33, and SATs off the charts. Sighhhh.

Dd is very bright, an excellent reader, and taking many honors classes with Veritas. She works so hard and so diligently. The problem? Test anxiety. Her ACT and SAT scores are just not up to par with her abilities. She has always had test anxiety..... especially in math and science. She is currently taking Calc 1, and Organic Chemistry. These are HARD classes for her, and she has to work hard to maintain a B avg. in these online classes. But they are far above the information tested on the ACT and SAT. When we received the results from the last ACT, (I paid for the question by question results along with the test booklet so that we could see exactly what was missed), we went over the math portion, and she got most of the problems right! She said "well of course I can get them right here in my bedroom, but I psych myself out on the test." She has taken MANY practice tests. She has studied the ACT study guides. She is currently doing the Chalkdust ACT-SAT Math Review DVD series. We have 2 weeks until her last chance at the ACT. Please, can anyone give me ideas on how to help my dd do better on this test? Dh says that the best thing we can do right now is instill confidence in her abilities. Yes, I agree..... but how? In my own personal experience, the way to feel confident and prepared for something like this is to do all the work (studying) possible ahead of time. But this doesn't seem to be working for Dd. Ideas? Help? Please? She deserves to do well on these tests, and be accepted at the college of her choice. Thanks so much, Jackie

I don't know. I've had to be a little bit philosophical about this. We bought a ranch in the middle of nowhere about 5 years ago. The nearest town has a population of 250 people. No joke! Most people are related. But we have absolutely no ties there. Didn't know a soul when we bought the place. At first it bothered me that everyone seemed to know everything about us. I couldn't remember ANYBODY'S name. But they all knew me. They were friendly, though. As ranchers, we have to help each other with seasonal work. So that situation is different for us than it is for you. But we got to know and appreciate each other that way. Last year, one of the life-time inhabitants told me, "We don't have a lot to offer here. No big shopping centers; not even a theatre. But we all look out for each other, and if someone wants to be a part of our community, we will make it possible. We will find them a job, we will look after their children." That was a great comfort to me. I want to be a part of the community.... because that's where my dh wants to be. I think it can be a good life for us.... if I choose to see the good, and shrug off the annoying. Know what I mean?

Thanks Elise. I will do my best. It's going to be a while, though. Probably the end of next summer before it's actually all done. We'll live in it "as is" through this winter and spring, except for buying the new stove, and then really remodel next summer. Jackie

Thanks for all the links, Kim. It's so much fun to look! Couple of questions: Do you use the warming oven much? It's soooooo lowwwww. (I'm tall). I'm really curious about the butcher block counter tops.... Do you think they'll hold up? Is there a lot of upkeep? I'm thinking of having most of the counter tops be composite, and then maybe have a small island with a butcher block top... (My dh is hard on things. It needs to be durable). I think we'll do the same thing you did with the cabinets. So efficient and easy. Thanks again! Jackie

So do you have your double oven right under the range? Or do you have them in the wall somewhere? I've seen both. It seems that if you have a double oven built in with the range, that bottom oven (usually the larger of the two) is SO FAR DOWN, I would break my back pulling a large roast or turkey out of the oven. Thoughts?? What about a hood above the range vs the microwave? I'm thinking the hood would be so much nicer. But I don't want a microwave on the counter either....

I don't know.... I had white cabinets in the kitchen of another ranch, and I didn't mind cleaning them...:confused:. I guess I just like the white look that much! :tongue_smilie: At least with white cabinets, when they look clean, they ARE clean. I've had other cabinets with dark stain, and they look pretty good, but sometimes you put your hand on them to open them, and you FEEL the grime! EWWWWWW!!!:eek:

The house was built in 1918. It is very cool. I'll be basically starting from the bottom up in the kitchen. I will need a gas range (30 in.), a dishwasher, and a kitchen sink. I cook a lot! (like most of you), so it will need to be very functional. We also keep everything forever! So it all has to be durable. We don't have a lot of money. I would like to keep the range around $1,200. I think I would like a farmhouse sink, but they're very expensive. This house has lots of charm, and will be on our cattle ranch. I will keep a simple country look to it. Wood floors, and likely white cabinetry. Please tell me what I need to think about. I've never done this before. :001_huh: Ideas, suggestions, and links are most welcome. Thanks hive!

This makes me unreasonably angry. Dd NEEDS to get high scores on these tests in order to go to one of her dream schools. She has studied hard, and is so very stressed over the whole process. To see that the playing field, may not, in fact, be level...... well it just infuriates me! The school and the proctor should be reported, imho.

Our opthalmologist offered to custom order prescription goggles for us. They were very expensive, so we didn't go that route, but it can be done. Dd wears contacts with regular goggles. It is working well for her.... but she's 17.

Thanks so much Nan and Nancy. I really appreciate the information you both provided!

NOT

The articles you linked refer to small businesses employing 50 employees or less. The company that dh works for employs, on average, 100 to 120 people. So it will not receive any tax benefits. It will be fined $2000 to $3000 per employee if it does not offer them healthcare. Right now, the company spends about $7800 per full time employee for basic health care benefits. (No vision, no dental). You do the math.

I like your definition, Dawn. I would amend it a little bit to say that a retirement plan can look dramatically different from family to family. For some it might be a savings account, others an investment in stocks, and still others, a business which could be sold. But yes, I think of middle class in the same way that you described it.

Actually, I did address the content of your post. You said that the company's decision to stop offering health care made no sense, and that it was political fearmongering. But the reality is this: The plan put in place by President Obama, and upheld by the supreme court (It's so much shorter to just call it "Obamacare"), places requirements on small business that are not currently in effect. The supreme court called it a tax. It is cheaper to pay the fine than to pay the tax. If the company can avoid paying a higher cost for healthcare, they might just be able to stay in business and keep offering jobs to the 100+ people they currently employ. Why do you think business is evil? Business, especially small business, is made up of normal people just trying to make a living. If this business goes under, I will most assuredly have to put my children into public school, and go out and look for a job to replace dh's income. We are not evil. We are trying to provide for our family. We also have the added burden of having a lot of $$ invested in the company, which we will not get back if it fails. Additionally, we have the responsibility to try and make the best business decisions possible for the many employees of the company, some of whom are very near and dear to our hearts. And there is a benefit to providing coverage right now. The benefit is that the company can attract and keep good employees. Once the new healthcare plan is in effect, that benefit no longer exists. The company merely pays the fine, and the employee has healthcare.

I think class discussion is meaningful. I think that a vibrant middle class is critical to the life of a culture. There are absolute truths in life. People have value. Without a middle class, society descends into a "haves" vs "have-nots" mentality. The haves, to be very basic about it, control everything. The have-nots become dependent and hopeless. This sort of system is not honoring to the value of human beings. Of course people have different levels of ability. I will never be an engineer. That is apparently where the money is..... career-wise. but my life is no less valuable than that of an engineer, and I believe that if I'm willing to work, I should still be able to earn enough to support myself. Is this just pie-in-the-sky? I hope not.

No, actually, it's NOT "political fearmongering". It's a business decision. My dh has championed the employees of his business time and time again. How dare you question his motivation. Facts are facts. Dh and the management team are doing all they can to SAVE THE BUSINESS. Do you understand that? There are many jobs at stake here, including his own. This is not political. It is a matter of survival. I find your tone offensive and ill-informed.

:iagree::iagree: It is so frustrating to me that a hard-working person cannot support a family.

Really good points. With respect to the homes.... how much of it is financed by debt? How many of these homeowners are upside-down on their mortgages? In our community, many jobs are tied to the State University. Most of the "really nice homes" I've been in, are owned by couples that are pulling down 2 incomes from the University. BUT, some of the people who are doing really well seem to be retailers of luxury goods (boats, snowmobiles, etc.). It seems to be counter-intuitive to the situations of financial duress described here on the boards. And that kind of leads one to conclude that the upper middle class is getting wealthier, and the middle-class, or lower middle-class is getting poorer. Hence the original question..... is the middle class going away?

I have been thinking about the "poorer" thread quite a bit. It appears to me that some people are doing well, and many, of course are feeling quite a bit poorer. It seems that many of the jobs that used to be enough to support a family have gone away. My dh has been involved with a small manufacturing business for over 20 years. The jobs provided by that company used to pay enough for an employee to support a family. But because of the recession, the uncertainty in the economy, and MANY other factors, the company had to lay off many of it's workers (about 1/3). Business has picked up a bit in the last 6 months, but instead of re-hiring full-time workers, the company has hired temps. This reduces the burden and the expense of hiring new workers. Let me just say that this is a small business. It normally employs about 125 people. The company is doing all it can to stay afloat. All the owners and management took a 48% pay cut in '08. The owners pumped more $$ into the company. I want to stress the financial situation because this is not about a greedy corporation "putting it to" the workers so that the owners can rake in the big bucks. Everyone is struggling. Dh has told me that when Obamacare begins, the company will stop paying any medical benefits. It will be cheaper to pay the fine. Many of the employees of this small business have been there from the start... over 20 years... and their job is being whittled away to the point that they can no longer support their families. It is heartbreaking to my dh and to me. So the question for discussion is: Do you think the middle class in America is going away? Are we headed towards a society that has the fairly wealthy (and extremely wealthy) at the top of the ladder, with nothing in the middle, and the poor at the bottom? I don't think we're there yet.... but it sure seems to me that things are headed that way. Remember: No politics, please! If at all possible ;)

I knoooooow! I think I might just call the presenter and make sure I understood him correctly! This can't be right! :tongue_smilie: Thanks Faith.

This sounds obviously logical to me.

:iagree: