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Jackie in NE

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Everything posted by Jackie in NE

  1. :iagree: :iagree: I wish all young women in that situation could have that kind of support.
  2. A couple of you expressed an interest in knowing the outcome of our situation here, where my niece is in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy, and trying to decide on a plan of action. I am so proud of dh's family! They have been so completely supportive of our niece! One aunt offered her the option of living with them until she graduates from college, so that she could keep her baby, and have help raising it while she was going to school. One uncle offered to foster the baby until our niece is ready to parent herself. Our niece turned down both of those offers. What she would really like to do is have the baby adopted, and then transfer to another university to get away from the abusive father of the baby. She and her mom, dh"s sister, will be visiting him in jail on Tuesday, (with a social worker) to see if he will relinquish his parental rights. We are all praying that he will. He is unaware of the pregnancy at this point. Today, we're going to offer our niece the option of choosing us as adoptive parents for her baby. We hope she will say yes, but we are also completely ready to let it go, if she declines. She has said that she wants the baby to be known and loved by the extended family, and that she wants to be a part of the baby's life.... in other words, she wants a very open adoption. So we'll see if our idea works for her. For those of you who pray, I would covet your prayers on this issue. God knows the best way for this dear little baby. But I will say again that I am so proud of dh"s family, and how they have stepped forward in support of our niece. That, to me, is how families should operate. Cheers, Jackie
  3. We just started our own club this year. So far I absolutely love it!! There are no dues. (I have never paid any annual fee. Ever.) We limited the size of our club to 15 kids so that we could take turns hosting the monthly meetings in our own homes. So each month we meet at someone's house, have a potluck, then a meeting, then the kids just have social time (and so do the parents :) ) We have no bank account. If we want to give money to a cause, or sponsor awards at the fair, we vote on it, and then everyone just pitches in. We have no fundraisers. Our community service projects are family-driven. That is, if a family has a cause or a service that they want to support/do, they present it to the club, and anyone that wants to join in can do so. This structure, or lack thereof, has worked very well for all involved. We all happen to be homeschoolers, and several of the families have new babies, and husbands that work out of town, or long hours, etc. In other words the women of the family are somewhat overwhelmed and don't want to deal with all of the requirements that were inherent in the other clubs. It is amazing how involved the club members have become! Since the club is so small, almost all of the members must hold an office, or be on a committee, etc. That was not our experience with our previous club. In that club, most activities were pushed by a few vocal members, and everyone else fell in line. The kids did not feel that it was "their" club. That's probably more information than you wanted, but I thought it might help. Cheers, Jackie
  4. Tap, tap, tap, Thanks so much for posting the details of 2 very heart-wrenching stories. I believe that both of your stories speak to the heart of the pros and cons of the options in front of us. Thank you so much. You and your dh are a wonderful example of truly putting the dear child first. I have no idea where all of this will lead.... maybe nowhere. Dh and I are taking the week-end to pray and consider the right path. May God bless you!
  5. Gosh, thanks for all the thoughtful replies! There are a few facts I failed to mention in my original post. YES, our niece is considering adoption. She is going through Catholic Charities, and just started looking at family profiles yesterday. She is open to an open adoption, which is the way dh and I adopted our other babies. We believe in FULL disclosure. Our niece wants the baby to be known by the entire family. She wants us to meet the baby. I think this is somewhat unrealistic if she places the baby for adoption with another family, but the point is that she feels love and support from her extended family. Our age is a big deal in my mind. We are both very active, high-energy parents..... that is not a problem. But how will it be for this dear child to be 20 when we are 68??? Now that's probably not the worst thing that can happen to a person, but would she be happier in a younger, more traditional family? I don't feel that we are coveting this child. At all. That is a bit offensive, actually. I feel that our motives are pure..... We want the best for this dear baby, and I think that would include her being loved by her extended biological family. But I don't in any way think that we are the only people that could provide her with a loving home. Not at all. We have a wonderful adoption attorney. We would insist on adoption, because we know ourselves well enough to know that it would break our hearts if the bio father came around and messed up her life. We always say that "good fences make good neighbors". In other words, it is best to have the boundaries clearly defined for everyone in a situation like this. But people don't always observe boundaries. That could make things hard. But I've done hard before. I can do hard. Thanks everyone.
  6. Dh and I recently learned that our niece will be giving birth early next month. There is a possibility that we could adopt this child. A little background: Our niece is 19 and just finished her 1st year at a private university. She is on a full ride scholarship there. The "father" of the child is in jail for some sort of petty theft. He is abusive toward our niece, and there is a restraining order against him. Dear niece has been in love with this man for 2 years, and is in counseling, but has told her mother she cannot guarantee that she will not go back to this jerk. Dh and I are nearly 50. We have 4 dc, ranging in age from 10 to 16. 3 of our dc are adopted. We have always wanted a 5th child. Dh is dreaming up names for this baby already :001_smile: We feel like we're extremely busy, building a ranch, homeschooling, etc. (doesn't everybody?) We have a good, but not close, relationship with our niece. We see her maybe 3 times/year at family gatherings. She lives 5 hrs away from us. Our overriding goal is to do what's best for this baby. Dear niece has not yet decided on an adoption plan for this baby, but she is really in a tough spot. We have a large, and very loving extended family. Frankly, the idea of this dear baby not being a part of this family just breaks my heart. But I also see the pitfalls associated with adopting a baby within a family. Has anyone out there done something like this? What am I not anticipating? What are the pros and cons? What has your experience been?? Thanks for any words of wisdom. I truly appreciate it!!
  7. So sorry to hear of your frustrations. Have you talked to VP about it? I'm wondering if they make the tests difficult in order to see if the student should be in a higher level class.... Dd is going to take the pre-calc placement test in a couple of weeks. She is very nervous about it. Did your Dd still gain entrance into the course? Maybe the student doesn't need as high a score as one would normally think. I agree with you that the addition of the placement tests makes the whole process more anxiety-producing. I'm guessing they're doing this in order to have all the students at the same level...... :grouphug:
  8. Just curious... have you read any of his books?? He is the first to admit that his actions were despicable. Is there no grace, and no redemption possible from your point of view?? Oh, and you've given me a perfect example of an ad hominem attack to use in my next logic lesson with dd. Sheesh!
  9. Asta, I just want to say that I appreciate your post. It's a lot to think about. I guess, as a summary, one can say that "There is nothing new under the sun." The world is fallen. Chuck Colson said in one of his books, that as Christians, it is our duty to try to make our existence here as much like "heaven on earth" as possible. (That's obviously a paraphrase). I think that righteous judgement is part of our responsibility. We must protect the weak. Thanks for your post.
  10. Yes, I like Lial's BCM too. This is the book that dd used for pre-algebra. I'm thinking that she might really hate reviewing a text that she used in 7th grade, kwim?? It is so complete though.....
  11. Thanks! I wonder if this level (LoF decimals and percents) would be meaty enough?? I know, I don't want it to be too much, but I don't want it to be a waste of time either.....
  12. Dd (sophomore) just took the ACT for the 1st time. Her math score reflects competence in algebra, geometry, and trig., but a gap in decimals and percents!:blink: She admits that she never really "got" that. So I guess the feedback is accurate. I do wonder, though, how a student can ace Alg. II, with a gap in such a basic concept. :confused: Anyway, I was thinking LoF to fill the gap. I have never used these books, but have heard so many good things about them on the boards. Dd works SO HARD all school year..... I would like for her to have a summer that doesn't include tough academics. A dry, boring, math book would certainly ruin MY summer.... So would LoF ruin your summer? I've heard that it takes a humorous approach to math. That would be a nice change. What say you????
  13. Would you translate the following phrase "around the lake" as "circum lacum" or "circum lacu" ? Why? How about "into the cavalry"? Which would you use; ablative or accusative? Thanks! I'm sure there's an easy explanation...... I just don't "get" it.:001_huh:
  14. :grouphug: :grouphug: No advice.... just hugs and empathy. I have one a little bit like this.... not so much with the stealing, but with the never being happy. He always wants the next thing. He always feels short-changed. He is always wanting. I feel so sorry for him. Life will be very difficult if he can't be satisfied with what he has.....
  15. Well Denver is a really fun town! What kinds of things are you looking for? There's the Denver art museum, the aquarium, the museum of nature and science (our favorite), and the zoo. The zoo and the nature and science museum are right next to each other, which makes it kind of easy, although you'd probably want at least a full day for each. Then there's the downtown area. Lots of shopping, plays, concerts, etc. You might want to google "red rocks" which is an outdoor ampitheatre. They have lots of great concerts there. And of course..... you'll be in the Rockies! So if you're at all into hiking, or mountain climbing, The Denver area will be like heaven to you. If you go to denver.org, you'll find all kinds of information. Does that whet your appetite a bit???? Welcome to the Rocky Mountains....it's beautiful here. :)
  16. :lol: Very funny! I also like his "The Government Can" video. Thanks for the link!
  17. Wait a minute! Did you go to the same high school that I went to? I could have written your post. Honor student and all that, and it was a joke. I could have done so much more. Like you, nobody was pushing me. My parents were just too busy, and "no news is good news", right?? Fast forward to dd, 16, and a sophomore. She attends the local public high school part-time. She takes her math and science there. I've been very pleased with it. Her teachers are bright and engaging. My dd now likes math, and she never liked it at home. She will have taken 4 years of math, through calculus 1, and four years of science, through physics and organic chemistry by the time she graduates. That is more than I could have done for her at home. Now, ymmv on the quality of the high school. Ours offers classes that really run the whole spectrum... from vocational, to just passing the time, to college prep. Maybe not all high schools are the same? Also, dd is happy that she is only there part-time. She just hates all the drama and stupidity that goes on there. And one more thing..... your children and mine have very involved parents that are really paying attention. So NOT like my parents. I think that makes a huge difference with ANY track you choose. Warm Regards, Jackie
  18. First of all, :grouphug: :grouphug:. I thought that last year would be my worst year ever..... until this year. I. am. so. tired. I don't even have the "oomph" to explain the fatigue. 4 kids, basically single parenting, and trying to keep a marriage alive when dh lives 200 miles away. I actually dream about the day when I can just not worry about all the responsibility. I was actually looking on line at 2-room cottages, where I could just sit and drink coffee and look out the sunny windows, and not think about anything! I'm in my 11th year of homeschooling. And I am so tired of it all. Hopefully a summer break will make us all feel better.
  19. My 16 yo dd left her toothbrush in the car. Then we had to switch cars to haul some livestock, and the car (and the toothbrush) were 200 miles away. A week later, dd told me she had left her toothbrush in the car, and would I please buy her a new one. Really? Really???? I stupidly asked her what she had been doing in the way of oral hygiene for the past week...... :001_huh: You don't want to know. I wish I could give you some words of encouragement, but I truly believe that rearing dc, especially through adolescence, is a bit like running a 3-ring circus. :willy_nilly: :grouphug: Hang in there. That is what I live with on a daily basis. And I have no idea how to fix ANY of it.
  20. I hear ya. Every spring it's like this, and every spring I'm surprised by the complete lack of initiative and work ethic exhibited by my dear children! :glare: :toetap05: Today I am chanting "6 more weeks, just 6 more weeks". But a desserted island is a much better idea.... though not for my waistline. :tongue_smilie:
  21. Yes. I can sympathize. :grouphug: :grouphug: My own ds has the same symptoms. He was so unhappy at home. He was so frustrated. Nothing seemed to work, and he saw his brother progressing in his schoolwork, while he was not. Dh and I decided to enroll him in a local charter school. This charter school is academically rigorous, and very structured. Ds is a very bright boy, and we thought that with the right teacher, he would thrive. Ds's teacher is truly excellent. I have nothing but good things to say about her. But ds is still so frustrated and unhappy. He can. not. focus. I suspected something was wrong with his vision, and sure enough, his eyes don't focus properly, which makes reading extremely difficult. He has been in vision therapy since Sept. (@ $100/wk) and although there has been some improvement, it is miniscule. He is being tested, as we speak, for additional learning disabilities. I suspect he will land somewhere on the autism spectrum. I am not averse to drugs for ADD. And frankly, (gently) I can't understand an aversion to something that will make life better for a child. We thought for a long time, that ds was just "all boy", and that he needed to start school later, after he had matured. But now we see that wasn't the case. He is 10 yrs. old now. It is time to face the fact that he needs help. I hope and pray that the testing will give me some tools to help my poor, bright, frustrated, unhappy, angry ds. Life SHOULD NOT be this hard when you're 10 years old. So yes, I can sympathize. It is so hard to feel so powerless to help your ds, isn't it? I truly hope that you and your dh can get your ds the help he needs. Life shouldn't be that hard. :grouphug: :grouphug:, Jackie
  22. Said my 6th grader after 45 minutes of Latin this afternoon. :tongue_smilie:
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