260 bodies found at a music festival. Terrorism.

Reported..

Terrible.

Just piggybacking on mention of news clips - be really careful of social media at this time. There are videos circulating of female r*pe victims, including desecration of their bodies after death, and some of the videos open automatically. You don't want to see some of this stuff. The Guardian, The BBC, Al-Jazeera all have live blogs which are a better option than social media.

About 18 hours ago.

Hugs. There isn't one, really. Just be discerning about what you are seeking. It's easy to think we are seeking justice, when what we are seeking is a greater level of comfort. I know it's not as easy as don't go to church and just have a personal relationship with God/s/the Divine. I mean, on one hand, it is. On the other, though - at the interpersonal, historic, cultural level, not so much.

What is a compromise on justice? Eta no need to answer.

Make the gatherings activity based, so conversation has somewhere to land that isn't interpersonal. I don't have the issue with offspring lying, but as I read I thought of a different issue I dealt with in an adult child, and how the answer was more validation (not less) and no critique (even well meant). Switching to a validation only relationship has healed something in that child. I experience giving validation as just letting my love for this child shine through and be the dominant mode of relating regardless of whatever else is going on. That may or may not be relevant to you - only sharing because it came up strongly for me as I thought on your post. Feel free to disregard.

And I'll also just point out that the Christian religion, like the other big religions, are pretty much baked in patriarchy. You can have nicer looking patriarchy (I've published in journals of feminist Catholicism, I know how to pretty it up), and uglier patriarchy - but honestly - think of the language - Father and Son. Maybe ask a church how they refer to God. If they're like, 'Mother, Daughter and Spirit, of course!' you've actually run into a church that is trying to become less systemically bigoted against those who are not (straight) men.

It's pretty easy to know which Christian denominations are inclusive of gay people and which ones aren't (most of 'em). So don't be wasting time on second guessing individuals, just look to the policy (sorry, don't know what to call it in church context - doctrine?) Can your gay neighbor rock up at church, and be treated the same as your straight neighbour, including being able to be married in the church? No? Aw, they can have a special 'blessing'? Yeah, still homophobic. Don't just (general you) look for the right noises to be made from the pulpit. Most churches do not challenge homophobia (or sexism) at a systemic level. If that really matters to you, and it's not a matter of comfort at what a minister says from the pulpit - well, your pickings will be quite slim. I mean, if it was me, I'd just call up and have a chat. Hey, can women be ministers/priests in this church? Do you marry gay people? No? No? (Or a combo of yes/no) - Ok, bye, not for us. You can have a relationship with the Divine outwith a church.

Hands and knees for mine, pushing just happened. First baby it was maybe 20 min, second baby less than 5 min, third baby I got really fed up and honestly don't even remember it, cos I was tired and cranky and over the whole thing. It wasn't long. I was really lucky that I could have my babies in a birth centre, so no staying on the bed, monitoring etc. Also v lucky that they were all a good size for me and in good positions.

Hope the gig is a mood booster and helps you keep on keeping on. The longer you look, the harder it is to look. I get it. Applying is a job in itself, and then you need to marshal your internal resources to manage rejections. Sending some encouragement your way. Take a breath, and keep going. The UTI won't be helping, so hopefully once that's improved, you will get a boost from feeling better too.

Speaking of misogyny - 'DV doesn't count in child custody cases'. It's naked and baring its teeth in Family Court.

Yeah, a code of ethics is there for a reason - it's not pick and choose. I think it is very easy to underestimate the extent to which an audience impacts on what is felt and said.

No, ethics apply to couples therapy as well! It's not really 'my' objection - it's part of a code of ethics, to uphold patient/s privacy and confidentiality.

This was my experience in the last few years of two of my kids and their friends living here. I don't bother with self recrimination, because if there had been viable options, I'd have taken them.

Because therapy ( as opposed to education or skills or supportive counselling or whatever) is about building relationship with one another in the absolute privacy of the therapy room. I understand that it's interesting and intriguing and provides a glimpse into a therapy-like experience, and there is nothing wrong with people watching. Or taking part. The ethics violation is all on the part of the therapist, nobody else. Reputable and experienced psychotherapists disagree on a lot but NOT on the importance of the frame, one aspect of which is the privacy of the room and the hour. If you're interested in the concept of the frame, and how it provides psychological safety for a patient, there's a lot out there. Filming and broadcasting, even with consent, violates the frame from the very beginning. For the same reason, therapists ought not to talk about their patients on social media.

I don't think the couples are victims, necessarily. The ethics issue is all on the therapist's side. It's not really about consent at all - it's about bending the frame so egregiously that what you provide is not really therapy.

Ah, spiritual sustenance, physical sustenance, all part of the same thing!

@wathe that is my home screen now - thanks!!

Yes, but the parents were separated.

Social democracy, baby! The least worst of all the bad ways of governing a nation. High taxes, but you get a lot for them.

I've mentioned this elsewhere, but yes, I think it's unethical of the therapist/s. Not of the viewers! Viewers are not bound by a code of ethics, and neither are the people receiving the therapy. I've also mentioned this elsewhere, but I've heard from psychotherapists that fiction can do as good a job of letting people 'see into' the process of therapy. The TV series, In Treatment, has been recommended as having particular verity, though it dramatizes and condenses the more usual patient arcs.

Yes, my friend's partner cohabited with his son's mother till the son turned 18 - he was not in a relationship with the mother.

I'm looking at shared housing - I'm not picky (I am, I don't want to share with males unknown to me). It's as expensive to rent a room near to where I work as it was to rent a whole (small) apartment about five years ago. But anyway, housing is a not-working thing, and this thread is for things that are working, so I'll leave that one there. Just wanted to say, the housing crisis here is not people being picky and wanting a mansion.