KSera-My other two boys also have the stealth variety of dyslexia. They read very well and compensate for the dyslexia; except they cannot hide the spelling. Their spelling is dreadful. This child does well in spelling and reading but has the other weird things that his brothers do. That is why I though symptoms of dyslexia. It is the crossover into math that is so different. With the brothers it is just flipping errors that when you point them out, they easily can fix. That is so different with this DS. Math is much more impaired than writing is. I guess that being the case just really caused me to think maybe not dyslexia. Maybe though, stealth is right, and it is just impairing math more. I will say, when writing he does struggle to keep his sentences in an orderly sequence. That is about the only struggle with writing he has. I figured some of that was age and inexperience, but I suppose it could be the sequencing issues with dyslexia. He does struggle with alphabetizing and cannot remember the months of the year either. Citymouse-Yes! The change from day to day, the good days and then the bad days. That is so him. Testing will hopefully happen sooner rather than later. We really must do this other stuff first though. I hear you on the frustrations. I have not been feeling awesome myself, so my patience level has been lower. This is definitely something I need to be better about. LovingLife-I have all of MM light blue, so I can use that for extra practice. The hate of the block is one concern that I have dumping money into trying MUS. I am not sure if he would go for it or resist. That is kind of why I was thinking of doing something alongside CLE as a trial, but then if it didn't work, I didn't blow money on yet another curriculum. And as I said, CLE has been working better than anything else we have used before it.

EKS-thank you for replying. We do use melatonin for sleep (helps a lot) and protein and tea for breakfast (which also helps). The medication we really need to hold off on until we cannot find anything else that works. This is because of complex family health issues. The side effects are of course a concern, but it is even more than that with our history. While will look into MUS, my first goal was to not switch him to a new curriculum yet again. If I could find a way to use manipulatives to meet his needs without switching curriculum, that would be my first choice. I am wondering if I can do that with Cuisenaire blocks? Maybe add in the abacus for basic arithmetic work so he is not guessing? We did try the challenging word problems too. I gave up on that as he just couldnt do most of it correctly and I was using the grade level behind. Thanks for telling me you see similar stuff and that it was ADHD and dyslexia. That could be what this is. I know he shows some signs of dyslexia, I just had not experienced such difficulty with math due to dyslexia in my other boys. That is why I questioned if this might be dyscalculia, but that didnt fully fit either. I already figured the ADHD played a part in it too. I just don't think ADHD gets all of the blame. Thanks for all the thoughts and help everyone. I am still reading if anyone else has something to add.

Very frustrating. Sorry you are dealing with it too.

Yes! And for a bit it seems to help or seems completely easy. And then later, when he reviews it in his current level, he can't do it. An example of this is doing a problem in a lower grade book on subtraction with borrowing. He can do it. It is "easy". But if he then does it in the grade 4 book it will add another place value (usually a thousand) and suddenly he can't do it. Even when I show him that it is the same thing and that he just needs to keep going. It causes him to lose the steps entirely, just because a new place value was added. He starts borrowing from the wrong place values, adds the number as a one instead of a 10, totally screws it all up. At that point if I give him the grade behind work again and he still can't do it, he has unlearned it, and we must start over completely. It is like we hit some glitch switch that can't handle the new information so just throws the braker on the whole thing.

I hear you Lovinglife. I guess I would feel as you do about not being ready for concepts when their age says they "should" be, but the learning and doing it for a while and then losing it again is not the same as not being ready to understand it in the first place. That is what concerns me. If he just wasn't ready, I would just be plodding along at his pace, even if that was not at "grade level". I know you cannot push him to be where he isn't just to say he is on grade level. This is just a bit, I don't know, something else...something more than just "not being ready." I am more concerned about not remembering symbols, unlearning what was learned, inability to remember math facts, difficulty knowing he is way off in his answer and why that is, and difficulties with place value. The biggest concern is the unlearning one thing when learning a new one.

Currently, no. We have used them off and on to help, but I haven't lately. I think partially because he has me stumped so often that I am not sure which would work the best to just stick with. Sometimes he refuses things he thinks are "babyish" so that is part of the issue too. I have the right start abacus, Cuisenaire blocks (I haven't used these very much other than our short stint in Miquon), and of course many of the other right start manipulatives. I could pull out anything and try again. Part of the issue though is he is easily distracted, so I need to use something that works, but doesn't cause him to play or wander and forget to use them to do his work, kwim? I am definitely open to them though.

To start out, no I cannot do testing right now. Funds are being used in a much more serious situation, so testing will have to be on a waitlist for us at this time. With that said, I am posting this for pointers to help me better teach the child in front of me. This is my youngest DS who just turned 10yo. For back history, my older DSs have been tested and have dyslexia, the oldest also tested borderline dysgraphic. Had I not put a huge amount of effort into his ability to write, there is no way he would have been borderline. His handwriting and writing mechanics are still dire as it is. This eldest DS has also been evaluated (and would have completed a full examination except for COVID) and has been "highly suggested" to be ASD1 (aspergers) but it cannot be fully official until completed. So, with all that family history, you can see there is "stuff" and my youngest having issues is not exactly surprising. However, math has not been a source of issue in any of my other children (other than sloppy handwriting or a few number reversals causing errors). All of the older kids do very well in math. The facts: 1. In some ways he has presented dyslexic like his brothers and in other ways not. He switches syllables when talking (pasghetti, viginer, aminal etc), not as much as he used to though. He substitutes words he knows how to read for words he doesn't that start and end with the same letter (independent-incandescent). This messes up comprehension occasionally. He occasionally flips letters and had a really hard time hearing blends correctly (this has almost resolved). "Dr" he would hear as /j/, Tr was /ch/, and he always spelled words with wh as hw (all of my boys struggled with the wh). Most of these issues are better now. He reads very well, but slowly. He went through the entire AAR program and that made a big difference. His handwriting is really good. I have considered him dyslexic-ish since he does not show many troubles in reading, spelling, or writing. 2. He (again not tested) for sure has ADHD. He is nothing like my others in this regard. He is impulsive, unfocused, daredevil, always moving, always singing/talking/making verbal sounds, can't remember rules, and doesn't hear people a good majority of the time. The "acts as if driven by an unstoppable motor" is a very apt description for him. I cannot give him the same responsibilities or freedom that I gave my other children at 10. I simply cannot trust him to be safe or not cause trouble even when he doesn't mean to. 3. And then we get to the heart of my questions...math... he is on grade level, barely. This is after a ton of hard hard work and even redoing 2nd grade math. Still, it is a huge struggle. The curriculum we have tried: Singapore (no retention), Right Start (learned some but it was too scattered for it to stick), Beast (tears and confusion), Miquon (confusion), MEP (confusion), MM (a little better than Singapore, but still not enough retention) and now we are on CLE. This has been the best fit so far and how we have managed to catch up. The amount of daily review is perfect, and he has had the most retention so far with this. CLE is not something I want to change as it seems to be a really good fit, but I need to still help with his quirks on the side somehow. The biggest problem is that when he learns a new thing, he unlearns past things that were solid. WHAT IS THAT!?! (sorry-major frustration) When he was younger, he had addition down pat. We added subtraction and not only could he not understand subtraction, but he unlearned addition. We would regroup and relearn addition and subtraction slowly until it got better. Then we added multiplication and the same thing happened again. This is what prompted the redo of 2nd. By the end of the book, he still couldnt keep addition, multiplication, and subtraction clear. Currently this is happening with multidigit multiplication and learning long division. He is clueless how to keep the steps. Even with a step-by-step example in front of him, he is lost most days. Estimation. He kind of understands rounding in tens and hundreds. Anything above that and he is lost. Also, he cannot tell if the answer he has given to a problem is completely out of the ballpark. If I give him a multiplication problem like 1304*3, he could turn in an answer correctly on time, the next time he might have a number less than 500 or a number in the 10,000s or more. There is no thought about his number not being realistic for the problem he is answering. Even if I say this to him, he is adamant that it is the correct answer and cannot understand how it is not even close. When that happens, we go over the problem step by step and redo it together. At the end he still doesn't see that his original answer was not even close. Math facts: He struggles to remember them. He does Ok with addition. The rest are hit and miss. Subtraction and division are very poor. Multiplication is spotty. Some things like 11s and 2s and 5 and 10 he knows decently well, but the rest are not good. If he does a speed drill in multiplication, subtraction, or division it will be almost blank at the end of time. On a good day he may get close to half of them, on a regular day it is like 7/32. He rarely gets one marked wrong, it is that he doesn't remember them at all, so he leaves the whole thing mostly blank. We do not stress about speed drills; it is just part of the daily work in CLE. It doesn't bother him to do them, but the fact that he can't get even half daily means that he doesn't have his facts solid. Of course, this shows up in his daily work too. He struggles with place value. It took FOREVER to understand just ones, tens, and hundreds. He has that down mostly now, but as he is in 4th grade, he is starting decimals and now he is making errors in ones, tens, and hundreds again. Most of the time he can fix his errors quickly if pointed out to him, but he definitely doesn't see them without help. Fraction comparisons are not working. He cannot tell you that 1/4 is greater than 1/8 or that 1/2 is the same as 2/4. He occasionally flips numbers, loses track of where they line up in columns, and forgets what the signs are. He will ask if + or * is adding or "timesing". He also doesn't always remember the long division set up. Which number is being divided by which number and that his answer goes on the top of the bar. He gets all confused. And the most frustrating is some days it seems like he doesn't have a problem and that it has all stuck, only for it to be gone the next day. He looks at me like I have 3 heads when I say we have learned it before, and it isn't new. I know that it might seem like this is all attention issues, but I really think it is more. He struggles to focus in all his lessons, but he retains everything except math. I do not see these struggles elsewhere. So yes, I know, he should be tested, but since that isn't doable right this second, what would you do? What do you think this is? I have read about dyscalculia, and while I see some things that fit, the number sense aspect is not quite right to me. He is able to do clever things with numbers. He seems to understand number value in most situations. He can do things like make 10 in a problem to make it easier to solve. So that part I am not sure if he struggles with. Can you have dyscalculia without struggling with number sense as much as people like Ronit Bird describe? It would be helpful to have a name for this just so I know what to research to find ways to help. Or if you can help with ideas for how to solidify things better, I would be very grateful! And thanks for getting through this long post!

My DD was about 15, period at 13. The pedi told us the rule of thumb is all growth usually stops by 2 years after the period starts. That was about right for us. The last year to 6 months the growth was very little and slow. We only know she grew at all because we measure on our kids' birthdays. She had grown, just not a lot. At 16 her mark was the same as at 15 and it hasn't changed at 17.

This!

I have three sons. It has been a little different for each one, but between 7-9 for regular every day eating adult size meals. Agreed on growth spurts at very young ages (3-5) they could easily eat more than me. Two of mine are teens. They easily eat 2-3x what I eat daily. It is insane how much it costs to feed them.

Fixed it in my post. Thanks for correcting me.

Even if she physically leaves the cult, the thinking of the cult and the trauma of the cult will go with her. It will be something she has to unwrap, detangle, and heal. That takes YEARS. Maybe even a lifetime. Every time you think you have unwrapped it and healed, you stumble on another painful thing. IME the healing needed after leaving a cult takes every bit as long and is as damaging to recover from as abuse and being parented by narcissistic parents is. To do this while also parenting 7 kids (who themselves might have been abused and certainly have to deal with their own issues from being raised in the cult), having 0 educational benefits, and being completely sheltered and snowed your whole life. It is going to be very hard. I hope she can do it, but she will have to be very very strong.

Yes. You go in the browser tab of Paprika, search for what you are looking for, and then when you click on the website you want there will be a "download" button on the bottom right of the window. Click that and it will extract the recipe into the Paprika recipe format. You can edit it at that point and add it to the category you want it in. Always double check that it got the information correct. Sometimes the formatting screws all up, but that is not very often. Most of the time it works like a dream!

Faith-I hear ya. I wont put the personal information on here to explain why I know...I believe you though. I have some window into this and I know that what you are saying is in fact very true. I am sorry that you and your family were hurt by this. I am sorry you are triggered. I am too. I have not been able to cry yet, partially because if I do I will trigger another person...so I am stuffing it. I too want justice for the sake of his sisters/victims and for CSA victims and this cult's victims. It all makes me sick and brings up too much. I want this scum behind bars and I too would like his parents to be included in that. They clearly are to blame as well. I appreciate the updates without all the details. I tried to read online but it was too triggering.

I hear ya! I had the smashed boxes, missing boxes, late spoiled food filled boxes, and also the fun easter egg hunt of finding the boxes somewhere on my property (sometimes filled with ants by the time I found them). When Imperfect delivers their own boxes, these problems are solved. Sometimes I do get one piece of fruit that bruised another piece, but that is the extent of it. The boxes arrive on my porch, on the day expected, cold, and the box is undamaged. I couldn't be happier. It is a godsend to have this service, especially during COVID times.

I was being sincere when I said that I was glad that people in town (in my mind that included the OP) have the ability to use social media to get some response from FedEx. IMO it will just be a farcical response to make themselves look better and only because they have been called out publicly. Underneath that response though is a company who has shown time and time again that they do not care. And since they do not care, they will certainly not do anything about the dismal service to those who have no way to use social media to shame them and get a better service. Since they do not care about their service, they will not truly fix it. They will just continue to give lip service when needed about how much they care about their customers etc etc (see FedEx's quote in news reports of the ditched packages in the ravine). As PPs said, FedEx treats their employees like crap. They have contracting companies that work for them and don't know what they are doing. Our UPS guy said that it matters from the customer to driver level too in that if he does a poor job, he will hear directly from his manager about it and if he doesn't fix how he delivers, he could lose his job. FedEx holds its drivers more loosie goosy. The driver might get wind of the complaint, but more likely, as long as the truck is emptied, FedEx will say nothing. FedEx doesnt care about the customer or the driver...they just want that truck empty even if the driver is burnt out and underpaid, even if the packages are delivered incorrectly and stuff is damaged, even if the customer is actually furious. As long as the customer recieved a (dinged up) box (with ruined merchandise), they accomplished the mission. If you complain, they give lip service. If you go up the chain, you find out that you would be better off yelling at the wind. They do not care. But hey, they will remind you that you can take it up with the company that sent it to you...cuz why not let another company take the blame for your crappy delivery service. Luvtoread- I also live rural (though not midwest) and I was shocked when I got the email from Imperfect that they were now self-delivering in my area. I didnt expect that in a million years. Nothing really delivers out here except UPS, FedEx, and USPS. I called to verify that it was true. They said they had so many complaints, reimbursed merchandise from damaged shipping, and people canceling their Imperfect accounts, that they decided it was worthwhile to start delivery in my area. Like I said, it took a full year from the time I gave up and canceled to when I got the email. If you like Imperfect, send them an email and tell them exactly why you had to leave. Explain in great detail how FedEx screwed you over. They do listen. If they get enough complaints, they may decide to deliver in your area too.

I had this problem too. Imperfect got so many complaints and canceled accounts that they finally started delivering themselves in my area. It took about a year for them to make the choice to leave FedEx, but man I am so glad they did!

Jean, I am glad that it works for people who live in town. I live in the country. Most of the places on my property that FedEx puts my packages are so far from my doorstep that it wouldn't even show up in a ring video even if I had ring.

So good luck doing anything about it. We tried. FedEx delivery is really very very poor. Ours delivers all over our property. Like in bushes hundreds of feet away from our house. If we get lucky and they bring it near the house, they open the slider, throw the boxes out onto the grass. It tumbles and crunches the corners of the box, ruining the contents inside. When you take it up the ladder with the company you will discover the policy is that as long as they manage to get it within your property line, even if that is under the wheel behind your van (yes, they did this and we ran it over), it is delivered correctly. They will do nothing. They do not care.

This! So much this! It won't be done quickly. It is so hard and such a slow process. Be easy on yourself when you get tricked and fall back into the old responses. Just recognize it and try again.

We anchored the dresser in a closet and then put a baby gate on the door of the closet. Can you do something like that?

Saraha I agree with everyone else. Go have a blast with your DH and kids and make new memories without the crazy. Don't let that guilt creep in and steal the joy from your time with your own family. You can't fix her, it is not your fault, don't allow yourself to be the one who becomes a doormat to smooth stuff over, and don't let her ruin your happy times. What do you and your family want to do? Do that! You are free now to make your own memories without worrying about making her happy.

Wow! This one really resonated with my upbringing. I already have a blackout on this card! LOL

You said it better than I could. Thank you. I am not a drama queen myself...but I know I did act badly before I gave up and accepted it. It is hard to know you wont ever be loved by your family and that nobody sees or cares and just blames you for "not being able to just get along." (IE...not be a silent piece of roadkill so the family can enjoy things while they run you over repeatedly while blaming you for not enjoying it.) But yes, at some point you do have to accept it and move on to be healthier.

Missed that. Makes sense why people are saying drama queen.