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Everything posted by mitten

  1. Right before covid hit they cut his time in resource room completely as he was supposedly doing "so well", even though he was hurting other kids and coming home talking about blowing up the school.
  2. Yes. They pushed mainstream hard. He went from a small class of mostly autistic kids at a developmental preschool to a regular class of 20 kids with almost no supports. My son appears very high-functioning to other people. He actually is not, but because he is smart and sociable and has a large vocabulary, he appears that way. His adaptive skills are very low and his actual social understanding is low as well. I'm not sure what the placement options would be if I put him back in school, I'm worried they would just mainstream him again.
  3. I am not sure if my son benefits from the structure of school or not. He was very, very unhappy in mainstream kindergarten, even before virtual started. And then virtual was a disaster. Ultimately I want to do whatever is best for him but I'm not sure what that is. ETA: I did ask him about going back to public school and he started to cry.
  4. I've had a mild concussion years ago, does that count? Kidding (well, not about the concussion). I haven't really had a break since covid started. I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday with everything. I had a good cry after I posted here. We were able to get math done today after some negotiation.
  5. We have lots of professional help. I do want to bring in some more but not while eveyrhting is virtual where I live ... I think maybe I'm just having a bad day.
  6. UPDATE - We took a break, it was awesome; this week we are trying to ease back into school and it's not going well at all. He is resisting everything. I'm starting to wonder if a lot of what I thought was his attention problems is actually just delaying tactics on his part, like pretending he doesn't hear the question. Should I give up on homeschooling and put him back in public school? I can't even get this child to use the restroom or wear his glasses consistently, so I'm not sure what business I have trying to educate him, really ...
  7. They are seriously addicting. I don't watch much TV but have watched quite a few K-dramas. One of my earliest memories is of my grandmother wrapping me in a sari she'd brought back from India, where she'd lived for years and where my dad was born. We are white. It's sad to me to think that could be considered cultural appropriation. When I was in Bavaria I purchased a dirndl from a very kind woman who fitted me and everything; she was one of the few people I met there who didn't speak any English (I spoke enough German to get by). I'm not a local, but my heritage is German and Austrian.
  8. Probably! Yes, we will spend lots of time on hiking trails and the park. DH wants to take him fishing, too.
  9. I just decided we are taking next week off. This is undoable and it wasn't this bad a few weeks ago.
  10. This made me laugh. Yes, we "agree to disagree" a lot in this household. I've learned there is very little to be gained from arguing with him. Unless it's a safety issue or something, I generally drop it. Sometimes we can come back to it at a different time and he will accept correct information. Sometimes not.
  11. Hi, I'm new around here. I'm currently homeschooling a 6 year old first grader diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, and possible dyslexia (for complex reasons we were unable to have full dyslexia testing done). He can be quite oppositional and I suspect he would be diagnosed with PDA if we lived overseas. In some ways homeschooling is going well. He is learning and progressing, and we have fun a lot of the time. But he argues with me constantly - about basic facts (eg "Komodo dragons don't live in the Arctic" or "this is a triangle") as well as schoolwork and self-care activities and such. This week has been particularly difficult as he has been pushing back hard on everything. Right now I'm thinking we need to try stimulants again (he had a bad reaction to the stimulant we tried, but I think it's worth trying a different one) and maybe eventually an anxiety med. I don't know what else? My impression is that everyday things are quite difficult for him for many reasons and I wish I could make them easier while still helping him become more independent. Those of you that have homeschooled kids like this, did you find a particular approach was helpful? I try to be flexible and collaborative and give him a fair amount of control while still covering what I feel he needs to know and what's required by my state.
  12. I agree. While I totally understand the desire to be able to take back things that one regrets, writers sometimes regret great works of literature. If Tolstoy had had his way, we might not have "Anna Karenina" or "War and Peace," as he was ashamed of them in the later part of his life. And I believe that the English language, classical European arts, etc, belong to anyone who wants to lay claim to them. There is an essay by the poet Marilyn Nelson about the dilemma of writing in classic verse forms as a black woman. It's called "Owning the Masters." I don't expect everyone to agree with this view or to want to lay claim to these cultural artifacts, but they are there for the taking, for engagement, for reinterpretation, for those who want to engage in these ways.
  13. We read Native Son in my high school lit class. We also addressed pretty much all of those questions (if memory serves) when reading Huck Finn, as well as the question of whether that book should be read in school at all and its emotional impact on black people. It sounds like maybe my experience was unusual though?
  14. I think this is reasonable and appropriate in this particular situation (the estate deciding not to publish certain books that aren't popular anyway and are offensive). That said, there is a larger context in which some people are calling for the disappearance of many books and arts and the concept of canon (eg. I saw a discussion about classical ballet yesterday in which someone called for us to "burn it to the ground and start over" and it had a bunch of likes), and I think that larger context is what worries some of us.
  15. That's great. Are you planning on homeschooling past this year or not sure yet?
  16. I was being facetious in the bolded part; sorry if that wasn't clear. I have read things, including medical articles, that said ODD is caused by too little discipline AND by too much discipline. Basically finding any way they can to pin it on the parent, regardless of parenting style. I don't believe that's actually the cause.
  17. I think this may be true, but I also think that the way ODD is usually framed is less likely to lead to sympathy, either for the kid or for the parents. I have read a lot online about ODD and have noticed a lack of interest in what's actually motivating the child (whereas people who talk about PDA are trying to figure this out) as well as a lot of parent-blaming. Apparently ODD is caused both by too little discipline and too much discipline; you can't win.
  18. As I understand it, PDA is diagnosed in the UK and not the US, so if you're in the US and have PDA-like symptoms, you're going to get an autism + ODD diagnosis. ODD is not itself considered to be on the autism spectrum. Arguably, the two diagnoses are different ways of interpreting similar behaviors, with different implications. I'm not saying that they are definitely the same thing, but I suspect there is overlap and a lot of subjectivity. I have a child with ASD with oppositional behavior (but no ODD dx so far). Some days, it does seem like he just enjoys being defiant ... but ultimately I know there is more underlying those behaviors. Things are a lot harder for him than for the average person. But it would be easy for someone who isn't his mother to look at his behavior and attribute malice.
  19. Well, after changing my mind about twenty times, I actually decided to start with FLL 1. It came in the mail today and I've incorporated it into our plans for the coming week. We'll see how it goes!
  20. I don't know of DVDs, but do you already have the Usborne chess book with the puzzles and stickers? Edit: It might be too young for him, I'm not sure ... but I am working through it with my almost-7 year old and am learning things myself that I didn't know.
  21. Sympathy here, too. I have a kid with ASD/ADHD/maybe other stuff, also very strong-willed and can be just rude and awful with threats, aggression, etc. These comments are helpful.
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