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Melissa Louise

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Everything posted by Melissa Louise

  1. Most of the people on this thread who are diagnosed or consider themselves to be autistic have a way better EQ than this normie! (so far as one can tell online). Better social skills too! I think it's called 'all the effort we had to go to not to startle the sheep' 🙂 Which is itself partly a female socialisation thing.
  2. Off main topic but on topic of your post. Schools are still full of kids too young to be there. Drives me nuts. And everyone knows they are too young, and that it makes life difficult for them socially, but the extra year/s of childcare are unaffordable for many. I think it's worse than it was back in the day. At least Kindy used to be developmentally appropriate for 4 year olds, including the half day and naps!
  3. Nature + nurture, baby. Anxiety is both a genetic propensity AND a learned behaviour.
  4. Yes, my score is only slighter higher than yours - I guess questions like the library one are to distinguish between 'just introvert and/or socially exhausted' and autistic traits.
  5. My Dad and eldest DD are adjacent though. Well, DD has an informal diagnosis.
  6. No, I'm not. Instead I get all the fun of trauma + alexithymia + bog standard generalised and social anxiety. Plus introversion. Which makes understanding and dealing with others awkward and tiring but definitely does not equate to autism.
  7. Huh. I think moral exemplar is closest to what I got out of my post-Vatican II Catholic upbringing.
  8. 20 min of yoga; planning on a 30 min walk later.
  9. Just another thought: Something else that can be 'toxic' is when someone does not receive an apology in a productive way. Knowing that one's apology has been verbally but not emotionally received can discourage further apology. It's better to say 'I'm not ready to hear your apology right now, I'm still too hurt/angry, I need more time/space' than it is to 'accept' while not truly accepting. ~ Thinking on this, I've realised one of my children never apologises to me (she might to others, idk). It might just be my history, but to me, that realisation makes me want to look at my role in that fact - have I caused her some underlying anger? Am I pressuring her in some way to exhibit an apology she doesn't feel? Or does she simply disagree with me about times I've considered her to be in the wrong? - before I write her off as nasty or toxic.
  10. Kid (17) takes fluoxetine + ritalin. No problem with the combo.
  11. I had a weird relationship with apology, as a result of frequently being told to apologise by/to my mum during a period in which she was physically and verbally abusive to me. That screws with your head. I both under and over apologised as a result. I am ok with it now, but it has to be self-motivated ie I need to have had time and space to go through a process of self-examination and decide that I owe an apology. I am most motivated when I owe my child/ren an apology, but that's not my sole motivational context. I do not respond to demands or requests for apologies - my experience with that shows me coerced apology is worthless. I trust myself enough to know I do apologise when I am at fault...but that I'm not always at fault. Demands or disappointment that I am not processing my own culpability fast enough to make someone else happy leave me very cold. Ok. Long lead in to questions. Does the person have any coerced apologies in their background? Do they have trouble processing emotion? Is lack of apology being used to shield against introspection? Do they disagree on their role in the conflict? Do they see apology as something that is non-verbal? Or do they generally have issues verbalizing an internal state of mind? This was actually one of my problems.- my theory of mind is a bit screwed up - in some ways I thought if I felt sorry, the other person would Intuit it. It took.a long time to understand that others are not me. We don't share a mind. There are many reasons apology may not come very easily - or at all - to a person.
  12. Ok, people should be able to go to work without getting 'nipped' by a dog.
  13. Nigella is sometimes guilty of not re-testing recipes, much as I love her. My standard for testing comes from a childhood being taught to cook by The Women's Weekly, in whose kitchen all recipes were triple-tested. To this day, you can trust their recipes.
  14. @wathethat was a really helpful post, thanks.
  15. Ugh, I just read Canada has paused their AZ rollout. So rude of the news to report on this the day after my vaccine. Hoping very much not to get a blood clot.
  16. You didn't, though, at all.
  17. Sending love and peace.
  18. AZ first dose yesterday. Tired all day.(but think that might have been nocebo - was expecting that after hearing about it from family). Today - 24 hrs later - I feel really rough - like you do when you're coming down with something. Body soreness, headache, fatigue. Hope it doesn't last long.
  19. I feel very sorry for the workers stuck on this ship (and others).
  20. Just got the AZ vaccine. Second booked for 12 weeks. I know it's not the best vaccine but I'm extremely grateful to have the opportunity to reduce my risk of serious illness if/when we get another wave.
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