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Melissa Louise

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Everything posted by Melissa Louise

  1. Can US partisan politics related to Ukraine have a s/o thread on the Politics board, please? Because y'all are going to get this one locked.
  2. Honestly, I spent a lot of time with my person, and I say variations on this. 'Oh, ok.' 'Huh ' 'Well, there you go.' 'Gosh' 'Not sure ' 'You could be right.' Arguments won't/can't heal the unmet need in you, even if you are right. Consider using the argument to set boundaries as a way of avoiding the boundary you need to set.
  3. It's definitely regional, or formal/informal. The last few funerals I've been to almost nobody sticks to black. In fact, with my dear aunt's funeral, I had the opposite problem. She had requested people wear bright colours. Ds did not own any clothes that weren't black! I hope you are able to choose something that you feel comfortable and appropriate in.
  4. It's not worth it. Grey rock the whole thing. IMO. Yes, you were right. Doesn't matter. You're not going to change the person's narcissism through an argument. Being right, and proving you are right, and standing up for the fact you are right will not get you anything in particular from this person. If you can't bear to grey rock, either don't see the person, or get comfortable with arguing over every little thing.
  5. I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, wintermom.
  6. Glad things are smoother. It's a lot when it all comes at once.
  7. That tracks. My understanding is that the rates of L & G are consistent over time, with Gen Z growth due to increasing identifications with B, T and Q. It makes sense that L & G would be a stable minority, given we are a sexually reproducing species.
  8. Sending love and care to the whole family, Mercy.
  9. All good. We're on the high side/high end of the street.
  10. I think my school will be ok with me continuing to mask, but yes, it's a lot easier when everyone is. Yes, very little thought or care for the children.
  11. No masks in schools here (NSW) from next week. I'll still be wearing mine, but everyone else seems very excited about it.
  12. I don't see Tanaqui's posts, so no need to react on my behalf 🙂
  13. I stack, wash, put away cooking stuff, wipe down benches, table, oven + sweep. I also don't think the kitchen is cleaned unless you've at least wiped down the stove top.
  14. Most of mine are like action films and involve a LOT of hiding from villains only to discover the baddy with the knife is in the house...exhausting!
  15. If they arrived at six, this would be reasonable. They arrive at four, a lot of ours, and it just isn't reasonable. There's massive growth between four and five, and five and six. School is not always pleasant for small people 🙁
  16. No. My goal with 3-6 year olds is to get them to be in tune with their own bodies; urinate when their bladder tells them 'I'm full!' + notice in a timely way the urge to defecate. I never made my kids go 'just in case' because it interferes with that process. Older kids, or kids who have already moved through that process, can have some ability to adapt; four year olds should be able to pee when their bodies tell them 'I need to pee!'. Not when Miss Melissa Louise' says it's everyone's toilet time. A lot of younger children can't 'go' on demand, and prefer to go with only one other child, not the whole team. But it's just one element of controlling children's bodies. The most egregious I'm seeing ATM is making an autistic four year old stay in his seat, when he is clearly sensorily overwhelmed and needs to self regulate through moving/stimmimg.
  17. The crazy dreams continue. I dreamt that David Bowie overheard me mentioning Mick Jagger, and we had a lovely chat, which culminated in me gifting him a black hoodie on which I'd embroidered, in red thread, the names of all his songs. It was a child's hoodie, and much too small, but he graciously took it before leaving in his helicopter, not before expressing interest in the Australian poetry anthology I planned on sending him. Brains are so weird.
  18. You don't need my approval for any of that. I don't run around town checking bi credentials. If it matches your life experiences, it matches your life experiences. Not quite the same as a functionally straight person like me claiming a bi identity because I have some flexibility around attraction.
  19. If you've lived your whole life in a heterosexual relationship, and plan to continue to do so, but have a same sex orientation, sure, you have a same sex orientation. And probably a good dose of internalized homophobia. Should you run around proclaiming you are gay, part of the gay community, and oppressed on that basis without expecting the side eye from people living outside of heterosexual norms their entire lives? Probably not.
  20. Srsly. Kindergarten bodies are policed (esp school based kindergarten). Here's an example: from Week 4 of kindergarten where I work, the (mostly) 4 year olds in our care are expected to have learned that going to the toilet is for before and after school, and break time. They're not banned from the toilet at other times, but we are meant to discourage it. The goal is that kindergarten bladders and bowels will begin to function according to school rules. I never discourage it, always allow it, but I'm not meant to do that. Kindergarten is explicitly about the shaping of children to fit themselves to school needs.
  21. Definitely policing mine. As a woman who has straight up ( no pun intended) benefited from heterosexuality my entire life, I personally would not be surprised at the side eye from a gay person, or from bisexuals who have lived outside the heterosexual norm. Other people with flexibility around their romantic or sexual orientation may have experienced what it's like to step outside hetero world, through same sex relationships. Their identity as bisexuals is valid, as the kids say. But yeah, I do think it's a stretch, if you've not been in same sex relationships at any point, and presented/lived as/benefited from heterosexual relationships, to claim a capital B identity. But I mean, if a person can claim bisexuality despite a life lived as a heterosexual, fine. Guess my critique about gay people having 'prilevege' cones from inside the tent now.
  22. I'm glad the meds are working better. Thinking of you and your family.
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