Yes

Thank you very much for all of this. I’m going to take more time to digest what you’ve said, so I probably won’t be back to respond more thoughtfully and ask follow up questions until next weekend (and partially because I have to give myself limits or I’ll never complete anything 😂). I just didn’t want you to think I didn’t see or like what you’ve shared. I do! Feel free to add more ideas if you think of them! These are definitely the types of things I was hoping for! I especially like you color classification thing and want to get it some more time to think how I could best adapt that for our use (while also teaching it *to* him as a tool for his own life planning in a similar way to the “spoon theory”). Anyway, thank you! I wanted you to know my absence doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate or can’t use your suggestions. Actually, my health situation *is* something you could probably understand quite easily and is most definitely a factor at play here. There always seems to be so many many moving parts to our story that I leave a lot out in an attempt to be relatable. Just know that I’m also familiar with TPN and ports (on my 3rd) and ventilators and home health and guesses about how long people will live (and the inevitable emotional fallout of hearing that, then the fallout of outliving that) and and and. I’m sorry you are too. It’s definitely hard to explain to others and after living our lives bouncing from one emergency to the next for years, I made a choice to not live that way. I can’t easily explain what I mean by that, but I have a feeling you may understand. I’m focusing on the “ordinary” because it’s the ordinary that matters.

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT207021

RoadID with a red band is my favorite choice. It’s purpose is clear and the product is durable. Mostly, you will want to steer clear from anything too “pretty” as it could easily get overlooked in an emergency. Up to date and clear information on your phone’s emergency screen is useful and free if you already own a phone.

Sure. Any number of things could be substituted here. Is “no change” your proposed solution? Is “no oversight aside from mandated reporters” your proposed solution?

What would be a good way to protect the freedom to homeschool AND prevent those freedoms from being used to abuse (or cover up abuse of) children?

Yes!! I would love to hear more about your day to day, if you are willing to share. Officially and philosophically I agree with that mental health is more important than Algebra. But, practically speaking, sometimes that actually looks like continuing with studies or altering them in intelligent ways. (I’m looking for more of those intelligent alterations here. 😉) He definitely *usually* does best when his mind is appropriately stimulated.

I mentioned GeneSight because we were talking about medications, not because that was what I had considered genetic testing. Other members of his family (including me) have had whole exome sequencing done through a major research university. We have a geneticist who is internationally renown. We know a lot—arguably too much—and I have a different kind of worry about it all. I am homozygous C677T for MTHFR, so we’ve assumed he has at least one copy. But, honestly, that is a very common mutation and we know so much more about that is *not* common about our genetic material that it doesn’t play a large role in our lives. Spark has contacted us and it’s only on my list of things to check out. I appreciate your willingness to help, but I won’t answer any more questions of genetics. Hopefully what I’ve said here is enough. We have local resources. I’m looking specifically for adaptations for homeschool. I have a lot of trouble explaining what he’s like to people who don’t know him really really well. People constantly underestimate him if they only know his difficulties. But, he’s capable of completing grade-level schoolwork. He can usually speak well. He has a very high IQ. He functions at a high level for perhaps 80% or more of the time, but then will suddenly function at a low level for a period of time (and even that isn’t a fair assessment of his ability to sum it up in this way). I know it’s not a popular thing to say, but I want more for my kids than for them to “be happy”. I want them to contribute to society. If this also makes them happy, that’s great. He is not through the other side of puberty yet and doesn’t have facial hair. We live in a city. I do have local resources, but don’t love all of them for a variety of reasons. Honestly, a big reason is the constant assumption that he can’t become a productive member of society. To be frank here, people told my grandparents this about my father and my parents this about me. And it was false. My father was a well-respected head scientist and I’m a functioning wife and mother. We do have some things set up with our lawyer and we aren’t worried about him being homeless or uncared for as an adult. But, other members of my family have spent their entire lives in institutions and I refuse to let that be his path. Onto some other questions about things I’d much rather discuss here: Better With Things Shut Down: I assume the largest factor here is that more kids are available to talk to via methods he is most comfortable with (not in person). Friends are difficult for him to make and keep. He has one best friend who he talks to daily, but she has very firm boundaries with him (good for her!) and will sometimes not speak to him for days, which always sets of a tailspin reaction of emotions with him. That’s probably his single largest stressor. But, currently, his cousin who he is close with is allowed more screen time than usual and can play Minecraft with him while they talk on the phone. I’ve had two other friends of mine ask if their kids who are going stir-crazy can play with him as well. Again, these are kids who aren’t normally allowed this amount of device time and my kid prefers to speak to them on the phone as they play. So, widening his social circle is what I think is currently helping him. We’ve known this was an issue for a long time and have struggled to find appropriate social outlets for him. We have an ongoing conversation about it with his therapist. He’s off-putting to a lot of local parents not just because of what I’ve shared here (as if that wouldn’t be enough), but because he is not straight (probably gay, but he’s still figuring that out). So, while other local homeschoolers have consistently been kind about it, it can be somewhat of an issue when his goal is to forge stronger friendships or even one day have a crush, etc. We live in a very conservative state in the US. He is very very “out” verbally and with his clothing choices. We were making some headway when everything shut down. There is a local teen meetup that will be perfect for him...when he turns 14. Additionally, we’ve tried to steer him more and more into theatre because of its generally inclusive vibe. He was in a musical about a year ago and just THRIVED socially for a short period of time there. He was even nominated for a local theatre award for his part. He’s naturally very good at acting and music. But, he’s also very gun-shy about performing because of his severe Tourette’s. He was going to be helping on a musical in June backstage, but it has now been cancelled. Theatre is definitely an avenue we have been working on. Anyway, the friend thing is why I think he’s been doing better. Structure: His weekdays (good and bad) are highly structured. He prefers this. I do sometimes worry that he may use hallucinations as an excuse to coast in school for an afternoon. My rule is that he doesn’t get “free time” use of devices until 3:00 PM and that doesn’t change when he has a sick day (a word we use to include any kind of sick). This is also the rule for his younger sister who typically attends public school. His weekends are much freer, but still have end caps of morning and evening routines, plus mealtimes (and specific meals on specific days at that...although we do sometimes work with him about being flexible with change because: life happens). I would love to connect with someone else who has a similar situation to know how they handle the periods of time when their child cannot do as much as normal, but aren’t quite at the emergency level. Emergency Mode: For instance, the last paranoid psychotic episode where there was a significant danger that lasted for days was roughly two years ago. Except for his first one of these (at age 9), schoolwork does stop. (Or at least what schoolwork typically looks like stops. I often have tried to keep the words and structure there as much as possible.) We will soldier on as normal with accommodations while we can because we never know the size or depth of each break from reality. Our go-to when he’s at his worst is to have him rearrange heavy furniture. (I’m sure that sounds very bizarre, but is actually a good representation of why I even made this post. The local resources and such would not give us advice like this. We figured it out through trial and error and our intimate knowledge of our kid. I’d love to have give and take with other parents because I think the families themselves are the actual real experts here.) His psychosis tends to co-occur with a certain manic energy and tapping into his perfectionist/OCD tendencies can bring him out of his head and into reality more. (His psychiatrist is resisting formal diagnoses here because of his age and that’s fine with us for now.) Moving low-to-the-ground heavy furniture (like couches) independently or more delicate and larger items (like bookshelves) with help takes up a lot of his energy and puts it to use productively. Then, he gets very particular about how they line up and this brings his focus away from the shadow people or the voices and back onto something in front of him. Our whole house can get rearranged several times, but everyone stays safe. Non-Emergency, but Needs Support Mode: He does not use AAC very much. It was also not originally purchased for him and is set up for use by another family member in the home. He’s familiar with it though and typically prefers the keyboard to speech function unless very overwhelmed. But, over a course of a year or so I began to recognize certain patterns of behavior (his tone of voice will change, he will begin to stutter and then eventually stop speaking, he stares off, he may bang his head) that if dealt with early on in the process with sensory tools, hydroxyzine, and access to the AAC to use until the moment passes (typically 1 - 4 hours), he often doesn’t need to alter his course very much. We may be able to finish the school day as planned. Head-banging is typically my cue to make more drastic changes, but even then it’s always a very very hard balance to find. And, I suppose it’s some of these examples that make it difficult to express and understand the whole picture here. I once took some video of him with diminished speaking and understanding ability (he was giving one word responses that were not always appropriate) and repetitive head banging. A few hours later, I have pictures of messages he was able to write to explain with a very high level of detail and complex language about “the depth of his sorrow” (his actual words) a few hours. His message even included a heart-melting apology. And then, a few hours after that, he was a like any typical kid at family meal time. He’s just ALL of those things. If that makes sense. These videos and evidence are personal and useful to share with his professionals, but are not things I want to share with others. So, his entire reality can be much more difficult to properly explain. Don’t Worry About School: I absolutely do not want to give up on his regular schoolwork. He’s working on Art of Problem Solving Intro to Algebra right now and is writing a research paper about Galileo. He’s a capable kid. I could absolutely use direction on what day to day school looks like for any other complex kids like this. (“2e” just doesn’t explain this) I’m considering putting literature and read alouds at the end of the day or week so that we could have those to switch to when things go south. I also might bank some ideas for large motor activities as well. That’s the kind of thing that could really help me. He currently has a subject we call “Practical Life” that I’ve been considering dropping as a formal school subject next year. I can still plan things to share with him in less formal ways outside of school time. (He does best with a formal feel to homeschool and I realize that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.) I give him three rocks in the morning on school days (or rather they are in the zipped outer pouch of his fidget pouch which he is responsible for getting off of the cart each morning). If he wants to talk about something completely off the wall, he has to give me a rock and we can stop what we are doing (up to 3 times each day) to research something random or for him to tell me about something random...for up to 5 minutes (which is typically enough, when it’s not we agree to talk about it at a later date). I indulge his ideas (mostly spoken as when he’s having trouble with spoken language, he typically stays on topic) whenever they are even loosely based on what we are studying. He makes a lot of creative and interesting connections and I don’t count those. If he can’t clearly articulate how his thing connects to his current thing in school, he has to spend a rock or when out...I won’t indulge him and will consistently redirect him back to his work. This does seem to help him quite significantly for such the small thing that it is. Hallucinations and delusions can come quick, but there is still a path to them in his mind and it helps to keep him focused and “in the lines” if that makes sense. We do stop and backtrack and talk about life skills as needed, but I’m so often making this up as I go. A lot of it comes from an informed place, but just without concrete tools. Handwriting: I probably do just need “permission” to stop forcing the issue. I’m having trouble letting go, I guess. A consistent signature and typing does really sound like a common sense approach here. I’ve heard the “let him type” over and over for a few years now and I’ve just remained stubborn, I suppose. I guess my “never give up on him” attitude may be misplaced here. I carry some misplaced guilt with that as well.

He typically has access to speech.

What do you think is a reasonable response to account for both of these populations?

❤️

I have pretty debilitating sensory sensitivities (and a diagnosis to go along with that). I’ve read many books on the topic (albeit, not the one you asked about). Most of the books I’ve read in that vein are usually most helpful for parents or caregivers who *don’t* understand what it’s like. That’s not you. The book that has actually helped me the most is “The Mindful Way Workbook”, which is an accessible home study course in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. A nice set of noise-cancelling headphones, custom ear plugs (you can wear both at the same time 😉), a weighted blanket, and skin brushing all help me adapt as well. Good luck. I can relate that it sucks...

This is true. That is a very large gathering.

I do enjoy the level of basic non-oversight I currently have with homeschooling where I live, but I can also understand and respect the need to protect children who may be abused under the guise of being homeschooled. So, I suppose it makes sense to me to have people get together to discuss it.

I’m not.

What are your thoughts?

What does this mean? I assume dc = dear child. What does it mean to be qualified with the county board?

He hasn’t gotten worse since life outside has shutdown. Arguably, he’s doing better. He is still having eVisits with his psychiatrist and therapist. The medications have always been a very difficult balancing act. Risperdal and Abilify made him gain so so much weight and his cholesterol went to a scary level that we had to change again and again. He’s now on less than he ever has been before, but I’m currently comfortable with this balance. He has had GeneSight testing for medications. We also do know a lot about our genetics because of some severe health problems within the the family unrelated to him. I don’t want to go into too much detail publicly, but we do know all of this (aside from Tourette’s which comes from my husband’s side) is genetic and not likely to just go away. We have a very thorough geneticist. (Yes, we do have methylation issues, but I’m fairly sure those are pretty widespread among the general population.) I’m mostly looking for day to day advice and camaraderie. As for what I hope for him at age 18 is that he be able to pursue a path that contributes to society and that he can live independently. On alternating days, I can see him achieving at a high level... or never being independent. It all feels possible, honestly. I’ll look at the ELSA forms. Thanks!

Does anyone have a child or teen diagnosed with mental illness? Tell me all of your secrets! ☺️

Oh, is touch typing just typing? (Or, at least what generations older than the current children think of as typing?)

Thank you SO MUCH! Writing (Composition): I had planned to have him write essays and papers within his Literature, History, and Science times. I was planning on using an old college writing text of mine to guide him (as a reference). We have previously tried IEW, but couldn’t get into it and I gave it away. It is certainly useful to see others pointing out this hole for me to work on investigating further. What do you think of this plan? Literature: I am still finalizing the list, but there will be a list. 😉 My starting place is the Literature list for 8th Grade from The Well-Trained Mind. I wrote out what I did above primarily to speak to my husband about cost. But, I’d love to hear thoughts on that specific list. Like I tell my son now, I don’t keep him from reading what he wants in his spare time (well, within reason). But, I imagine we will continue to have occasional free-choice reading days here and there. He is particularly interested in reading about LGBTQ+ history (also: he isn’t straight, which can be problematic in forming closer friendships as he gets older within the homeschooling community in the Deep South). Grammar: I don’t think he’s behind in grammar. I scheduled that amount of time based off recommendations from WTM. Does it seem like too much? Another poster above reported that this program took them more time than I have planned. However, we actually have used this in the past (I gave it away so now need to repurchase it). We didn’t finish it previously (in 5th grade) and I don’t recall how far we got or how much time it took. I really dislike the disjointed nature of BookShark language we are currently using and longed to go back to where we were. Perhaps extra time gained in grammar could be devoted to writing? I do recall thinking that we might not want the workbook at all, but I can’t remember enough about why I thought that. History: A hands-on project here and there is in the scope of what I had imagined for the year. Generally speaking, he is required to work on the subject he is scheduled for during the time we allot for it (which I’m not overly strict about, but we both benefit from some expected guidelines). So, when he is finished with the new “big picture input”, further exploration is encouraged. For years, I tried to plan these out, but my stack of unused science kits, lap books (I don’t know what I was thinking there...this is NOT a lap book kid), and activity manuals could tell you that that was a fool’s errand. 😂 He enjoys projects, but only when he discovers or creates them. I had also planned for him to write essays and papers within history as well. This week, he’s wrapping up a research paper on Galileo. Science: I actually had some TOPS kits picked out and deleted them when I remembered I should wait on those, so it’s funny you mention them. The Chemistry for the Logic Stage I picked out does come with a kit, but I’m unsure about this pick altogether. I’ve never really found science we like (that we can afford, at least). I set up meetings with two different physicists for him to interview when he was much younger (as he aspired to become a quantum physicist at the time) and he had some one-on-one Skype lessons from a university professor once. These have been the most beneficial science learning opportunities for him so far. But, he really needs to advance more in math. I was thinking his biology and chemistry knowledge probably lagged behind his other knowledge and we already own lots of reference books for biology. (He also hates Biology.) I’m most unsure about Science. That Python book may be too easy for him (I haven’t checked with him yet) as he does learn it in his spare time. He showed me some basics of using variables in Python to make a very simple role playing game yesterday. I was just hoping for some kind of guide for his learning rather than his random acquiring of knowledge he’s doing with it now. I haven’t heard of touch typing or callirobics, so I will definitely check those out! Thanks again!

I hadn’t planned to count high school credits until he is in his 9th grade year. Is there a reason you include this information that I’m not really understanding? Thank you very much for the link! I had planned to have him write during his Literature, History, and Science times. But, I honestly do not know what I’m doing here...

What adaptations do you make for a child with severe mental illness? My 13-year-old son deals with severe mood swings with psychosis. Additionally, he is autistic, has severe Tourette's (without coprolalia), significant difficulty with *handwriting, and has a high IQ. His breaks from reality typically include hallucinations and paranoia and he will be unable to function for hours up to a week and will need constant 24/7 awake supervision during these times. Occasionally, they can be of the “lighter” variety and a mental health day or afternoon in nature resolves the episode. At other times, we must send our other child to stay with family for a few days for her safety, spend hours on the phone and in dr offices, and have hourly debates about hospitalization. He has previously had occupational therapy for sensory integration, takes medications daily and as needed for mood/anxiety/psychosis, is in cognitive behavioral therapy, has a travel bag of sensory tools, and has access to an AAC (proloquo2go) as needed. I’m curious what choices others with similar challenges make. How does this affect your goal planning, curriculum choices, etc? I find it hard to balance making certain we cover what I think we should in certain amounts of time with his more sporadic bursts of manic energy and surprise time off needed. He’s been homeschooled for 3 years and attended a private school before that time. *I highly suspect dysgraphia but have been unable to find anyone to test him for it. He continually complains that writing hurts his hand. He naturally tries to write with a LOT of pressure to slow himself down and we’ve been working on practicing writing lightly and slowly to achieve neater handwriting, but it’s still a chore for him to write something short hat is barely legible.

I should also include that my son has significant challenges as well. I’m 95% certain he has dysgraphia but haven’t been able to find a local place to test for it (not even the local private Orton-Gillingham school knows where we could go). I will ask about this (and more) in the special challenges forum. Also: he’s autistic, has severe Tourette’s (without coprolalia), has a high IQ, and has recurring bouts of severe psychosis. If the sensory world overwhelms him too much, he has access to an AAC to use as needed and can almost always soldier on with studies when accommodated this way for an hour or so. His Tourette’s affects his ability to listen to live lectures and watch videos with others as he can’t reliably keep his eyes open, especially the more he thinks about it. He is medicated for his psychosis and sees a therapist for general life skills/anxiety/etc., but we still need to plan on an average of 2 breaks from reality per month. We have tools to handle this when it happens, but it can definitely mean we need to suddenly shift gears to focus on mental health for anywhere between an afternoon to a week at a time. He’s highly efficient at other times, so curriculum that can be well adapted to alternating bursts of manic energy, periods of more consistent ability, and periods with trouble thinking are ideal. (Which has often meant having more than one choice to satisfy a subject, utilizing side sources to reinforce basics or aid in memory in the lower ability moments.) These questions aren’t typically answered in FAQ sections...

The post you linked to is what I was looking for. Thank you very much! I’m not a new homeschooler, but we *are* transitioning into classical homeschooling next year. I’m unsure about many of my picks because I have not used them before. Specific to us: my son struggles with handwriting, is overly sensitive to a dominant Christian Worldview seeping through in “faith-neutral” (etc.) choices, plays guitar, and wants to learn Japanese next year. Here are my tentative picks currently (forgive my copy & paste, it was easiest): A few notes: -I am aware that Story of the World is written for a younger audience. We are finishing BookShark 6 this year which uses the first two volumes and Kingfisher Encyclopedia as a spine for history. I want to finish the story with him, but we will transition to the outlining next year. -He has already began AoPS Intro to Algebra, so I know this is a good pick for him. I’d love to hear opinions on which Intro book to pick next for him or general weekly/monthly goals for this book. -He has no prior logic experience. -We did Song School Latin when he was very small, but have not done any since that time. -He works very quickly and efficiently. Thank you for any thoughts on our picks! 8:00 Logic 3h 1h 1h 1h Art of Argument $48.90 Brainteasers $18.99 Argument Builder $48.90 Critical Thinking Co Demos $0.00 8:00 Music 1h 1h Introduction to the Orchestra $12.99 8:00 Mathematics 4h 45m 45m Intro to Algebra $0.00 Moneywise Kids $13.99 9:00 1h 1h 1h 1h Alcumus and Math Jams $0.00 Prime Club $27.84 9:00 Co-op (Thursday) 3h 15m 3h 15m 10:00 Latin 4h 1h 1h 1h 1h Latin Alive! 1 $139.95 Japanese Duolingo $0.00 Tiny Cards $0.00 11:00 Word Study 1h 15m 15m 15m 15m Vocab From Classical Roots A $23.95 Vocab From Classical Roots B $23.95 11:15 Grammar 3h 45m 45m 45m 45m WTM Purple Bundle Download $49.90 The Grammar Guidebook $17.95 WTM Core Instructor Download $29.95 The Diagramming Dictionary $17.95 12:00 Lunch 2h 30m 30m 30m 30m 30m 30m 12:30 Library (Thursday) 2h 30m 2h 30m 12:30 History 3h 1h 30m 1h 30m Story of the World 3 $17.95 Story of the World 4 $17.95 Timeline Figures $19.00 12:30 Science 3h 1h 30m 1h 30m Chemistry for Logic Stage $134.98 Library Books $0.00 Python Crash Course $22.99 2:00 Literature 3h 1h 1h 1h Get from Library $0.00 2:00 Art 1h 1h The Collins Big Book of Art $39.95 Drawing on the Right Brain $33.20 All 7h 7h 7h 7h 7h $761.23